Where Has My Spider Gone? Comical Poem 863 by Angela Lansbury.

Bathroom spider's cousin in the kitchen. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

 Alas today my spider's gone

If I see flies, yes, even one

I'll go to my bathroom and mourn

Pray: Dear spider, where have you gone?

Are you hiding in fly spray fug?

Or hiding underneath the plug?

There's nothing that my day will lack

If you, dear spider will come back.

Whilst I am sleeping in my bed

I hope you'll build your spiders web

'though I'm sad when a dinner dies

I wish you health and lots of flies.

-ends- 

Posted with two verses on Friday September 25th. Updated with third verse on Saturday September 26th 2026

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Who Are My readers? - Ask AI. Comical Poem 862 by Angela Lansbury

 

I'm glad to see my readers grow

Numbers of readers, glad to know

What do I do right? Wonder why

I know - I shall ask AI!

Bad news, I do not have a lot

Most of my reader are just bots

But my poems are a success

I've got lots more bots, and not less.

Oops, obviously not less but fewer

Grammarly will correct my grammar

So, why waste - precious hours on this?

Will AI write posts quickly, for a kiss?

-ends-

The Small Spider (In The Bath) - One-sided Conversation. Comical Poem 861 by Angela Lansbury.

Bathroom spider's cousin in the kitchen.  Photo by Angela Lansbury.  Copyright. 

 I saw a spider in the bath

I saw it after I got in!

I do not think the world is fair

I'm being punished for what sin?

I'm being punished for no sin

That's why the spider's very small

And sits unphazed on the white wall

It does not move. It is not scared.

That spider is going nowhere

Agreed. Bath's big enough to share

I'm not sure what we're going to do -

'I'll take a shower - whilst watching you'

I ask the spider,'Go, please go.

I'll stay here, standing by the window

I'll be quick, promise, 2 minute showers

Then you can stay here several hours

'Your presence here is a surprise

D'you realize your job's catching flies?

I don't yet see a spider's web

I hope you're not an empty head!'

How does a spider learn to spin

Instinctive? Or Mum's training him?

'I'll let you go, or stay and lurk

If you catch flies - that's spider work.'

-ends-

Please read my other poems and share links to your favourite poems.

AI - Ask Gemini Reviews Angela Lansbury's comic poetry video. Comical poem 860 by Angela Lansbury.

I asked Ask |Gemini to tell 

Me if I'm doing well

I asked it, Have I stuck to themes?

Am I obscure - d'you know what I mean?

I'm so impressed how it can analyse

Does it flatter, or tell me lies?

Or copy from other reviews?

I hope not, 'cos it's all good news

I've good reviews, now I can boast!

AI's read before my breakfast toast

I do not want to be misleading

But at least one robot's reading

What's the next thing I should do?

Put on my book my great review!

'My reader says I'm very funny

I promise I didn't pay it any money.' 

-ends-

AI Gemini reports on Angela Lansbury's comical poetry

AI reviewed an old video on You Tube in which William Brougham interviews Angela. (I must put this in the You Tube comments):

 This video highlights Angela Lansbury discussing her comical poetry, making it a great resource for seeing her approach to verse firsthand:Angela Lansbury’s comical poems—published on her blog—blend playful humor, lighthearted observations, and rhyme-based structures.

Everyday Life & Domestic Humor

Many poems highlight quirky, relatable aspects of daily routines, health, and aging.

Health & Aging: 

Topics range from physical ailments and doctor visits in Symptoms and Pills to humorous reflections on growing older in Do You Look Your Age? and So Expensive - So Cheap.

Home & Daily Quirks: 

Everyday objects take center stage, whether giving a voice to fixtures in The Bathroom Speaks, praising bedroom comfort in Back To Bed - Mine's The Best, or finding humor in fashion and footwear in Funny Hats and Cats and Neat Feet.

Language, Rhyme & Writing

As a prolific writer, she frequently explores the craft of poetry itself, turning the process into a comedic meta-commentary.

Poetic Form & Structure: 

Works such as How To Write The Perfect Poem, Read And Write A Limerick, and How To Write A Sonnet dissect poetic rhythm, syllable counts, and couplets in a lighthearted, instructional style.

Wordplay & Mishearings: 

Poems like Changes: Funny Birds And Words Misheard and Easy German Words With Memory Aids play with language learning, misread phrases, and linguistic oddities.

Travel, Transport & City Living

Travel and commuting offer regular fodder for humorous scenarios and public observation.

Public Transit: 

Poems like The Underground, What You Gain On The Train, and Words & Signs Warn On The Bus And Train capture the shared experience, odd etiquette, and minor chaos of public transit.

Vacations & Journeys: 

From missed trains in I Miss My Train to holiday misadventures in Volcano You Shouldn’t Know and Writers' Holiday, travel provides a vibrant backdrop for unpredictable setups.

Nature, Animals & Whimsy

Lansbury frequently incorporates animals, nature, and imaginative scenarios to create light, entertaining verse.

Animals & Pests: 

Creatures—both beloved and annoying—appear in poems like Are Mice Nice?, Daddy Long Legs, and The Toy Mouse In The House.

Seasonal & Outdoor Themes: 

Short, whimsical observations on nature run through poems like Rain's Good For The Garden, Autumn and Christmas, and I Read A Poem To A Rose.

This video highlights Angela Lansbury discussing her comical poetry, making it a great resource for seeing her approach to verse firsthand: 

Link to Angela Lansbury interview by William Brougham

Poetic Comedy with Angela Lansbury pt 1.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NMZEnsscDA

Please read my other poems and share links to your favourite poems.

First Aid Kit comical poem 859 by Angela Lansbury

First aid kit. Photo by Angela Lansbury.

 I have a first aid kit

But what is inside it?

We should not hide it

High up on the wall

Most days glad to say

We don't need it at all

But for help peep inside

If you have a small fall

The instruction booklet is

Full of surprises

Waterproof sticking plasters

In three handy sizes

I remember from childhood

On a day which was wetter

If I slipped on leaves

Mother's kiss made things better

Think of my poem

What is behind this?

The sunshine of words

Which blow you a kiss.

-ends-

Please read my other poems and share links to your favourite poems.

A Happy Poem. Comical poem 858 by Angela Lansbury

 

I opened a newspaper and read about distress

I opened my wardrobe and saw a pretty dress

Why am I bothered about people far away?

Let them ruin their neighbourhood, not my lovely day 

I ask myself questions to which the answer's yes

Do I see sunshine and flowers? The answer's yes

The Chinese greeting is asking, did you eat?

I forget. Think of chocolate, meringue, shops full of sweets

Let's recap. Is the sun shining? It is. The answer's yes.

Did I eat today? I guess the answer's yes

Forget the past, future, think about this place

Just look in the mirror. Smile at my smiling face.

-ends-

Please read my other poems and share links to your favourite poems.

How To Write The Perfect Poem. Comical verse 857 by Angela Lansbury

Counting on fingers. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright. 

 I write a poem every day

And after ten years I can say

At last I've grasped rhythm and rhyme

Enough to do it every time

I count on fingers eight or ten

Another line, you count again

Like pairs, couplets, each syllable

Fills up the page until it's full

I count syllables in each line

Numbers of lines, complete the verse

Tomorrow will be better still

I'm better if yesterday's worse 

Today I saved myself some time

Before I start, I plan the rhyme

It is amazing what I know

I wish I'd done that years ago!

The alphabet I don't forget

Find rhymes, race through the alphabet

From climb to dine to fine to wine

I now can do that every time. 

Long ago homework was a chore

Counting syllables was a bore

I'm glad to say that now it's fun

So satisfying when it's done.

-ends-

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