Funny how babies turn into nerds
Funny how worms turn into birds
Funny how strawberries we had for tea
Some turn into you, others to me.
Funny how thoughts turn into words
'though without hearing aids much is misheard
Just like baking sponge cake, easily
My mind mixes words and makes poetry.
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Whatever can go wrong?
Whatever can go
Whatever can
Whatever
Whatever can go wrong will do so
Whatever, whatever
Can, can
Do, do
So? So?
Whatever can go wrong will do so
Go, go
Go wrong, go wrong
wrong, wrong
Will, will
Do so, do so
How do I know?
No, no
Because I say so.
Even though
Sometimes I know
How things will go
But I don't say so.
Why so?
I'm too diplomatic
To be so
Emphatic.
To be fair
Does anyone care?
Is anyone there?
Everyone knows
So nobody goes
Nobody shows
How do they know?
'cos the evidence glows.
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You know things could be worse
When you see china break
You know things could be worse
You could get a toothache
You know things could be worse
When they give you the sack
You know things could be worse
They could ask you back
You know things could be worse
When you follow the hearse
You know things could be worse
You could be in the hearse
You know things could be worse
If this song's long and wrong
You know things would be worse
If it's you who wrote this song.
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It won't long now, you are on the train
It won't be long now, you will catch a plane
It won't be long now, I'll see you again
It won't be long now, then you can explain
You've such a big bill, it must've been a thrill
You've such a big heart, what did you start?
You're still my old friend, so we'll start again
It's an unbroken chain, 'til we both complain
I've worked all the day, put troubles away
Looked at our old home, wondered what you'd say
Is it glad I'm back? Or, I'll never stay
'cos this time I'm really going away
Well, I won't care, if you're not there
I'll shop again when the shelves are bare
Divide up the goods and I'll keep my share
I've plenty to spare, hidden everywhere
Yet I have a scheme, I have a sweet dream
That all will be well, I can never tell
If you come back refreshed, and I'm well dressed
All sweet and neat, you'll walk in impressed, I guess.
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I have two feet
I have ten toes
And everywhere I go
They go
I've two big toes
Six un-named, dinky
Two babies outside
Both called pinky
Busy all day
Running and walking
Unlike my mouth
They do no talking
Important work
But sleep at night
When I lookk down
They're in my sight
Unlike fingers
They wear no rings
But wear out shoes
Cute socks, for bling
To match my suits
I wear smart boots
They. too, look neat
Though hiding my important feet.
--ends-
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A teacher wrote a limerick
Sat down and did it very quick
Re-read it, very quickly
Thought adverbs should end l y - quickly
Better change it very quick
Her own error made her sick.
Can you write a limerick about English, grammar - or pronunciation. Remember the song, You say tomato and I say tomato.
I have added an extra line to the limerick. That is two errors in one limerick.
Here are some conventional limericks.
There once was a lady in Harrow
Who lived in a street high and narrow
It took lots of will
To climb up the hill
With her shopping in a wheelbarrow.
Indians moved to Hillview Road
Proud of their new olde worlde abode
Smart garden's foxes
Bred under boxes
Where gold rings and bangles were stowed.
In England's streets we fly our flags
And welcome visitors in drag
We've a king and queen
And royals not seen
On tee-shirts, caps, key rings and bags.
Useful Websites
Pronunciation
Limericks
https://www.songlyrics.com/ella-fitzgerald/you-say-tomato-i-say-tomato-lyrics/
ELSE SPEAK App reviewed
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anapaest
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My first version of the poem on Hillview Road, was written thinking of my late neighbours Loudon and Alice who had foxes in the back garden. However, Hatch End now has many Indian restaurants and new residents, so I changed the limerick to fit the new reality.
The rhyming scheme is eight syllables for the first couplet. only five for the second two, and return to eight for the fifth and last line. You need two rhymes. Using the letters of the alphabet for short to show the rhyming lines, to aabba.
Now write a limerick using the name of your street, area, city, or country.
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What you do in the bathroom
Nobody knows
If you wash your hands after
Blowing your nose
If you are wearing too small, or too large
Or stained underclothes
If you don"t tell, nobody knows
If you keep a secret which nobody knows
So long as you don't forget and tell
Nobody cares, because nobody knows
After death if you go to heaven or hell
If you don't tell, nobody knows.
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