Big Thread, Small Needle, comic poem number 363 by Angela Lansbury

 Somewhere in far off China

There's a factory with a beadle

Whose job is to defend

The man who makes sewing needles

Those litle sewing needles

With the tiny eye

Too small for anyone to thread

God alone knows why

One day I'll write a letter

Explaining my complaint

Or maybe I'll do better

In person with poisoned paint

I'll shout and rant, in English

Make holes big enough for thread!

Chase him with sewing scissors

Until one of us is dead.

I think I'll write to someone

About the Nobel prize

It should go to someone

Who makes needles with big eyes

Maybe we'll run all day

Maybe we'll run all night

Or another twenty years

Until we prove who's right.

And I'll go down in history

As pioneering, wise

The courageous sewer

Who fought for bigger eyes.

Maybe I made a mistake

Disregard what I said

Another's worse, or equally bad

Blame the maker of the thread

But I should end positive

Sewers please take heed, all

Who should win the nobel prize

The make of the self-threading needle

Self threading needle. Photo by Angela Lansbury

It solves all the problems

It sets the world to right

I found one, lost in my sewing box

My day's now filled with delight.

-ends-

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Pre-schooler And The Puppy comic poem number 362

 Sweetie's aunty bought a puppy

Asked Swetie to meet her

Told Sweetie, 'Don't be afraid

Would you like to greet her?

'When you want to make a friend

You can give them a treat

If you don't have a thought or gift

You give them something nice to eat!'

So Sweetie gave the dog a treat

The dog is now her friend

The dog and Sweetie, both are happy

Thaat's how all good stories end.

But I must add a moral

About how to run one's life

About how to end a quarrel

Anf fix the whole world's strife

Sweetie's learned to give and take

And how to make a friend

How friendships mend before they break

The trend's find love to send and in the end.

-ends-

Copyright Angela Lansbury.'

Sweetie' is my grandchild. I changed her name to Swetie to make the poem more universal, and to give privacy and security to the child.

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Holiday With The Elephant comic poem 361 by Angela Lansbury

Elephant statue in Sunwing hotel, Thailand. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Grand-daughter's more than two years old

In parks she climbs, slides down the slide

If she is tired they take the car

She falls asleep while they ride 

Sweetie a had a holiday

She went away to Thailand

She had a super duper time

Which her parents, both, had planned

They went to see an elephant

That was really grand

It was big and tame and gray

Afterwards she played on the sand

Elephants in Asia

Are big and wide and tall

But compared to Africa

An Asian elephant is small

She still thought of the elephant

She said, Let's take it home to our place

Her Dad considered, shook his head

It won't fit in your little suitcase

But back home she has a toy

An elephant like a rocking horse

A toy which brings her lots of joy

Four legs, a trunk, and gray, of course

Sweetie has an elephant toy

Sees an elephant at a zoo

Reads about it in a book

She\s seen a real one, too! .

-ends-

Copyright Angela Lansbury December 25th 2023.

She is my grandchild.

Hello, Santa, Ho, ho, ho, comic poem 360 by Angela Lansbury

 Santa's in the shopping mall

Santa in the grotto

Nowadays you have to pay

I wonder what's his motto?

Santa's sleigh isin the high street

Singing and ask for money

So he can give to others

Don't you think that's funny?

You don't tell kids it's make believe

In school or in a church

Don't say it's Mum and Dad who love you

They will leave you in the lurch

I don't know what a Iurch is

But we wear our Santa hats

We don't believe but party

Like the geese we're gettig fat

Fancy Dress at Tanglin Club, Singapore.

HOD toastmasters International club, Chantal, bilingual in French and English, wearing a santa hat, Angela Lansbury in a Xmas jumper. Sent from Chantal. Photo from Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

 We wear our Xmas jumpers

The Americans say sweaters

You can buy one in Asda

And read the ho ho letters

Is it wrong to wear a symbol

Who's got rights to green and red?

A pagan, season symbol

A red hat upon my head

Let's just enjoy the great goodwill

Let's not think too much about it

Worrying might make you ill

So don't worry and don't doubt it.

Christmas is the season

Of presents, sales, and cost

Santa is the symbol

Of goodwill he is the boss

A pagan symbol, dark green holly

Americans opt for candy canes

Oh, well, might was well by jolly

Joyeux anniversaire again..

-ends-

Moving Out, Moving On comic poem 359 by Angela Lansbury

What is in all those 200 boxes?

Eight years of living here and more before

There's ours, and mine, and his, and whose is this?

Moving, insurance, storage, cost us dear

I know that the right word should be dearly

Dear is an adjective, dearly's a verb, 

Clearly the word, but no time for grammar

Container leaves, LaLa courier van's heard

We've more to pack, our motorbike gets lunch

Sushi eaten sitting on a suitcase

We've more cardboard storage boxes to fill

Lined up outside our former now locked place

Where have your lovely bookcases gone?

The new renter's agent, smiling, stops, asks

I wish we could have been in touch with her

Maybe for friendly win-win deals or tasks

We paid to have new shelves towed, thrown away

I wish we'd had time to sell or leave them

We'd one month to cancel bills, pack, and go

Could not sell nor save the landfill from them

We've now moved in a serviced apartment

Busy with goodbyes and minor matters

We paid for a large place with a kitchen

Clean and neat 'til filled with all our clutter

We have to throw half six boxes away

Going home on a plane with three cases

Rescued my water jar from lobby niche!

(But later left milk in the hotel fridge!)

Three more hours packing on Cashew landing

Keep thinking, hoping, we've nearly done it

We are still packing, sealing, cardboard cases

Front door keys gone, but I need a toilet

Luckily curious residents pass

See suitcases piled in the downstairs hall

They stop to ask, 'Moving?' I answer, 'Yes.

May I use your toilet! Thanks!' 'Not at all."

I have to take off my shoes at their door

Protect from dirt their clean, cool, white tiled floor

I might not do this next year in Europe

But I know it's this way in Singapore

Their shoe rack has a handy seat on top

You sit to take off, or put on your shoes

Every day I travel I learn new ways

Some special, new, smart things to buy and choose

I just made brand new friends, hello, goodbye

Brief pleasures ease the pain of moving out

Pool, coconut palms, cockroaches, all end

We'll make new friends in the new place, no doubt.

-ends-

Copyright Angela Lansbury 2023. Please share links to your favourite poems.

Reincarnated Birds comic poem 358 by Angela Lansbury

 

If I were reincarnated as a bird

I think that would be quite absurd

If my husband came back as a cats

That's ground for divorce -  what about that?

-ends-

Copyright Angela Lansbury

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Beautiful But Bothersome Birds, comical poem 357 by Angela Lansbury

As I walked down the pretty, potholed street

I heard a bird's pretty, irritating tweet

Like an orchestra's tuning up squeak

A nearby man burped meet and greet 

A nightingale's famed for its song

It sings so-so, don't get me wrong

But when a bird repeats the same old song

Dawn to dusk, every minute, that's too long

Short-sighted, I enjoy the view

Don't see the litter on the mountain

Hear the pleasant tinkling fountain

Don't see dead fish pond, nor dead leaf fountain.

A city girl, I save in summer sales

Rejoicing I paid five cents less

Whilst others die on deadly mountain trails

Called city search folk in costly distress

I stared in wonder as a child

Now I'm a cynic about the wild

Yet love to travel the world's great scenes

In daydreams based on laptop screens. 

I hope you will forgive me please

I dream of falling coounuts, leaves, and trees

And, alas, even more absurd

A morning without a chorus of birds.

-ends-

Copyright Angela Lansbury. 

Please share links to your favourite posts and poems.

I can compose a draft of a poem in my head whilst walking or swimming first thing in the day, before starting the day's tasks. I can write a draft of the poem on my phone whilst waiting for breakfast with family.

Train comic poem 356 by Angela Lansbury

Here we are

On the train

Going around

And back again

Better than walking in the rain

Lots to be said for an underground train.

-ends-

Angela Lansbury comic poem. Copyright.

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Coffee comic poem 355 by Angela Lansbury

  When you start to cough

It means you are dry

So have some water

Yes, give it a try

When you are tired

Make yourself coffee

Invigorating

Off you go, lovely

Some like drinking tea

Don't start with whiskey

That is not for me

I stick to coffee

When I have a cough

It won't bother me

How to ward it off?

Just drink some coffee.

-ends-

Copyright. Please do not copy the poem, but instead share the link. Thank you.

Memories Good and Bad comic poem 354 by Angela Lansbury

 Cashew Heights in Singapore. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

After I have left Singapore

I'll have a host of memories

Throw out the old, make room for more

Remember good, bad, how it is

I'll speak only of what was good

Will I remember sunny days?

Or fool myself that it was cool

In air con, stuck indoors by haze

Ignore the cockroach on the floor

Nothing worse than a cockroach, dead

Ignore peeled plaster, mouldy shoes

It moves! I take back what I said

While I pack up, I feel so sad

But we have found a remedy

Think of the bad things and be glad

I'll fool the world whilst fooling me

Then later I'll speak of it well

Whilst not regretting what has gone

Have many happy tales to tell

Feign equally glad where I've gone.

-ends-

Soon a Sonnet. How do I publish my poetry? Comic poem, a poet dreams of publishing Post 353 by Angela Lansbury

Soon a Sonnet

I can create a couplet

A couplet is two lines

So I can end a sonnet

I've written couplets many times

I can write a verse

Three verses start a sonnet

So often I rehearse

Three verses, a couple, done it!

 

A  good friend's relative wanted to know.

1 Does your poetry have a theme?

2 Who is the audience?

3 Are the poems of a regular length and do you have enough for one book, or a series?

4 Do you want to 

perform,

 publish on the web, 

make ebooks, 

print books, 

get status as a poet, 

meet other poets, 

leave records for your family, 

earn money, 

get feedback on poems https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-12693021/Pro-organizer-closet-hack-baby-hangers.html

find a publisher

get testimonials?

A famous quotation says you make more money teaching poetry writing than publishing poetry.

Where to look

Fcebook

Instagram

Tiktok

bookshops

public libraries

You can perform every day and if you only sell one copy that is 360 a year. 

You can sponsor your own poetry prize.

You can enter contests in the hope of gaining a financial prize or credentials.

Writing events and other events take place every year.

Hotels have poets or writers in residence.

Countries have appointed poets.

You can write advertising jingles.

You can writing poems for greeting cards. 

You can edit a book of poems, an anthology, for a charity, putting your own poem first.

You can turn a poem into a song and perform for free in restaurants.

You can run sessions on reading or writing poetry in schools and colleges. they may forbid you to sell to the students. They might not pay. However, I read poems to a class in a school in London and they had no budget for teachers but from their book budget they bought one or two of my poetry books.

If you self-publish remember to donate a copy to the national library, so your book can be found, and kept forever to immortalize you.

You need an ISBN number which identifies the publisher, title, author,  so that the public can give it to the bookshops, and the bookshops can search for your book. 

Several websites run comparisons of self-publishing.

Avoid vanity publishing which takes a huge amount of money, does not editing, publishes no books, or charges you for a lot of books you have to store and cannot sell. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-12693021/Pro-organizer-closet-hack-baby-hangers.html

Smaller books are easier to carry around, unless you can easily transport by bicycle or car, bus, train, or taxi.

When speaking at an event, have a copy of your book, or at least a flyer, with a call to action, buy my book, get it signed. Have the price displayed, ideally with a discount for buy now or buy two.

Check online what sells, other best selling authors for their subject, title, publisher, price, credentials, testimonials.

End every newsletter or blog post with a call to action

My books

Wnting Poetry For Fun

Poetry Workbook

The Poet & The Publisher comic poem 353 by Angela Lansbury

A poet dreams of publishing, 

Turn poems into songs and sing.

To che is paying you, have another buy a copy of the book and see if you get paid. If not, query it.

When you change your bank details, remember to tell the websites so that the money is credited to you.

You may need to pay tax on the money you earned online.

See Amazon books and Lulu 

https://www.lulu.com/shop/angela-lansbury/poetry-workshop/ebook/product-17517371.html?page=1&pageSize=4

Quick Couplet comic poem 352 by Angela Lansbury

 

The important thing which I've been taught

When you've lots to do, keep things short.

-ends-

Angela Lansbury copyright November 2nd 2023

Move! Comic poem number 351 by Angela Lansbury

We've been sitting in a groove

But now alas we're on the move

We might need a moving van

We stay in one place when we can

Now we need a packing case

We might need a storage place

We have to calculate the cost

And worry what might get lost

Now I envy the small snail

Which drags its home

Up the side of a pail

It's moving system cannot fail

A bit like living in a tent

Where you don't have to pay the rent

When you want to, get up and go

And smile at people you don't know

Who knows where our next move ends?

It's up to us to make new friends.

The worst thing is, I must say

How much we have to throw away!

=ends-. 

Giant snail in Ubud, Bali, more details from Wikipedia

Copyright 2023 November 1st

If I Were You, Fellow Traveller, comic poem number 350 by Angela Lansbury

 If I were you

I would speak Chinese

And not waste time

Saying thank you and please.

If I were the king

I'd make everyone speak the King's English

I'd ban Korean, and Greek

Bad Grammar, Creole, Russian, Vietnamese and Singlish. 

On second thoughts

We would learn Esperanto in school

An international language

Would be such a handy tool.

If I were you all the buses

And Sundays newspapers would be free

But f I were you

I would not be me

If I were a bee

I would make flavoured honey

Give beehives to every gardener and farmer

We'd all make lots more money

If I were a bird

I'd sing in tune, and parrot every word

Teacher's lessons repeated, re-heard

If I were not a bird-brained bird

If I were a horse

I would run fast of course

And neigh 'til I was hoarse

If I were an internet, animated, 3D horse

If I were a cat

I'd sleep on the mat

Catch mice as cat food, save money on that

If I were a cat

If I were a cloud

I could not laugh out loud

I'm sure it's not allowed

If you are a digital cloud

If I were a tree

How odd that would be

Much more animated than me

If I were overprinted on a 3D tree

If I were a fish

I'd swim in the pond or sea

Then be preserved in a car key ring

How lucky I am that I'm me.

Two colour suitcase in red and blue block colours. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

If I made travel goods

And make them all block colours

To go with matching clothes

Yes, I really would

If we had to start again

Maybe we'd all be men

All cocks and no hens

Pack unisex clothes, if we had to start again

Lastly, if I were you

That would never do

You know that it is true

For I'm me, and you are you

If you were in this room

And not just on Zoom

You could stand on the balcony

And watch tropical flowers bloom

Travel websites, now we've thought about it

Always tell the truth, I know you'll never doubt it

The museums closes Mondays, but on the web we travel far

Today I travel online, and love things the way they are.

-ends-

As the old Irish jokes goes, when asked the way, a bystander replied, 'If I were you, I wouldn't start from here.'

If I Were You comic poem 349 by Angela Lansbury

Dear, if I were you

Then where would you be?

For if I were you

I could not be me

You'd have to be me!

If a butterfly

And I fluttered by

You would ask me why

If I were a bee

I would make honey

My boss the farmer

Would make more money

If I were a bird

I'd not say a word

No thoughts would be heard

If I were a bird

If I were a horse

I'd run fast, of course

Neigh 'til I was hoarse

If I were a horse

If I were a cat

I'd sleep on the mat

Not care about that

If I were a cat

If I were a cloud

I'd not laugh out loud

That is not allowed

If you are a cloud

If I were a tree

How odd that would be

I could not be me

If I were a tree

If we were all fish

In ponds, streams, or sea

Non-swimmers can't be

I'm lucky I'm me.

Now let's start again

Pretend we're all men

All cocks but no hens

Don't let's start again

Last, if I were you

That would never do

You know that it's true

I'm me, and you're you

Let's think about it

You'll never doubt it

Don't take thoughts too far!

Leave things like they are!

-ends-

Photo Angela Lansbury in butterfly pattern caftan.

Please share links to your favourite poems.

A Pantoum Has Repeated Lines comic verse 348 by Angela Lansbury

 

A pantoum has repeated lines

You start and end it with line one

It saves the poet lots of time

It\s easy, looks smart, lots of fun.

You starts and end it with line one

Lines two and four in the next verse

It's like a wave, start and be brave

You need a strong line like a curse

Lines two and four in the next verse 

End with four verses, made from three

You need a strong line like a curse

It's easy friends, don't you agree?

End with four verses, made from three

It's easy, looks smart, it's good fun

It's easy friends, don't you agree

You start and end it with line one.

-ends-

Please save, bookmark, and share links with your favourite friends.

A little seed comic poem Pantoum 347 by Angela Lansbury

 

A little seed grew a flower

A little acorn grew a tree

Over time an oak tree's bower

Was the grand view our street could see

A little acron grew a tree

Higher and higher over time

A place where squirrels built their nests

And boys with ladders and ropes climb

Higher and higher over time

A place for birds, a lure for cats

And boys with ladders and ropes climb

Rooks, parakeets, owls, maybe bats

A place for birds, a lure for cats

Until one day a giant storm

Rooks, parakeets, owls, maybe bats 

Scattered to earth fearing some harm

Until one day a giant storm

Over time an oak tree's bower

Scattered to earth fearing some harm

A little seed grew a flower,

-ends-

I have a sample pantoum and the rhyming scheme in my book  POETRY WORKSHOP which you can buy from Lulu or Amazon.

I need to reprint the book and add that Victor Hugo who revived the Pantoum was the author of Les Miserables.

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Winter Stops What Went Before - Malay Style Pantoum comic poem 346 by Angela Lansbury

Pantoum 

Winter stops what went before

Too much snow, nowhere to go

Stopped Napoleon, stopped the war

Good in the end, now we know

Too much snow, nowhere to go

Sun means long days, people in streets

Good in the end now we know

On the internet we meet

Sun means long days, people in streets

While for summer days we're pining

On the internet we meet

All clouds have a silver lining

While for summer days we're pining

Snow stopped Napoleon stopped war

All clouds have a silver lining

Winter stops what went before.

-ends-

Useful Website

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pantun

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A Pantoum Shouting In The Room comic poem number 345 by Angela Lansbury

 I think I'll write a short pantoum

It's easy with a lot of rhyme

Easy recall, write, lifts the gloom

Fine when you do not have much time

It's easy with a lot of rhyme\

It's also a quick one to read

fine when you do not have much time

The poem grows, just plant the seed

It's also a quick one to read

One verse's last line in the next

The poem grows just plant the seed

So simple, you won't be perplexed

It's soothing to the mind and eyes

It's also a quick one to read

And yet you should have some surprise 

The poem grows just plant the seed

It's also a quick one to read

I think I'll write a short pantoum.

The poem grows, needs a good seed

East ti recall, lifts the gloom

...

I think I'll write a short pantoum.

This could be written by an internet bot

Easy recall, write, lifts the gloom.

I'm glad to tell you that it's not.

-ends-

Useful Websites

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pantun

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3tOrXbJEMk

Please share links to this posts and your other favourite posts.

Angela with magnifying glass. Photo by Angela Lansbury. copyright.

Pantoum on Sleeping and Siesta comic poem 344 by Angela Lansbury

 I want to work

But my eyes shut

I should not shirk

Stuck in a rut

But my eyes shut

I jerk awake

Stuck in a rut

Woke at daybreak

I jerk awake

I do my best

Woke at daybreak

I need some rest

I do my best

Fight thoughts that keep

I need some rest

I need to sleep

Fight thoughts that keep

Me up since dawn

I need to sleep

Don't speak, just yawn

Me up since dawn

Snooze through daylight

Don't speak just yawn

I'll sleep at night

Snooze through daylight

I should not shirk

I'll sleep at night

I want to work.

-ends-

Useful Websites

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pantun

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pantoum

Please share links to your favourite poems

Fight thoughts that keep me from siesta

Do not want to miss the fiesta.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3tOrXbJEMk

A French Villanelle - translated, comic poem 343 by Angela Lansbury

 French poetry forms include the 12 line dizain, the complicated long sestina, the simple rondel and the musical 19 line villanelle.

The first verse is just 3 lines. The first and last rhymes rhyme. 

The middle line rhymes with lines in  later verses.

A villanelle  has 19 lines. But line one is repeated at lines 6, 12 and 18. Line 3 is repeated as lines 9 and 15 and 19.

 It can be humorous or ironic, or tragic, or spooky. 

Today I composed one in French.

Cuisine Français

1 Moi, j'aime bien un rendez-vous  

2 Ou on essaye cuisine Français

3 Bien sur, pour moi, et toujours tu

4 Et tout le monde peut envier nous

5 Pour changer on mange Anglais

6  Moi, j'aime bien un rendez-vous

7 Les choses bien cuit, and jamais cru

8 Peut-etre on parle Franglais

9  Bien sur, pour moi, et toujours tu

10  Recettes ancient, quelques fois neu

11 Pres de la mer, vue de la baie

12  Moi, j'aime bien un rendez-vous

13 Un vin blanc et un vin doux

14 Sur on pont ou sur un quay

15  Bien sur, ce'est moi, et toujours tu

16 Moi, j'aime bien un rendez-vous

17 En Mars, Avril, encore en Mai

18  Moi, j'aime bien un rendez-vous

19  Bien sur, ce'est moi, et toujours tu

I typed out numbers 1 to 19. I composed my first line and copied it to the lines 6, 12 and 18. 

I made a rhyme for line 3, and copied it to 9, 15 and 19. 

If you cannot find a cedilla (the teil under the letter c) copy the word Francais from Wikipedia, change the font (the A symbol far left top of your Blogspot screen) to Times new Roman, or your font, which you can identify by clicking on another word. failing all else, change all the fonts in your blog post to the same font so that the new word matches the font used for the other words.

Glossary

Avril - April

bien - well (adverb)

blanc - white

changer - to change

cru - raw/uncooked food

cuisine - cookery/style or nationality of cookery

doux - soft or sweet wine

French - English

j'aime - I like

Mai - May

Mars - March

mer - sea

moi - me

rendez-vous - meeting (literally render yourself  - there/at a place)

toujours - always (literally all days)

tu (you (second person singular)

un - a/one

vin - wine

English - French

always - toujours

(to) change - changer

one - un (number one) on (impersonal one person)

April - Avril

March - Mars

May - mai

me - moi

sea - sea

sweet (wine) - doux

uncooked food - cru

you - tu / vous

well - bien

Useful Websites

Please share links to your favourite poems

April is the American National Poetry month.

Spanish-English poetry books reviewed in

https://www.latinobookreview.com/10-bilingual-poetry-books-to-read-during-national-poetry-month.html

English, Spanish, Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese etc on Amazon bilingual book search for children

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=bilingual+books+for+children&i=stripbook

Escape Into This Poem comic poem number 342 by Angela Lansbury

 

When the world is full of heartbreak

You're obsessed by the tragic news

Take care of yourself, take a break

If you can rest, then you can choose

Do you still need to be alert

To dangers lurking all around

Terrorists who are far away

Dead  insects, litter on the ground

You need to eat and drink and stop

To bathe and shop, rest you deserve

So you return to life refreshed

To fight your nerves with zest and verve

Yesterday's peace was a blessing

Today's loss shows values and cost.

Recall times of joy and laughter

Treasure for the bad times after

Remember those you loved and lost

And honour them with fulsome praise

Let their memory bless the world

Like the radiant sun warms chill days.

Remember kind words loved ones spoke

Envisage how they smile and laugh

Remember every joy, voice, joke

Their half life - fill  the other half

What is strong action you can take

To end the world's tragic heartbreak?

Just take a break, wear hats, bake cake

Recite a poem for escape. 

-ends