AI Challenges Comical poem 847 by Angela Lansbury.

 

Querty keyboard, photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

There's such a fuss about AI

Typing, and books, they, too, were new

I wonder why such an outcry

But sad to say I have a clue

When you are faced with something new

At first you don't know what to do

Challenges big, benefits few

But mobile phones now stick like glue

I love AI and join the queue

But who wrote this, me, it or you?

If I'd briefed it, said what to do

I'd share the credit, that is true.

-ends-

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Night Without Light. Comical Poem 846 by Angela Lansbury

 I knew the time was three a.m.

Everything was dark again

When I wake at night and everything's dark

Darker than trees in a closed park

Darker than streets without any lights

Darker than moonless, cloud-free nights

Darker than oceans of endless deep

Darker than nights of dreamless sleep

So dark that all birds and cats are asleep

Even emails and whatsapp are scared to bleep

Somewhere out there the hiding stars

Like clouds, work done, have all gone home

Leaving me here, all alone

What to wear tomorrow? I can't decide

Every useful thought has died

Even the luminous shoes are hiding

So dark I can't see a single dress

But the lack of light banishes distress

Because everything matches, what could I lack?

My perfect wardrobe's all matching black

All's black as coal in a coal-black sack

The files and socks, the silent clock

But I can tell it's 3 am

Because my black sheets call me back again

I looked for good illustrations

About my poem on black night

I like to end text with happy thoughts

You can't see pictures - they're all white.

Next day in the morning

I can see  that light is dawning

I still need to put on a light

I love the light, so bright and white

At night I'm thankful for the moon

But when the day comes I love the sun

I like the candle which I rolled

Electric light extends day's fun.

-ends-

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Extended with the last two verses on Tuesday September 1st 2026.

I rolled the candle at the Headstone event on bank holiday Monday, the previous day.

I have added it as a separate poem.

Easy German Words With Memory Aids poem 845 by Angela Lansbury

 Flag of the international language, Interlingua. From Wikipedia.

Now German sounds like English

Italian sounds like Spanish

And Latin sounds like Greek

Although some old words vanish

Brand names bring them back

To remind us of words we lack

A gurtel is a girdle

A krawatte is a tie

So many words like English

Have you ever wondered why?

We have words which come from Latin

And words which come from Greek

And the French say le weekend

What a helpful way to speak

Some words are international

I'm sure you know them well

There's computer, and taxi

And menu, whisky, and hotel

Interlingua is a language

Made of words which are well known

But Esperanto sticks to simple rules

Is widely spoken, better known

I want to be bilingual

So I practise every day

At least I can understand and nod

On my next holiday.

-ends-

Gurtel - belt (like girdle)

die Krawette - tie (tie die, die Krawatte; pronounced like cravat, but written with a w like wursht sausage)

Schal - scarf / like shawl

English - German

belt (like girdle) - Gurtel

scarf / like shawl - Schal

 tie (tie die, die Krawatte; pronounced like cravat, but written with a w like wursht sausage) die Krawette 

Useful Websites On International Words

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interlingua

ends-

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Going Back, The Good Old Days Don't Look The Same. Comical Poem 844 by Angela Lansbury.

I go back, good old days have gone

Babies are men, life has moved on

The shops have changed, staff rearranged

Paths motorways, are not the same

The elderly have all passed on

Those teeny cute wild flowers gone

Small houses all doubled in size

That 'stupid' child's now worldly-wise

Dahlias like sunflowers when you're small 

Are gardens buried in concrete

The small cafe has gone away

Italians - kebabs in each street

The teens have married and grown fat

The Dads have all gone bald and old

The teens are wearing caps not hats

No skiing, it's no longer cold

Acorns tall trees, or jungles wild

And yet, some things are better now

The Satnav takes me to the town

I'm never lost with new know how

Fresh fruit - oranges. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

The supermarket offers me

Fresh fruit all seasons from afar

Trikes are replaced by bikes for hire

Maps, languages are on the wire

So going back is not the same

Summers are warmer, not wetter

In truth, I should praise and not blame

On balance, my life now's better.

-ends-

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Strike Struck Home. Comical poem no 843 by Angela Lansbury.

 

For school and work we need fast trains

Where we can read or learn or talk

Business trips, holidays - need planes

Most places are too far to walk

Because our cities aren't designed

So everyone can walk to shops

In Singapore they have a plan

Shops on corners, under each block

In London we have not created

Cities with shops we need built near

No future plans, we're outdated

There ought to be changes, it's clear

Singapore has driverless trains

And glass walls keep you off the track

Their world's drawn so everyone gains

Once you've seen that, you won't turn back

In London I sit, shake my head

And dream of flower bridges, arches

Think how London could move, instead

Like Singapore, where they ban marches

But in our chaotic culture

Anyone can make a puncture

Wreck the city with a fracture

Damaging the infrastructure

Our transport worker went on strike

Rode to the doctor's on his bike

The doctor's sign read, 'Stuck at home

Sorry, this week you're on your own.'

His children could not go to school

At last, he said, 'I am no fool

Misled by leader who's a jerk

So I'll vote, next week, back to work.'

-ends-

Rain's Good For The Garden. Comical poem 842 by Angela Lansbury

The rain is good for the garden

I'm glad it rained during the night

It was still raining this morning

Heavy wine was brought in daylight

The driver told me, 'It's raining!'

'It's good for the garden,' I said

'Good - for the garden,' he agreed

A laugh, and good thought in his head

I'm glad that the drought has ended

A good dose of rain's what lawns need

Though some of the plants have survived

We've grown a strange six-foot weed

The Great Mullein. Planted itself in our back garden in London during the drought of 2026. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

What is its secret? Please tell me

Did it steal the water from grass?

Is it something that someone can sell me?

Never mind, now the worst is past

Grass turned brown in London in hot August 2026. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Today I was glad to see rain

Though the grass is still not yet green

I shall never again complain

Because rain's what colours life's scene.

-ends-

Learning Languages. Comical Poem No 841 by Angela Lansbury.

 I have been learning German

Think and say Deutsch when you speak

I've learned a thousand words this year

That's more than one a week

One new word a day's three hundred

Allowing none on holidays

Being lazy, tired, or busy

Or having a bolshy day

I lay awake at night

Thinking what to say

But often lack a vital word

Or one word has run away

I'm feeling very smug and proud

Enough to mutter words, not loud

Just think of all the time I take

To speak with only one mistake

I'm still perplexed by die and das

The system's failed me, I suspect

But I don't like to make a fuss

Because I'm not yet perfeckt.

-ends-

The English spelling is perfect and the German spelling of the same word is perfekt.

  Where can you learn and practise speaking German? 

Flag of Germany

Flag of Austria

Flag of Switzerland

You can use German in Germany, Austria and German-speaking parts of Switzerland.  Also Luxembourg, Liechtenstein, and parts of Belgium and Italy.

Flag of Luxembourg.

Flag of Liechtenstein.

-ends-

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Let's Send Back The Elgin Marbles. Comical Poem 840 by Angela Lansbury.

Elgin. From Wikipedia. Public Domain.

 Let's send back the Elgin Marbles

Then I'm sure we'll stay close friends

Close down museums, use AI

Create a 3D happy end

We've got far too many statues

Tall town hall columns, big boring busts

Basements where unseen things store dust

We'll send some back, all, if we must

Put packets on a plane or train

Container ships which sail that way

As for post, packing, insurance

I'm sure the Greeks will gladly pay

If they're keen to take old marbles

They'd like enterprising old Greeks

We'll close British Greek restaurants

Done and dusted in just six weeks

Return retsina, rice in vine leaves

We can give it all back to Greece

We can employ our unemployed

As museum and shop police

After we've sorted out Athens

Let's have a look at crumbling Rome

We've too many pre-loved columns

Recycle, send broken ones home

We don't need old Roman villas

We don't need old Hadrian's wall

As for checking health and safety

I'm sure it won't comply at all

I'm sorry to chuck out pizza

The world's kids will miss their ice cream

Dad's spaghetti, Mum's prosecco 

Cappuccino, gelato scene 

I sat on Tesco's wooden bench

Thought, after Greece, and Italy

Return words and foods that are French

Rewriting menus is a wrench

Instead of croissants, we'll have crescents

Not chocolatine, chokky bun

Hazel nut cake and chestnutine

Creative and a lot of fun

Instead of big, sweet baklava

Puff pastry and British honey

Not Champagne, English sparkling wine

I'm sure we'd make lots more money

You heard surprising words I spoke

I was serious, not funny

I've given it a lot of thought

Wrote through the night, 'til it's sunny

For get inclusive, abusive past, rewrite the future

Be modern, make things bright and right

Let's just promote past English Kings

With not one foreign thing in sight

Yes, let's send back the Elgin marbles

Plan more demands, rivals, false friends

But, have we really thought this through?

Where will racist, insular thoughts end?

-ends-

For get with a gap was a typo but I liked it and left it.

My first draft read: I'm sure we'll all stay friends, but I wasn't sure all would, so I changed it to the ironic, some will all stay friends. 

I really did write this in the middle of the night. About 4.30 a.m. for an hour. So next morning at10.30 a.m. I am counting syllables. Cut a syllable by changing or chopping out a word in one line. Adding a word in the next. Work in progress. 1.20 pm, still revising.

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Your Greatest Enemy. Comical poem 839 by Angela Lansbury.

 

 Raid Insect Spray and Stingoes Bite Spray. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Sometimes your greatest enemy

Is something small you did not see

Which sneaked up on you in the night

And left behind a nasty bite

It strikes the poor, bourgeois and rich

You feel a twitch and then an itch

Things went so well, now life's a bitch

Now every other plan is ditched

Smothered in lemon, wrapped up tight

I do not sleep a wink all night

Stalk like a cat, hide like a mouse

You have to leave your haunted house

When something is out to harm us

Better wear winter pyjamas

Forget about the miniskirt

Try floor length skirt and long-sleeved shirt

You feel so bad you want to die

Try not to cry but simply sigh

You call on friends who wonder why

They can only see one eye

Don't ask to be a millionaire

Just pray no nits found in my hair

I'm dreaming of that happy day

When insects and bites go away.

I now recall what went before

To fight each bite and win this war

To launch attack with insect spray

And make those blighters fly away

Sometimes your greatest enemy 

Is something small you cannot see

When this torment comes to an end

I'll call the universe my friend.

-ends-

I put Comical Poem 839 online titled Your Greatest Enemy. Is that too negative? Should I change the title to 'Your Hidden Enemy'? Escaping Your Greatest Enemy? Or leave it succinct?

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Strange Senses; Sweet Smells. Comical poem 838 by Angela Lansbury

 I feel soft carpet on the floor

I feel soft towels, dry, and damp

I clasp hard handles on each door

Watch light cast shadows from the lamp

I hear the hum of traffic noise

Gulp down refreshing cups of water

I see shelves of dolls, big bears, toys

I hear bird song, far, joyful, laughter

Breathe in, aromas fill the room

Lavender, a pale pink spray

Musk, sweet jasmine, strong perfume

One day will all this go away?

No! Yet one day we'll all pass on

We will not sniff, nor touch, nor feel

It will go on, but I'll be gone

Yet what I see now seems so real

Rose in my garden, Hatch End. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Some say slow down, others hurry

I use my eyes, nose, teeth, and toes, 

Some say stay calm; others worry

Life's brief, real, sniff this lovely rose.

-ends-

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Now You've Turned Five. Comical poem 837 by Angela Lansbury.

 

Birthday candles. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Now you've reached three, passed four, turned five

Gran's job's still, keep tots alive

Don't race down high streets, I've a plan

You walk by me, and hold my hand

You must not dart across the street

You're big enough to control feet

You can't fight a big, loud lorry

He will win and we'll be sorry

Run as you like around the park

Climb up the slide and push the swing

But when we're by a busy road

That's totally a diff'rent thing

My job's to see you be a teen

Even when grown grumpy and mean

Then you can play in a loud band

But you're still small, so hold my hand

You see how adults walk alone

Talking to friends on mobile phones

Collide with others - shout at them!

They don't learn, just do it again

When I see someone walk alone

Immersed in their own mobile phone

Sorry to say, I'm not sorry

To think the winner's the lorry.

Now you've reached three, passed four, turned five

Gran's job's still, keep small tots alive

Don't race down high streets, I've a plan

You walk by me, and hold my hand.

-ends-

Revised 19 Aug. I repeated the first verse at the end. In novels it could be called bookending or framing.

Don't Believe It! Comical poem 836 by Angela Lansbury

 

Sceptical reader

 Selphie by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Don't believe all that is written

Some of it's always wrong

The worst baddie is good when you're smitten

Everyone changes the words of a song

Nobody knows words and authors of quotes

They change punchlines of jokes and anecdotes

Nobody can remember names

And everone thinks somone else is to blame

Even the best singer sometimes mimes

The smartest people mistake dates and times

Some meetings do not last as long

But others go on. and on, and on

To sum up, I can't remember

Most of the things I and you know

Events from the past never last

Even those from five minutes ago.

-ends-

I wrote this when I wanted to give the dates of next year's annual Writers' Summer School at the Hayes Conference Centre. This year's programme had handily ggiven the dates of next year's conference snd the one after that which had been booked. Abd deposits paid, this year,s chairman told us. Then he said that the date of next year's conference was wrong!

!

Symptoms. Comical poem 835 by Angela Lansbury

 

Reader surprised. Selfie photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

I read a list ailments

I see symptoms everywhere

Don't fit my clothes. A sniffing nose

Need a high chair, I'm losing hair

Low thyroid could cause losing hair

Diabetes could cause thirst

On the other hand, it's summer

And the heat is at its worst

I'm not a hypochondriac

But I've got pains both front and back

'Though I no longer have the curse

Some things are better, others worse

I've had another birthday

And everyone's surprised

To see, despite my symptoms

That I am still alive!

I read a list of symptoms

And what you need to thrive

To sum it up, I diagnose

That I am still alive!

-ends-

Please follow my blogs. I write posts on comical poetry, travel, and dress of the day, every day. Other blogs such as the one on successful and winning speeches, are intermittent. Please share with your friends, family and colleagues links to entertaining or useful posts. 

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Pills. Comical poems by Angela Lansbury.

 

Pill boxes. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Pills pills. I have so many pills

By taking them I'm getting well

But signalling that I've been ill

And someone has to pay the bill

Some pills are small, some pills are large

Some are really hard to swallow

If you forget to take a pill

Do not take two tomorrow

I read NHS instructions

Don't rely on my deductions

Now that I've done all that I should

I'm feeling smug, in control, good

My mood is lifted by thyroxine

It adds to my days' enjoyment

Do visits annoy the chemist?

No, they're glad I give employment.

In the scheme of the vast universe

I'm an unimportant minion

I'm happy if my pill taking

Helps to make others millions.

-ends-

A Poet's Confession. Comical poem 833 by Angela Lansbury

 

Angela Lansbury performing a poem in August 2026 at the Writer's Summer School, an annual event at the Hayes Conference Centre in Swanwick, England, UK. The book is her latest book, Embarrassing Moments.

Last night I wrote a poem

For all my fellow poets

Who love to write about themselves

And shamelessly, proudly show it

Not satisfied to fill the page

They -  we, want to prance about the stage

Create a world of illusions

About their, our, private delusions

And my dearest friend Christine

Writes of things others haven't seen.

I dream I'll make lots of money

To replace teeth lost to chocolates and honey

I don't write of love, embarrassed

To admit I'm no longer harassed

By men who are well past eighty

Bothered by troubles more weighty

Those growing older still remember

The distant past like glowing embers

Embellished with relish by rhythm and rhyme

Repeated, like a chorus, all the time

And so I must conclude

I don't use words which are rude

I'm sure you appreciate, it's too late,

For that, my dearest fellow, mellow poets.

Last night I wrote a poem

I could write, and talk, all night

I no longer earn a wage

They'll soon make me leave the stage

I'm sure you understand

So please give me a big hand

Please look at my latest book

It costs nothing to look 

And then I shall look at yours

So we'll enjoy mutual applause.

-ends-

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Changes: Funny Birds And Words Misheard. Comical poem 832 by Angela Lansbury.

Smiley paperclip fridge magnet. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Funny how babies turn into nerds

Funny how worms turn into birds

Funny how strawberries we had for tea

Some turn into you, others to me.

Funny how thoughts turn into words

'though, without hearing aids, much is misheard

Just like baking sponge cake, easily

My mind mixes words and makes poetry.

-ends-

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Whatever Can Go Wrong. Comical poem 831 by Angela Lansbury.

 

I must not wait

Or I'll be late

Do I have time to change odd socks?

When I'm chased by two ticking clocks?

Whatever can go wrong? 

Whatever can go

Whatever can

Whatever

Whatever can go wrong will do so

Whatever, whatever

Can, can, go wrong, I can put right

Do, do! So? So? I can do so!

Whatever can go wrong will do so

Go, go. Go wrong, go wrong

Wrong, wrong, TAKES TOO LONG

Will, will. CHIL. CHILL. Do so, do so

How do I know? OH, NO. No, no

Because I say so. Even though

Sometimes I know

How things will go.

But I don't say so. No? Why so?

'Though erratic, I'm diplomatic

Hesitate to be emphatic.

To be fair, does anyone care?

Is anyone even there?

Everyone knows, But no-one goes

When there's a problem, no-one shows

How do they know? Evidence glows.

Mistakes are like a clicking clock

Which sometimes goes and sometimes stops

When it's important that I share

I watch my watch and then compare.

If I remember my mistakes

I know I can do what it takes

To learn from others' dire mistakes

Fixed! The repeating cycle breaks.

-ends-

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You know things could be worse. Comical poem 830 by Angela Lansbury.

 

You know things could be worse

When you see china break

You know things could be worse

You could get a toothache

Teeth. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

You know things could be worse

When they give you the sack

You know things could be worse

They could ask you back

You know things could be worse

When you follow the hearse

You know things could be worse

You could be in the hearse

You know things could be worse

If this song's long and wrong

You know things would be worse

If it's you who wrote this song.

-ends-

The Visitor. It won't be long. Comical poem 929 by Angela Lansbury

 

Clock watched. Photo by Angela Lansbury.

It won't long now, you are on the train

It won't be long now, you will catch a plane

Neat Feet. Comical poem number 828 by Angela Lansbury.

 I have two feet

I have ten toes

And everywhere I go

They go

I've two big toes

Six un-named, dinky

Two babies outside

Both called pinky

Busy all day

Running and walking

Unlike my mouth

They do no talking

Important work

But sleep at night

When I look down

They're in my sight

Unlike fingers

They wear no rings

But wear out shoes

Cute socks, for bling

To match my suits

I wear smart boots

They. too, look neat

Though hiding my important feet.

--ends-

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Read And Write A Limerick. Comical Poem 827 and Poetry Information and Instruction by Angela Lansbury.

A teacher wrote a limerick

Sat down and did it very quick

Re-read it, very quickly

Thought adverbs should end l y - quickly

Better change it very quick

Her own error made her sick.

-ends-

Can you write a limerick about English, grammar - or pronunciation?

Remember the song: You say tomato and I say tomato.

I have added an extra line to the limerick. That is two errors in one limerick. 

Here  are some conventional limericks.

  There once was a lady in Harrow

Who lived in a street high and narrow

It took lots of will

To climb up the hill

With her shopping in a wheelbarrow.

Indians moved to Hillview Road

Proud of their new olde worlde abode

Smart garden's foxes

Bred under boxes

Where gold rings and bangles were stowed.

In England's streets we fly our flags

And welcome visitors in drag

We've a king and queen

And royals not seen

On tee-shirts, caps, key rings and bags.

Useful Websites

Pronunciation

Limericks

Useful Websites On Songs, Pronunciation And The Meaning Emotion The Words

https://www.songlyrics.com/ella-fitzgerald/you-say-tomato-i-say-tomato-lyrics/

ELSE SPEAK App reviewed

https://reviewed.app/app/elsa-speak/?utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=533039014&utm_content=1351302449186883&utm_term=kwd-84457623781059:loc-188&adId=84456819126071&msclkid=67fcfc89cca0153bdbbd96fb138ad773#google_vignette

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anapaest

 -ends-

My first version of the poem on Hillview Road, was written thinking of my late neighbours Loudon and Alice who had foxes in the back garden. However, Hatch End now has many Indian restaurants and new residents, so I changed the limerick to fit the new reality.

The rhyming scheme is eight syllables for the first couplet. only five for the second two, and return to eight for the fifth and last line. You need two rhymes. Using the letters of the alphabet for short to show the rhyming lines, to aabba.

Now write a limerick using the name of your street, area, city, or country.

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Nobody Knows. Comical poem 826 by Angela Lansbury.

 

What you do in the bathroom

Nobody knows

If you wash your hands after 

Blowing your nose

If you are wearing too small, or too large

Or stained underclothes

If you don"t tell, nobody knows

If you keep a secret which nobody knows

So long as you don't forget and tell

Nobody cares, because nobody knows

After death if you go to heaven or hell

If you don't tell, nobody knows.

-ends-

Read and Write a Limerick. Comical Poem 825 and Poetry Information and Instruction by Angela Lansbury.

 There once was a lady in Harrow

Who lived in a street high and narrow

It took lots of will

To climb up the hill

With her shopping in a wheelbarrow.

Indians moved to Hillview Road

Proud of their new olde worlde abode

Smart garden's foxes

Bred under boxes

Where gold rings and bangles were stowed.

Union Jack on bath mitt.

In England's streets we fly our flags

And welcome visitors in drag

We've a king and queen

And royals not seen

On tee-shirts, caps, key rings and bags.

-ends-

My first version, thinking of my late neighbours Loudon and Alice who had foxes in the back garden. However, Hatch End now has many Indian restaurants and new residents, so I changed the limerick to fit the new reality.

The rhyming scheme is eight syllables for the first couplet. only five for the second two, and return to eight for the fifth and last line. You need two rhymes. Using the letters of the alphabet for short to show the rhyming lines, to aabba.

Now write a limerick using the name of your street, area, city, or country.

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Whatever can go wrong goes wrong. Comical poem 824 by Angela Lansbury.

  Whether my day is short or long

Whatever can go wrong goes wrong

Whether I am early or late

Some things you can't anticipate

Even if I stay home and write

All day I edit, put wrongs right

Then, when I see the fading light

It's time for me to jaunt at night

I took great care with what I wore

Welcomed those I'd not seen before.

Friends gave me a lift to my door

My door key won't open the door!

What can I do now left alone?

Son's miles away, who can I phone?

I call my old friend from next door

She pulls, pushes, and three times more

We have no choice, it is a pain

She pulls and pushes once again

At last it opens. And no doubt

Friends help, but I'm scared to go out

Because I know, days short or long

Whatever can go wrong, goes wrong.

-ends-

Angela Lansbury is the author twenty books, including several books of comical poems, such as Animals Pets and Pests. She has also written  books on about writing poetry such as Poetry Workbook, which you can browse of buy from Amazon.co.uk, or Amazon.com and Lulu.com  She has also contributed poems and chapters to anthologies edited by Carolyn Street.

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So expensive - so cheap. Comical Poem number 823 by Angela Lansbury

Babies are very expensive

They need burials if they die

But need nappies if they live

Powdered milk costs, you wonder why

Children are very expensive

They need to follow school rules

The right colours, hats and ties

Wear uniforms, use school tools

Wedding of Trevor Sharot and Angela Lansbury

Weddings are very expensive

The bride's all important dress

Invitations embossed in gold

Nothing but the very best

Old folk are expensive

 The cost of walking frames

You wonder why, they need pills

If they ate right, they're not to blame

I have always liked a bargain

So today I shan't complain

About the quality, it's cheap

I found discounts, freebies, again.

-ends-

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