Readers and Doers comical poem number 727 by Angela Lansbury

 Some folks don't buy books for themselves

To give themselves a laugh or lift

They just by books at Christmas time

For children and neighbours as gifts

They never read to help themselves

Ask a chemist of doctor for health

Why pay, the NHS is free

And use a bank if you have wealth

The cleaner never reads my books

Nor asks me, 'What is life's meaning?'

She simply asks, 'When am I paid?'

Then gets busy with the cleaning.

-ends-

About Angela Lansbury - my books of poetry

Poetry Pets & Pests

Angela's Alarming Animal poems

Poetry Workbook

 My latest book, Embarrassing Moments, is on Amazon, at a bargain price of well under ten pounds

My books are on Amazon.com, Amazon.co.uk, and Lulu.com

Take a look. You might like to buy one for yourself or a friend. 

See my other blogs on Travel, Wine and dine, and Dress of the day Angela. Please share links to your favourite blogs and posts.

Please follow me and share links to your favourite poems.

Night Noise, In Bed, In My Head comical poem number 726 by Angela Lansbury

 Today, not guilty, glad to say

Last night not me who was snoring

Some else suffered from a cold

I was awake - bed was boring

So I leapt from my comfy bed

Thoughts circling round my useful head

I worried we'd be sick, late, broke

I gave the snorer one more poke

Sudden silence - did he survive?

If not, my fault he's not alive

Will he wake, accusing, angry

Or just like me feeling hungry

I'm sleep deprived, early rising

Run to the tempting computer

But better write in a notebook

Escape time waste advertising

Ads promise you the quickest route

Last week's destination station

Reveal last one sales, and scandals

In a far off island nation

The latest perfect remedy

If my long straight hair were frizzy

Ten things which could kill everyone

If you're feeling fine or dizzy

Five things everyone ought eat

Over-weight? Or constipated?

Must see the world's top ten hotels

Loved loyal dogs, under-rated

I must not use the computer

There's too much depressing bad news

A million men, shouting marching

In 1600, the brave few

I've finished my pointless poem

Time to go back to my cold bed

I need more sleep, for energy

Too much to do, in my full head

My eyes are shutting, while sitting

So I'll flop down and try to sleep

Ignoring the gentle snoring

In my own dream, vivid but deep

I'm yearning for breakfast, morning, 

But my brain's busy and buzzing

We're working honey bees in hives

But here's a good sign - I'm yawning

I'm too busy to seek out gods, 

And ask them, 'What am I here for?'

I know. Fate gave me lots of jobs 

I've made today's long list of tasks.

-ends-

About Angela Lansbury - my books of poetry

Poetry Pets & Pests

Angela's Alarming Animal poems

Poetry Workbook

 My latest book, Embarrassing Moments, is on Amazon, at a bargain price of well under ten pounds

My books are on Amazon.com, Amazon.co.uk, and Lulu.com

Take a look. You might like to buy one for yourself or a friend. 

See my other blogs on Travel, Wine and dine, and Dress of the day Angela. Please share links to your favourite blogs and posts.

Please follow me and share links to your favourite poems.

You Are A Tube comical poem 725 by Angela Lansbury

Brunel statue on Paddington station in London, England. Photo by Angela Lansbury Copyright.

 We ride upon the London tube

Which carries crowds from place to place

We listen for the destination

Distracting noise, trip feet, frown face

Each body, too, is like a tube

Water drunk in, must then come out

Food follows like the circle line

Drops energy, and germs, no doubt

We scatter workers through the town

To break fast, lunch, and dine and sup

They say that what goes up comes down

When sick what went down comes up

Choose well where to spend day and night

If you go home, sit, watch telly

Drink too much wine, you sleep or fight

But drink beer, get a beer belly

Don't forgot what we should expect.

There's logic, warning, in the world

As science says, cause and effect

Maps, banners, signs, results unfurled.

-ends-

The London underground is called the tube because of the tunnels.

About Angela Lansbury - my books of poetry

Poetry Pets & Pests

Angela's Alarming Animal poems

Poetry Workbook

 My latest book, Embarrassing Moments, is on Amazon, at a bargain price of well under ten pounds

My books are on Amazon.com, Amazon.co.uk, and Lulu.com

Take a look. You might like to buy one for yourself or a friend. 

See my other blogs on Travel, Wine and dine, and Dress of the day Angela. Please share links to your favourite blogs and posts.

Please follow me and share links to your favourite poems.

Whose Point Of View? comical poem number 724 by Angela Lansbury

Angela Lansbury, author, smiling with a large yellow smiley sculpture. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Please share photo and caption.

 

From a mosquito's point of view

The main purpose of me and you

Is to provide a tasty treat

Make sure it gets enough to eat

And from a worms eye point of view

The main purpose of me and you

Is to provide a feast for worms

Full of vitamins and nice germs

From a God's long term point of view

We are not put here to complain

About the rain, nor pray for rain

The water circles round again

From reincarnation's strange view

The next purpose of me and you

I'll see your view, then I'll be you

You'll see like me, and you'll be me.

-ends-

About Angela Lansbury - my books of poetry

include  Poetry Pets & Pests

Poetry Workbook

 My latest book, Embarrassing Moments, is on Amazon, at a bargain price of well under ten pounds

My books are on Amazon.com, Amazon.co.uk, and Lulu.com

Take a look. You might like to buy one for yourself or a friend. 

See my other blogs on travel, wine and dine and dress of the day. Please share links to your favourite blogs and posts.

Please follow me and share links to your favourite poems.

What If: comical poem by Angela Lansbury number 723

When you are tired your mind plays tricks

Tormented by broke things to fix

Thoughts run, stumble, in a hurry

Drag a big file labelled worry

 

What if I went to bed tonight

Unwashed, but never woke up?

What if there were small but deep holes

Inside every glass and tea cup?

Who would make the breakfast for us

Do washing up? Should I prepare? 

Just my husband. Why should I care?

Not my problem. I won't be there.

What if there were poisons

In all chocolate, sweets and cakes?

A tragedy for you and me

Like fake sugar. But we'd lose weight.

What if the day after I died

None of my great poems were read?

I would never know and grieve

I'd be dead, at peace, empty head

But my dear mother always said

Don't cry for strangers far away

Don't make yourself unhappy, dear

Leave yesterday, enjoy today

Think: what if I were praised? Famous?

What if I made a million smile!

Then writing this one ten a.m.

Would all have been really worthwhile

What if I found my dried up pen

Years on, and read this all again

And said, gosh, was this really mine?

I was already clever then!

What happens later, no-one knows

I'll leave behind such pretty clothes

Satins and silk, ribbons and bows

A garden with a perfumed rose

So I shall write about delight

Before I quench the bedside light

Rest in the darkness of kind night

Help my eyes close in soft repose.

-ends-

I changed the line

I was rather clever back then

to read

I was already clever then.

I changed daylight to bedside light. 

I changed 

Let my eyes close in sweet repose

to read

Help my eyes close in sweet repose.

About Angela Lansbury - my books of poetry

include  Poetry Pets & Pests

Poetry Workbook

 My latest book, Embarrassing Moments, is on Amazon, at a bargain price of well under ten pounds

My books are on Amazon.com, Amazon.co.uk, and Lulu.com

Take a look. You might like to buy one for yourself or a friend. 

See my other blogs on travel, wine and dine and dress of the day. Please share links to your favourite blogs and posts.

Please follow me and share links to your favourite poems.

Tea For Three With Me: comical poem number 722 by Angela Lansbury

Breakfast

Traditional English breakfast

Porridge oats, sugar or honey

Then baked beans, egg and bacon grill

Hotels give this thrill, for money

For daily grub go to the pub

Avoiding big hotels' big bills

Choose sausages and black pudding

Fried potato, and tomato

Lunch

For lunch you could choose a Scotch egg

Sardines on toast, a healthy fish

Fish and chips is what we like most

Sundays Yorkshire pud with beef roast

If you're adding roast potatoes

Careful. You'd better keep quiet

Please don't spoil my good gourmet day

By reminding me to diet

For weekday lunch we have salad

And smoked salmon in a bagel

Supermarket sushi, garlic

We buy half price when we're able

Tea

Each afternoon we stop at four

Or four thirty, or even five

By which time we're yawning and tired

Need food and drink to stay alive

Tea time in London"s any time

No longer always Earl Grey tea

We drink hot coffee, apple juice

Lemon, ginget or mint for me

 If you've never had hot crumpets

Your gourmet life has not begun

If you"re offered two with butter

Please don't stick to half or just one

Scones feature in Cornish cream tea

Spread thick cream, then strawberry jam

Some say you should put jam on first

Avoid arguing, if you can

We sometimes choose a restaurant

But most of our food's home made

We make brown bread with seeds and nuts

Seville oranges marmalade

We clear the table, wash the dishes

And load the dishwashing machine

It does a very good job

Of keeping our plates sparkling clean

Dinner

Then it's time to lay the table

And get ready for dinner

For me, it's brussels sprouts

Chicken and chips is a winner.

Plates of steak, add English mustard

Chocolate pudding, with custard

Christmas pudding, then easter eggs

Build balloon tums and tree trunk legs

Tea Tomorrow

I hope you'll come to tea with me

But I must tell you with sorrow

I ate the last baklava and chocolate

My fruit diet starts tomorrow.

-Ends-

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Could God Make A Mistake? comical poem 721 by Angela Lansbury

 All things are bright and beautiful 

That hymn was written long ago

What if I wrote it nowadays 

With all the science we now know?

Even if you are religious, 

If you search, I'm sure you will find

Devout and decent people pray 

To make God change his, or her, mind

Take cities of millions of men,

Study their acts, a million years

If you give all of them free will 

Most give love and laughter, but some spread tears

Just like modern electric cars

Have accelerators and brakes

Gardens have cats, rats, dogs, frogs, foxes, snakes, 

Could one of them be a mistake?

Cat waiting, asking for milk and mice. Hillview Road. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

We all see all from our point of view

The sun, the stars and universe

The summer, winter, breezes, and storms

The births, loves, weddings, deaths and hearse

Your voice has choice, prose, poetry, 

We all choose for better and worse

Sing hymns of praise, or say swear words, 

Pay compliments, pay bills and curse

Last night I dreamt, as dreamers do, 

Not nightmares, daydreams, just like you

I met a dream friend of a friend, 

I turned up late, but, at the end

I saw her flat up in the sky, 

She lived so high, I wondered why

Far above green trees, below deep blue seas, 

Through white nets, new, a terrace, a dizzy view

I woke and thought, is life like dreams, 

Just random events? Or real schemes?

I must not sit and pray all day, 

But read life's cook books.  First work. Then play

Although the world's full of mad mistakes, 

When a fine vase breaks, in the end, scheme

You can make fate bend, take gold to mend, 

And make each day fulfil one dream.

-ends-

Kin-tsugi repair is a Japanese system of painting gold over the random cracks when you glue together a broken vase or bowl or plate. The Japanese mix the gold with the glue. I glued first, then painted the gold on top with a gold marker pen. Kin means gold. Tsugi is mend or journey. 

I won a speech contest about the environment, using a broken porcelain lamp base, shaped like a vase, which after it broke I had mended with gold, Japanese style, making it look better than when it had been just plain dark green.

About Angela Lansbury's books

I have twenty books and ebooks on amazon.com and lulu.com, some humorous poetry, such as Poetry Pets and Pests, humorous prose, such as my latest book Embarrassing Moments. Take a look. Buy one for yourself or a friend. 

Meeting Angela To Get A Signed Book

If you live near me in Harrow, London, England, or meet me at a Toastmasters International speakers' club meeting or speech contest, I can sign a book for you and write a rhyming couplet about you or your name.

About Angela Lansbury's Blogs

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