Back To Bed - Mine's The Best. Comical poem 780 by Angela Lansbury

 I lay half the day on my comfy bed

Better than a chair, my feet in the air

On my silk pillow case I lay my head

Supposed to smooth wrinkles, and soften hair

The mattress won't say which way I should lay

Nor when I rise or return, where to go

Sometimes it's lumpy, sometimes it's bumpy

But when I need support, it seems to know.

I see four posters, might like one of those

But my Dunlopillo's the one I chose

It's mine, the one which I know, I possess

My duvet is red, it's just like my dress

A child likes to explore and learns to loan

ay, 'it's mine!', my own, feels 'at home'

I'm not Picasso nor Shakespeare

But I made this, it's mine, it's here

Your own bed, car, father, mother

Your own chair, house, or dress

It's everybody's favourite

'though you'd like more, your own's the best.

-ends-

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If only my teeth could speak. Comical poem 779 by Angela Lansbury

 If only my dear teeth could speak

And tell me what they'd like to eat

And warn me when my broken tooth

In truth will send me through the roof

If only teeth would tell the truth

If only molars were willing

To say if ice cream's good for them

Or leads to needing a filling

In fact my teeth do talk to me

Then tell me if food's hot or cold

If something is stuck between

And if I'm starting to look old

My gums don't complain, they're friendly

Although I often neglect them

I take no notice til they bleed

And the dire dentist inspects them

I wish my teeth were pearly white

And they made me look fantastic

Though one girl who had super teeth

Admitted that hers were plastic.

-ends-

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Who Needs A Nearby Place To Grieve? Comical poem 778 by Angela Lansbury.

 Who do we need a place to grieve

A tombstone, monument with names?

Or tee-shirts, tattoos, names on sleeves

Old pictures in new picture frames

Some like to move old dead away

Cemeteries, later move old bones

Cemeteries car parks, parks for play

Hidden, stored on walls, old tombstones

While some move on, gran's gone away

Graves once a year seclude your tears

Whilst others want the dead to stay

Say angels on shoulders calm fears

Some think souls live and will return

Fly past as short-lived butterflies

(Yet not as bugs in rugs nor worms)

Sweet memories when someone dies

We give them little when they live

Spend our money on us instead

Then spend huge sums on wakes and graves

When it's too late and they are dead

A quick death brings one day of pain

The birth and death dates make a frame

New birthdays, weddings aren't the same

But old pix show joys lived again.

And now money they saved is spent

On building a fine monument

A statue, standing, or reclined

In an upstanding frame of mind.

-ends-

Spike Milligan statue and commentary plaque in park in Finchley, north west London. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

I changed the last line of the penultimate verse

from

But photos show joys lived again

to

But old pix show joys lived again.

Photos is a much better word than the horrid neologism (recently new word) pix. But I wanted to clarify that it is photos of old weddings, not photos of new weddings, which revive happy memories.

I added the last verse when I came back to add a photo on Saturday May 9th 2026.

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That Hat. Comical poem 777 by Angela Lansbury.

See this summer sun hat's wide floppy brim.

I sewed on pink ribbon under my chin. 

I don't want my new hat flying away

On a bike or boat to ruin my day

It could be lifted by a sneaky breeze

If I read, take photos, or a strong sneeze

Where I am going five minutes sewing

Secures my hat for smart outfit showing.

-ends-

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We Do Not Ask! Comical poem 776 by Angela Lansbury

We have never asked to be born

Nor to start young, nor end up old

Yet we can choose to stay timid

Or brave the cold and to be bold.

-ends-

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Words & Signs Warn On The Bus And Train. Comical poem 775 by Angela Lansbury.

One of the joys of modern life

Robots nag like an alert wife

Phone's to do list says: Mow the grass

In five minutes your bus will pass.

ZOOM

Up pops a message about Zoom

Requesting, 'Ma'am, please join the room,'

The word Ma'am tells me caller's Delhi,

Like Bollywood on the telly

BUS

I won't say, 'No. I'm on a bus.'

I never like to make a fuss

I quickly mute, I have no choice

Can't broadcast bus's robot voice

TRAIN

Then next I'm sitting on a train

With groups I'll never see again

Their clothes boast about where they've been

Who they are, and what sights they're seen.

Sweatshirts promoting a group. Photo by Angela Lansbury.

Roller shoes. Photo by Angela Lansbury.

When not on trains some like to run

On sunny days jogging is fun

I saw roller shoes on that train

Which took me out then home again.

-ends-

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How Are You? Comical poem 774 by Angela Lansbury

Angela Lansbury with Union Jack umbrella. Photo by Angela Lansbury. 

 When the English ask, 'How are you?'

They really don't want to know

Everything that's wrong with you 

From left to right, and head to toe

The Brits don't want to know

About short sight and wonky teeth

Miscarriages, car accidents

Skin problems, troubles underneath

Nor morning sickness, a blocked nose

Nor vomiting and diarrhea

Dandruff. Sore throat and hammer toes

Lost weight, lost socks, and broken nose

'How are you'? is just a greeting

So answer, 'very well,' 'great', or 'all right'

Then add, 'how are you?' But neither of you

Should  list aches and pains all the night

I've heard that Russia's different

They tell the truth and want to know

So if you want to tell your troubles, 

That's the place where you should go

Long ago I went to Russia

And I hope I've got this right

'cause when my date asked, 'How are you?;

I talked throughout the night

I told him troubles Brits don't know

Aches and pains, again and again

From left to right, right through the night

From left to right and head to toe

Old-style British are so polite

They'll listen while you talk all night

At dawn, yawn, 'To put things right

Next time, when you're in distress, don't tell me, please call the NHS.'

-ends-

NHS stands for National Health Service.

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