My Latest Prayer comical poem 875 by Angela Lansbury

 All day I'm asking God for things

All night a constant list of prayers

But just like when I go shopping

I forget the most important things

And leave that vital list on the chair

Yesterday I asked for something big

Please send me a millionaire

I knew it was important

To clearly specify

He has to be keen on me

No one night stand, just passing by

I do not want a burglar

I do not want a gangster

I do not want a gambler

Nor a smoker, vegan, or prankster

He must be in good health

And take care of his wealth

And have all his teeth and hair

He must be willing to share

And he must not swear

He must like good food and wine

I still want all the other things

On my long shopping list

Lots of love and hugs

And be cuddled and kissed

Keep me safe from fire and flood

From car crashes and plane smashes

He must like good food and wine

And having a good time

Avoid sinking ships, diseases of the blood

I know that I must pay my way

Give something in return

Not drop litter, do the washing up

Remember foreign words I've learned

Make sure the dinner doesn't burn

Do exercise and brush my teeth

And wash my face and hair

Dear God are you listening

Dear God - are you there?

I'm not childish, nor unreasonable

Wicked or irreligious

I've noticed believers say it every day

They mention God all the time

In every sentence that they say

Whether they are healthy,

When they are ill

Jews, Arabs, dancers in Brazil

Yes, sexy Brazilian couples, too

They say, God willing, just listen

You know it's true, it's a usual thing to do

So I hope you'll understand

If I share my little prayer

May I live to be a hundred - and send me a millionaire.

PS Make that a millionaire

In pounds, Euros, or US dollars

Not in rupees, or currencies

Whose promises are hollow

I'm not in any hurry

Any time tomorrow

PPS

Please don't hurt my husband

He'll do fine for now

Any time in the next ten years

I'm sure you'll work it out, somehow

PPPS

I know you are a kindly God

Won't stress us, for you care

So just send me a billionaire

Who wants to have an affair.

-ends-

The Visitor. It won't be long. Comical poem 929 by Angela Lansbury

 

Clock watched. Photo by Angela Lansbury.

It won't long now, you are on the train

It won't be long now, you will catch a plane

The Bus Driver In The Rain. Comical poem 731 by Angela Lansbury

Open top hop-on Hop-off Bus big-bus.com  and National Express intercity coach on a rainy day.

I'm waiting, in rain, for a bus 

It seems like waiting bloody hours

Long enough to wilt my flowers

Chat to strangers, don't make a fuss. 

I never moan nor do I cuss. 

It's not a late plane, just a bus

Great colour, yellow, blue or red

So I'll think happy thoughts instead.

Hello, here comes my lovely bus

It's such a beautiful big bus

I smile at all glum bus drivers

They and I are all survivors

Traffic jam delays, driving rain

Despite bus lanes, each day's the same

So, don't waste time in complaining

Work, smile all day, go round, again.

The best passengers say, 'Thank you

Driver!' You would never believe

How many, cheery, wave and smile

'Bye, bus driver!' as they leave.

-ends-

Dear Little Children, Trust Me . Comic poem by Angela Lansbury number153

Children learn when you pinch toy rabbits they squeak

They live forever, without food, many weeks

You can shout at a toy, but it never speaks

We search the wide world, but don't know what we seek

All the world's dear little children

Think the clouds and the sky hide a heaven

And after we die - as we all might - one day

We all go to heaven, not the other way. 

And all the good parents

That's me, them - and you

Won't spoil adult kids' fun and say it's not true

For that would cause a most dreadful to do 

And all the nursery's soft, cuddly bears

Give the impression that bears have blank stares

And love to be cuddled

No scientist cares, nobody dares

Yet one day kids ask why

Birds fly through the sky

I can't explain the thunder and rain

Or how a young pilot can fly a large plane

So we all pretend til the day that we die

With hopes flying high

All adults are children, so don't ask why

We pretend, we believe, you can see through the sky.

-ends-

copyright Angela Lansbury Monday 2nd August 2022

Talk To Whom? Listen To Me!

 

Angela Lansbury <annalondon8@gmail.com>	00:53 (10 hours ago)
to me

A thousand people read my blog

And treat it like the word of God

The source of health, the source of wealth

'til they convert to something else

I make them vow that they'll come back 

Before I send them on their way

Yes, I've true words which must be heard

I'm never short of things to say

You can write your hopes on the train 

And pray to all gods on the plane

Your hope that you will land again

Pray to clouds for more or less rain

If your room, money, wife or life

Is muddled, mangled, in a mess

Why should the universe send help

It shrugs and won't care more, or less

You can talk to the sun, send mail

Write to Santa, sing to the sky 

Run down the street, stop passers-by 

And ask them why the end is nigh

Do no exaggerate your fate

Nor underestimate life's wait

Powerful praise can raise dim days

So do not curse the universe

In the tropics, see no seasons

Proves nothing's done, for good reasons

Then when I'm dead just talk to me

I promise I won't disagree

Every parent's a great teacher

Passing lies like a good preacher

All wise books, websites and pages

Knock down sages of past ages

Don't ask why? Why not? Do not ask

But every day, do each small task

Small troubles? Darling, you'll be fine

Big ones? Not me - call 999 

I shout to God, 'Don't let me die!'

I don't expect a quick reply

Just because I'm in a tizzy

Doesn't mean karma's not busy

Then when I'm dotty, deaf and blind

What can I hope to leave behind?

Framed photos all around the home

A message on a mobile phone

If I want immortality

My best hope's pretty poetry

To leave last words, witty, pearly

One must write one's last words early

Please, when I'm dead send me huge hugs

Warm wishes wrapped in Chinese rugs

Smile at the poster in my hearse:

Goodbye dear Queen of nonsense verse.

By now you have guessed my intent

To make sure you leave here content

Now's the time to state my mission

End works with a happy vision

If there were heaven, I'd be sat

With orchids on a golden throne

Eating bagels and smoked salmon

Smiling like a Cheshire cat.

-ends-

About the author

Angela Lansbury B A Hons ACG ALB PM5 EH5 DL5 VC5 
The Author of several books, including  Etiquette For Every Occasion. Wedding Speeches & Toasts. How to be the Best Man. Quick Quotations. Who Said What When.

Blogs travelwithangelalansbury.blogspot.com

dressofthedayangela.blogspot.com

translateforfun.blogspot.com

Braddell Heights Advanced Toastmasters Speakers Club Vice President Public Relations (VPPR), Previous President

Join BHA 1st Wednesday 7pm and 3rd Saturday 2 pm Singapore time 

Vice President Public Relations (VP PR) of Tampines Changkat Advanced;

Secretary of weekly online Singapore International Dynamic Toastmasters Speakers’ Club;

Member and past president of Harrovians toastmasters club, UK; Past member of HOD Toastmasters, London. Past member in Singapore of: Toastmasters Club of Singapore (TCS); Tiarel; and Senja Cashew.

More details from Toastmasters International find a club.

Regular attendee at annual Swanwick Writers’ School, England.

Regular attendee at annual Writers’ Holiday, Wales.

Contributor to poetry readings, and after tea courses on: Speaking On Radio To Promote Books; and Plots And Character.

Winner of many club and area speaking contests in the UK and Singapore.

Language advisor to Empire Toastmasters club in Indonesia.

Language and speech workshops in Singapore.

Speaker on radio and TV in England, Scotland, the USA, and Australia.

Compiler of a school course on public speaking for teachers to prepare pupils for school open days with attending ceremonies before government ministers, Singapore.

Former member of Harrow Writers’ Circle, London, and two writing groups in Singapore.

Angela is on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Pinterest, Twitter. She would be delighted to link up with new friends.

 Please share links to your favourite posts.

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