On The First Day Of Christmas Please draw for me by Angela Lansbury

 

I was thinking that songs for children should be up to date and educational. I want to update a numbers song. I thought of the first day of Christmas.

It was published in 1780 so it is out of copyright. There's a website called songfinder. But I decided it was safer to use Wikipedia. I found the words

On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me
A partridge in a pear tree

On the second day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the third day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,

And a partridge in a pear tree. 

On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me
A partridge in a pear tree

On the second day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Two turtle doves,
And a partridge in a pear tree.

On the third day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Three French hens,
Two turtle doves,

And a partridge in a pear tree. 

• four calling birds
• five gold rings
• six geese a-laying
• seven swans a-swimming
• eight maids a-milking
• nine ladies dancing
• ten lords a-leaping
• eleven pipers piping
• twelve drummers drumming

My updated version starts:

On the first day of Christmas please draw for me

A parrakeet in a pear tree

On the second day of mas please draw for me

two cats and two red roses

three dogs with big eyes and tails and noses

four flower posies

five little fishes

six bowls and dishes

Seven swans all swimming

Eight cows and milking

nine children dancing

Ten gymnasts leaping

Eleven pipers piping

Twelve drummers drumming.

During the holidays I went to the park

Just for the afternoon, it soon got dark

We swam in one heated pool

Had a shower to stay cool

We rode on a wooden donkey

And climbed like a real life monkey

We swung on one swing

And climbed up two sets of ropes

We ran through three tunnels

Asked for ice cream, full of hopes

We rode on a little train

Which went round and round again

We saw people walking dogs

And a pond with fish and frogs

We went to soft play at a zoo

Saw an animal or two

I saw one rabbit

Which had a chewing habit

I saw two little sheep

Their white wool was very deep.

It grew dark and we were tired 

From running around with soft toys we'd acquired

And once somebody fell on the muddy ground

For five minutes they cried and wailed a dreadful sound

But their mother gave them a mermaid sticking plaster

And soon they giggled and I heard lots of laughter

And I was yawning and ready for a sleep

At the end of the day and my eyes could hardly keep ...

So we fed the animals some food

But then grandma said we had to go away

So I waved goodbye to pigs and promised

Grinning goats, dears, we'll come back another day.

-ends-

Dears hints at deer.

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The Bathroom Speaks. Comical Poem 851 by Angela Lansbury.

 At night when I take a walk

I dream the bathroom fittings talk

The carpet feels my large warm feet

And comments every time we meet

Imagine fittings don't forget

But love visits and take a bet

'Our room's important, we shall see ...'

'Sh, here she comes to fondle me!' 

'Hooray, householder's coming back.'

'I bet she'll pee,' 'I bet she'll crap'

'The body parts we must not mention

But, ooh, we do love attention!'

'Toilet's important, crushes mush

And has a satisfying flush ...'

'Turn me, I'm ready, here, hot tap'

'Hooray, my turn, she's coming back.

'I'm pretty towel, lovely, soft'

'I'm toothbrush, please lift me aloft.'

'I'm toothpaste, over here, please.

I love it when I get a squeeze!'

'She done, hooray, we all feel rich'

'Lastly, it's me, I'm the light switch

Whether you're clean, or have been sick

I give a satisfying click'

'I hope you like our happy rhyme

Goodbye, householder, till next time!'

-ends- 

Every time I write a poem, I am so pleased with it. I think, all the other hundreds of poems might be forgotten, but this one will be repeated, remembered and repeated, and give pleasure for centuries.

Which poem is your favourite?

I'd love to have a comment from you. Who was it who said, 'writers ask for criticism, but all they want is praise'? 

I asked Gemini. It was W. Somerset Maugham in his 1938 book Of Human Bondage. He wrote: 'when people ask you for criticism, they want praise'.

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The Toy Mouse In The House. Poem Number 850 by Angela Lansbury

Sleeping Unicorn Shoes. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

 Once upon a time, not so very long ago

In a house with big windows lived a happy. little girl

She wore a pink, princess dress, and shoes which looked like unicorns

And had hair with plaits, a fringe, and two long curls

She liked to write the alphabet

And numbers to a hundred, in a large white book

And draw flowers, and houses, colour people with black hair

Eat strawberries, do gymnastics, and microwave cook

She lived in a tall house with steep stairs and red chairs

At school she had lots of friends with yellow, brown, black and red hair

She climbed on frames in the park until it got dark

Walked home past shops with windows around a curvy bend

On a holiday, grandparents took her out for the day

To a sandy beach by a lake, with a pirate ship

She rode on a tiny train which went out, and back again

Then she had a big white ice cream and ate every bit

At bedtime her parents would read her a book

With pictures in rainbow colours, red, orange, yellow, green and blue

Some of the pictures told funny, silly stories

But the best books told you things which you knew were true

Her favourite book was about a mouse

Which had lived in Egypt, thousands of years ago

It was terrified of a tall, black statue of a cat

Which stood by a pyramid, near where the Nile River flows

She imagined the descendants of that small, scared mouse

Lived in the field by the forest, far behind her house

Near to the river, but far from the sea

Where they ran about freely, under a tall tree

At night she dreamed she held, for them, a birthday party

She prepared, cleaned the house, swept, then would bake

Wrap ribbons, tie bows on bead bracelet gifts for dolls and toys

And share with the small mice a nice, large, cheesecake birthday cake

She slept soundly all through the night

When all her fears of monsters drifted on clouds far away

So she woke to see the rain stopped, just lovely sunlight

So she could play outside on a great weekend day

Each day ends with dreams of curved moons and straight sunlight rays

Or playing outside by swings on a great weekend day

Her fearful monsters shrank, and floated off, on clouds far away

She slept soundly all night to end a satisfying day.

-ends- 

Inspired by my extended family. The sandy beach, pirate ship and train were at Ruislip Lido in North West London, England, UK.

A child's bedtime story ideally has soothing sounds and lots of monotonous repetition to lull you to sleep, and ends with an image of somebody sleeping.

Please follow my posts and share with your family and friends, children and adults, the links to my blogs, on travel, dress, and comical poem, links to your favourite posts and entertaining poems. 

My books are on Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk and Lulu.com

You can peep into some of the books online. If you buy a book and see me at a meeting of Toastmasters in Harrow such as Harrovians or HOD, I will sign a copy of the book and write a rhyming couplet for you, or the recipient, in the dedication.

If you want me to write a poem on any jolly subject, please write to me in the comments in this blog. I would love to hear from you.  I have readers from all over the world, the USA, Singapore, Brazil, France, Bangladesh, Vietnam, Hong Kong, India, the UK, and many more countries - amazing, isn't it!

The Lovely Light. Comical poem 849 by Angela Lansbury

 

At night I'm thankful for the moon

But when day comes I'll love the sun

Next day in the hopeful morning

I'm glad to see fresh light's dawning

All day the sun, the same old sun

My same old words, new faces I teach

Each lesson, day, another one

New face, old words, same rules I teach

I like the candle which I rolled

Instead I use electric light

I love the light, so bright and white

The helpful light extends day's fun.

Feet and Toes. Comical Song 848 by Angela Lansbury.

Here's a story you should know

I said hello to my big toe

I have five toes on both my feet

Five plus five is ten, that's so neat

My big toe said I have a twin

We look alike, we're long and thin

Or short and fat, depending how

We stand and how you think of that

I must ask a simple question

I always really want to know

What time is it, do we start now

Where are we going to go?

I have four little friends

They always like to follow me

We like to go out for a walk

Until we stop somewhere for tea

I shall tell you my life story

I've always stayed close to my twin

We're similar but opposites

You may think that I look like him

I'm a very forward person

And I always step out first

Wherever I go, he'll follow

But I mostly get there first.

I like to walk but not to talk

I like to dance, I like to climb

I like shoes and socks and climbing rocks

And having a good time

My friend the head directs me

The head tells me where to go

But the head says I am important

And smiles at me, so that I know.

I may be hidden in a shoe

But I am always there for you

Ready to leap out of your bed

All through life help you get ahead.

-ends-

Please share links to your favourite posts. My poems are in books on Amazon and Lulu with books combining funny poems and advice on structures such as ballads and sonnets and villanelles and writing poems easily in the Poetry Workbook.

AI Challenges Comical poem 847 by Angela Lansbury.

 

Querty keyboard, photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

There's such a fuss about AI

Typing, and books, they, too, were new

I wonder why such an outcry

But sad to say I have a clue

When you are faced with something new

At first you don't know what to do

Challenges big, benefits few

But mobile phones now stick like glue

I love AI and join the queue

But who wrote this, me, it or you?

If I'd briefed it, said what to do

I'd share the credit, that is true.

-ends-

Please share links to your favourite posts. My poems are in books on Amazon and Lulu with books combining funny poems and advice on structures such as ballads and sonnets and villanelles and writing poems easily in the Poetry Workbook.

Night Without Light. Comical Poem 846 by Angela Lansbury

 I knew the time was three a.m.

Everything was dark again

When I wake at night and everything's dark

Darker than trees in a closed park

Darker than streets without any lights

Darker than moonless, cloud-free nights

Darker than oceans of endless deep

Darker than nights of dreamless sleep

So dark that all birds and cats are asleep

Even emails and whatsapp are scared to bleep

Somewhere out there the hiding stars

Like clouds, work done, have all gone home

Leaving me here, all alone

What to wear tomorrow? I can't decide

Every useful thought has died

Even the luminous shoes are hiding

So dark I can't see a single dress

But the lack of light banishes distress

Because everything matches, what could I lack?

My perfect wardrobe's all matching black

All's black as coal in a coal-black sack

The files and socks, the silent clock

But I can tell it's 3 am

Because my black sheets call me back again

I looked for good illustrations

About my poem on black night

I like to end text with happy thoughts

You can't see pictures - they're all white.

Next day in the morning

I can see  that light is dawning

I still need to put on a light

I love the light, so bright and white

At night I'm thankful for the moon

But when the day comes I love the sun

I like the candle which I rolled

Electric light extends day's fun.

-ends-

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My poetry books are on amazon.com and lulu.com/

Extended with the last two verses on Tuesday September 1st 2026.

I rolled the candle at the Headstone event on bank holiday Monday, the previous day.

I have added it as a separate poem.