Colours Collected So Cute comic poem 384 by Angela Lansbury

Purple and Ginger

Colours, colours, what shall I wear?

Glam purple dress - to match my hair

Ginger - fox with mange sheds red hair

I have mixed thoughts I'd like to share

Brown

Brown is the colour of good earth

Tarnished copper coins of low worth

Something someone left in toilets

Recall tastes of fine chocolates

 (Work in progress saved for security. More verses being added in sequence.)

Red

Bright red, blood red, ripe strawberries!

Red means good luck to the Chinese!

Red's revealed in blood orange knife

Red means death - but also means life

Orange

Dark marmalade, juicy orange

Mandarins, for Chinese New Year

Cut and make a mess everywhere

Paper towel - wish you were here

Yellow

Yellow as sun when day's begun

Yellow as sunflower, Van Gogh

Yellow butter makes you fatter

Cheese, too, today doesn't matter

Green

Green as grass and joyful spring leaves

Green as shading leaves on summer trees

Green mint tea, and healthy green tea

St Patrick's, buy rounds - hats are free!

Blue

Pale powder blue, dark navy blue

Turquoise, calm blue but growth of green

Blue as the sea, blue as the sky

I've learned why but still wonder why

Black

Jet black hair, evening wear

Little black dress, black as night

Black for mourning in the morning

Not for weddings, please get that right

Grey

Pale grey hair not bad as you think

Goes with pale blue, and with pale pink

Charcoal grey goes with all colours

Better with some than the others

Pink

Red army uniforms fade pink

Pink was for boys they used to think

Nowadays a young pink princess

Likes to wear a pretty pink dress

Indigo

Indigo, oh, no, I don't know

What colour is called indigo?

Don't buy 'khaki' nor 'indigo'

I learn, and then forget, you know

Rainbow

Rainbows arch high up in the sky

Myths and science will tell you why

Mixed up rainbows are political

Flowers and rainbows - free for all

Gold

White gold, rose gold, every gold

Price high to buy but low when sold

Does not tarnish, wear when swimming

Reward myself for my slimming

Silver

Silver turns black! What should I do?

Rub the ring, it looks good as new

A silver-plated picture frame

Wafer thin! Lacquered, looks the same

White

Wonderful white, bright as daylight

Catching a gleam  like hospital clean

Ending the stumbling in shadowy night

Fridges with food, inviting sight

Yogurt and milk and things of that ilk

Wedding dresses from parachute silk

White carpet shows foodprints which make me cross

Lace tablecloth with holes are no loss.

-ends-

Copyright Angela Lansbury Feb22 2024. You may share a line or couplet providing your mention my name as the author. That would be considered fair use when reviewing. If you wish to recall or direct somebody to the whole poem, please share with friends the links to this post and others on this blog.

English Tweeting Bird comic poem number 383 by Angela Lansbury

 I woke up as the light was dawning

Only six o'clock in the morning

In the bathroom I heard tweet tweet

From a tiny bird out in the street

I said, "Hello,' and then a tweet-tweet

I thought he's so cute and really sweet

But probably calling to his friends

Like police summons, it never ends

I told him, if I may be so bold

I know you're lonely out in the cold

I'll interrupt you, beg your pardon

Feel free to fly into my garden

I love to hear your near tweet tweet tweet

But please don't drop poo onto the seat

Nor on the head of people below

Please tell your friends that I told you so

In my bathroom I did my small wee

Some vulgar people call it a pee

I tell my toddler grand-child wee's twee

I hope you'll agree and copy me

I'm in the bathroom by the bath

Looking through the bathroom window

Wash my hands, smile, give a laugh

But what is on the seat below!

The bird has left there something new

It looks just like some white bird poo

I bang the wondow, crossly shout

The tweeter's gone, to rout about

Later I'll go to clean away

The first outside job of the day

And make the garden clean and neat

Then welcome back the birdy's tweet

It's my first job to clean it all

I must be philosophical

I wish the birds good food to eat

To me - yuk -  worms!  To them it's meat

I, too, must eat, through vegans frown

And when my vegan friend's in town

I stick to eating lettuce leaves

Agree with her so she won't grieve

Then when she's gone, I'm like the bird

Just hop about, unthinking nerd

And eat whatever comes to hand

No planned, whatever's in my land

Drink water, say 'thank you,' and 'please'

The water lubricates your knees

I wickedly eat milk and cheese

Like birds go with the flow and breeze

What goes up must come down, white or brown

What goes around will soon come around

Day after day, birds wee but look sweet

They make my day with their tweet, tweet, tweet.

-ends-

Please share with friends the links to your favourite poems on my blogger post via messanger or to Facebook, Twitter (now X), Instagram, Pinterest and LinkedIn.

https://comicpoemsbynutter.blogspot.com/2024/02/english-tweeting-bird-comic-poem-number.html

Picture of hat for sale on RSPB website.

RSPB is the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds.

https://shopping.rspb.org.uk/gifts-home/clothing-and-outdoor/fashion-accessories/hats/rspb-beanie-2022.html

The colour is rust and the price is 25 pounds sterling. I have a birthday coming up.

Also see poem 400.

For the Sake of Old Time Friends, comic poem 382 by Angela Lansbury

For the sake of our long lost friends

We have' gathered together today

I want to hear news from you all

But first hear what I have to say

Years ago, small, we went to school

Grew, one teenage girl was randy

The boys were always watching her

One of the big boys was handy

Alas, teachers were too trusting

They lacked a basic roll call rule

In a mixed school get mixed up, lost

Facts of life lessons can be cruel

We still can't be sure why she left

Where she hid, holidayed, was sent

Whether the child survived and thrived

What she did later, where she went

We learned a lot of book lessons

Geography and history

Our schooldays were a comedy

A tragedy and mystery

Some questions still are unanswered

We wonder how each story ends

And that is why we gather here

To learn the secrets from old friends

One of them nods, knows a secret

But says,"Yyou must not pass it on

About the people who're long gone

Friends, after all I could be wrong'

Events and faces in my mind

The last names of all, I forget

But one name I remember well

I found him on the internet

He said, 'I can't come to meet you

I'm caring for my frail mother

But I'm still in touch with schoolfriends

I'll link you up with another

That new one led me to one more

I kept on adding, three to four

Then four to five, remarkable

That they're all thriving and alive

So we agreed a month to meet

We fixed a time to eat, mid-day

A half way point, the countryside

Remote, but it was fair, mid-way

When we met at the pub, for great grub,

A guessing game, black hair turned grey

I know the face, forget the name

How did that shy girl reach such fame?

Time to let quarrels be bygones

Now's not the time for raising blame

Now is a good time to lie again

Pretend, 'Old friend - you look the same'

The pub is comfy and cosy

We choose good food but healthy drink

The past we recall was rosy

We don't say the home truths we think

Although now that we're getting old

We're direct, perceptive and bold

We speak warmly, though once were cold

Now fondly embrace all our fold

We never liked uniform dress

We've made mistakes, laugh and confess

We shrug, waiting,  minor distress

We're glad our shared bill's not more, less

'though randy Joe still looks frisky

He's half asleep after whisky

We're no longer bored by the bores

But kindly smile when somebody snores

With laughter and smiles, roll back years

Forget all fears, wipe joyful tears

Goodbye, I hope that when  next year ends

We'll reunite revived old friends.

If stuck in bed, in a bedroom

Then we can meet again on Zoom.

-ends-

I though I would write a revised version of Auld Lang Syne in modern language. However, it turned into a retelling of the delightful reunion in 2003 of my husband's old schoolfriends from a mixed grammar school in London, Viners, in the UK.

Written Tuesday Feb 20th 2023, the first few lines started as I lay in bed in the early hours of the monring. Fortunately I got back to sleep, but was able to re-create the opening and reach a satisfing ending next afternoon. Copyright Angela Lansbury. But please share with friends links to this post.

Photo of a xoom toastmasters meeting reuniting Angela In London with others in Singapore.

 

Couples Coupling To Solve Life's Jigsaw Puzzle, comic poem 381 by Angela Lansbury

 

Wedding palace in Albania, photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

All over the world couples are coupling

Two's better than one, one's better than nothing

Some hide themselves behind a wall

But others want to tell it all

Most times I like your face, body and mind

But once in a while I think I was blind

You wore a smart suit on our wedding day

It went back to the hire shop the very next day

We try to buy wisely, we struggle and sell

We pretend to the world it's all going well

The old folks died and went to heaven

While the youngsters argue in self-made hell

Our moods go up, our moods go down

From so high it hurts when you hit the ground

We fly to the sun, come back to the rain

We save a fortune, spend all, so must save again

Our life is like a song's refrain

It's easier to say the same things again

Your Mum thinks you're better than all the others

We both think our Mum's better than yours and all others

We wish we had more support from sisters and brothers

We seek solace in potential lovers

Then we realise we must compromise

Now we've become fathers and mothers

Like a jigsaw showing all kinds of weather

All the pieces come together.

Some say the whole things follows a plan

Some say each piece is put in by man

Some say rush in and race to the end

Some say take it slowly, team work with a friend

Life starts as a mystery and a muddle

Yet fits together like a jigsaw puzzle

You can wonder why, or smile, or sigh

Just be satisfied you completed life's puzzle.

-ends-

-ends-

Sleepless Secrets comic poem number 380 by Angela Lansbury

Last night i wen to bed

And tossed and turned my head

I couldnt get to sleep

Although I did the usual things

Which internet advice now brings

Like having sex and counting sheep. 

Creaking radiators, spiders on the walls

It's an omen, my computer calls

I thought it best to not waste time

On useles things, although they please

In stead I rose and washed soem clothes

And learned six words of Japanese

You'd think that some kind deity

Would give me a reward

Perhaps I'll get it later

If St Peter keeps a record

I suppose I''ll have to wait

Until I get to heaven

TodayI woke up late

Athough my sleeping hours hit seven

It really isn't good to wake 

At nine, ten or eleven

Now I'm feeling so tired

That I cannot cook an egg

Though I'm very pleased to say

I can still stand on one leg

Although I'm doing some things wrong

I'm getting others right

Although my morning after poem

Has intonation that's erratic

I've piled on lots of rhymes

Built like a wall of wonky bricks

Google sends readers at all hours

To shake their heads at me

There will always be a market

For a poem, if it's free

And if by midnight tonight 

I duly go to bed

I've near twenty-five good years

Until I reach a hundred!

-ends-

copyright Angela Lansbury Tuesday 13th 2024

i changed cannot boil an egg to cannot cook an egg because I had a picture of another type of egg. I lost the shock value of not even being abe to do the simplest kinds of egg. But I gained Cannot cook which is alliterative.

What's So Funny? Comic poem 379 by Angela Lansbury

 

 Chaplin puppet from Wikipedia on Chaplin.

What do you think is funny?

Is it standing on your head

Now that's a funny phrase

To keep you tossing in your bed

Some jokes give you a fright

Or keep you awake for half the night

As you ponder over puns

If you're the serious one

Now toddlers like a tickle

And toddlers like a giggle

Yet I'd slap tickling friends or stranger

Who protests ladies are fickle 

I don't like wandering hands

 I don't like loud, popped balloons

But I laugh at stranger's English

And an off-key old guy who croons

The secret of good comedy

Is raised eyebrow and the pause

It's all in the delivery

Which gives stand-ups aplause

If you repeat the stories

Which once made others smile

You will start to see a pattern

In a little, or long, while.

-ends-

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Less and Few - comic poem 378 by Angela Lansbury

 Someone used less instead of few

Neither they nor anyone else knew

The diff'rence, except, me and you

Out of the whole world only two

That is far too few, far too few

Two is too few, just me and you

We sigh, and cry, we wonder why

What can we do? What should we do?

Most people do not have a clue

If you can count them, there are few

But countless amounts are more or less

What a to do, and so much stress

Nowadays We hear the word like

Both on the bus and at the mike

And actually is scattered like confetti

Literary, not literally literally

You weigh more or less on the scale

Counting amounts, weight turns you pale

But the phrase which causes most distress

I confess, is just more or less.

-ends-

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