Trains & Tourists Tootle Around The World.Comical poem 798 by Angela Lansbury

It was trains which made town clocks match their time

Now glass doors stop phones falling on the line

With the passing of time all will be fine

Lifts beside stairs on Elizabeth line

 Modern Singapore, long travelators

Old London still has deep escalators

In St Pancras, a Champagne bar

On long journeys, a dining car

From Watford to Euston and on

From Euston to lively Brixton

Transport museums and tunnel walks

To Wales or Scotland, and historic York

Signs tell you don't put your feet on the seat

Big stations have places where you can meet

See Brunel's statue, lovers, Paddington bear

On long journeys, quiet stories to share

What are those tee-shirts the people are bringing

After football matches the winners are singing

Amusing people to see, hear them speak 

Watch for your stop and don't fall asleep!

-ends-

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People & Shoes Melting In The Heat 795 by Angela Lansbury

Shoes melting in the heat. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

 In London melting in the heat

Myself, my sandals and my feet

I leave black streaks along the floor

Then dice-sized lumps along the street

When my shoes disintegrate

I am aghast, I shall be late

The floor is in a dreadful state

And everybody else must wait.

-ends-

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Why Does The Garden Grow? Comical poem 581 by Angela Lansbury

 Tell us, why does the garden grow

I though I knew, but now I know

To make sure the retired don't shirk

Give us, retired, gardeners work

Some turn to crochet, knitting, beads

While others race to pull out weeks

We keenly watch for cuttings, seeds

Give sweet pea plants the drink each needs

Although we're told all bad things pass

We stick up signs, Keep off the grass

We build wind chimes to make kids laugh

Then sternly warn, stay on the path

When winter's gone, or summer's through

Find new essential things to do

Like cleaning moss from plants and stairs

And do repairs to musical chairs

A fallen fence, a crumbling wall

Busy God cannot do it all

He sends the rain but then will moan

'Just do the rest, folks - on your own!'

We check if posted vines survive

And if not thrive, just stay alive

To tell the truth, I don't tell lies

Most plants I see are a surprise

And though our old apple tree's rotten

We find forget-me-nots forgotten

See treats for eyes, my soul, your nose

Wild, keenly climbing, short-lived rose.

Grasshopper on orange rose, Hatch End, London, England. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

-ends-

Please share links to your favourite poems in the posts on my blogs.

Student Teaches Student Teacher - black comic poem 185 by Angela Lansbury

😊

Years ago I was a student teacher

In a London East End girl's grammar school

My job was teaching them basic grammar

Spelling, writing and fun poetry rules

Each day's challenge caused me stress

Each day's lesson plan a mess

What subject could I get them to write on

Something they knew, which wouldn't take long?

 

All my schoolday's thoughts were wrong

Teachers worry all the night

Pupils have an easy time

The subject set, all you do is write

Into the lesson, what to do?

Truly I didn't have a clue

But this is one thing that I knew

Everyone thinks I'd rather be you

I saw blank and worried faces

How I wished we could change places

Teaching, responsibility

I bet that they all envied me

 

Family - they might not have a sister

Family - they might not have a brother

So I set an easy task which all could do

Write us a short poem on, 'My mother'

Most of them found this subject easy

Sample rhymes, they smiled, it was exciting

Twenty-nine out of thirty happy girls

Busily started muttering, writing

But one girl in the back, statue-stiff sat

Her face blank, motionless, just a slight frown

She ignored her sheet of lined white paper

No title, no word had been written down?

!

I raced back to ask my supervisor

'She won't write at all, what ought I to do?'

🔇

The English head said, 'Leave her alone, dear,

In the break, I'll explain it all to you.'

But in the break, the teacher was busy

Looking back, I wish I'd left her alone

I insisted, 'Please - you must tell me why!'

Frankly, friends, I'd much rather not have known

'Last night that teenage girl went to her home

In the hall the mother was lying dead

We're sure the no good lover had stabbed her

The girl put her little brother to bed

'In the morning she dressed him for his school

She walked him to his school, which was quite near

She came and asked to see the headmistress

But couldn't find the words to speak when here

She gave us the doorkey, we went to see

No answer, knock, enter, what happened was clear

She and her brother will stay at their schools

We hope that she'll finish her final year

'We have a social worker on the case

She'll spend the day finding them a new home

But, as for writing about mother

Until she's ready, best - leave her alone ...'

The bell rang, I was off to my next class

Why do I still think about time long past

You have to wait until you reach the stage 

When images make words flow to the page

Maybe, reader (listener,) I shouldn't upset you

With this memory dredged from my far past

Yet, it still troubles me, I must over write

Hide thoughts which otherwise linger and last

***

Why should we upset readers or list'ners

About a sad story of a stranger

There's no point in us being serious

Unless we are warning of real danger

Comic poetry's flippant and silly 

The lesson is happy, the lesson is clear

Humour pushes sad thoughts away

I want you to be happy, my dear

My name's easy, Angela Lansbury

I do hope that you'll kindly remember me

I like attention, but being happy

So, mostly I write comic poetry

It's not serious, and it's not all sad

It should make you laugh, end up feeling glad

So that after a drumming while

We all see lots of dancing, swaying smiles

I want you, my new friends, to be happy

And smile whenever you think about me

That's why I strive all day, and half the night

To read and write, light, comic poetry.

-ends-

Copyright 2023 April Friday 14th

Please share links to your favourit poems.

The link to share this poem is

https://comicpoemsbynutter.blogspot.com/2023/04/student-teacher.html

Helpful Hint

What if you don't have a spellchecker and grammar checker in a blog, but you do have one in another medium, such as Powerpoint or Word? You compose your text in the place with the spell checker and grammar checker. Correct your draft. Then copy the corrected text into its final location.

If you want to read your poetry on Zoom or perform it live, put the poems onto slides which can be projected. That helps people who cannot speak English as a first language. The backup of written text is also useful if there are problems with projection such as the microphone or Zoom.

What's more it is professional. And entertaining, if you can illustrate with comical illustrations, or pretty borders. Or even animation.

My favourite type - mocrophone

Global Warming & Cooling

 

They say the world is warming

That seems a good idea

It's meant to be a warning

I like summer all the year

I've never been a fan of snow

I slip around on ice

I only like my ice in drinks

White as snow? White as rice!

And yet I've read it every day

The news is getting worse 

The dreadful news won't go away

The whole world's in a hearse

The seasides will be sinking

The capitals must move

Whatever were they thinking?

Go with the flow, get in the groove

The timeline is too short, not long

Jakarta's moved already

We now know what we're doing wrong

We must be firm and steady

Romantic Venice will be gone

Bye bye to Amersterdam

In fact the whole of Holland

No - the whole of the Netherlands!

The riverside parts of London

My God - oh what a mess

Calcutta, and the whole of Bangladesh

I'm fanning my distress 

I know it's after we have gone

But for our grandchild's sake

Think of the choices we must make

The action we must take

We have too many people

Waste not, want not, re-sell, don't sell

It's not just me, see the BBC

Yes, check them out as well.

-ends-

Reference

https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Global_warming

About the Author of this blog, Author Angela Lansbury

BIOGRAPHY

Angela Lansbury B A Hons ACG ALB PM5 EH5 DL5 VC5 
The Author of several books, including  Etiquette For Every Occasion. Wedding Speeches & Toasts. How to be the Best Man. Quick Quotations. Who Said What When.

Blogs travelwithangelalansbury.blogspot.com

dressofthedayangela.blogspot.com

translateforfun.blogspot.com

Braddell Heights Advanced Toastmasters Speakers Club Vice President Public Relations (VPPR), Previous President

Join BHA 1st Wednesday 7pm and 3rd Saturday 2 pm Singapore time 

Vice President Public Relations (VP PR) of Tampines Changkat Advanced;

Secretary of weekly online Singapore International Dynamic Toastmasters Speakers’ Club;

Member and past president of Harrovians toastmasters club, UK; Past member of HOD Toastmasters, London. Past member in Singapore of: Toastmasters Club of Singapore (TCS); Tiarel; and Senja Cashew.

More details from Toastmasters International find a club.

Regular attendee at annual Swanwick Writers’ School, England.

Regular attendee at annual Writers’ Holiday, Wales.

Contributor to poetry readings, and after tea courses on: Speaking On Radio To Promote Books; and Plots And Character.

Winner of many club and area speaking contests in the UK and Singapore.

Language advisor to Empire Toastmasters club in Indonesia.

Language and speech workshops in Singapore.

Speaker on radio and TV in England, Scotland, the USA, and Australia.

Compiler of a school course on public speaking for teachers to prepare pupils for school open days with attending ceremonies before government ministers, Singapore.

Former member of Harrow Writers’ Circle, London, and two writing groups in Singapore.

Angela is on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Pinterest, Twitter. She would be delighted to link up with new friends.

I  also have more posts in my blog on comic poems.

 Please share links to your favourite posts.

Benjamin Franklin poem by Angela Lansbury

Bust of Franklin in Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, USA

Benjamin Franklin poem
by Angela Lansbury

"I'm a Brit in America, what must I see?
Lots of things which fascinate me
A historic city, where should tourists being?
At the exhibition of Benjamin Franklin!

"He said 'early to bed and early to rise'
Makes shops wealthy, tourists happy and wise
As Philadelphia's buildings grew higher and higher
He invented lighting conductors to prevent fires ..."

"The building I'm in is made safer by him
The building you're in is made safer by him
People worldwide are indebted to him
Don't you want to know more about Benjamin Franklin?"

"He invented bifocals, I don't know how
I'm indebted to him, I'm using them now
He did so much for you and me
Come to Philadelphia - so much new to see!

He was also in London, a well-travelled man
Visit his home in England, soon if you can.
"Early to bed ...," that's what he would say
I repeat his words to myself every day.

Copyright Angela Lansbury, travel writer and photographer, poet, performer, speaker, English teacher.

PS
You can see how I came to write this poem, in a post today 12 May 2017, on my travel blog on blogger.com.
Please share a link to my posts on blog on travel and blog on poetry.

http://comicpoemsbynutter.blogspot.co.uk/2017/05/packing-list-poem. (My poem on packing)
https://www.visittheusa.com
http://www.visitphilly.com
http://www.visitphilly.com/museums-attractions/philadelphia/benjamin-franklin-museum/ (USA museum in Philadelphia)
http://www.benjaminfranklinhouse.org/site/sections/ (Benjamin Franklin house in London, England)

Flying Home See 'Si' Sea

Flying Home (Singapore to London)

by Angela Lansbury

See - the sky’s blue; the sunshine’s gold

The clouds look soft, fluffy, bright white.

Watched comic films, dramas, warm, coldI

Yet slept sound, upright, half the night

Cross new Europe, Poland, not Spain

“Si!” Languages ‘oui’ understand

Back to face bills, take pills again -

Rain waters rose, pines, waved wheat land

Water glasses clink like di’monds

Omelette, like perfume, wafts through air

Smilers wheel breakfast, offer choice

Shut eyes, dream, rest - stretch - soon be there!

Houses like toys, stand in neat rows

Cute cars race past puffed tiny trains

Drop down! Below, maybe hail, snows

Who cares - clunk, bump - we’re home again!

Angela Lansbury

May 2016

Poet’s notes: 

Inspired by a Facebook post enthusing about flying back to London.

I wrote the poem about flying over Spain, then a member of my family said that you don't fly over France or Spain from Singapore but over Poland.

Puns on sea and si, oui and we.

I changed roses to rose to save a syllable, which leaves the word rose ambiguous between a noun and the past tense of a verb, no longer meaning roses in English gardens but evoking flood water from the river or sea which rises or rose.

I changed cute cars which is alliterative to allow an extra syllable for puffed tiny trains which is both visual, puffing train, and ambiguous, the puffed or exhausted train, stops to let cars overtake. 

The scenes in the films are serious and comic, warm and cold. So is the temperature change in the plane from warm when boarding in Singapore to cold when arriving in London, England.Then I reinserted cute and deleted small, since I already had toys and tiny to convey the idea of small.  I thought of ‘houses like toy teeth, tombstones,’ or ‘neat milk teeth rows’ but I left the sentence unchanged to flow. The clunk is the dropping of the undercarriage; the bump is the plane landing.

In May when we flew back reports in the BBC news were of snow in Scotland the Midlands and even London, where snow did not settle but hailstones fell. Previous weeks had seen a heatwave in London. At the time of writing, May 10 2016, another heatwave.

Waved wheat land. Land is a bit dull. What you see from windows above as you fly over England (or travel by train) is undulating land (unlike the miles of flat land in Holland or what I saw for several days in central America in the nineteen sixties when I took a Greyhound bus) and in England you see leaves and trees and crops waving in the wind