The Good News comical poem 615 by Angela Lansbury

When you're in bed and feeling bad

There's not much you can do

Except take pills and pay the bills

Be glad you don't also have the flu 

The very good news is, my friend

That life could be a whole lot worse

You could be in the ambulance

The Black Maria or the hearse

You could have broken one more tooth

Found black ants in the white flour bin

Or found holes in your leaking roof

Burglars! The children let them in

You left ten dogs in a hot car

Put salt in coffee, burned the toast

Somebody else has burned your bra

 Put mushrooms in the Sunday roast

You bought a lovely, brand new house

The worksmanship is shoddy

You moved into a lively city

But don't know anybody

You bought a detective triology

Already guessed the end

You've a thousand likes on Facebook

But I'm your only friend.

-ends- 

Please share links to your favourite poems and posts from this blog and my other blogs on travel, and on dress of the day.

Comic Poems And Songs Are Serious Work (Comic poem 124) by Angela Lansbury

 

I'm trying to do some serious work (10 syllables)

I'm writing a comic poem (8 syllables)

I need to put my talents to good use (10 syllables) 

And not be universe owing (8 syllables)

I promised I'd write a poem each day (10 syllables)

I admit it looks like lying (8 syllables)

Not want of pay made me give up (10)

But no readers. I stopped trying (6)

Compare a poem to a bank account (10)

One might be earning you nothing (8)

But one's potential is a huge amount (10)

Which one is it? I'm still guessing (8)

I could be filing tax, or cook dinner (10)

Cooking's tiring, tax makes me faint (8)

By not writing, I'm a fraud, a sinner (10)

Wasting time, watching drying paint (8)

What's a real job? A doctor or a nurse (10)

 Replies depend on who you ask (8)

What's hard work? Telling jokes? Driving a hearse? 910)

We learn skills, practise, do a task (8)

Today I planned shopping - I made a list (10)

My excuse was it was raining (8)

My train and song spotting skills were not missed (10)

I'm retired, no-one's complaining (8)

I'm asked by life coaches and speech makers (10)

Why are you wasting precious time? (8)

Who are givers, takers, or waste makers? (10)

Artists, where do you draw the line? (8)

Would God say, I gave you another day (10)

What did you do? Threw it away? (8)

Write of your homeland, if you're a native (10)

Write of travels, be creative (8)

Youngsters fail, pretend to be amateurs (10)

Time and doubts pass, then words don't hurt (8)

Authors are word traders, entrepreneurs (10)

Now I'm old, so I'm an expert (8)

I wrote, sang my song, for baby, Ava, (10)

She's wide eyed, pays with a big smile (8)

"Mama, dada! Grandma! Hello - bye-bye!" (10)

I starred, centre stage, life's worthwhile! (8)

-ends-

Written Wednesday evening 30th March 2022.

Revised Thursday morning 31st March 2022.

Copyright Anela Lansbury

Global Warming & Cooling

 

They say the world is warming

That seems a good idea

It's meant to be a warning

I like summer all the year

I've never been a fan of snow

I slip around on ice

I only like my ice in drinks

White as snow? White as rice!

And yet I've read it every day

The news is getting worse 

The dreadful news won't go away

The whole world's in a hearse

The seasides will be sinking

The capitals must move

Whatever were they thinking?

Go with the flow, get in the groove

The timeline is too short, not long

Jakarta's moved already

We now know what we're doing wrong

We must be firm and steady

Romantic Venice will be gone

Bye bye to Amersterdam

In fact the whole of Holland

No - the whole of the Netherlands!

The riverside parts of London

My God - oh what a mess

Calcutta, and the whole of Bangladesh

I'm fanning my distress 

I know it's after we have gone

But for our grandchild's sake

Think of the choices we must make

The action we must take

We have too many people

Waste not, want not, re-sell, don't sell

It's not just me, see the BBC

Yes, check them out as well.

-ends-

Reference

https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Global_warming

About the Author of this blog, Author Angela Lansbury

BIOGRAPHY

Angela Lansbury B A Hons ACG ALB PM5 EH5 DL5 VC5 
The Author of several books, including  Etiquette For Every Occasion. Wedding Speeches & Toasts. How to be the Best Man. Quick Quotations. Who Said What When.

Blogs travelwithangelalansbury.blogspot.com

dressofthedayangela.blogspot.com

translateforfun.blogspot.com

Braddell Heights Advanced Toastmasters Speakers Club Vice President Public Relations (VPPR), Previous President

Join BHA 1st Wednesday 7pm and 3rd Saturday 2 pm Singapore time 

Vice President Public Relations (VP PR) of Tampines Changkat Advanced;

Secretary of weekly online Singapore International Dynamic Toastmasters Speakers’ Club;

Member and past president of Harrovians toastmasters club, UK; Past member of HOD Toastmasters, London. Past member in Singapore of: Toastmasters Club of Singapore (TCS); Tiarel; and Senja Cashew.

More details from Toastmasters International find a club.

Regular attendee at annual Swanwick Writers’ School, England.

Regular attendee at annual Writers’ Holiday, Wales.

Contributor to poetry readings, and after tea courses on: Speaking On Radio To Promote Books; and Plots And Character.

Winner of many club and area speaking contests in the UK and Singapore.

Language advisor to Empire Toastmasters club in Indonesia.

Language and speech workshops in Singapore.

Speaker on radio and TV in England, Scotland, the USA, and Australia.

Compiler of a school course on public speaking for teachers to prepare pupils for school open days with attending ceremonies before government ministers, Singapore.

Former member of Harrow Writers’ Circle, London, and two writing groups in Singapore.

Angela is on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Pinterest, Twitter. She would be delighted to link up with new friends.

I  also have more posts in my blog on comic poems.

 Please share links to your favourite posts.

Talk To Whom? Listen To Me!

 

Angela Lansbury <annalondon8@gmail.com>	00:53 (10 hours ago)
to me

A thousand people read my blog

And treat it like the word of God

The source of health, the source of wealth

'til they convert to something else

I make them vow that they'll come back 

Before I send them on their way

Yes, I've true words which must be heard

I'm never short of things to say

You can write your hopes on the train 

And pray to all gods on the plane

Your hope that you will land again

Pray to clouds for more or less rain

If your room, money, wife or life

Is muddled, mangled, in a mess

Why should the universe send help

It shrugs and won't care more, or less

You can talk to the sun, send mail

Write to Santa, sing to the sky 

Run down the street, stop passers-by 

And ask them why the end is nigh

Do no exaggerate your fate

Nor underestimate life's wait

Powerful praise can raise dim days

So do not curse the universe

In the tropics, see no seasons

Proves nothing's done, for good reasons

Then when I'm dead just talk to me

I promise I won't disagree

Every parent's a great teacher

Passing lies like a good preacher

All wise books, websites and pages

Knock down sages of past ages

Don't ask why? Why not? Do not ask

But every day, do each small task

Small troubles? Darling, you'll be fine

Big ones? Not me - call 999 

I shout to God, 'Don't let me die!'

I don't expect a quick reply

Just because I'm in a tizzy

Doesn't mean karma's not busy

Then when I'm dotty, deaf and blind

What can I hope to leave behind?

Framed photos all around the home

A message on a mobile phone

If I want immortality

My best hope's pretty poetry

To leave last words, witty, pearly

One must write one's last words early

Please, when I'm dead send me huge hugs

Warm wishes wrapped in Chinese rugs

Smile at the poster in my hearse:

Goodbye dear Queen of nonsense verse.

By now you have guessed my intent

To make sure you leave here content

Now's the time to state my mission

End works with a happy vision

If there were heaven, I'd be sat

With orchids on a golden throne

Eating bagels and smoked salmon

Smiling like a Cheshire cat.

-ends-

About the author

Angela Lansbury B A Hons ACG ALB PM5 EH5 DL5 VC5 
The Author of several books, including  Etiquette For Every Occasion. Wedding Speeches & Toasts. How to be the Best Man. Quick Quotations. Who Said What When.

Blogs travelwithangelalansbury.blogspot.com

dressofthedayangela.blogspot.com

translateforfun.blogspot.com

Braddell Heights Advanced Toastmasters Speakers Club Vice President Public Relations (VPPR), Previous President

Join BHA 1st Wednesday 7pm and 3rd Saturday 2 pm Singapore time 

Vice President Public Relations (VP PR) of Tampines Changkat Advanced;

Secretary of weekly online Singapore International Dynamic Toastmasters Speakers’ Club;

Member and past president of Harrovians toastmasters club, UK; Past member of HOD Toastmasters, London. Past member in Singapore of: Toastmasters Club of Singapore (TCS); Tiarel; and Senja Cashew.

More details from Toastmasters International find a club.

Regular attendee at annual Swanwick Writers’ School, England.

Regular attendee at annual Writers’ Holiday, Wales.

Contributor to poetry readings, and after tea courses on: Speaking On Radio To Promote Books; and Plots And Character.

Winner of many club and area speaking contests in the UK and Singapore.

Language advisor to Empire Toastmasters club in Indonesia.

Language and speech workshops in Singapore.

Speaker on radio and TV in England, Scotland, the USA, and Australia.

Compiler of a school course on public speaking for teachers to prepare pupils for school open days with attending ceremonies before government ministers, Singapore.

Former member of Harrow Writers’ Circle, London, and two writing groups in Singapore.

Angela is on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Pinterest, Twitter. She would be delighted to link up with new friends.

 Please share links to your favourite posts.

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