Tuesday, August 4, 2026

Read And Write A Limerick. Comical Poem and Poetry Information and Instruction by Angela Lansbury.


A teacher wrote a limerick

Sat down and did it very quick

Re-read it, very quickly

Thought adverbs should end l y - quickly

Better change it very quick

Her own error made her sick.


Can you write a limerick about English, grammar - or pronunciation. Remember the song, You say tomato and I say tomato.

I have added an extra line to the limerick. That is two errors in one limerick. 

Here  are some conventional limericks.


  There once was a lady in Harrow

Who lived in a street high and narrow

It took lots of will

To climb up the hill

With her shopping in a wheelbarrow.


Indians moved to Hillview Road

Proud of their new olde worlde abode

Smart garden's foxes

Bred under boxes

Where gold rings and bangles were stowed.


In England's streets we fly our flags

And welcome visitors in drag

We've a king and queen

And royals not seen

On tee-shirts, caps, key rings and bags.


Useful Websites

Pronunciation

Limericks

Useful Websites On Songs, Pronunciation And The Meaning Emotion The Words

https://www.songlyrics.com/ella-fitzgerald/you-say-tomato-i-say-tomato-lyrics/

ELSE SPEAK App reviewed

https://reviewed.app/app/elsa-speak/?utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=533039014&utm_content=1351302449186883&utm_term=kwd-84457623781059:loc-188&adId=84456819126071&msclkid=67fcfc89cca0153bdbbd96fb138ad773#google_vignette

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anapaest

 -ends-

My first version of the poem on Hillview Road, was written thinking of my late neighbours Loudon and Alice who had foxes in the back garden. However, Hatch End now has many Indian restaurants and new residents, so I changed the limerick to fit the new reality.

The rhyming scheme is eight syllables for the first couplet. only five for the second two, and return to eight for the fifth and last line. You need two rhymes. Using the letters of the alphabet for short to show the rhyming lines, to aabba.

Now write a limerick using the name of your street, area, city, or country.

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Nobody Knows

 What you do in the bathroom

Nobody knows

If you wash your hands after 

Blowing your nose

If you are wearing too small, or too large

Or stained underclothes

If you don"t tell, nobody knows


If you keep a secret which nobody knows

So long as you don't forget and tell

Nobody cares, because nobody knows

After death if you go to heaven or hell

If you don't tell, nobody knows.

-ends-



Read and Write a Limerick. Comical Poem and Poetry Information and Instruction by Angela Lansbury.



 There once was a lady in Harrow

Who lived in a street high and narrow

It took lots of will

To climb up the hill

With her shopping in a wheelbarrow.


Indians moved to Hillview Road

Proud of their new olde worlde abode

Smart garden's foxes

Bred under boxes

Where gold rings and bangles were stowed.


In England's streets we fly our flags

And welcome visitors in drag

We've a king and queen

And royals not seen

On tee-shirts, caps, key rings and bags.


My first version, thinking of my late neighbours Loudon and Alice who had foxes in the back garden. However, Hatch End now has many Indian restaurants and new residents, so I changed the limerick to fit the new reality.

The rhyming scheme is eight syllables for the first couplet. only five for the second two, and return to eight for the fifth and last line. You need two rhymes. Using the letters of the alphabet for short to show the rhyming lines, to aabba.

Now write a limerick using the name of your street, area, city, or country.

Please share links to your favourite posts.

Whatever can go wrong goes wrong. Comical poem by Angela Lansbury.

  Whether my day is short or long

Whatever can go wrong goes wrong

Whether I am early or late

Some things you can't anticipate


Even if I stay home and write

All day I edit, put wrongs right

Then, when I see the fading light

It's time for me to jaunt at night


I took great care with what I wore

Welcomed those I'd not seen before.

Friends gave me a lift to my door

My door key won't open the door!


What can I do now left alone?

Son's miles away, who can I phone?

I call my old friend from next door

She pulls, pushes, and three times more


We have no choice, it is a pain

She pulls and pushes once again

At last it opens. And no doubt

Friends help, but I'm scared to go out


Because I know, days short or long

Whatever can go wrong, goes wrong.

-ends-

Angela Lansbury is the author twenty books, including several books of comical poems, such as Animals Pets and Pests. She has also written  books on about writing poetry such as Poetry Workbook, which you can browse of buy from Amazon.co.uk, or Amazon.com and Lulu.com  She has also contributed poems and chapters to anthologies edited by Carolyn Street.

Please share links to your favourite posts. 

Saturday, August 1, 2026

So expensive - so cheap. Comical Poem number 823 by Angela Lansbury

Babies are very expensive

They need burials if they die

But need nappies if they live

Powdered milk costs, you wonder why


Children are very expensive

They need to follow school rules

The right colours, hats and ties

Wear uniforms, use school tools


Weddings are very expensive

The bride's all important dress

Invitations embossed in gold

Nothing but the very best


Old folk are expensive

 The cost of walking frames

You wonder why, they need pills

If they ate right, they're not to blame


I have always liked a bargain

So today I shan't complain

About the quality, it's cheap

I found discounts, freebies, again.

-ends-

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Wednesday, July 29, 2026

How to write A Sonnet. Comical poem 822 by Angela Lansbury.

William Shakespeare, who wrote sonnets.
 

A sonnet's an old basic rhyme

A,b,a,b is how you do it

Liked 'cos it doesn't take much time

Three four-line verses  - one couplet


The word sonnet sounds so grand

I taught English so understand

Son means sound or song, that’s all

And et, that simply means small


It's just three verses, very short

And can easily be taught

You can write it in just one hour

A simple message, just one thought


You sum up in the last short couplet

My message, we all can do it!

-ends-

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A Poet's Rapturous rap. Comical poem 821 by Angela Lansbury

 I heard a singer improvise rap

And thought, we poets could do that

Fine minds did that in ancient times

Shout for the deaf, paint for the blind


A paid scribe wrote lovers' letters

Wrote praise of the loved, and sender

Instantly made each thought bettet

Helped urgent borrower, or lender


Even the stupid improvise

When caught out, quickly make up lies

In places where the old folk meet

Alzheimer's use rhymes, and repeat


I do not  need to sing in tune

 I'll get away with moon and June

I do not need to make a band

All that I ask is clap your hands.

-ends-




Monday, July 27, 2026

Writers' Holiday. Comical Poem 820 by Angela Lansbury.

I drive up to the old house

Who is watching as I pass?

The old cows pause to glance at me

Still chewing on the tasty grass 


I stop to take a photo

Don't miss an opportunity

Though no poem nor prose yet planned

One day that could inspire me


In my mind many scenes are played

I'll write a feature, or a book

A best-seller, made into films

Magazine letter, modestly paid


I find a handy parking place

It's early, so I grab the space

I run inside the open door

And search for a familiar face


It's so good to be me

When you say you're glad to see me

I'm sure it's good to be you

When I say, 'I'm glad to see you, too!'


In the bedroom I unpack

My brand new dress bought to impress

Discover vital things I lack

I must make do 'til I go back


I must admit a year has passed

An older face looks from the glass

We've had days and friends, good and bad

Erase the mad, embrace the glad 


Circle the lounges in the break

And then sit down with chocolate cake

Delighted with new friends I'll make

Whilst handy tips I give and take


There's one gone I used to know

Gone to the place where old friends go

Ask mutual friends, 'D'you remember ...,' while

I see the ghost of her great smile


While strangers chat, some of them frown

Another calls, 'Come here, sit down!'

So this happy day is giving

New memories of those still living


I had to sit by a silent nerd

But he explained, glad to be heard

I exclaimed, 'Your head's full of value!'

And he was complimentary, too


In the hall I find an empty chair

The old piano stool is empty 

But somebody new sits down

Their pounding music fills the air


Sometimes I read, sometimes I write

The happy days turn into nights

I listen, late night scribble notes

I don't want to turn off the light


Until the day we pack to go

Say goodbye, wave, to those we know

To new friends, now firm friends, so dear

I promise, 'I'll be here next year!'

-ends-

Writers' Summer School at the Hayes, Swanwick, Derbyshire, England. 

People, now gone, who I remember: 

1The piano player; I bought his signed book. 

2 I miss Kim, who made a space for me on the sofa by moving up when others said no room. She looked me in the eye, and whispered conspiratorially, 'Some people are givers, some people are takers'. 

3 Tony Greenfield, the luminary statistician. His son is still active. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tony_Greenfield

4 The helpful, knowledgeable, newbie nerd later became a valued committee member and is still always active. 

I changed some folks made you mad. Now others make you glad, too many syllables

Sunday, July 26, 2026

Why Doesn't Somebody? Comical poem number 819 by Angela Lansbury

Why don't my dear old and new friends phone me?

Why don't friends hold a New Year's party?

Why doesn't someone ask me for coffee?

Why doesn't anybody think of me?


Who doesn't somebody empty waste bins?

Why doesn't someone clean the dirty floors?

Why doesn't somebody open windows?

Why doesn't someone lock front and back doors?


Why doesn't somebody start a business

One to give me useful. paid employment?

Why doesn't someone start a festival

Which would give everybody enjoyment?


Why doesn't somebody build a city?

Give the old and kids safe flats, downstairs rooms?

Why not balance the tides, rivers and rain?

Fill gardens with fruit, make the desert bloom?


What on earth was I put on this earth for?

Why don't I have more time, wealth and health?

Why wait? Why not start on my projects now?

The answer to all is inside myself.


Today I've just one thing to do

It's pass this message on to you.

-ends-

Please share with friends, family and colleagues the links to your favourite poems.

Friday, July 24, 2026

Plenty More Fish In the Sea. Comical poem 818 by Angela Lansbury.

We got married so long ago

We've heard most of the jokes before

I've too many small size clothes to wear

He has lost most of his hair

 

There's plenty more fish in the sea

There must be one who would like me

Fraudsters and murderers can find

Somebody of the same mad mind


There must be somebody out there

With money, or debts, who'd like to share

I boasted, 'This year I wrote a book.'

My date sighed, 'I've not even read a book.'


I've had a lot of broken hearts

Lots of stalls, as well as false starts

Some I would rather not recall

Alas I can recall them all


Choose a romantic restaurant

Ask them for a romantic song

Dress to impress. Look your best

What could go wrong? All could go wrong


I had a date with a man from Reading

Although he'd come, he looked quite glum

I wondered where we were heading

He sniffed, 'My bride-to-be cancelled our wedding'


Another's depression was hard to hide

I wondered if I'd be his next bride

I asked, 'What happened to your last mate?'

He cried. 'She committed suicide!'


People look my marriage and say

'We can't understand why you stay?'

I laugh, 'Plenty more fish, I've tried the lot

But decided to stay with what I've got!'

-ends-

Please share links to your favourite posts.

January 1st 2026 I wrote poem 712. July 24th 2026 poem 818

So that is


Wednesday, July 22, 2026

An Imaginary Angel Helped Tidy My House. Comical Poem 817 by Angela Lansbury.

 Mess! I day-dreamed I had an angel

To tidy up my hopeless house

It worked whilst I dreamed at night

Like Beatrix Potter's helpful mouse


I woke and went around my house

Did a fearful quick inspection

I kicked things on the floor aside

Under their, start here, direction


After one minute, I did two

I saw there was so much to do

Told angel cleaner, 'I'll help you -

I'll just do this one small section


'While I'm at it, I'll clean the floor

And later I'll hoover some more.'

I'm impressed what lost things I find

Books sorted, could be found when blind


I'm sure you'd like to ask me

How to contact my angel friend?

And if they're free, you'll borrow one

Just read this note I'll gladly send


I did not need much reflection

On my room and task selection

But if you're tired and faint-hearted

The secret's simple. Get started


Imagine a helpful angel

Stands near, pointing the direction

Planning to return for photos,

Before and after inspection


What's heart-warming and impressive

Is how much, solo, I have done

Simply imagining we're two

'though all this work was done by one.

-ends-

Mother's Smiling Face. Comical poem 816 by Angela Lansbury.

 Everywhere I go, mother follows me

She smiles perpetually, encouraging me

Her face in photos on the wall

I won't forget that smile at all


I know I'm just daydreaming

I understand how to others it seems

The dead are still alive

And speak to you in dreams


I don't mope, nor cling to vain hope

But choose only happy memory

We lived a long life of laughter

Together, that's how we wanted it to be


So everywhere I see her face

Although she's in some other place

Her smile and laughter's still with me

As I preserve her memory.

-ends-

The Escape Part 2. Comical poem 815 by Angela Lansbury.

Babies wake alone, start screaming

Children play, wake neighbours, shouting

Their mother snatches sleep, dreaming

Why is no-one helping, listening?


Their Dad was reading about football

Admiring heroes who were brave

He ran down to the sandy beach

Then hid in his dark, silent cave


His daughter ran down after him

Called, 'Don't hide, Dad, you won't win

Don't stay here working on your own

With her! Your kids say, please come home!'


Parents did their duty voting

But the council didn't listen

Voters complained, puzzled, in doubt

Thought things could change, voted, all out


Poets sighed, unread introverts

Wrote unpaid, yet no-one listened 

Songwriters' success? Add music, rhyme

Please, composers, help me this time!


Keen teens copy stars and royals

Cheaters think lovers are loyal

We all hope someone else will save

The world, while we hide in our cave.

-ends-

Reading time 2 minutes.

Version one tells poets to use rhymes, or write songs.

Version 2 seeks a composer.

Version 1 has the mother screaming - for help from her husband and the neighbours her children are annoying. Version 2 has her dreaming of help.

Usually I update a poem and show only the second or last version, with a footnote at the end about previous versions and how I improved the rhyme, rhythm, or removed repetition and added variety.

However, this time the poems have different messages to the audience, so I have included both as separate poems.

Please share links to your favourite poems.

Tuesday, July 21, 2026

The Escape Cave version 1. Comical poem 814 by Angela Lansbury.

Their baby was awake, screaming

Children woke the neighbours, screaming

Their sleeping mother, woke screaming

Why does no-one help or listen?


Their Dad was reading about football

Admiring active heroes, brave

He ran down to the sea, beach, waves

Then hid in his dark, silent cave


His daughter ran down after him

Shouted, 'Don't hide, Dad, you won't win

Don't stay here working on your own

With her! Your kids say, please come home!'


Parents did their duty voting

But the council didn't listen

Voters complained, puzzled, in doubt

Thought things could change, voted all out


Poets sighed, unread introverts

Wrote, stayed poor, cos no-one listened 

Songwriters' success? Add music, rhyme

Poets, please, hear me, this time!


Keen teens copy stars and royals

Cheaters think lovers are loyal

We all hope someone else will save

The world, while we hide in our cave.

-ends-

Reading time one and a half minutes.

Version one tells poets to use rhymes, or write songs.

Version 1 seeks a composer.

Version 1 has the mother screaming - for help from her husband and the neighbours her children are annoying. Version 2 has her dreaming of help.

See version 2 for more footnotes.

What makes me feel? Comical Poem 813 by Angela Lansbury.

What tasks and files make me feel ill?

Receiving new, even old bills

Instructions on new and old pills

Making new and reading old wills


What cheers me up, makes me feel well?

Affordable things others sell

High prices cups get if I sell

Hearing ice cream cart's ringing bell


What calms my afternoon slump, stress?

Planning a trip to East or West

Photos of a food and wine Fest

A tea-time cake with lemon zest


What wakes me, makes me feel my best?

Solving problems, or a hard test

Waking from long sleep or a rest

Bùying a new red hat or dress!


What action is most exciting

Let's imagine we're inviting

Friends whose skill is reading, writing

Calmly fishing, watching fighting?


Yes, dear friend, tell me about you?

Today what would do you like to do?

Watch bikes race? A1. Or football?

Or nothing at all?

-ends-

Please share links to your favourite poems.


Tuesday, July 14, 2026

My Legacy Of Laughter. Comical poem 812 by Angela Lansbury



 Each bit of me is fading

But still I struggle on

I hope if I am sweet and kind 

You'll miss me when I'm gone


But neither of us benefits

If my memory brings you tears

So I'll leave you love and laughter

To make you smile for years and years.

-ends-

I edited this poem by changing the title from The Legacy to The Legacy of Laughter. My next project is to go back through all my poems to see whether I can change titles to something alliterative, surprising or funny and sunny - happy.

That Shadow Shows The Way. Comical poem 811 by Angela Lansbury.


Fingers creating shadows. Photo by Angela Lansbury.


Last night I saw something so strange

The image haunted me today

As I'd walked with light behind me

My shadow seemed to lead the way.


It showed me where I was going

It gaily nodded up and down

It echoed, but seemed to lead me

On focused path along the ground


Leave only footsteps, people plead

Do not leave litter on the way

Walk as lightly as a shadow

Painted echo of your good day


In a painting vital shadows

Point the way that stick figures walk

The direction of the bright sun

The painter's silent form of talk


I have not, yet, made a painting

Last night's shadow has gone away

Yet the image stays in my mind

A tantalising sign today

Sometimes the light's behind me so shadows lead the way

But when the light's in front to guide, I don't see what shadows say

But left or right the bright sun shines

So you may read what fingers say.

-ends-

All this week our book at bedtime has been about English painter Lowry, famous for his crowds of leaning stick figures which seem to march across the page.

Please share links to your favourite poems.

Living In The Now. Comical poem number 810 by Angela Lansbury

William Shakespeare. Seated statue.


Many modern psychologists trying to put things right

They try to stop us getting suicidal in the dark of night

They tell us to forget the past, the future's yet to come

Just live in the moment, dwelling on past wrongs is dumb


So why do so many poets write about the past?

They think you should be serious, condemning those who laugh

Worst of all, poet time travellers, obsessed with years ago

Insist on writing hadst, didst, durst, words nobody now knows


They want to write like Shakespeare

Whose words were so sublime, they're near divine

Yet poets neglect a simple fact

Forget he wrote the ringing language of his time


Their metaphors sound clever, yet the meaning's missed in mist

They say lips touched like butterflies, that's obscure, they just mean kissed

Unlike modern Dixie Country songs which talk plain of ain't and lonesome

Poets hide, muddled meaning in metaphors. Plain poems are more wholesome


Running counter to psychiatry, poets compound our misery

Speaking, dwelling on only of atrocities which should remain in history

Their poems are depressing, and what have they gained?

Putting politics in poems just to spread more pointless pain


I hope one day that fancy, fanciful fashion

For outdated words will fade away

Meanwhile I'll stick to rhythm and rhyme

Modern, simple words we say today.

-ends-

Monday, July 13, 2026

My Left and Right. Comical Poem number 809 by prolific poet Angela Lansbury.

 


There's only one of unique me

But just a select few, that's you

Know the secret, strangest truth

Important parts of me share two


I have two hands, ten fingers, too

Ten toe nails, and toes on two feet. 

Gloves, shoes and socks, odd socks grew

Odd socks I hope will meet and greet


I have two eyes, and spectacles

I have two ears, and eary things

I have an awful lot of hair

Enough to scatter everywhere


Few fears and tears

One brain, high hopes, hectares of hair

Lots of wrinkles show many years

Some fading scars from fights with cars


One tummy, full

One busy, beating heart

But let me go back

To the thoughtful counting start


I need two gloves, I need two shoes

And pairs of socks enough to lose

Ang for my head many hats

My neighbour's cat breeds filling flats

Well, back to me, as you can see

There's only one of unique me

But fate has kindly granted two

Of my best parts, just like you

-ends-

Please share links to your favourite poems.

Send the links to your favourite family and friends.

My books on Amazon and Lulu have amusing poems, eg Poetry Pets and Pests, which is educational, and Poetry Workbook has a list of poetry patterns so you can write similar structured poems.

My Shadow. Comical poem number 808 by Angela Lansbury

No matter where I choose to go

My faithful shadow follows me

I don't print gold invitations

To breakfast, lunch, dinner - or tea

Shadow from hand forms an animal face. Photo by Angela Lansbury.

My shadow patiently sits there

It hides behind me til day's end

Not like an enemy or spy

As harmless as a dimwit friend


That shadow's strangely very dark

When there's a strong, bright mid-day light

Like me the shadow goes to sleep

When I turn off the bed-time light


I've strange, important news for you

You have a hidden shadow, too

Our shadows meet when we shake hands

I guess deep down you always knew


But what use to me's a shadow?

To a child I can explain

My hand makes shadows on the wall

Gone? Back again - I entertain.


-ends-

Please share links to your favourite poems.

Send the links to your favourite family and friends.

My books on Amazon and Lulu have amusing poems, eg Poetry Pets and Pests, which is educational, and Poetry Workbook has a list of poetry patterns so you can write similar structured poems.


Are Mice Nice? Comical poem number 807 by Angela Lansbury

The flats nearby

Troubled by mice

Have set out traps

Will they suffice?


 I have read that

Romans ate mice

Only dormice

Or any mice?


Dormouse. Photo from Wikipedia.

If that is so

Then mice taste nice

A handy meal

At a low price!


You could cook with

White or brown rice

Maybe disguised

Chopped up like dice


On a kebab

Or sandwich slice

Just twice a week

Or even thrice


You don't like that?

Then get a cat

Fussy pussy

Will scare off mice


They'll disappear

In a quick trice

You'll no more fear

To meet those mice.

-ends-

Please follow my blogs on blogspot 

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Share links with your friends.

Check out my books on poetry, etiquette, wedding speeches, quotations, Embarrassing Moments and chapters and poems in anthologies edited by Carolyn Street.

Please share links to your favourite poems.

Send the links to your favourite family and friends.

My books on Amazon and Lulu have amusing poems, eg Poetry Pets and Pests, which is educational, and Poetry Workbook has a list of poetry patterns so you can write similar structured poems.

If you want a signed book, buy online and bring it to a meeting of Harrovians Toastmasters or HOD speakers.

What do you like? Comical poem 806 by Angela Lansbury

 


I like to sing

I like to sew

I  like to learn

Earn, teach what I know


Some like to paint

Others keen cooks

Read share prices

Read romantic books


Some love to swim

Run, jog or walk

Or sing a hymn

They endlessly talk


Some keen on cricket

Some favour football

Some snooze, snore, need sleep

Rest. Relax. Do nothing at all.

-ends-

Please share links to your favourite poems.

Send the links to your favourite family and friends.

My books on Amazon and Lulu have amusing poems, eg Poetry Pets and Pests, which is educational, and Poetry Workbook has a list of poetry patterns so you can write similar structured poems.

Saturday, July 11, 2026

Millions and millions. Comical poem number 805 by Angela Lansbury

Apple blossom on tree. Fox resting on grass. Garden in Hatch End, Pinner, Middlesex, England, London, UK. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Millions of blooms blossom on trees

Millions of blades of green grass

Millions of flowers in the beds

Millions of birds and butterflies pass


Millions of leaves on all the trees

Millions of waves on all the sea

 Millions of years of the trials

Before they perfected sweet me


Millions of stars, millions of cars

Millions of miles, we don't drive far

Millions of grains of sand, salt and sugar

Millions of cells in me, all together


Millions of brain cells, lots of gains

Millions of thoughts make aches and pains

Millions of thoughts, better again

Millions of thoughts, most just the same


Millions of thoughts, future and past

Millions of dreams, but dreams don't last

Millions of thoughts, wonders, and yet

I had one thought, which I forget.

-ends-

Updated with photo and new first verse, on Monday 13th July 2026..

Please share links to your favourite poems.

Send the links to your favourite family and friends.

My books on Amazon and Lulu have amusing poems, eg Poetry Pets and Pests, which is educational, and Poetry Workbook has a list of poetry patterns so you can write similar structured poems.

Friday, July 10, 2026

Moving On. Comical poem 804 by Angela Lansbury

When you know it's time that you were moving on

There's no turning back, you must be strong

It doesn't matter who was right or wrong

If you don't belong together, time for moving on 





There's plenty more fish in the sea

Plenty more flowers for the bee

Plenty more apples on the tree

Someone new for you and someone new for me


No point in looking back

In counting out the things we lack

The things we wish we never said

Or should have said - like unmade cakes inside your head


It's time to go far away, to find new friends

Who never met you, Won't recollect you

Won't stop to ask me what went wrong

Instead they sing a brand new song


So when they ask what brought you here

I'll smile and tell them with good cheer

I wanted something new to do

And I won't think of you.


I won't replay an endless loop

Like picking peas out of a soup

Instead I'll find a brand new group

And see how much I can recoup


And when I see the young teens crying

When elsewhere worse off folk are dying

I shall just feel like replying

They've gone, it's time for moving on.


There's plenty more fish in the sea

Plenty more flowers for the bee

Plenty more apples on the tree

Someone new for you and someone new for me.

-ends-



Tuesday, July 7, 2026

I'm Searching For A Metaphor, Bed-ridden. Comical poem number 803 by Angela Lansbury.

Angela Lansbury in red and white dress by Thai style double beds beside Melia hotel swimming pool, Tenerife, Canary Islands. Photo by Trevor Sharot.

What can I say about this gorgeous, fancy bed?

I have a dictionary of words churning through my mixer head 

I want to inspire, with hopes, visions and dreams

The possible, impossible, what is is and merely seems


I climb every mountain looking for a metaphor

I swim a sea of similes and copy those who wrote before

I reflect and then reject originals which I suspect

Will not endure, and throw them on the floor


I look at pots, at kettles, at black, and red and white

I search through morn, dawn and torn, dark night, white snow and light

I'm happy seeing sunlight, and storms and rain and pain

I hope the night will put things right in spring, forget the years of winter tears sure to come again


I ride a mental horse along the river's course, back to the bubbling source

View the battle which does not stop until I reach the mountaintop

I wait for my ship, train, bus, bike, donkey, camel, plane, which end all pain and bring me joy again

Like a gift list, parcel, birthday song, which lasts so long it makes me strong


Ready to walk with boots or shoes, clad in my clothes of reds and blues

And eat ice cream with friends I meet, along the leafy, shady street

Until at last all words are said, and I can rest my heavy head

End my day my own way, and post four times from my silk-soft bed.

-ends-

The last line in a pun on four poster bed.

Monday, July 6, 2026

Yin and Yang For Every Plan comical poem 802 by Angela Lansbury



 You need yin but also need yang

Yin and yang for every plan

Just as day will follow the night

Watch for wrongs to make things go right


Every project needs risk assess

Even washing then when you dress

Comb your hair, and don't look a mess

Dress your best so you will impress


You need to drink, watch food you eat

The table height, the back of chairs

But give yourself a tiny treat

Exercise, but don't fall down stairs


List good and bad events in reach

Teach troubles in a funny speech

A day when everything goes wrong

Feeds plots for novels or a song


Even if it won't bring you wealth

You cure your health and heal yourself

Although much money has been spent

You're reborn, called resilient.

-ends-

Your troubles make a funny speech

became

Teach troubles in a funny speech

which adds assonance.

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Sunday, July 5, 2026

The Underground comical poem 801 by Angela Lansbury

 

London Underground Railway station, Hyde Park Corner. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

We may be heading underground

But on the way with joy look round

When young, look forward, never back

When old, don't think of what we lack.


The underground is like your mind

With pictures which recall the past

Don't let battles of yesterday

Cloud your mind, battles do not last


Life's journey has a lot of hops

Where other people come and go

And many interesting stops

Which show and tell what you now know.


-ends-

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Tuesday, June 30, 2026

On The Bright Side The Sun Is Shining, comical poem 800 by Angela Lansbury

 




On the bright side, the sun's shining

'though in the long run, life's dying

Forget bald heads, aches, blocked noses

Think parents, kids, fruit, trees, roses


Not your cracking teeth, hammer toes, feet

Cracks on paving stones in the street

The closed down shops, potholes on roads, 

Fruit flies, mosquitos, frogs, and toads


Ancient Egyptians, long before

Peacemakers, who started the war

Headlines in news, heroes, villains, 

Those near and far, millions, billions


Norovirus, or tummy bug

A setback to all those I love

Kept far from me, but don't panic

From your viewpoint, just statistics


My bright blonde hides my grey hairs

On holiday, I fell down stairs

Learn - don't repeat what I have done

I don't phone home, upset my son


When I got home, he saw me, well

I shrugged, while walking and smiling

'That accident ...' but beguiling

Ignoring future we both see


He gasped, 'Oh dear, you fell - again.'

Not a question, it wasn't blame

I won't warn friends, 'Start of the end.'

Just, 'Each day's mixed, more of the same.'


World grows older, hotter, colder

Earthquakes, tsunamis, stop whining

One good day, dine and wine my way

A perfect day, bright sun's shining!

-ends-

I began with whining, changed in to wining. Thought of extending the line to ten syllables to make 'whining to wining'. But felt the poem need more positive words in the last verse, so left it as wining, drinking wine. In that case, but should change to yes, yes wining, rather than suicides but

Cutting each line to eight syllables produced lots of revisions. Finally, I changed lovely day to perfect day.

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Sunday, June 28, 2026

Roses and noses. Comical poem 799 by Angela Lansbury.

 

Garden roses. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright. 

How tall the standard roses grow

The heat wave hit us without warning

I've never seen flowers so tall

Nourishing rain! Or global warming?



They're best picked in the early morn

'though each bloom lasts only a week 

First, with care, cut, kill, each thorn, then

Feel petals soft as baby's cheek


A heady scent, all different

Reach roses, colourful and fun

They paint the garden, glow and flow

New pink grows, seeks life-giving sun.

Standard Roses Towering Above A Car. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

-ends-

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Saturday, June 27, 2026

Trains & Tourists Tootle Around The World.Comical poem 798 by Angela Lansbury


It was trains which made town clocks match their time

Now glass doors stop phones falling on the line

With the passing of time all will be fine

Lifts beside stairs on Elizabeth line


 Modern Singapore, long travelators

Old London still has deep escalators

In St Pancras, a Champagne bar

On long journeys, a dining car


From Watford to Euston and on

From Euston to lively Brixton

Transport museums and tunnel walks

To Wales or Scotland, and historic York

Signs tell you don't put your feet on the seat

Big stations have places where you can meet

See Brunel's statue, lovers, Paddington bear

On long journeys, quiet stories to share


What are those tee-shirts the people are bringing

After football matches the winners are singing

Amusing people to see, hear them speak 

Watch for your stop and don't fall asleep!

-ends-

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I Miss My Train. Comical poem 797 by Angela Lansbury

 

Brixton Station, bridge. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

It's on a bridge above the street

The weird and wonderful people you meet

Home with shopping or out to eat

Saving your shoes, your time, your feet



The map can solve the mystery

The murals teach you history

The bus meets the train, the train the bus

Don't fuss. It's good for all of us


A train is like your grandmother

An old body dressed in fabric that's new

But if it's late, or disappears

You feel your thanks are far too few.

-ends-

The title is, of course, a pun. You miss the train physically by arriving too late at the station or platform. You miss it emotionally, remembering it nostalgically, wishing to see it again.

Friday, June 26, 2026

What You Gain On The Train comical poem 796 by Angela Lansbury

 

Here's the train, your handy train

Scenic in sunshine, shelter in rain

When it's on time we can't complain

Into the city, safe home again


It's nearly always quicker by train

Than, walking, biking or hiking again

You hear it coming, 'though dreadful noise



Seeing trains brings family joys


-ends-

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Thursday, June 25, 2026

People & Shoes Melting In The Heat 795 by Angela Lansbury


Shoes melting in the heat. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

 In London melting in the heat

Myself, my sandals and my feet

I leave black streaks along the floor

Then dice-sized lumps along the street


When my shoes disintegrate

I am aghast, I shall be late

The floor is in a dreadful state

And everybody else must wait.

-ends-

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Monday, June 22, 2026

Our Sea Is Deep comical poem 794 by Angela Lansbury

 


Tenerife. Canary Islands. Photo by Angela Lansbury.

The sea is wide, the sea is deep

To me at mid-day silver-blue

How many secrets does it keep?

Colours and moods may change for you


Crashing white waves mean racing surf

For shops and tourists that's good news

I'd rather sit on solid earth

Drink and watch the sea's changing blues


The palm trees flutter in the breeze

The butterflies fly dipping by

Birds with wide wings glide through the sky

My balcony is bird's eye high


The troubled word seems far away

The deep blue sea, the wide blue sky

I'll treasure my last happy day

Fixed in my mind's best mirror eye.


It's not a sea, it's an ocean

Power like a magic potion

It looks like the world's half unfurled

But big Pacific's half the world.

-ends-

I changed grey blue to the more positive silver blue.


Thursday, June 18, 2026

Later. Comical poem 793 by Angela Lansbury

Watch the watch. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright .


'I promise I'll do it - later,'

Means no-one will get the job done

Later is a mythical land

Where neither good nor bad folk come


Later is like a reminder

But alas it will ever come

Like heaven, all wait for later

Where forgotten deeds will be done


At four you think that later's soon

At six it's myth like life on moon

At eighty you no longer care

Later is neither here nor there


Later is a kind of polite

Way of saying, no, not tonight

If later's what they want to say

I don't mind, I live for today.

-ends-

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Happiness Is Shopping Hopping. Comical poem number 792 by Angela Lansbury

 


Happiness is a smart new hat

Happiness is a new soft dress

Happiness is pretty colours

A big, red ring, bound to impress


Happiness is a cute necklace

Happiness is a heart-shaped ring

What I chose for myself, or you

Free gifts, discounts on anything


Happiness is on holiday

Nothing needs to be done today

Happiness is when you and me

Go with the flow and both agree


I'm happy when they speak English

But smile when I say por favor

I've shown goodwill, I spoke two words

And maybe know two or three more.

-ends-

Written in Tenerife, Canary Islands.


Sunday, June 7, 2026

Volcano you shouldn’t know . Comical poem 791 by Angela Lansbury

 The Canary Islands started life as volcanoes

Like all islands, millions of years ago

So there's no need to panic

When you learn that they're volcanic


Why did I say no need to panic?

In the long run we"re on Titanic

Some like to know. Go with the flow

But others prefer not to know


I must admit with a sigh

That my years are rushing by

I'm no longet keen on hikîng

Driving, walking. Nor mountain biking


My exercise is not taking a lift

I'm sure you smart folk get my drift

"How are you?', friends want to know

I'm oldet than two years ago


A volcano museum on Tenetife

Was free and fun and a relief

A second free exhibit on honey

Wine tasting with cheese took some money


But on La Palma, I must reveal

How their recent volcano makes me feel

When my friends want to look inside -

Only for those who pay a guide


I'll take photos of those I've known

My hotel could be my new home

I said, 'Stay in the hire car, please,’ 


Mount Teide, Tenerife, Canary Islands. Photo by Angela Lansbury.

But he left with the hire car keys.

-ends-


Photo: Memory of Mount Teide  Tenerife, Canary Islands. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.





Saturday, May 30, 2026

Deadlines - Plan B. Comical poem 790 by Angela Lansbury.

  Don't miss deadlines or your lifelines

Sadly I missed my very first

So I was born Caesarian

My delay had not been rehearsed


Our five-year-old learned about time

She demanded a big pink clock

She watches as the hands turn round

Breakfast, lunch, dinner, school, bed, stop



She asked what is a lifeboat for

We don't want to make her panic

No need to tell her of shipwrecks

Rules dating from the Titanic


We tell her you must have plan B

For each eventuality

If your big boat is stuck on rocks

Go home on small boats pulled from blocks


Another deadline passed today

My poem missed it yesterday

So it will not be in a book

But it's on here, dear, if you look.

-ends-

Monday, May 25, 2026

Daddy Long Legs. Comical poem 789 by Angela Lansbury.

 


A fluttering noise gave me a fright

Noise signals something isn't right

Came into our kitchen last night

Something attracted by the light


Insects don't respond to your tears

I have over my many years

Found how to conquer silly fears

You can run, but I choose to be near


You can talk though it doesn't hear

Say, 'Don't be afraid of me, dear

The one thing which you need to know

Is why I opened the nearby window


'I did it hoping you would go

But I'm still taking photos of you

You don't do what I want you to

You do not seem to have a clue


'Go back the way you got inside

Or join others who died inside

How come that you do not know

Your escape is through the window?


'I even opened up the door

Your biggest danger is the floor

Where accidents likely catch you

With a blow or blind accident shoe.'


All my life I looked the other way

Until I researched them today

If only they and I could speak

Alas they only live one week


That Daddy seeks a Mummy mate

I hope that it is not too late

Before it meets its fated fate

And crosses Daddy Long Legs' gate


What use is it to the universe?

It wasn't born to help my verse!

It's eaten by birds, bats or frogs 

I wouldn't feed it to your dogs


It seems to have some legs to spare

As thin as all my shedding hair

It sheds a leg, though never taught

A quick defence so it's not caught


So if you try to grab a leg

That crane fly will shed its leg

And simply pull and fly away

And live to dance another day.

-ends-


Sunday, May 24, 2026

Insects Repelled By Lemon - Tea. Comical poem 788 by Angela Lansbury.

 


When I see insects I don't know

Which of the crowd is friend or foe?

Which moths are fond of eating clothes

Only its friend, the moth God. knows.


The pesky things come in at night

From miles away they see our light 

We open windows for ventilation

And turn into an insect station


A harmless 'daddy longlegs', also more properly called a crane fly. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.


Some small insects have bitten me

They treat me like I'm family

Obliged to give them lunch and tea

A tasty feast, timeless and free


I need to leave more vital tasks

The web gives answers when I ask


I learned a very simple fact

Flower perfume, I thought attracts

Adoring men to me and you

But alas attracts insects too


Insects don't leave when I tell them

I need to scare them off with lemon

Lemons taste sour, and insects learn

One sniff's enough , they won't return.

-ends-

Useful Websites on Daddy Longlegs

https://thenaturenetwork.co.uk/why-the-daddy-long-legs-is-natures-most-misunderstood-flying-nuisance/#google_vignette

Please follow my blogs on travel. Dress of the day, and comical poems. Share with friends and family and colleagues  links to your favourite posts. See my books on Amazon and Lulu.com

Buy them for holiday reading.





Friday, May 22, 2026

There's someone for everyone. Comical poem 787 by Angela Lansbury.

 

 Tissue box with gold circles. Photo by Angela Lansbury.

I'm feeling hot, I've got a cold

I'm feeling young but looking old

Terrified inside, acting bold

I'll praise this rubbish 'til it's sold


There's some buyer for everything

There's some suitor for everyone

You just have to keep searching

To find the one 'til the job's done


Cynthia's mother said, 'Never fight

There's plenty more fish in the sea

Don't claim a right, feel jealousy

There's enough for both you and me.'

-ends-

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Buy them for holiday reading.

Saturday, May 16, 2026

The Good Listener. Comical poem number 786 by Angela Lansbury.

 


Do you feel that you ought to speak

You've said just proverbs all the week

And when you get a chance to say

What you think, you say cliches


It doesn't matter what you do

If great invention's not for you

Everyone needs one who listens

Small neighbours, big politicians


For many speak and just tell lies

No-one says so until he dies

So kudos goes to you and me

Who didn't say, yes I agree


Some are tall and some are small

Some are wall flowers, some are the wall

Some rise, and speak, and shout, then fall

And the wise ones say nothing at all.

-ends-

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Thursday, May 14, 2026

I read a poem to a rose. Comical poem, post 785 by Angela Lansbury.

 

Orange standard rose. London
Photo by Angela Lansbury
 Copyright.


I read a poem to a rose

But what it thought nobody knows

Maybe it thought, 'Is that for me?

I'm the prettiest that can be!


'Please do not read me poems

They take your eyes away

Just sniff and smile and look at me

That's all I have to say


'Do your write poems to daisies?

And dandelions too?

And lupins and the other flowers

Your love for me cannot be true


'You don't really care for roses

You admire the taller trees

It's a good thing I'm not jealous

And I'm easy to please.'


We will never know

If a rose is smart or dumb

There are wicked roses which have thorns

Waiting to prick your thumb


But let us look on the bright side

Be on our dear rose's right side

Petals have their dark and light side

Their perfumed day and night side


A rose, everyone smart knows

Always dresses in her best

Every day, a rose always poses

So photogenic, perfect roses.

-ends-

Poems Are Everywhere. Comical Poem 784 by Angela Lansbury.

I find my poems everywhere.

They seem to hide under my hair.

Each time I sit upon a chair

Each rhyming line begets a pair.


I pick poems like wild flowers

Growing thoughts like April showers

Must stop myself wasting hours

Stacking lines like leaning towers


I've stacks of poems in my head

Bits of them on notes by my bed

For all, new born or wed or dead

I write them down, hope they'll get read


Though fanciful, some parts are true

So they're not plagiarised but new

Each needs one line which sticks like glue

Makes blue days pink, my gift to you.



-ends-

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Wednesday, May 13, 2026

Remember - too late, someone I never met. Comical poem 783 by Angela Lansbury

 


I've had loads of invitations

About somebody who died

I have never ever met them

They have gone out with the tide


I'm sorry friends are sorry

When someone's died or they are ill

It's too late to wish them well

And I don't wish anybody ill


I'd be pleased to hear about them

If retelling brings no stress

I'm sure you can say something good

About their joys and their success


I am reading what is said of them

Will the same apply to me?

Will I live and die differently?

Oh, well. What will be will be.

-ends-

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Tuesday, May 12, 2026

Nurse And Friend. My advice. Comical poem 782 by Angela Lansbury. Notes on Numbering Poems.

 

Photo by Angela Lansbury.


When I'm looking for a good friend

I think, 'Am I a useful friend?;

When I am looking at myself

 I check my words show mental health


When I visit a friend for tea

When a friend comes to visit me

When I'm asked around for dinners

Host and guest, are we both winners?


We take our child around to play

Don't want sad tales of yesterday

We want to eat today, and more

Not tears about hunger before


We're ill and call a hospital

We want to meet a smiling nurse

Not one in tears about a death -

An ambulance, and not a hearse


As parent, nurse, doctor, teacher

Writer, author, mentor, preacher

Our job is to give out good news

Not dwell on the unlucky few


If you call me to call today

My reply reflects what you say

If I can hear your smiling face

I'll rush my smiles round to your place.

-ends-

The numbers on my comical poem posts are useful in several ways.

1 They enable me, and you, to find a poem even if I changed the title.

2 They enable me to search for a recent or early poems.

3 I can compare styles and themes of early and late poems.

4 I can keep numerical track of proportions of themes, eg 20 out of 100 poems are on a particular.

 subject.

5 I can see whether I can publish all my poems in one book, or if a book is 100 poems, or 50, or 25, or 250, or a bumper 500, how many books can I publish, taking into account the printer's limit on pages, the cost to me as self-publisher, and the cost to potential buyers. Am I better off publishing an e-book?

6 I can work out how long it would take to read all my poems to select some for a book, the best ones, or those on a particular theme, assuming a theme is easier to sell.

Sunday, May 10, 2026

Private bedroom and bathroom. Comical poem number 781 by Angela Lansbury



I used to bath, but baths take too much water

More than a shower for parents and daughter

So now I relax in a nice warm shower

And try not to take much more than an hour


Then, warm and clean I can relax

I exercise lying on my back

I count sheep in French or Spanish

Until the sheep race off and vanish


Four-posters for bedsits? I'd love one of those

Discount Dunlopillo's the one which I chose

I'm allergic to feathers, trust what I possess

My duvet's red, like my favourite night dress


When I am asleep I hope none can see

Into the dream places where I'd like to be.

The bedroom's a place for night time privacy

For big secrets known to small pillows and me.

-ends-

11 syllables per line.

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Saturday, May 9, 2026

Back To Bed - Mine's The Best. Comical poem 780 by Angela Lansbury


 


I lay half the day on my comfy bed

Better than a chair, my feet in the air

On my silk pillow case I lay my head

Supposed to smooth wrinkles, and soften hair


The mattress won't say which way I should lay

Nor when I rise or return, where to go

Sometimes it's lumpy, sometimes it's bumpy

When I need soft support, it seems to know.


A child likes to explore, learns to share, loan

'It's mine!', my own, familiar, feels 'at home'

I'm not Picasso nor Shakespeare

But I made this, it's mine, it's here


Your own bed, car, father, mother

Your own chair, house, or dress

It's everybody's favourite

'though you'd like more, your own's the best.

-ends-

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Thursday, May 7, 2026

If only my teeth could speak. Comical poem 779 by Angela Lansbury



 If only my dear teeth could speak

And tell me what they'd like to eat

And warn me when my broken tooth

In truth will send me through the roof


If only teeth would tell the truth

If only molars were willing

To say if ice cream's good for them

Or leads to needing a filling


In fact my teeth do talk to me

Then tell me if food's hot or cold

If something is stuck between

And if I'm starting to look old


My gums don't complain, they're friendly

Although I often neglect them

I take no notice til they bleed

And the dire dentist inspects them


I wish my teeth were pearly white

And they made me look fantastic

Though one girl who had super teeth

Admitted that hers were plastic.

-ends-

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Monday, May 4, 2026

Who Needs A Nearby Place To Grieve? Comical poem 778 by Angela Lansbury.

 Who do we need a place to grieve

A tombstone, monument with names?

Or tee-shirts, tattoos, names on sleeves

Old pictures in new picture frames


Some like to move old dead away

Cemeteries, later move old bones

Cemeteries car parks, parks for play

Hidden, stored on walls, old tombstones


While some move on, gran's gone away

Graves once a year seclude your tears

Whilst others want the dead to stay

Say angels on shoulders calm fears


Some think souls live and will return

Fly past as short-lived butterflies

(Yet not as bugs in rugs nor worms)

Sweet memories when someone dies


We give them little when they live

Spend our money on us instead

Then spend huge sums on wakes and graves

When it's too late and they are dead


A quick death brings one day of pain

The birth and death dates make a frame

New birthdays, weddings aren't the same

But old pix show joys lived again.


And now money they saved is spent

On building a fine monument

A statue, standing, or reclined

In an upstanding frame of mind.

-ends-

Spike Milligan statue and commentary plaque in park in Finchley, north west London. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

I changed the last line of the penultimate verse

from

But photos show joys lived again

to

But old pix show joys lived again.

Photos is a much better word than the horrid neologism (recently new word) pix. But I wanted to clarify that it is photos of old weddings, not photos of new weddings, which revive happy memories.

I added the last verse when I came back to add a photo on Saturday May 9th 2026.

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Sunday, May 3, 2026

That Hat. Comical poem 777 by Angela Lansbury.

See this summer sun hat's wide floppy brim.

I sewed on pink ribbon under my chin. 

I don't want my new hat flying away

On a bike or boat to ruin my day


It could be lifted by a sneaky breeze

If I read, take photos, or a strong sneeze

Where I am going five minutes sewing

Secures my hat for smart outfit showing.
-ends-
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Wednesday, April 29, 2026

Don't Ask Us Why! Comical poem 776 by Angela Lansbury

We never asked why we were born

Why we start young, but end up old

Yet we start timid in sun cream

Then dive, brave the cold, ski, are bold.


As teens, silently wonder why

The old are still there and don't die

Don't ask what's best to do today

But ask where singles holiday


We all like to work from home

Be all alone, yet on the phone

Wear small clothes, cheap, and like that look

To maximize likes on Facebook


The world's so big, yet all in reach

To climb, hike, ski, or surf the sea

To sunbathe on the sandy beach

Where's hot, but cool, free, luxury?



Our son thought he'd save, buy a tent

Astonishing how much he spent

Whilst I, just like a frugal mouse

Decided we should swap our house


We found, like us, they lived in hell

We broke cheap cups, cleaned up the smell

So now at last we broke the spell

Don't ask why we booked a hotel


So now at last, no mystery

Our puzzled days are history

What's cheap is cheap, what's dear is dear

Five star hotel, that's why we're here.


-ends-

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Facts. Our son practised camping by putting up a tent in our garden. 

My husband spent more than the cost of a night in a hotel, and a taxi to a hotel, on  buying a tent, and a  on a sleeping bag, bag liner, hiking boots, torch and most of the contents of the camping shop website.

We did a home swap with a family in the Channel Islands. Packing for a holiday takes time. But clearing your house for a family of four to move in takes longer. You need to pack away valuables and clear space, and leave new matching crockery in sets of four.

Updated lengthened poem and added comments on July 10th 2026.



Sunday, April 26, 2026

Words & Signs Warn On The Bus And Train. Comical poem 775 by Angela Lansbury.


One of the joys of modern life

Robots nag like an alert wife

Phone's to do list says: Mow the grass

In five minutes your bus will pass.


ZOOM

Up pops a message about Zoom

Requesting, 'Ma'am, please join the room,'

The word Ma'am tells me caller's Delhi,

Like Bollywood on the telly


BUS

I won't say, 'No. I'm on a bus.'

I never like to make a fuss

I quickly mute, I have no choice

Can't broadcast bus's robot voice


TRAIN

Then next I'm sitting on a train

With groups I'll never see again

Their clothes boast about where they've been

Who they are, and what sights they're seen.

Sweatshirts promoting a group. Photo by Angela Lansbury.

Roller shoes. Photo by Angela Lansbury.

When not on trains some like to run

On sunny days jogging is fun

I saw roller shoes on that train

Which took me out then home again.

-ends-

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