A Poet's Rapturous rap. Comical poem 821 by Angela Lansbury

 I heard a singer improvise rap

And thought, we poets could do that

Fine minds did that in ancient times

Shout for the deaf, paint for the blind

A paid scribe wrote lovers' letters

Wrote praise of the loved, and sender

Instantly made each thought bettet

Helped urgent borrower, or lender

Even the stupid improvise

When caught out, quickly make up lies

In places where the old folk meet

Alzheimer's use rhymes, and repeat

I do not  need to sing in tune

 I'll get away with moon and June

I do not need to make a band

All that I ask is clap your hands.

-ends-

Noises Tuning Up 738 by Angela Lansbury

The silent house is full of noise

Created round the silent toys

The boiler makes a dreadful thump

A car door slammed and made me jump

The fridge is like an orchestra

The air is filled with ringing

The doctor says its tinnitus

Like deaf Beethoven singing

 

A noise on a chocolate paper

In Greece was just a spider

Maybe a gecko in a shoe

Nocturnal cats have lots to do

In olden days they blamed a ghost

The letter box, the early post

The milkman, an electric car

A distant train, a cow, dog, war

But I rejoice at the world's voice

That I can hear what's near round here

Mechanical and living things

All out of tune, but try to sing

Read my words written on a page

I hear them declaimed on a stage

The songs outside, echo songs inside

My teeth grind like a great train ride.

-ends-

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About Angela Lansbury - my books of poetry

Poetry Pets & Pests

Angela's Alarming Animal poems

Poetry Workbook

 My latest book, Embarrassing Moments, is on Amazon, at a bargain price of well under ten pounds

My books are on Amazon.com, Amazon.co.uk, and Lulu.com

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See my other blogs on Travel, Wine and dine, and Dress of the day Angela. Please share links to your favourite blogs and posts.

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The Eulogy comic poem 505 by Angela Lansbury

 

Robbing Hood, illustration and photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

We're here to praise our darling son💪

Shot by a bad, dastardly one

Our son was always sweet and kind

Gave to the deaf, what he'd robbed from the blind

Although he never was in school 

Self-taught, street-wise, he was no fool

He had a house of guns and knives

His only motive saving lives

He was the most popular of the blokes

All danced with him when he showed them the ropes

His fingerprints showed he'd tightened them

But he'd only meant to frighten them

He'd killed ten people with one blow

A blow can kill, he didn't know

He'd spent time, too long, in detention

For - deeds which we'd rather not mention

The town's filled with his mourning chums

And a long line of single mums

He was a man who had a vision

Of going straight, for one day, when leaving prison

He led a short and happy life

Ten kids, six girlfriends and a wife

His kids will miss what they never had

The perfect, loving, anti-hero Dad.

-ends- 

Robbing Hood is a pun on the character of Robin Hood.

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Hearing Children Running And Screaming

 Hearing Children Running And Screaming

by Angela Lansbury

Small children love to jump and run

They won't stay still, running's more fun

They like to push, scream, splash and shout

They zig zag, bump, fall, leap about

They race and fall, parents don't care

Kids knock you down, they like to share

They do not speak if they can shriek

I'll die or go deaf by next week

Save sanity, observe these rules

Don't live beside an infants' school

Don't read beside a swimming pool

Save hearing, bruised limbs, with these tools.

Remember granny's old wise words

Kids look cute, seen, - not raced, nor heard!

I want to speak but hold my breath

I think their Mum and Dad are deaf.

-ends-

Useful Resources

https://simple.wiktionary.org/wiki/Wiktionary:Mai

https://www.wiki-calendar.com/

About the Author

Angela Lansbury is a travel writer and photographer, author and speaker, fashionista. Please share links to your favourite posts or one or more of the blogs

Books include Wedding Speeches and Toasts (Ward Lock/Cassell)

Quick Quotations (Lulu.com) 

travelwithangelalansbury.blogspot.com

dressofthedayangela.blogspot.com

https://comicpoemsbynutter.blogspot.com/

https://comicpoemsbynutter.blogspot.com/2020/12/how-to-write-christmas-card-poem.html

For one hour online individual tutorials or group workshops contact

annalondon8@gmail.com

Swimming And Looking Forward

Around blue pools, skyscrapers, high
Lift homes like crows' nests to the sky
From their top terrace, looking down
See toy cars crawl though our trim town

I must save this crisp image long
After I'm no longer fit, nor strong
So even were I deaf or blind
This perfect picture fills my mind

I tell myself, in this hour of leisure
I've the power to preserve this fleeting pleasure
Whether on a scaffold or hospital bed
I'll stick this mural in my head

I'll ignore or dump thoughts of future pain
But see bridges and rainbows and blue skies again
Around cool pools, skyscrapers high
Lift me to a viewpoint in the sky.

Angela Lansbury
Poem writee on Aug 1st 2019

Life's Rollercoaster

Life's Rollercoaster

by Angela Lansbury

Life is a rollercoaster
Life has its ups and downs
Most of the people you meet have smiles
But a few are bound to have frowns

Life is what you make it
Most are not both deaf and blind
You can see and hear what you want
And choose what you want to find

Some days you are really well
Other days you find you're ill
You've a choice, use your voice
You can wait, or smile, or take a pill

You can try not to get depressed
You can do everything right
You can exercise and get your rest
And wait for day to follow the night

Smile at every child, woman and man
Be remembered as a sunny soul
Always do the best that you can
Forget bad parts and see the good whole

Every day somebody dies
But thousands more march on
Be silent for a moment
Then rejoin the world's wonderful song

You are a pearl in the necklace
You can be a joy in everyone's day
You can inspire them to carry on
To feel you're near when you're far away

Every mother has fears and hopes
For every child, girl or boy
Be the bad things' antidote
And add to the world's bank of joy

See how you can help others
Then you'll forget your pain
While you are busy helping them
You'll find that you're content again

You can be the teacher
The guardian angel on the shoulder
You can be the preacher
To make the timid feel bolder

You're only here for a short while
When you reach your December
Be the one who raises a smile
Who everyone loves to remember.

The roller coaster goes up and down
Please support your friends
Be the one to help them
And laugh with them 'til the triumph end.

-ends-

Photo credit
Article on rollercoaster in wikipedia. Photo author Mttbme.

My Funny Family (version 7) poem by Angela Lansbury

My Funny Family
by Angela Lansbury

My family is very strange
But they are extremely funny
Some of them are obscenely rich
Won't help us who beg for money

My mother talked for twenty years
But never stopped to pause for breath
Father always smiled and nodded
Nobody noticed he was deaf

Dear Mum didn't think it mattered
After we lost my mother, dear
I asked my widowed Dad, 'Tea? Tea?"
And realised he could not hear.

My uncle played the violin
Better than all, than me or you
Won scholarships, played on cruise ships
A fine player, but stone deaf, too!

Played for radio, BBC
A fine player, not one wrong note
He left me books on lip-reading
He'd been deaf as an old, dead goat.

Poor Uncle's toilet filled with weed
He had no cash for a plumber
Instead he taught one the trumpet
Yet the toilets stank all summer

My son says, "You're the weirdest one
'Cos you write comic poetry!"
I can't see why he thinks I'm odd
My family's more strange than me.

-ends.

 Copyright Angela Lansbury, May 12 2017.

Grammatically it should end more strange than I am but me rhymes. Poet's license.

This Poem Is An Atheist's Gift To Believers

Gift of Religion

by Angela Lansbury

This is my gift to you

My first and last white lie

To tell you I saw heaven

A happy or sad sigh

When I was born

And when I die

This is my gift to you

Which I can leave behind

To paint a better world

From my mind to your mind

A touch to soothe the deaf

A word image for the blind

This is my gift for you

For me it has to use

Take it, I do not need it

You gain, I do not lose

An ornament, an art, a lie

I’m practical, I just need truth

What can I leave to you?

A poem or a song?

What can I leave in ribbons

Like a chocolate, when I’m gone?

A lie or just the truth

Am I right or am I wrong?

You may say, she didn’t mean it

You may say what you please

You may say that heaven is golden bells

And the moon is made of cheese

Just say what makes you happy

Stop, or move on, what will ease

The strangest thing is

When we are truly dead

My words still reach to you

Today’s thoughts from my head

Time, and timeless, still preserved

What we both thought, and read and said

And so I leave to you my friend

A friendship that will never end

I would not take away from you

It’s your choice, what you think is true

You do what you want to do

And I will leave a smile for you.

I showed this to my family

It went round and round

One said that it was funny

One said it was profound

So I’ve earned immortality

An atheist underground.

-ends-

Angela Lansbury, May 2nd 2016. Copyright.

Author’s note: The last word underground is slightly pessimistic, but by happy chance it is humorously ambiguous as it could be taken to mean subversive.

I hope this poem will please believers as well as atheists and agnostics. It might even be used as a witty and consoling funeral poem.

I was inspired by a BBC article about an Italian poet.  The theme of the article was how atheists may work against or with religion, seen like myths as providing comfort and common culture.

The translations convey the meaning but miss the emphasis. In the original, as is often the case in English, as should be the case in the translation, the last word of the sentence is the one emphasised by the writer and left most remembered in every listener's mind, as well as anticipated by some readers with a knowledge of that languages words which rhyme.