Holding Up The Leaning Tower. Comical poem 874 by comic Angela Lansbury

 

Hands bigger than my head. Trick of perspective. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

 I hold up the Leaning Tower

The famous one in Italy

I hold up the Eiffel Tower

That's the one in gay Paree

Me by Statue of Liberty

I'm on a small boat out to sea

I see you looking sceptically

The wonders of photography

You can make towers look small

You can make yourself look tall

Look like you're holding up the wall

When you're not doing that at all

You can make your viewers snigger

Nearby feet and hands look bigger

First step forwards, then step back

If surprise is what you lack

It's the wonder of perspective

Follow some expert's directive

Forward, back, then up and down

Change the size, and paint the town

As children we would play I-spy

Simply spotting what flew by

Now I can visit every state

Seeking new pictures to create

You laugh or gasp or simply stare

Edit some, choose best ones to share.

Even if it takes you a while

It's worth it to provoke a smile.

-ends-

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A foreground figure or part of the body nearer the camera looks larger. The distant object or part of the body seems smaller.

The Fall comical poem number 873 by comic Angela Lansbury

Autumn is coming, Americans call

It not falling leaves, but simply the Fall

I wobble like leaves, wander down the hall

But smartly grab walls and don't fall at all.

Should I admit that recently I fell?

That was back in June, in autumn I'm well

New exercises, full of surprises

Make sure if I fall I roll like a ball.

-ends-

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Updated on 20 October 2026 to eight syllables per line.

Practical Information On Preventing Falls And Falling Safely

Safe Falling Demonstration

I recall at a |Toastmasters International club in Singapore, which met at the Sheraton hotel, the late Laurence who had had part of one leg amputated, enjoyed shocking the audience by pretending to fall up the steps to the middle of the dais. He would fall and immediately right himself, and gleefully lift his trousers to show his wooden ankle. 

He always got applause and was voted the best table topics speaker. (He was volunteering to give 2 minute impromptu speech on one of the topics which in the 1920s when TI started in the USA were on pieces of paper on the table, face down, selected randomly.)

After writing this poem I started wondering how you avoid a fall. I seem to remember that he had learned to fall safely at martial arts classes, which are very popular in Singapore, and taught to all ages in the Community Centres in every area.

I asked AI for advice on falling.

Minimize the impact and protect vital areas of your body using specific physical techniques:

• Protect your head: Tuck your chin firmly into your chest immediately to prevent your head from whipping backward and striking the ground. Wrap your arms around your head to shield it from debris or hard surfaces.

• Roll with the fall: Avoid keeping your body rigid. Instead, try to curve your back and roll along the fleshy parts of your body (such as your shoulder, hip, and thigh) to distribute the impact over a larger surface area rather than a single point.

• Avoid breaking falls with straight arms: Never extend your arms stiffly. Also don't lock your elbows to catch yourself, as this often results in wrist breaks and hairline cracks, dislocated shoulders, or broken collarbones. If your hands must hit the ground, keep your elbows slightly bent.

• Fall sideways if possible: If you feel yourself losing your balance backward or forward, try to twist and land on your side. Landing flat on your back can knock the wind out of you or injure your spine. But falling directly forward risks injuring your face, mouth and teeth area.

• Keep joints loose: Allow your knees to remain slightly bent rather than locked straight to help absorb some of the shock.

• I asked where Gemini got the information

• Gemini took the essential points from Mayo Clinic on Fall Prevention, and Medical Guardian on How to Fall Safely. Gemini rewrote the information without technical terms, without long words such as velocity. Gemini also left out advice on clothing and furniture. I have further edited Gemini's text into simpler, everyday language, leaving out such terms as kinetic energy, trauma, dental, while, fractures. This helps me to grasp the facts at a glance, as well as helping all my readers in countries such as Singapore, whose location is listed in my blogger's Google analytics pages.

The End. Comical Poem 872 by Angela Lansbury

It isn't much fun in a hospice or home

Where the health care visitor weighs twenty stone

Better than last year widowed, on your own

It's so good to know you're not alone

I'm always happy, though Monday's I'm angry

I ate all the chocolates but I'm still hungry

My socks don't match but I love my clothes

Who my visitor is, nobody knows

New friends swear, shout, sing, soon go mad

One cheese sandwich each day for lunch isn't bad

You remember your childhood like yesterday

But can't remember the month, week, or day

- Or whether you had breakfast today

Your sister tells you he is your brother

Your daughter's the one you thought was mother

They visit each day but soon go away

You've a half-star room costing five star bills

Every visitor wants you to re-write your will

Every fifteen minutes you take ten pills

A walk to the plant pot's your biggest thrill

One small drawer for all of your things

Somebody's stolen your plastic wedding ring

Two dresses and ten incontinence pads

A scarf for Sunday's music hall rag

Forty people, a birthday every weekend

Whisky glasses and birthday cake

As usual, the front door is locked

And half the staff have gone to a wake

Yesterday's enemy is today's friend

Yesterday's friend's chat drives us round the bend

Was it your birthday? What did I send?

I'm so happy, a great place, new start, a good end.

-ends-

The Dreadful Things Which People Do. Comical poem 871 by Angela Lansbury.

Broken Black Umbrella. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright. 

The dreadful things which people do

Of course, I don't mean me, nor you

They tear their clothes, and cut their hair

Rich folk complain - nothing to wear

Toddlers who break towers of bricks

People who need their spelling fixed

People who live in tower blocks

Admit they chucked out my odd socks

People with names I can't pronounce

People who dance but cannot dance

People who run after one glance

People who speak German in France

People who don't want my advice

People who charge for one drink twice

They cross roads, talking on the phone

Scammers who won't leave me alone

People on trains who sing and shout

Use brollies which the faithful doubt

Free gifts, with conditions, not free

I wonder what they think of me?

-ends-

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Cautionary tales.Comical Poem number 870 by Angela Lansbury

The Victorians were sensible

Even their poets were practical

Cautionary tales gave all a warning

When rationality was dawning 

They gave a warning to a small child

That even a zoo animal's wild

Clearly stated in pictures and verse

A naughty child ends up in a hearse

Kittens are kittens but cats are cats

Tigers are wild, and all zoos know that

Although a cage puts you in a rage

Even those from Mars know don't climb bars

In Singapore visitors are sure

After one mishap there are no more

They searched around for the antidote

And made a moat, but not with a boat

Balcony bars aren't horizontal

they're designed impossible to climb

If something bad happens only once

Make sure that it stays the only time

You cannot pass through the safety glass

Nor take a dive. so tourists survive

When reports and remedies are done

We'll all go back to have safe fun

Though I'm no longer a small scared child

I don't like it in the scary wild

Too many tales and warnings I've seen

Now I watch the wild things on my screen.

-ends-

After the fatal incident in the Yorkshire wild life park I asked Gemini AI if Singapore Safari Park, which is linked to the zoo, has had accidents, and what safety measures where introduced. 

also read

1. "Jim, Who Ran Away from His Nurse, and Was Eaten by a Lion" by Hilaire Belloc

This is a classic satirical cautionary tale from Belloc's Cautionary Tales for Children (published in 1907).

The Lion and Albert by Marriott Edgar

This is a famous northern English comic monologue (often performed by Stanley Holloway) written in dialect.

Hilaire Belloc passed away in 1953. His copyright expired at the end of 2023 (70 years after 1953), meaning his works are now out of copyright and in the public domain.

Marriott Edgar passed away earlier, in 1951. His copyright expired at the end of 2021 (70 years after 1951), meaning his works are also out of copyright and in the public domain.The Wetherspoons pub located right near the Blackpool Tower was actually named The Albert and The Lion in honor of the poem.

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The God Of The Garden. Comical poem number 869 by Comic Angela Lansbury.

 I am the God of the Garden

I am the wise one who creates

I plant trees to shelter from breeze

Which start so small but grow too great

I'm the smug God of the Garden

But over years made two mistakes

You use spades when the earth hardens

Spend too much time on my garden

I plant bulbs for flowers in spring

I planted almost everything

All the seeds, but none of the weeds

Vibrant red apples Fall will bring

Orange roses in front garden of Hatch End. Photo by Angela Lansbury. copyright.

I plant flowers for birds and bees

I laid paths, a low wall of brick

Roses, bushes, fences and trees

Pear grow too slow, cypress too quick

The neighbours' hole helped send hedgehogs

Parrakeets preen, green hiding frog

Tennis ball, litter - dropped by fox

Birds, animals, lost cat, stray dog

First I was glad to see the fox

Next I was glad to see the cat

The lawn had puzzling big brown holes

I was not glad to glimpse the rat.

Yesterday hot, but today not

Today is cold, if truth be told

Today I am staying snug indoors

Sweeping garden mud off the floors.

-ends-

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Poems Inspired by London's Railway Stations - Paddington. Comical Poem 868 by Angela Lansbury.

Paddington station is the best

For travellers heading to the west

Work, happy UK holiday

Or on to far off USA

Selfie statues: Paddington Bear,

Engineer Brunel on his chair,

Tall hugging lovers stand upstairs

Symbolize travelling everywhere.

-ends-

(More tomorrow)