The God Of The Garden. Comical poem number 869 by Comic Angela Lansbury.

 I am the God of the Garden

I am the wise one who creates

I plant trees to shelter from breeze

Which start so small but grow too great

I'm the smug God of the Garden

But over years made two mistakes

You use spades when the earth hardens

Spend too much time on my garden

I plant bulbs for flowers in spring

I planted almost everything

All the seeds, but none of the weeds

Vibrant red apples Fall will bring

Orange roses in front garden of Hatch End. Photo by Angela Lansbury. copyright.

I plant flowers for birds and bees

I laid paths, a low wall of brick

Roses, bushes, fences and trees

Pear grow too slow, cypress too quick

The neighbours' hole helped send hedgehogs

Parrakeets preen, green hiding frog

Tennis ball, litter - dropped by fox

Birds, animals, lost cat, stray dog

First I was glad to see the fox

Next I was glad to see the cat

The lawn had puzzling big brown holes

I was not glad to glimpse the rat.

Yesterday hot, but today not

Today is cold, if truth be told

Today I am staying snug indoors

Sweeping garden mud off the floors.

-ends-

Please share links to your favourite poems.

Don't Ask Us Why! Comical poem 776 by Angela Lansbury

We never asked why we were born

Why we start young, but end up old

Yet we start timid in sun cream

Then dive, brave the cold, ski, are bold.

As teens, silently wonder why

The old are still there and don't die

Don't ask what's best to do today

But ask where singles holiday

We all like to work from home

Be all alone, yet on the phone

Wear small clothes, cheap, and like that look

To maximize likes on Facebook

The world's so big, yet all in reach

To climb, hike, ski, or surf the sea

To sunbathe on the sandy beach

Where's hot, but cool, free, luxury?

Our son thought he'd save, buy a tent

Astonishing how much he spent

Whilst I, just like a frugal mouse

Decided we should swap our house

We found, like us, they lived in hell

We broke cheap cups, cleaned up the smell

So now at last we broke the spell

Don't ask why we booked a hotel

So now at last, no mystery

Our puzzled days are history

What's cheap is cheap, what's dear is dear

Five star hotel, that's why we're here.

-ends-

Please share links to your favourite poems.

Facts. Our son practised camping by putting up a tent in our garden. 

My husband spent more than the cost of a night in a hotel, and a taxi to a hotel, on  buying a tent, and a  on a sleeping bag, bag liner, hiking boots, torch and most of the contents of the camping shop website.

We did a home swap with a family in the Channel Islands. Packing for a holiday takes time. But clearing your house for a family of four to move in takes longer. You need to pack away valuables and clear space, and leave new matching crockery in sets of four.

Updated lengthened poem and added comments on July 10th 2026.

You Must Decide. Comical poem 756 by Angela Lansbury.

In every life there is some strife

Rehearse, decide which way to go

Agree or fight for all your life

You take a ride, choose who to know

Today I heard my neighbour died

We must admit life could be worse

We sent condolences and sighed

Glad weren't not there inside the hearse

We have survived most of our friends

The bad news is we all grow old

Hope for peaceful, warm, happy ends

It's worse to die early of cold.

-ends-

Some people think it is irreverent to joke or dress up for a funeral. But others feel the need to joke to counteract depression in order to cope.

Please follow me, read my blogs on comical poetry with Hazel Nutter, travel with Angela Lansbury, Dress of the Day Angela, and share links to your favourite posts.

My books on travel, poetry and poetry structure and writing poetry, humour, and wedding etiquette and quotations are on Amazon. Have a look. Buy one or two. 

From Young To Old by Angela Lansbury

You run so fast from young to old
You run so fast from hot to cold
You run so fast from cold to hot
From yes I can to I cannot

Fast learn the skill of one who can
Watch folks fast change from woman to man
If you keep busy every day
How fast your life will pass away

You run so fast from cold to hot
From I remember to I forgot
You run so fast from rival to friend
You run so fast from start to end

You run so fast from hot to cold
You run so fast from young to old.

- ends-
Copyright Angela Lansbury

Friday 17 January 2020.