Things I'd Rather Not Remember comical poem number 544 by Angela Lansbury

 I tried to help a lady

Why had Alzheimer's, to remember

I asked, 'Do you know if it is March or November?'

She laughed and shrugged

'There's lots of things I'd rather not remember'

I could not understand why 

She wanted to resist

The help which I was offering

So I worked through my list

'Do you remember, dear

The first time you were kissed?'

She said, 'There are a lot of things I'd rather not remember!'

I had no choice, it was my job, I had to persist

I asked, "Do you remember your first love?'

She sighed, 'I'd rather not remember

Frankly, there were lots of boys, whose memory's not missed.'

'But what about the sex? And your marriage in September?'

She shook her head, 'There's lots of things, I'd rather forget

You think I tell tall stories - you ain't heard nothing yet!'

She said, 'I wish I hadn't kept a diary

Bills, and lawyers' letters

My sister - and our court case

I'd rather forget her!

'I told you there are lots of things I'd rather not remember!'

I changed the subject. I said, 'You know we're heading for a snowy December?'

She said, 'I've already told you, I'd rather not remember.'

-ends-

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Picture of Three Wide Monkeys from Auckland Museum, New Zealand, in Wikipedia, under Three wise monkeys.

From A Loved One In Heaven comic poem 387 by Angela Lansbury Postscript Poem 388

 Sometimes I feel sad that I've lost my love

But I hear  them laughing up above

They say: I'm getting bored up here

So I thought I'd wave to you, my dear,

I've seen the world from high in the sky

I've seen the planets, clouds and snow

I've said hello to friends that I know

Pharoahs, Elvises and Hitlers all smiled hello

I thought I'd send you a butterfly

A ladybird and a falling leaf

It isn't much but a little sign

For those with lots or a little belief

Escaping from the winter chills

Are gardens full of daffodils

To help climb mountains of Wills and bills

Flowers cure ills with signs of goodwill

Just a little something to bring relief

I'm getting bored up here alone

Far from the loved ones so long known

I hope you've seen the signs I've shown

I know you'll join me before too long

Meanwhile for the others please stay strong

Water the plants and try to get along

Think, a lifetime of love, sing a favourite song.

Please stop doubting, please stop shouting

Up here at last I have found peace

I shake my head and tut at arguments beneath

I don't need towers, flowers or a wreath 

Just keep busy down below

Dusting the dust, or shovelling up soft snow

Think of me smiling up above

Like a hand in a glove, a liftime of love.

When an hour has passed

When a day has passed

When a week, then a year

You'll find peace at last

After the funeral

Don't dwell on what's gone

The world like the traffic is moving on

Enjoy a steak, a lettuce leaf or scone

It's no use asking me to come back

Friends and family can give what you lack

You put away the white and the black

Drink some water, have a small snack

Smile at the memory

Of when we were together

I'm smiling from above

In every kind of weather.

-ends-

Postcript Poem 388

Writing poetry does speed up 

when you stop running gthough the alphabet

 trying to find rhymes 

and instead just google 'rhymes with' 

and the ending of the word on the last line

All of a sudden the poem is done

And you keep writing rhymes, not intended

Like this one..

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Another Mother's Day in the USA is on the second Sunday in May.

PS Does the spelling of daffodill defeat you. Two (effing) effs and one of everything else.

Ladybird in the US ladybug.

Photo of Angela Lansbury, travel writer and author of 20 books, with daffodils. Selfie taken in March 2024. Copyright.

I've got bills to pay

I've got bills to pay
comic song by Angela Lansbury

I've got bills to pay
Yes, I've got bills to pay
There's only one thing I can say
Honey, I've got bills to pay

You're not the kind romantics sigh on
But you're the one that I rely on
Because I've got bills to pay
Yes, I've got bills to pay

You ask me if I care
Yes, I've got a lot to share
Seeing you has made my day
Because I've got bills to pay

I love the way you do accounts
And you earn such large amounts
And you pass some crumbs my way
When I've got lots of bills to pay

Yes, what gives me great delight
And what helps me sleep at night
Is the lovely things you say
When I've got bills to pay

They ask what I see in you
And they ask me what you do
The only thing that I can say
Is you earn a lot of pay

There's a lot that I could say
About the way we pass the day
But what's important is you help
When I've got bills to pay.

I would love to reward you

With a gold coin or two

Instead I've chocolate gold coins

I hope that that will do.
-ends-
Words composed whilst listening to the song Lay The Blanket On The Ground sung by Billo Jo Spears. I was working on the principle that you make a song more immediate and original if you simply take comedy and song themes from observation of life.
Copyright Angela Lansbury, 2017