Swimming Lesson
by Angela Lansbury
In Singapore I go to swim
In a giant blue swimming pool
Surrounded by tall green palm trees
And two long white lists of pool rules
They’ve covered almost everything
Which they are never permitting
No diving, food, drinks, nor footwear
No pets, balls, boards, boats, no - spitting!
***
I hear a mother calling, loud
So I turn my curious head
She says the last word two more times
I missed, heard, wrote down what she said:
“Why you so absent-minded, la!
Your towel robe, look, now all wet
You take it off before you swim
Why you, stupid, always forget?
“Why you so absent-minded, la?
Why I always have to watch you
Why you so absent-minded, la?
I busy, got so much to do
“Why you so absent-minded, la?
Why you not like your big brother?
What will you do when you grow up?
When no more father, no mother!
“Why I choose have two children, la?
Two children, see, work is double
Why I choose have two children, la!
Two always mean trouble double.”
My mother said the same to me
It must be fifty years ago
I thought my problems were unique
But they were not, as now I know.
-ends
copyright Angela Lansbury 3rd April 2016, Sunday
Author’s note
Two Poems
This could be two separate poems but you need the first verse to set the scene and the lists of pool rules and mother’s rules are both ‘common sense’ which is not common to all children, but is common to many adults, most mothers and some swimming instructors.
Spitting
The writer overhears a swimming lesson but learns a lesson about parenthood.
Spitting - old joke. The listener may expect the rhyme to be another impolite word starting with s and ending with ing. The expectation is produced and underlined by the delay before saying the rhyming word, suggesting the author has changed their mind, or that the rude word is only in the mind of the listener. Spitting is both a suitable word (and one used in the list of rules) and a euphemism understood by adults but not necessarily by children.
Structure
I started with the introduction: who, what, where, when, why.
Then conversation. I overheard only the line about the wet towel.
The boy in the lesson was probably the brother.
Singlish
The conversation language is Singlish. I heard la and added the other common Singlish phrases. For example, it’s mean which should be it means. Singlish is English as a second language, you could call it a dialect. Singlish mixes phrases directly translated from Mandarin, the majority language as the majority of the citizens are of Chinese extraction and Mandarin is the common Chinese language taught in schools and used for communication, although many speak other southern dialects such as Cantonese (language of Hong Kong) and Hokkien and Hakka.
Finally conclusion in both senses, end and lesson learned, the moral.
Revisions
Change verse one from tall green to peaceful.
Should it end I now know or now I know?
I now know adds to the surprise by putting the modifier now nearer the end. However, now I know is better rhythmically.
On the other hand to change the rhythm at the end would emphasise the word now.
Just read it aloud and see what sounds most natural to you.
