Daddy Long Legs. Comical poem by Angela Lansbury.

 

A fluttering noise gave me a fright

Noise signals something isn't right

Came into our kitchen last night

Something attracted by the light

Insects don't respond to your tears

I have over my many years

Found how to conquer silly fears

You can run, but I choose to be near

You can talk though it doesn't hear

Say, 'Don't be afraid of me, dear

The one thing which you need to know

Is why I opened the nearby window

'I did it hoping you would go

But I'm still taking photos of you

You don't do what I want you to

You do not seem to have a clue

'Go back the way you got inside

Or join others who died inside

How come that you do not know

Your escape is through the window?

'I even opened up the door

Your biggest danger is the floor

Where accidents likely catch you

With a blow or blind accident shoe.'

All my life I looked the other way

Until I researched them today

If only they and I could speak

Alas they only live one week

That Daddy seeks a Mummy mate

I hope that it is not too late

Before it meets its fated fate

And crosses Daddy Long Legs' gate

What use is it to the universe?

It wasn't born to help my verse!

It's eaten by birds, bats or frogs 

I wouldn't feed it to your dogs

It seems to have some legs to spare

As thin as all my shedding hair

It sheds a leg, though never taught

A quick defence so it's not caught

So if you try to grab a leg

That crane fly will shed its leg

And simply pull and fly away

And live to dance another day.

-ends-

Insects Repelled By Lemon - Tea. Comical poem 788 by Angela Lansbury.

 

When I see insects I don't know

Which of the crowd is friend or foe?

Which moths are fond of eating clothes

Only its friend, the moth God. knows.

The pesky things come in at night

From miles away they see our light 

We open windows for ventilation

And turn into an insect station

A harmless 'daddy longlegs', also more properly called a crane fly. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Some small insects have bitten me

They treat me like I'm family

Obliged to give them lunch and tea

A tasty feast, timeless and free

I need to leave more vital tasks

The web gives answers when I ask

I learned a very simple fact

Flower perfume, I thought attracts

Adoring men to me and you

But alas attracts insects too

Insects don't leave when I tell them

I need to scare them off with lemon

Lemons taste sour, and insects learn

One sniff's enough , they won't return.

-ends-

Useful Websites on Daddy Longlegs

https://thenaturenetwork.co.uk/why-the-daddy-long-legs-is-natures-most-misunderstood-flying-nuisance/#google_vignette

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There's someone for everyone. Comical poem 787 by Angela Lansbury.

 

 Tissue box with gold circles. Photo by Angela Lansbury.

I'm feeling hot, I've got a cold

I'm feeling young but looking old

Terrified inside, acting bold

I'll praise this rubbish 'til it's sold

There's some buyer for everything

There's some suitor for everyone

You just have to keep searching

To find the one 'til the job's done

Cynthia's mother said, 'Never fight

There's plenty more fish in the sea

Don't claim a right, feel jealousy

There's enough for both you and me.'

-ends-

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The Good Listener. Comical poem number 786 by Angela Lansbury.

 

Do you feel that you ought to speak

You've said just proverbs all the week

And when you get a chance to say

What you think, you say cliches

It doesn't matter what you do

If great invention's not for you

Everyone needs one who listens

Small neighbours, big politicians

For many speak and just tell lies

No-one says so until he dies

So kudos goes to you and me

Who didn't say, yes I agree

Some are tall and some are small

Some are wall flowers, some are the wall

Some rise, and speak, and shout, then fall

And the wise ones say nothing at all.

-ends-

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I read a poem to a rose. Comical poem, post 785 by Angela Lansbury.

 

Orange standard rose. London

Photo by Angela Lansbury

 Copyright.

I read a poem to a rose

But what it thought nobody knows

Maybe it thought, 'Is that for me?

I'm the prettiest that can be!

'Please do not read me poems

They take your eyes away

Just sniff and smile and look at me

That's all I have to say

'Do your write poems to daisies?

And dandelions too?

And lupins and the other flowers

Your love for me cannot be true

'You don't really care for roses

You admire the taller trees

It's a good thing I'm not jealous

And I'm easy to please.'

We will never know

If a rose is smart or dumb

There are wicked roses which have thorns

Waiting to prick your thumb

But let us look on the bright side

Be on our dear rose's right side

Petals have their dark and light side

Their perfumed day and night side

A rose, everyone smart knows

Always dresses in her best

Every day, a rose always poses

So photogenic, perfect roses.

-ends-

Poems Are Everywhere. Comical Poem 784 by Angela Lansbury.

I find my poems everywhere.

They seem to hide under my hair.

Each time I sit upon a chair

Each rhyming line begets a pair.

I pick poems like wild flowers

Growing thoughts like April showers

Must stop myself wasting hours

Stacking lines like leaning towers

I've stacks of poems in my head

Bits of them on notes by my bed

For all, new born or wed or dead

I write them down, hope they'll get read

Though fanciful, some parts are true

So they're not plagiarised but new

Each needs one line which sticks like glue

Makes blue days pink, my gift to you.

-ends-

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Remember - too late, someone I never met. Comical poem 783 by Angela Lansbury

 

I've had loads of invitations

About somebody who died

I have never ever met them

They have gone out with the tide

I'm sorry friends are sorry

When someone's died or they are ill

It's too late to wish them well

And I don't wish anybody ill

I'd be pleased to hear about them

If retelling brings no stress

I'm sure you can say something good

About their joys and their success

I am reading what is said of them

Will the same apply to me?

Will I live and die differently?

Oh, well. What will be will be.

-ends-

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