Why Doesn't Somebody? Comical poem number 819 by Angela Lansbury

Why don't my dear old and new friends phone me?

Why don't friends hold a New Year's party?

Why doesn't someone ask me for coffee?

Why doesn't anybody think of me?

Who doesn't somebody empty waste bins?

Why doesn't someone clean the dirty floors?

Why doesn't somebody open windows?

Why doesn't someone lock front and back doors?

Why doesn't somebody start a business

One to give me useful. paid employment?

Why doesn't someone start a festival

Which would give everybody enjoyment?

Why doesn't somebody build a city?

Give the old and kids safe flats, downstairs rooms?

Why not balance the tides, rivers and rain?

Fill gardens with fruit, make the desert bloom?

What on earth was I put on this earth for?

Why don't I have more time, wealth and health?

Why wait? Why not start on my projects now?

The answer to all is inside myself.

Today I've just one thing to do

It's pass this message on to you.

-ends-

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Plenty More Fish In the Sea. Comical poem 818 by Angela Lansbury.

We got married so long ago

We've heard most of the jokes before

I've too many small size clothes to wear

He has lost most of his hair

 

There's plenty more fish in the sea

There must be one who would like me

Fraudsters and murderers can find

Somebody of the same mad mind

There must be somebody out there

With money, or debts, who'd like to share

I boasted, 'This year I wrote a book.'

My date sighed, 'I've not even read a book.'

I've had a lot of broken hearts

Lots of stalls, as well as false starts

Some I would rather not recall

Alas I can recall them all

Choose a romantic restaurant

Ask them for a romantic song

Dress to impress. Look your best

What could go wrong? All could go wrong

I had a date with a man from Reading

Although he'd come, he looked quite glum

I wondered where we were heading

He sniffed, 'My bride-to-be cancelled our wedding'

Another's depression was hard to hide

I wondered if I'd be his next bride

I asked, 'What happened to your last mate?'

He cried. 'She committed suicide!'

People look my marriage and say

'We can't understand why you stay?'

I laugh, 'Plenty more fish, I've tried the lot

But decided to stay with what I've got!'

-ends-

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January 1st 2026 I wrote poem 712. July 24th 2026 poem 818

So that is

An Imaginary Angel Helped Tidy My House. Comical Poem 817 by Angela Lansbury.

 Mess! I day-dreamed I had an angel

To tidy up my hopeless house

It worked whilst I dreamed at night

Like Beatrix Potter's helpful mouse

I woke and went around my house

Did a fearful quick inspection

I kicked things on the floor aside

Under their, start here, direction

After one minute, I did two

I saw there was so much to do

Told angel cleaner, 'I'll help you -

I'll just do this one small section

'While I'm at it, I'll clean the floor

And later I'll hoover some more.'

I'm impressed what lost things I find

Books sorted, could be found when blind

I'm sure you'd like to ask me

How to contact my angel friend?

And if they're free, you'll borrow one

Just read this note I'll gladly send

I did not need much reflection

On my room and task selection

But if you're tired and faint-hearted

The secret's simple. Get started

Imagine a helpful angel

Stands near, pointing the direction

Planning to return for photos,

Before and after inspection

What's heart-warming and impressive

Is how much, solo, I have done

Simply imagining we're two

'though all this work was done by one.

-ends-

Mother's Smiling Face. Comical poem 816 by Angela Lansbury.

 Everywhere I go, mother follows me

She smiles perpetually, encouraging me

Her face in photos on the wall

I won't forget that smile at all

I know I'm just daydreaming

I understand how to others it seems

The dead are still alive

And speak to you in dreams

I don't mope, nor cling to vain hope

But choose only happy memory

We lived a long life of laughter

Together, that's how we wanted it to be

So everywhere I see her face

Although she's in some other place

Her smile and laughter's still with me

As I preserve her memory.

-ends-

The Escape Part 2. Comical poem 815 by Angela Lansbury.

Babies wake alone, start screaming

Children play, wake neighbours, shouting

Their mother snatches sleep, dreaming

Why is no-one helping, listening?

Their Dad was reading about football

Admiring heroes who were brave

He ran down to the sandy beach

Then hid in his dark, silent cave

His daughter ran down after him

Called, 'Don't hide, Dad, you won't win

Don't stay here working on your own

With her! Your kids say, please come home!'

Parents did their duty voting

But the council didn't listen

Voters complained, puzzled, in doubt

Thought things could change, voted, all out

Poets sighed, unread introverts

Wrote unpaid, yet no-one listened 

Songwriters' success? Add music, rhyme

Please, composers, help me this time!

Keen teens copy stars and royals

Cheaters think lovers are loyal

We all hope someone else will save

The world, while we hide in our cave.

-ends-

Reading time 2 minutes.

Version one tells poets to use rhymes, or write songs.

Version 2 seeks a composer.

Version 1 has the mother screaming - for help from her husband and the neighbours her children are annoying. Version 2 has her dreaming of help.

Usually I update a poem and show only the second or last version, with a footnote at the end about previous versions and how I improved the rhyme, rhythm, or removed repetition and added variety.

However, this time the poems have different messages to the audience, so I have included both as separate poems.

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The Escape Cave version 1. Comical poem 814 by Angela Lansbury.

Their baby was awake, screaming

Children woke the neighbours, screaming

Their sleeping mother, woke screaming

Why does no-one help or listen?

Their Dad was reading about football

Admiring active heroes, brave

He ran down to the sea, beach, waves

Then hid in his dark, silent cave

His daughter ran down after him

Shouted, 'Don't hide, Dad, you won't win

Don't stay here working on your own

With her! Your kids say, please come home!'

Parents did their duty voting

But the council didn't listen

Voters complained, puzzled, in doubt

Thought things could change, voted all out

Poets sighed, unread introverts

Wrote, stayed poor, cos no-one listened 

Songwriters' success? Add music, rhyme

Poets, please, hear me, this time!

Keen teens copy stars and royals

Cheaters think lovers are loyal

We all hope someone else will save

The world, while we hide in our cave.

-ends-

Reading time one and a half minutes.

Version one tells poets to use rhymes, or write songs.

Version 1 seeks a composer.

Version 1 has the mother screaming - for help from her husband and the neighbours her children are annoying. Version 2 has her dreaming of help.

See version 2 for more footnotes.

What makes me feel? Comical Poem 813 by Angela Lansbury.

What tasks and files make me feel ill?

Receiving new, even old bills

Instructions on new and old pills

Making new and reading old wills

What cheers me up, makes me feel well?

Affordable things others sell

High prices cups get if I sell

Hearing ice cream cart's ringing bell

What calms my afternoon slump, stress?

Planning a trip to East or West

Photos of a food and wine Fest

A tea-time cake with lemon zest

What wakes me, makes me feel my best?

Solving problems, or a hard test

Waking from long sleep or a rest

Bùying a new red hat or dress!

What action is most exciting

Let's imagine we're inviting

Friends whose skill is reading, writing

Calmly fishing, watching fighting?

Yes, dear friend, tell me about you?

Today what would do you like to do?

Watch bikes race? A1. Or football?

Or nothing at all?

-ends-

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