Later. Comical poem by Angela Lansbury

Watch the watch. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright .

'I promise I'll do it - later,'

Means no-one will get the job done

Later is a mythical land

Where neither good nor bad folk come

Later is like a reminder

But alas it will ever come

Like heaven, all wait for later

Where forgotten deeds will be done

At four you think that later's soon

At six it's myth like life on moon

At eighty you no longer care

Later is neither here nor there

Later is a kind of polite

Way of saying, no, not tonight

If later's what they want to say

I don't mind, I live for today.

-ends-

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Happiness Is Shopping Hopping. Comical poem number 792 by Angela Lansbury

 

Happiness is a smart new hat

Happiness is a new soft dress

Happiness is pretty colours

A big, red ring, bound to impress

Happiness is a cute necklace

Happiness is a heart-shaped ring

What I chose for myself, or you

Free gifts, discounts on anything

Happiness is on holiday

Nothing needs to be done today

Happiness is when you and me

Go with the flow and both agree

I'm happy when they speak English

But smile when I say por favor

I've shown goodwill, I spoke two words

And maybe know two or three more.

-ends-

Written in Tenerife, Canary Islands.

Volcano you shouldn’t know . Comical poem 791 by Angela Lansbury

 The Canary Islands started life as volcanoes

Like all islands, millions of years ago

So there's no need to panic

When you learn that they're volcanic

Why did I say no need to panic?

In the long run we"re on Titanic

Some like to know. Go with the flow

But others prefer not to know

I must admit with a sigh

That my years are rushing by

I'm no longet keen on hikîng

Driving, walking. Nor mountain biking

My exercise is not taking a lift

I'm sure you smart folk get my drift

"How are you?', friends want to know

I'm oldet than two years ago

A volcano museum on Tenetife

Was free and fun and a relief

A second free exhibit on honey

Wine tasting with cheese took some money

But on La Palma, I must reveal

How their recent volcano makes me feel

When my friends want to look inside -

Only for those who pay a guide

I'll take photos of those I've known

My hotel could be my new home

I said, 'Stay in the hire car, please,’ 

Mount Teide, Tenerife, Canary Islands. Photo by Angela Lansbury.

But he left with the hire car keys.

-ends-

Photo: Memory of Mount Teide  Tenerife, Canary Islands. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Deadlines - Plan B. Comical poem 790 by Angela Lansbury.

  Don't miss deadlines or your lifelines

Sadly I missed my very first

So I was born Caesarian

My delay had not been rehearsed

Our five-year-old learned about time

She demanded a big pink clock

She watches as the hands turn round

Breakfast, lunch, dinner, school, bed, stop

She asked what is a lifeboat for

We don't want to make her panic

No need to tell her of shipwrecks

Rules dating from the Titanic

We tell her you must have plan B

For each eventuality

If your big boat is stuck on rocks

Go home on small boats pulled from blocks

Another deadline passed today

My poem missed it yesterday

So it will not be in a book

But it's on here, dear, if you look.

-ends-

Daddy Long Legs. Comical poem 789 by Angela Lansbury.

 

A fluttering noise gave me a fright

Noise signals something isn't right

Came into our kitchen last night

Something attracted by the light

Insects don't respond to your tears

I have over my many years

Found how to conquer silly fears

You can run, but I choose to be near

You can talk though it doesn't hear

Say, 'Don't be afraid of me, dear

The one thing which you need to know

Is why I opened the nearby window

'I did it hoping you would go

But I'm still taking photos of you

You don't do what I want you to

You do not seem to have a clue

'Go back the way you got inside

Or join others who died inside

How come that you do not know

Your escape is through the window?

'I even opened up the door

Your biggest danger is the floor

Where accidents likely catch you

With a blow or blind accident shoe.'

All my life I looked the other way

Until I researched them today

If only they and I could speak

Alas they only live one week

That Daddy seeks a Mummy mate

I hope that it is not too late

Before it meets its fated fate

And crosses Daddy Long Legs' gate

What use is it to the universe?

It wasn't born to help my verse!

It's eaten by birds, bats or frogs 

I wouldn't feed it to your dogs

It seems to have some legs to spare

As thin as all my shedding hair

It sheds a leg, though never taught

A quick defence so it's not caught

So if you try to grab a leg

That crane fly will shed its leg

And simply pull and fly away

And live to dance another day.

-ends-

Insects Repelled By Lemon - Tea. Comical poem 788 by Angela Lansbury.

 

When I see insects I don't know

Which of the crowd is friend or foe?

Which moths are fond of eating clothes

Only its friend, the moth God. knows.

The pesky things come in at night

From miles away they see our light 

We open windows for ventilation

And turn into an insect station

A harmless 'daddy longlegs', also more properly called a crane fly. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Some small insects have bitten me

They treat me like I'm family

Obliged to give them lunch and tea

A tasty feast, timeless and free

I need to leave more vital tasks

The web gives answers when I ask

I learned a very simple fact

Flower perfume, I thought attracts

Adoring men to me and you

But alas attracts insects too

Insects don't leave when I tell them

I need to scare them off with lemon

Lemons taste sour, and insects learn

One sniff's enough , they won't return.

-ends-

Useful Websites on Daddy Longlegs

https://thenaturenetwork.co.uk/why-the-daddy-long-legs-is-natures-most-misunderstood-flying-nuisance/#google_vignette

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There's someone for everyone. Comical poem 787 by Angela Lansbury.

 

 Tissue box with gold circles. Photo by Angela Lansbury.

I'm feeling hot, I've got a cold

I'm feeling young but looking old

Terrified inside, acting bold

I'll praise this rubbish 'til it's sold

There's some buyer for everything

There's some suitor for everyone

You just have to keep searching

To find the one 'til the job's done

Cynthia's mother said, 'Never fight

There's plenty more fish in the sea

Don't claim a right, feel jealousy

There's enough for both you and me.'

-ends-

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Buy them for holiday reading.