Nurse And Friend. My advice. Comical poem 782 by Angela Lansbury. Notes on Numbering Poems.

 When I'm looking for a good friend

I think, 'Am I a useful friend?;

When I am looking at myself

 I check my words show mental health

When I visit a friend for tea

When a friend comes to visit me

When I'm asked around for dinners

Host and guest, are we both winners?

We take our child around to play

Don't want sad tales of yesterday

We want to eat today, and more

Not tears about hunger before

We're ill and call a hospital

We want to meet a smiling nurse

Not one in tears about a death -

An ambulance, and not a hearse

As parent, nurse, doctor, teacher

Writer, author, mentor, preacher

Our job is to give out good news

Not dwell on the unlucky few

If you call me to call today

My reply reflects what you say

If I can hear your smiling face

I'll rush my smiles round to your place.

-ends-

The numbers on my comical poem posts are useful in several ways.

1 They enable me, and you, to find a poem even if I changed the title.

2 They enable me to search for a recent or early poems.

3 I can compare styles and themes of early and late poems.

4 I can keep numerical track of proportions of themes, eg 20 out of 100 poems are on a particular.

 subject.

5 I can see whether I can publish all my poems in one book, or if a book is 100 poems, or 50, or 25, or 250, or a bumper 500, how many books can I publish, taking into account the printer's limit on pages, the cost to me as self-publisher, and the cost to potential buyers. Am I better off publishing an e-book?

6 I can work out how long it would take to read all my poems to select some for a book, the best ones, or those on a particular theme, assuming a theme is easier to sell.

Private bedroom and bathroom. Comical poem number 781 by Angela Lansbury

I used to bath, but baths take too much water

More than a shower for parents and daughter

So now I relax in a nice warm shower

And try not to take much more than an hour

Then, warm and clean I can relax

I exercise lying on my back

I count sheep in French or Spanish

Until the sheep race off and vanish

Four-posters for bedsits? I'd love one of those

Discount Dunlopillo's the one which I chose

I'm allergic to feathers, trust what I possess

My duvet's red, like my favourite night dress

When I am asleep I hope none can see

Into the dream places where I'd like to be.

The bedroom's a place for night time privacy

For big secrets known to small pillows and me.

-ends-

11 syllables per line.

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Back To Bed - Mine's The Best. Comical poem 780 by Angela Lansbury

 

I lay half the day on my comfy bed

Better than a chair, my feet in the air

On my silk pillow case I lay my head

Supposed to smooth wrinkles, and soften hair

The mattress won't say which way I should lay

Nor when I rise or return, where to go

Sometimes it's lumpy, sometimes it's bumpy

When I need soft support, it seems to know.

A child likes to explore, learns to share, loan

'It's mine!', my own, familiar, feels 'at home'

I'm not Picasso nor Shakespeare

But I made this, it's mine, it's here

Your own bed, car, father, mother

Your own chair, house, or dress

It's everybody's favourite

'though you'd like more, your own's the best.

-ends-

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If only my teeth could speak. Comical poem 779 by Angela Lansbury

 If only my dear teeth could speak

And tell me what they'd like to eat

And warn me when my broken tooth

In truth will send me through the roof

If only teeth would tell the truth

If only molars were willing

To say if ice cream's good for them

Or leads to needing a filling

In fact my teeth do talk to me

Then tell me if food's hot or cold

If something is stuck between

And if I'm starting to look old

My gums don't complain, they're friendly

Although I often neglect them

I take no notice til they bleed

And the dire dentist inspects them

I wish my teeth were pearly white

And they made me look fantastic

Though one girl who had super teeth

Admitted that hers were plastic.

-ends-

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Who Needs A Nearby Place To Grieve? Comical poem 778 by Angela Lansbury.

 Who do we need a place to grieve

A tombstone, monument with names?

Or tee-shirts, tattoos, names on sleeves

Old pictures in new picture frames

Some like to move old dead away

Cemeteries, later move old bones

Cemeteries car parks, parks for play

Hidden, stored on walls, old tombstones

While some move on, gran's gone away

Graves once a year seclude your tears

Whilst others want the dead to stay

Say angels on shoulders calm fears

Some think souls live and will return

Fly past as short-lived butterflies

(Yet not as bugs in rugs nor worms)

Sweet memories when someone dies

We give them little when they live

Spend our money on us instead

Then spend huge sums on wakes and graves

When it's too late and they are dead

A quick death brings one day of pain

The birth and death dates make a frame

New birthdays, weddings aren't the same

But old pix show joys lived again.

And now money they saved is spent

On building a fine monument

A statue, standing, or reclined

In an upstanding frame of mind.

-ends-

Spike Milligan statue and commentary plaque in park in Finchley, north west London. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

I changed the last line of the penultimate verse

from

But photos show joys lived again

to

But old pix show joys lived again.

Photos is a much better word than the horrid neologism (recently new word) pix. But I wanted to clarify that it is photos of old weddings, not photos of new weddings, which revive happy memories.

I added the last verse when I came back to add a photo on Saturday May 9th 2026.

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That Hat. Comical poem 777 by Angela Lansbury.

See this summer sun hat's wide floppy brim.

I sewed on pink ribbon under my chin. 

I don't want my new hat flying away

On a bike or boat to ruin my day

It could be lifted by a sneaky breeze

If I read, take photos, or a strong sneeze

Where I am going five minutes sewing

Secures my hat for smart outfit showing.

-ends-

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We Do Not Ask! Comical poem 776 by Angela Lansbury

We have never asked to be born

Nor to start young, nor end up old

Yet we can choose to stay timid

Or brave the cold and to be bold.

-ends-

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