Royal-Tea Bears, comic poem 160 by Angela Lansbury

 

The royal Tea Bears lived in fine Tea Town

An impressive large town, not a wee town

Tea town where the best, big Tea Baggs are made

In mirror shop windows proudly displayed

Nearby, not related to fine Tee Town

An impressive large town, not a wee town

Where the best big buttoned Tee Sherts are made 

In mullioned shop windows proudly displayed

Far away from small A town, nicknamed "Ay"

The boss's granny's from Bubble  B town

Only a mile away from smart C town

Whose policemen live in Detour "D-town"

English trains tour to exquisite E town

Package planes take off to filthy "F......" town

Holiday makers go to happy H town

Sports teams train to be great in good G town

I once lived in icy, Island I-town

Dated John and James from jew'lers' J town

Loved large parks and larks in little L town

Knew kangaroos in zoos in cute K town

More the merrier in magic M town

Night and day, pay and play in new N town

Over and out, over in old, odd O town

Please and Peas are famous from poor P town

Queue to see queens in quaint, quiet, Q town

Royal dinners served in rich, red R town

Special swimming galas in smart S town

Veras and Victors abound in V town

Do U turns down to uppity U town

Double brollies sell in W town

Sex is in X rated in middle X town

Why does no-one go to youthful Y town?

Ned and Fred zig-zag to zany Zed town

Chloe and Zoe zoom down to Zee town

Tourist take their tea in Tea town

My Tee shirts are from Tee town - the me town!

Tourist who like tasting rich, royal Tea

Take guided tours of Cyrillic with me

Past London's hospital, the Royal Free

Alphabetical towns with towers, no fee

Alphabets look Russian and Greek to me.

Kids without cares, Dads buy bears, selling shares

Boys buy soft toys, beaming girls twirl curls

Mums play rhythmic music by Middle Sea.

-

By Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Glossary and puns

all Greek to me - mystery/puzzling/erudite

ay - pun on A quality or top quality and ay or aye for yes or agreement

A- A roads, A is top quality, first in the alphabet

B - secondary road, second class

C - tertiary road, third class

brolly - umbrella

D tour and detour

F ... - four letter word, swear word, meaning sex

Middle Sea - pun on musical note Middle C

I - pun on Iceland, the country and the shop, icy I town

J town, pun on Jewish

N - many town are called new or Newcastle, Newton

M for McDonalds

P - mind your Ps and Qs

royal T - pun on royalty, tea with royal seal of approval, by appointment to the royal family 

T - pun on for tea and golf tee

train - pun on taking a train, and training for a sports team

V - Vera is a name and implies truth 

wee - small (word of Scottish origin)

wee-wee - urine

Zed - last letter of the alphabet in the UK

Zee - last letter of the alphabet in the USA

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Picture of bubble tea from Angela Lansbury. copyright.

Sinking feeling Comic poem number 159 by Angela Lansbury also known as Hazel Nutter

 

In a place once peaceful

Machines made loud sounds

Where they dreamt of gold money

Deep, dark underground

Many years onwards

Who would suspect

How the past's actions

Creep up and infect?

We walk with a firm step

We are not afraid

But collections of pictures

Make me dismayed

A place for a camp ground

A picnic, or a toddy

A place for missing, lost, cavers

Found - a place to hide a body ...

An ominous sound

A widening crack, 

Do not turn round

Do not go back!

A feast of gold, or coal

A ghost, sulphur, a lost soul

In a sheltered green valley

A shocking black sinkhole

Hear a one-time blast

It's a ghost from the past

What once was concealed

Will now be revealed

A second die is cast

From the far off hidden past

The paved road's a broken shield

The earth's wound cannot be healed

No more money in the pails

Old white bones tell new tales

The wind blows like a widow's wails

Nature's revenge never fails

Politicians say get cracking

'cause we need the energy

Don't be afraid of fracking

Waiting for the taking, it's free

So let's go dig a hole

In the middle of the city

Cut a mountain in half

The train link ride is pretty

The planet is a garden

Plant an acorn, grow a tree

The earth is sure to pardon

If not for you, it's all for me

It's just a little buttonhole

It's a ripple spreading wealth

It will make the city whole

I'll finance it myself

But deep underground

There's a worrying sound

The earth is rumbling

The trees are tumbling

Not like falling leaves

Which nobody grieves

Everybody dies

Everybody leaves

We have learned from the past

That nothing will last

Time to work, not sit and play

Should have planted yesterday

Tall plants won't be seen by me

Yet each generation plants a tree

Like the emigrant sailing overseas

We plant small acorns and dream of grand trees

We fancy we're immortal

So, from Heaven we'll look down

As if we own the world

Eating fruit, finding truffles underground

What if there's no Heaven?

We'll shrug and move on

When problems we created

Hit others - we're long gone

Just like loved, dear, dead mothers

Ancestors can do no wrong

A sink hole's a real disaster

Which makes a lovely song.

Don't be cruel

Don't be a fool

Just fill the sink hole up

You've a tourist's swimming pool.

-ends-

Sunk Holes - The Sinkhole Song Comic poem 158 by Angela Lansbury - also known as Hazel Nutter

 

In a place once peaceful

There's machine made sound

The ghost of gold money

In the deep, dark underground

The city of Sodom -

Karma said the bible

Before the lawyers

Had thought of libel

A car may sink

In a hole in the road

But the French have built

An underground abode

A hole is a pool 

In Mexico

For a swim

It looks a great place to go.

-ends