The Lost Poem comical poem 623 by Angela Lansbury

 I had a poem, with great rhymes

Two verses I should have written

But it was not at the right time

'Put that away - it's breakfast time!

Did I write one word, if so where?

I sigh. I search. 'Don't scratch your hair!'

It isn't here. It isn't there.

It's floating somewhere in the air.

Maybe like the sun and the rain

The same thoughts will return again

Next time I'll fight for writers' right

To sacrifice now for later sight

Ease my frustration and my pain

Though others shout, 'Come back to bed!'

I'll capture magic in my head

Face any loss, for fleeting fame.

-ends-

I try to reverse today's thoughts

And hope some glimpse of it is caught

I'm sad to say it's blown away

That pearl, that gem, from yesterday

Sometimes a thought will strike at night

I hope it will last till daylight

Resist the urge to stop and write

Lose sleep to swap for word's delight

The Jasmine Tree & Mrs Li comical poem number 622 by Angela Lansbury

 

Jasmine rose from Wikipedia.

Jasmine Flowers

The bright colours of the flowers 

Evoke sweet smells of Singapore

I could dream of them for hours, 

Deeply inhale them all once more

Jasmine Path

Each day I alked down the hill

Crushed perfumed flowers beneath my feet

One day a lady's cutting them 

 The owner I wanted to meet

I said,' I see you're busy, a big job

I don't want to delay you, but in

But since you've cut some pieces off

Could I, please, take a small cutting?'

The Jasmine Family

She said, 'My name is Madam Li 

But you can call me Mrs Li

In Singapore there's quite a few

You must have heard of Lee Kwan Yew

More in China, and Hong Kong, too

You can spell it Li or Lee

Madam means it's my maiden name

My father's extended family

'A Li is a  plum tree, or white jasmine tree

My late brother planted all these flowers

I've a cutting for you, come inside

He was single, gardened for hours'

Jasmine Memories

'Li, like me, was kind, half-blind, old.' 

One day, her brother's house was 'sold'.

I still dream of that jasmine tree

The sweet smell, my sweet memory.

-ends-

'Sweet smells waft through my memory'?

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Do You Often Sit On The Fence? comical poem number 621 by Angela Lansbury

The Fence. Photo by Trevor Sharot.

Do you often sit on the fence

 Is it hard to make up your mind?

Do you wear one red and one green sock

When caught, pretend you're colour blind

When sandwiches are egg or cheese

You buy or make both, can't decide

Always buy clothes in both colours

Resulting in bills you must hide

Buy things you don't need in the sales

Buy birthday gifts for siblings, doting

And just in case, a dozen pails

Can't decide when you are voting

Buy wall to wall carpet, than add mats

Exercise lots but eat red meat

Regret lost birds but still keep cats

Take seconds, watching what you eat

Play the radio when it's quiet

I don't mean to be unkind

Eat chocolate when on a diet

Maybe you have a butterfly mind.

Do you suffer from indecison

You're dying, dementia, getting old

Does endless debating cause derision

It's a common, sickness, we're told.

-ends-

The Story Of How Our New Fence Is A Ray of Hope, comical poem 620 by Angela Lansbury

 

Our old fence was weak, broken, holed

Ivy webs spread, crawled to hide it

Chipped flower pots sprawled below it

Ivy climbed up pipes beside it

Broken fence. Photo by Angela Lansbury.  Copyright. 

Everything about it shouted

Old people living here are dead

No action moves inside their heads

Their bank accounts are in the red

One weak panel had fallen down

Blown by a storm, hit by hard knocks

Let in burglars, litter, stray dogs

A badger, cat, a mangy fox

We whatsapped, emailed, asked around

Who'll fix our fence and make it sound?

Make it. last, ten years? Even more

Look young and strong, like us before

A neighbour, called, named his high price

('Cheaper's short-lived, though still looks nice')..

His team carted off trunks, twined trees

Swept up weeds, twigs and fallen leaves

Our fence is prim, proper, brand new

Solid - like dry pens? Sticks of old glue?

Like us, proud sign of stern defence

Stiff, steady, ready, our grand new fence!

New fence. 2025.

Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright. 

There's more to do, there's more we lack -

I've problems with my aching back

An x-ray shows no broken bones -

We need to fix those paving stones

But for one ill, an antidote

Today's new sight's a ray of hope.

-ends-

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The Dolls' Clothes comical poem 619 by Angela Lansbury

Dolls' wardrobe. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright. 

I bought a doll with long, blonde hair

A comb, blue eyes,  a tiny nose

Then found it pretty clothes to wear

A turquoise wardrobe housed the clothes

Silver tiaras, scarves and hats

Hidden in drawers in the box

High heeled shoes, sandals, baseball caps

Small mittens, hangers, little socks

Sparkling lace tops, fancy long skirts

Children can spend hours sorting clothes

Red white and blue shorts matched tee shirts

As granny busy with meals knows

She's the grandchild who I adore

But when she left I'm shocked to find

Dolls clothes scattered on the floor

No use pretending I don't mind

At four years old she understands

You put your bricks back in the box

No-one else touches it, 'It's MINE!'

You fight the world with keys in locks

Next time she comes around to play

I'll set my watch to give a warning

Before you leave, tidy away

So enlightenment is dawning

Remember Cinderella's shoe

The moral's clear to me and you

That rushing off will never do

An old adaage which is still true.

-ends-

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The Cat Under My Car comical poem 618 by Angela Lansbury

 

Grey cat. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

The cat was grey, ugly and fat

And growing, old - we're all like that

Today it's not sat on the mat

I guessed that it had not gone far

It slept in warmth under my car

I called, 'Hey, I know where you are!'

It jumped, up, fled, a tail I saw

Wave, inside my home's front door

I went inside - passed, it shot out!

Now every day I've fear and doubt

I know that it is round about

Dear neighbours, please don't let it out.

On Youtube I see kittens

In funny hats, teeny mittens.

One gulps down milk, it licks its fur

Eyes shut, gives a contented purr

For a day I'm sentimental

'Let's buy one?' 'No, Don't be mental

One tame cat will lure a wild friend

And you can guess where that will end

'Two kittens, a menagerie

An all day job for you and me

The vet's visits will not be free!'

'Okay. I'll let that idea be.'

For if I want to see a cat

Chase birds, or mice, even a rat

Loud sound reveals where two cats are

Caterwauling, under my car.

-ends-

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Are You Average? Comical poem number 617 by Angela Lansbury

  When I first heard the word 'average'

I thought, neither good nor bad

When when I was told 'You're just average,'

I thought, not good, and I was sad

 

Then I learned average was middle

Of two opposite extremes

It was also called the median

Whatever median means

When you think of the body

We have ten fingers and ten toes

Two eyes and ears, and smiles and tears

One mouth, two lips, one nose

Most people have ten fingers

But everybody knows

Some off folk have one, or none

Where the lost ones went, no-one knows

The result is, you could say

The 'average' man has five

That's counting those born dead

A thousand years, as well as still alive

So am I brainy, above average?

Depends who you ask. Who knows?

Don't worry. I'm glad to say I've got

The average number of toes.

-ends-