Pills. Comical poems by Angela Lansbury.

 

Pill boxes. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Pills pills. I have so many pills

By taking them I'm getting well

But signalling that I've been ill

And someone has to pay the bill

Some pills are small, some pills are large

Some are really hard to swallow

If you forget to take a pill

Do not take two tomorrow

I read NHS instructions

Don't rely on my deductions

Now that I've done all that I should

I'm feeling smug, in control, good

My mood is lifted by thyroxine

It adds to my days' enjoyment

Do visits annoy the chemist?

No, they're glad I give employment.

In the scheme of the vast universe

I'm an unimportant minion

I'm happy if my pill taking

Helps to make others millions.

-ends-

A Poet's Confession. Comical poem 833 by Angela Lansbury

 

Angela Lansbury performing a poem in August 2026 at the Writer's Summer School, an annual event at the Hayes Conference Centre in Swanwick, England, UK. The book is her latest book, Embarrassing Moments.

Last night I wrote a poem

For all my fellow poets

Who love to write about themselves

And shamelessly, proudly show it

Not satisfied to fill the page

They -  we, want to prance about the stage

Create a world of illusions

About their, our, private delusions

And my dearest friend Christine

Writes of things others haven't seen.

I dream I'll make lots of money

To replace teeth lost to chocolates and honey

I don't write of love, embarrassed

To admit I'm no longer harassed

By men who are well past eighty

Bothered by troubles more weighty

Those growing older still remember

The distant past like glowing embers

Embellished with relish by rhythm and rhyme

Repeated, like a chorus, all the time

And so I must conclude

I don't use words which are rude

I'm sure you appreciate, it's too late,

For that, my dearest fellow, mellow poets.

Last night I wrote a poem

I could write, and talk, all night

I no longer earn a wage

They'll soon make me leave the stage

I'm sure you understand

So please give me a big hand

Please look at my latest book

It costs nothing to look 

And then I shall look at yours

So we'll enjoy mutual applause.

-ends-

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Changes: Funny Birds And Words Misheard. Comical poem 832 by Angela Lansbury.

Smiley paperclip fridge magnet. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Funny how babies turn into nerds

Funny how worms turn into birds

Funny how strawberries we had for tea

Some turn into you, others to me.

Funny how thoughts turn into words

'though, without hearing aids, much is misheard

Just like baking sponge cake, easily

My mind mixes words and makes poetry.

-ends-

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Whatever Can Go Wrong. Comical poem 831 by Angela Lansbury.

 

I must not wait

Or I'll be late

Do I have time to change odd socks?

When I'm chased by two ticking clocks?

Whatever can go wrong? 

Whatever can go

Whatever can

Whatever

Whatever can go wrong will do so

Whatever, whatever

Can, can, go wrong, I can put right

Do, do! So? So? I can do so!

Whatever can go wrong will do so

Go, go. Go wrong, go wrong

Wrong, wrong, TAKES TOO LONG

Will, will. CHIL. CHILL. Do so, do so

How do I know? OH, NO. No, no

Because I say so. Even though

Sometimes I know

How things will go.

But I don't say so. No? Why so?

'Though erratic, I'm diplomatic

Hesitate to be emphatic.

To be fair, does anyone care?

Is anyone even there?

Everyone knows, But no-one goes

When there's a problem, no-one shows

How do they know? Evidence glows.

Mistakes are like a clicking clock

Which sometimes goes and sometimes stops

When it's important that I share

I watch my watch and then compare.

If I remember my mistakes

I know I can do what it takes

To learn from others' dire mistakes

Fixed! The repeating cycle breaks.

-ends-

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You know things could be worse. Comical poem 830 by Angela Lansbury.

 

You know things could be worse

When you see china break

You know things could be worse

You could get a toothache

Teeth. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

You know things could be worse

When they give you the sack

You know things could be worse

They could ask you back

You know things could be worse

When you follow the hearse

You know things could be worse

You could be in the hearse

You know things could be worse

If this song's long and wrong

You know things would be worse

If it's you who wrote this song.

-ends-

The Visitor. It won't be long. Comical poem 929 by Angela Lansbury

 

Clock watched. Photo by Angela Lansbury.

It won't long now, you are on the train

It won't be long now, you will catch a plane

Neat Feet. Comical poem number 828 by Angela Lansbury.

 I have two feet

I have ten toes

And everywhere I go

They go

I've two big toes

Six un-named, dinky

Two babies outside

Both called pinky

Busy all day

Running and walking

Unlike my mouth

They do no talking

Important work

But sleep at night

When I look down

They're in my sight

Unlike fingers

They wear no rings

But wear out shoes

Cute socks, for bling

To match my suits

I wear smart boots

They. too, look neat

Though hiding my important feet.

--ends-

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