Performance Poetry. Comical Poem 867 by Angela Lansbury

Angela, second place in the Table Topics impromptu speaking Area contest.

Toastmasters International

Holds contest twice a year

Clubs send best speakers to compete

At one location, still quite near

It's for fun, skill, not for money

One contest is impromptu

Four speakers try to be funny

Perform with props. Then interview

Judges have given in their vote

Ballot counters are counting

Interviewed speakers say things of note

While the tension's mounting

I had my moment on the night

When they asked me to recite

That welcome invitation heard

Alas, I can't recall one word!

But improvise, just like a rap

Suddenly some rhymes come back 

I've just one minute left to speak

To be remembered half a week

'Here I stand upon the stage

Helping you to turn life's page

I hope that I shall be a winner -

Then I can go home to dinner!'

I've done the best that I can do

Impromptu, though my rhymes aren't new

Rhymes climb and wave, I've not used half

At least my punchline got a laugh.

-ends- 

I won first place in the Table Topics contest (impromptu 2 minute speech answering a question) at both my London clubs, HOD and Harrovians. At the Area Contest I was placed second.

You Choose Happy Words. Comical Poem 866 By Angela Lansbury.

Angela Lansbury.

Your words will chooose

If our lives meet

Words shake my hand

Or push my feet

Speak with your eyes

Words from your lips

Offer choice, like 

Salad or chips

Good words you choose

Predict we'll meet

Do your words smile?

Your poems greet?

Your poem's just

A set of words

Just one tells me

Should you be heard?

Which mood to choose?

One glance, I'll know

Should I linger?

Or quickly go?

One false, glum word 

And I'll be gone

Say one good word

And I'll stay on

One negative

I turn the page

One happy word

I'll share your stage

Questions can be

Just a decoy

I'm looking for

A word of joy

A happy way

To start my day

Choose win or lose

Your choice, you choose

So I will share

A happy note

To be depression's 

Antidote

Strike out words which

Sound negative

Always end with

The positive

A laugh, a smile

Cheerfully say

I'm glad you stopped

Have a great day

I hope my words

All positive

Will show you how

We all should live

If just one person's

Mood, day, I save

My adult's thoughts

Like one child's wave

Will make you jolly

Happy, and brave

A wave of joy

A summer wave.

-ends-

Autumn has a Smile Day.

I started my day feeling happy. Then I opened the first page of somebody's poem, a depressing rant.  I shut their poem and started my poem. Why should I ruin my day with his or her depressing poem? I thought, I'll write a positive poem, telling other poets politely, to be positive.

Poems and Speeches comical poem 865 by Angela Lansbury

 Good poems should be like fine speeches

Which everyone can remember

Because of the message each teaches

More joy each time it's dismembered

The words should be simple and clear

The thought clear and bright as daylight

Every verse, sentence and word

Should strike major chords when it’s heard

Don't put a foot wrong, nor stay too long

A poem should be like an old friend

Always there when it is needed

But brief, know when meetings should end.

-ends-

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https://hod.toastmastersclubs.org/

Scarecrow. Comical poem 864 by Angela Lansbury.

 My blouse and jacket, both in white

Glow like a beacon in the night

Like a scarecrow designed to fright

Yet welcoming in kind daylight

If I came back as a friendly ghost

A blessing not given to most

I'd like to dress fine as a bride

Whose blemishes the night would hide

I might come back on Halloween

When all the best dressed ghosts are seen

In a contest I'd win the prize

Be named the Queen of Halloween.

-ends-

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Where Has My Spider Gone? Comical Poem 863 by Angela Lansbury.

Bathroom spider's cousin in the kitchen. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

 Alas today my spider's gone

If I see flies, yes, even one

I'll go to my bathroom and mourn

Pray: Dear spider, where have you gone?

Are you hiding in fly spray fug?

Or hiding underneath the plug?

There's nothing that my day will lack

If you, dear spider will come back.

Whilst I am sleeping in my bed

I hope you'll build your spiders web

'though I'm sad when a dinner dies

I wish you health and lots of flies.

-ends- 

Posted with two verses on Friday September 25th. Updated with third verse on Saturday September 26th 2026

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Who Are My readers? - Ask AI. Comical Poem 862 by Angela Lansbury

 

I'm glad to see my readers grow

Numbers of readers, glad to know

What do I do right? Wonder why

I know - I shall ask AI!

Bad news, I do not have a lot

Most of my reader are just bots

But my poems are a success

I've got lots more bots, and not less.

Oops, obviously not less but fewer

Grammarly will correct my grammar

So, why waste - precious hours on this?

Will AI write posts quickly, for a kiss?

-ends-

The Small Spider (In The Bath) - One-sided Conversation. Comical Poem 861 by Angela Lansbury.

Bathroom spider's cousin in the kitchen.  Photo by Angela Lansbury.  Copyright. 

 I saw a spider in the bath

I saw it after I got in!

I do not think the world is fair

I'm being punished for what sin?

I'm being punished for no sin

That's why the spider's very small

And sits unphazed on the white wall

It does not move. It is not scared.

That spider is going nowhere

Agreed. Bath's big enough to share

I'm not sure what we're going to do -

'I'll take a shower - whilst watching you'

I ask the spider,'Go, please go.

I'll stay here, standing by the window

I'll be quick, promise, 2 minute showers

Then you can stay here several hours

'Your presence here is a surprise

D'you realize your job's catching flies?

I don't yet see a spider's web

I hope you're not an empty head!'

How does a spider learn to spin

Instinctive? Or Mum's training him?

'I'll let you go, or stay and lurk

If you catch flies - that's spider work.'

-ends-

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