My Garden Is Zoo comical poem 635 by Angela Lansbury

 My garden is a zoo

It grows and grows and grows 

How dozens of weeds found us

God only knows

We have birds and sqirrels

Often a cat, once a lost dog

A dear little hedgehog

And a toad - or maybe frog

Although the yearly survey

Reveals sad loss of birds

I hear owls and see a woodpecker

My neighbout saw an escaped deer, I heard

Next door both sides throw bread for birds

They kindly throw it out and chuck it all around

I have broken, empty birdboxes instead

Lawn mowing noise and rain lure millions of worms from my ground

I'm glad to say no cockroaches any day

But a wasps' nest, a butterfly and some kind of bee

I don't need a lesson in biology

I've the lifetime of the maggot in every apple on my tree

Sometimes I plan to picnic, or read a book

But a movement in the distance makes me stop warily to look

Like lounge grabbers by hotel pools, I see a sunbathing fox

I retreat to the house, shut windows, kitchen door, patio door's three locks

Every day something dies and something is born

Squirrels burying threatening acorns in small hills in the tripping lawn

A small garden, but, like persistent dodging fleas find, land and breed on my dinner plate

The tinest garden teems with life every dawn.

My garden's like a zoo, breeding endangered creatures

But I am not in a rage

I like to watch my visitors

I'm the biggest attraction, in my cage.

-ends-

I ought to edit this so that every line has the right number of syllables, sounding sweet and neat. But I rather like it as it is, jumping about, in a disjointed, flippant, conversational style, full of asides and jolting, out of control afterthoughts.

Which are my favourite lines? The sunbathing fox. How kiasu, as Singaporeans say, getting ahead of me, fear of missing out, got there first, - like holidaymakers putting towels on loungers around hotel pools at dawn.

I also like the dodging fleas.  The comparison of the garden being small, yet teeming with life, breeding like fleas on leftovers, or even while you are eating, over a dinner plate.

Best of all, the biology lesson from the maggots in the apple tree, a lesson in every apple. As they say, telling me without telling me. 

Praising the lesson, whilst obviously really not pleased about maggots.

And the overall idea of a garden being a zoo, which is well organized with every animal and insect labelled. Boasting, proudly, but revealing that the plants and insects in the garden arrive at random,unplanned, unwanted, over-breeding, escaped, sending the householder into the house like a cage.

I think this is the best thing I've ever written. But I alway think that after every poem. And every book.

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The reasons for the seasons 634

 There' s a reason for each season

And every spring small birds will sing

In summer time as parents know

Red, white, pink,yellow roses grow

As a rule children go to school

Learn to cover books, wash their hands

Open windows to keep us cool

Learn about life in other lands

Granny teaches don't say never

But I cannot live forever

Every year some old folk have gone

But babies are born and life moves on

Winter sometimes brings us snow

Put on your boots and off we go

Spring time brings us refreshing rain

So we get to see new flowers again

Forget the past, not all things last,

We need to say, enjoy today

For every season there's a reason

Look around, our earth is heaven.

-ends-

633 Everybody Knows

 When you are beween Seven and Eight

As everybody knows

You get a lot pleasure from

Washing your face and counting toes

You get a lot of pleasure

From tying a shoe lace

From pulling on elastic

And feeling a piece of lace

Others like to measure you

See if you're small or tall

When really the important job

Is fixing magnets on a wall

From pouring a glass of water

Making a cup of tea

From looking in a mirror

Thinking that nice person's me

From seeing younger people

Have got left so far behind

Unlike you, the elderly

Are limping, deaf and blind

Now I'm in my second childhood

Between seventy and eighty

The tiniest of tirumphs

Solve problems which seem weighty

Politics and religion

Are strange, irrelevant beliefs

What''s import is a full night's sleep

And did I clean my teeth?

A granny and a grandchild

They both understand

That life's most important question

Is, will you hold my hand?

-ends-

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Wine And Dine O'clock comical poem 632 by Angela' Lansbury

Morning At Ate O'clock

I'm always in the mood for food

It's necessary and does you good

My husband's joke on wine o clock

Started a poem I can't stop

 I rise early often at six

To eat my morning wake-a-bix

It's time for water, not yet wine

Seven's my first brekoffee time

But then at eight it's eight a break

You have to wait

And weight yourself

 No-eating break for losing weight

I kick the kilo readout with incredulous sorrow

And note in my diary, diet -  tomorrow

Eight's known in dialect as eat-a clock

But Americans call it wheat o'clock

You might snack on your rice crispies

Like healthy vegan vegetime with beans and peas

After you've had your yog-a clock

You could set off for your jog a clock

For some lunch time is sandwich time

Ladies who lunch, schoolchildren dine

From fruit o'lock to soup o'clock

At twelve a buffet delve o'clock

Afternoon At Tea O'clock

Already hungry three o'clock?

Then have an early tea--clock

Stricly bee time, not a sea time

Strictly vegan, milk-free, mint and pea time

There's one event no child will knock

It's chocolate birthday cake o'clock

You might be wondering why, dear cock

They do not call it higher clock

Tea'time's replaced by coffee-clock

I'd rather have cakes choc-a block

Instead pf shopping round the block

Cook banoffee and toffee-clock

In Scotland where bodies are mighty

They have a huge five o clock High-tea

Plan snacking on some sweet nuts and dates 

A nice time with riectime on dinner  plates

Evening Around Wine O'Clock

At six it's aperitif-a clock

Andcock a clock for cocktails

Instead of food hich is hearty

In England there's a food-free sherry party

At eight bubbly at Champagne-o'clock

Before the piled dinner plate o'clock

Theres the meet and greet o'clock

Then the all you can eat o'clock

The Spaniards all eat late o-clock

They dine at nine for wino clock

But then again there's ten a clock

For cok au vin and parties for hen o'clock 

At eleven washing up o clock

Also known as clear up and clear off a clock

Now restaurant ban smoke a clock

Wwe used to have a late night coco clock

At midnigh there's no need to stop

Finally there's midnight snack oclock

And then we go to sleep to dream

Of all the food we've ever seen.

The body's a ong food and water pipe

Put it in and let it churcn around at night

In the morning the body can hail and rain

Make room for filling up again

That's why I've different times on clocks

And take away bags in my socks..

If alllergleis don't do you harm

Wake up for food with your phone's food alarm

A mobile's phone's main use I feel

Until those hunger pains get rea

You did not eat for hours - what shock!

Make sure you do not miss a meal

Make sure your phone has not been locked

But wakes each hour for food o'clock..

.

-ends-

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Swim With Me comical poem 631 by Angela Lansbury

 I can't remember being a baby

Although therapists tried hard

I re-read diaries, Dad's obituaries

Like a stranger's nostalic birthday cards.

I'm like making an ice cube

Like making a cup of tea

Every minute you are changing

By your look, you're changing me.

You can change with criticism

You can change with smiles and praise

You can just accept what is, it is

Moments of brief joy in all our days.

-ends-

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The Bigger Mouse Two-Timing Cat With The Second Home comic poem 630 by Angela Lansbury

Cat come to visit us. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

 

In my neighbour's conservatory we sat

Three ladies lunching having such a friendly chat

Creeping through the garden comes my neighbour's tabby cat

I adopted, she claims, this stray, hungry cat

I feed him each day, she joyfully says

At breakfast, the eating race, he's the winner

The other lady gasped, 'I'm shocked, not your cat!

He's mine, calls home promptly at nine for dinner!

The householder's husband, hears and sneaks outside

Pretends to do washing up, like a clean cat

'Cats and men are the same, two timers, I say,'

My two lady friends are laughing, flushed, blushing.

-ends- 

This is a revision of verse 508 called Catatonic.

Bigger mouse is a pun on bigamous.

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Midnight Date comical poem 629 by Angela Lansbury

 At midnight to our delight

We wave goodbye to today

So I can sit up til twiight

Not wasting time today

However, on the other hand

Things did not go as we had planned.

I must announce with sincere sorrow

Today has become tomorrow

Now just a minute

Yesterday, has not become today

But also tomorrow

Has now become today

This is a linguistic problem

Which will not go away

And now tomorrow's things to do

Tomorrow means today

No more procrastinating

Today I must be brave

And use buttons and ribbons

And new shirts I had saved

I kept them for a rainy day

But the rain has not gone away

I might never get to wear them

If I don't wear them today

But lets look on the bright side

And make the inside outside

Today will soon be in the past

The days are runnying past so fast

I do not have a wedding

A funeral or crisis

Give it a rest, I'll wear my best

And see that this day nice is.

-ends-

Copyright Angela Lansbury. 2025. July 26th.

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The Victim's Revenge comical poem 628 by Angela Lansbury

 The victim's statement in the court

May tell only of how they're fraught

But now be glad the villain's caught

May their sorry life come to nought

At the end, how much did they gain

Why adding to the world's pointless pain

The contrast picture you can paint

Is your rogue  loved one as a saint.

-ends-

Copyright Angela Lansbury. 2025. July 26th.

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Deception Rejection, Recollection, Selection comical poem 627 by Angela Lansbury

 Some say life's a river, some say life's a stream

Some say all's for a reason, others, there's no scheme

Some say it's all conspiracy

Words hide half of what they mean

Everybody has at least one story to tell

Thoughtful wise ones of all ages

Divide life into fixed stages

But say the best revenge is living well

Dramatise the ups and downs

Into scenes with frowns and clowns

Keep the story spnning round and round

Everywhere delights of days and nights are found

The bad, the sad, the mad, the glad

The boy and girl, the mum and dad

The older and the younger, the enemy and friend

Choose your last words, make your happy end.

-ends-

Copyright Angela Lansbury. 2025. July 26th.

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My Thousand Lives comical poem 626 by Angela Lansbury

 I am a person who has lived a thousand lives

I've learned a thousand new facts

Ignored a thousand old lies

I'm like a thousand white clouds floating past blue skies

I am not the person who I saw yesterday

In mirrors and in photographs

That stranger's fading far away

I'm someone else, changing today

I've seen warm sunshine and felt cool, refreshing rain

I've felt exquisite pleasure and excruciating pain

Some things keep repeating, others never seen again

But always something new, so I don't complain

Not healthy and strong like when I was young

Yet not so ill as others, the worst case in a distant place

Not allergic to everyone, My time has not yet come

There's still some fun, so much more to be done

I've paid a lot of bills but they keep sending me more bills

I've taken lots of pills and if I must I'll take more pills

And as circumstances change I must rewrite my will

I've not yet had enough, 'though I've had my fill

I've grown taller, but got smaller

I've grown fat and I've grown thin

I've flown half way round the world

Today I've chosen to stay in

I've eaten a lot of new food

I have paid a lot of cooks

I have read a lot of books

And I've written lots of books

I was younger, now I'm older

I was warmer, now I'm colder

I was scared but now I'm bolder

Full of passion, now just smoulder

I am smiling, but tomorrow

I may be full of sorrow

You won't find the same person

If you wait until tomorrow

Every day is something new

Each week, seven days to gain

The mystery of it all

Is too hard to explain

My childhood is far behind

But the sun is in the sky

And the light's a delight so

I won't waste time wondering why

In some ways I'm better

In some ways I am worse

I will always be a small blessing

Facing life's big evolving curve and curse

I am sending you this message

Not snappily but happily to say

Please meet me and greet me

To learn how I'm unique, today.

-ends-

Copyright Angela Lansbury. 2025. July 25th.

Reddit · r/Stoicism

40+ comments · 4 years ago

"A man cannot step into the same river twice, because it is not the same river, and he is not same man." -Heraclitus. Quote.

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Pills and Problems comical poem 625 by Angela Lansbury

 

I have big pills, and small pills

Small brown pills and big white pills

Plus take four times a day pills

Add morning, noon and night pills

I read: take them with water

Chewable, and, do not chew

Be careful take the right pills

Please say what patients should do

One pill a day's a challenge

I'm now taking more than six

I'm in such a dreadful muddle

Which  labels on each pill could fix

I have written down the times

And each pill name on the list

But now I've lost the paper

Which vital  pill have I missed?

If I miss a pill, I know

Because I'm in dreadful pain

I read the long instructions

With care, again and again

I'm tired from all this reading

The small print makes me suspect

That hating taking good pills

Is the biggest side effect.

-ends-

-ends-

New Day's Delights Returned From Hospital comical poem 624 by Angela Lansbury

 The dark night doubled each small pain

How good to see sunlight again

Home's silk pillow supports my head

The hospital begrudged a bed

From my curtained bedroom window

I can spy on the waking street

Like an animated painting

Of folk we'd love to greet and meet 

People march past without stopping

A gardener starts to cut the grass

Children off to school are hopping

Women with tote bags are shopping

Turning, whirring, bicycle wheels

A passing, busy, business car

New neighbours I don't yet know

I gaze and wonder who they are

I see passers-by parading

Preoccupied, they don't see me

It's like a free morning film show

Watching all day repeats is free

My new wheelchair's free

Borrowed, black paint

It folds, - and unfolds

My kind neighbour's a saint

Later I'll find a comb somewhere

I'll brush my teeth and comb my hair

And grateful for these tiny pleasures

Know my small home's crammed with treasures.

To halve the pain I've doubled pills

Maybe I should update my will

I'm better - bravely opened bills

I'll pay them later, sure I will

What a great start to a brand new day

Breakfast in bed, on a coloured tray.

My tummy wanted chocolate

My broken tooth said, 'No toffee!'

Someone else made breakfast

I said, 'Thank you for the coffee!'

-ends-

Breakfast in bed.

Coffee cup on coloured tray.

Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright .

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The Lost Poem comical poem 623 by Angela Lansbury

 

Angela with magnifying glass. Photo by Angela Lansbury. 

I had a poem, with great rhymes

Two verses I should have written

But it was not at the right time

'Put that away - it's breakfast time!

Did I write one word, if so where?

I sigh. I search. 'Don't scratch your hair!'

It isn't here. It isn't there.

It's floating somewhere in the air.

Maybe like the sun and the rain

The same thoughts will return again

Next time I'll fight for writers' right

To sacrifice now for later sight

Ease my frustration and my pain

Though others shout, 'Come back to bed!'

I'll capture magic in my head

Face any loss, for fleeting fame.

-ends-

I try to reverse today's thoughts

And hope some glimpse of it is caught

I'm sad to say it's blown away

That pearl, that gem, from yesterday

Sometimes a thought will strike at night

I hope it will last till daylight

Resist the urge to stop and write

Lose sleep to swap for word's delight

The Jasmine Tree & Mrs Li comical poem number 622 by Angela Lansbury

 

Jasmine rose from Wikipedia.

Jasmine Flowers

The bright colours of the flowers 

Evoke sweet smells of Singapore

I could dream of them for hours, 

Deeply inhale them all once more

Jasmine Path

Each day I alked down the hill

Crushed perfumed flowers beneath my feet

One day a lady's cutting them 

 The owner I wanted to meet

I said,' I see you're busy, a big job

I don't want to delay you, but in

But since you've cut some pieces off

Could I, please, take a small cutting?'

The Jasmine Family

She said, 'My name is Madam Li 

But you can call me Mrs Li

In Singapore there's quite a few

You must have heard of Lee Kwan Yew

More in China, and Hong Kong, too

You can spell it Li or Lee

Madam means it's my maiden name

My father's extended family

'A Li is a  plum tree, or white jasmine tree

My late brother planted all these flowers

I've a cutting for you, come inside

He was single, gardened for hours'

Jasmine Memories

'Li, like me, was kind, half-blind, old.' 

One day, her brother's house was 'sold'.

I still dream of that jasmine tree

The sweet smell, my sweet memory.

-ends-

'Sweet smells waft through my memory'?

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Do You Often Sit On The Fence? comical poem number 621 by Angela Lansbury

The Fence. Photo by Trevor Sharot.

Do you often sit on the fence

 Is it hard to make up your mind?

Do you wear one red and one green sock

When caught, pretend you're colour blind

When sandwiches are egg or cheese

You buy or make both, can't decide

Always buy clothes in both colours

Resulting in bills you must hide

Buy things you don't need in the sales

Buy birthday gifts for siblings, doting

And just in case, a dozen pails

Can't decide when you are voting

Buy wall to wall carpet, than add mats

Exercise lots but eat red meat

Regret lost birds but still keep cats

Take seconds, watching what you eat

Play the radio when it's quiet

I don't mean to be unkind

Eat chocolate when on a diet

Maybe you have a butterfly mind.

Do you suffer from indecison

You're dying, dementia, getting old

Does endless debating cause derision

It's a common, sickness, we're told.

-ends-

The Story Of How Our New Fence Is A Ray of Hope, comical poem 620 by Angela Lansbury

 

Our old fence was weak, broken, holed

Ivy webs spread, crawled to hide it

Chipped flower pots sprawled below it

Ivy climbed up pipes beside it

Broken fence. Photo by Angela Lansbury.  Copyright. 

Everything about it shouted

Old people living here are dead

No action moves inside their heads

Their bank accounts are in the red

One weak panel had fallen down

Blown by a storm, hit by hard knocks

Let in burglars, litter, stray dogs

A badger, cat, a mangy fox

We whatsapped, emailed, asked around

Who'll fix our fence and make it sound?

Make it. last, ten years? Even more

Look young and strong, like us before

A neighbour, called, named his high price

('Cheaper's short-lived, though still looks nice')..

His team carted off trunks, twined trees

Swept up weeds, twigs and fallen leaves

Our fence is prim, proper, brand new

Solid - like dry pens? Sticks of old glue?

Like us, proud sign of stern defence

Stiff, steady, ready, our grand new fence!

New fence. 2025.

Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright. 

There's more to do, there's more we lack -

I've problems with my aching back

An x-ray shows no broken bones -

We need to fix those paving stones

But for one ill, an antidote

Today's new sight's a ray of hope.

-ends-

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The Dolls' Clothes comical poem 619 by Angela Lansbury

Dolls' wardrobe. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright. 

I bought a doll with long, blonde hair

A comb, blue eyes,  a tiny nose

Then found it pretty clothes to wear

A turquoise wardrobe housed the clothes

Silver tiaras, scarves and hats

Hidden in drawers in the box

High heeled shoes, sandals, baseball caps

Small mittens, hangers, little socks

Sparkling lace tops, fancy long skirts

Children can spend hours sorting clothes

Red white and blue shorts matched tee shirts

As granny busy with meals knows

She's the grandchild who I adore

But when she left I'm shocked to find

Dolls clothes scattered on the floor

No use pretending I don't mind

At four years old she understands

You put your bricks back in the box

No-one else touches it, 'It's MINE!'

You fight the world with keys in locks

Next time she comes around to play

I'll set my watch to give a warning

Before you leave, tidy away

So enlightenment is dawning

Remember Cinderella's shoe

The moral's clear to me and you

That rushing off will never do

An old adaage which is still true.

-ends-

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The Cat Under My Car comical poem 618 by Angela Lansbury

 

Grey cat. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

The cat was grey, ugly and fat

And growing, old - we're all like that

Today it's not sat on the mat

I guessed that it had not gone far

It slept in warmth under my car

I called, 'Hey, I know where you are!'

It jumped, up, fled, a tail I saw

Wave, inside my home's front door

I went inside - passed, it shot out!

Now every day I've fear and doubt

I know that it is round about

Dear neighbours, please don't let it out.

On Youtube I see kittens

In funny hats, teeny mittens.

One gulps down milk, it licks its fur

Eyes shut, gives a contented purr

For a day I'm sentimental

'Let's buy one?' 'No, Don't be mental

One tame cat will lure a wild friend

And you can guess where that will end

'Two kittens, a menagerie

An all day job for you and me

The vet's visits will not be free!'

'Okay. I'll let that idea be.'

For if I want to see a cat

Chase birds, or mice, even a rat

Loud sound reveals where two cats are

Caterwauling, under my car.

-ends-

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Are You Average? Comical poem number 617 by Angela Lansbury

  When I first heard the word 'average'

I thought, neither good nor bad

When when I was told 'You're just average,'

I thought, not good, and I was sad

 

Then I learned average was middle

Of two opposite extremes

It was also called the median

Whatever median means

When you think of the body

We have ten fingers and ten toes

Two eyes and ears, and smiles and tears

One mouth, two lips, one nose

Most people have ten fingers

But everybody knows

Some off folk have one, or none

Where the lost ones went, no-one knows

The result is, you could say

The 'average' man has five

That's counting those born dead

A thousand years, as well as still alive

So am I brainy, above average?

Depends who you ask. Who knows?

Don't worry. I'm glad to say I've got

The average number of toes.

-ends-

The Random Universe Explained comical poem number 616 by Angela Lansbury

Angela Lansbury in Halloween outfit. Selfie photo by Angela Lansbury.

I am not ridiculously poor or rich

I am a trained Toastmaster

I am neither a saint nor a bitch

But my tongue and brains run faster

My husband just asked me

Faster than who, faster than what?

How many brains do you have?

The unsconscious doesn't matter a jot

 

Some people do not understand

Basic things you ought to to know

Although it's good to be thrifty

A little knowledge of statistics

Tells you numbers have no memory

And dice might fall heads or tails

Each time that you throw

Ignoring tears and prayers and wails

When there are cats running about

There are lucky and unlucky mice

Running faster is better

Left, or right? Just run's the best advice

However, on the other hand

Some studies have shown

That movement attracts cats to prey

Hear alarms? Keep quiet, still, alone

Some maladies attack all

Without making selection

And will not reward you

For taking protection

We humans all must die some day

So have some fun along the way

You cannot turn your fate away

But choose good things for your stone to say

Dear grandchildren, I drank coffee

But only in the morning

I gave up eating toffee

I got up when day was dawning

I gave you lots of laughter

Before I waved goodbye

I did give you some small warning

That one day I might die

But please grin and be joyful

At the smart things I would say

Let my good name make you smile

On each mixed, misty and sunny day.

-ends-

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The Good News comical poem 615 by Angela Lansbury

When you're in bed and feeling bad

There's not much you can do

Except take pills and pay the bills

Be glad you don't also have the flu 

The very good news is, my friend

That life could be a whole lot worse

You could be in the ambulance

The Black Maria or the hearse

You could have broken one more tooth

Found black ants in the white flour bin

Or found holes in your leaking roof

Burglars! The children let them in

You left ten dogs in a hot car

Put salt in coffee, burned the toast

Somebody else has burned your bra

 Put mushrooms in the Sunday roast

You bought a lovely, brand new house

The worksmanship is shoddy

You moved into a lively city

But don't know anybody

You bought a detective triology

Already guessed the end

You've a thousand likes on Facebook

But I'm your only friend.

-ends- 

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Pills For A Subtle Spine Fracture comical poem 614 by Angela Lansbury

 Seeing seven boxes of pills

Is enough to make you feel ill

I've noted which I took and when

And when to take them all again

Caffeine will make me bounce and beep

While codeine sends me straight to sleep

A quick way to get forty winks

But not with alcholic drinks

So when friends offer me Champagne

I have  a choice and must explain

It's drink or codeine to kill pain

I think I'll try Champagne again

Physios called, I can't complain

They brought a small size walking frame

It has an adjustable height

For bathroom visits twice each night

Theyll get a bar fixed on the wall

So in the shower I don't fall

One good thing despite waving pain

Is that's not costing me at all

If I were pain-free, I'd improve

But I won't trouble God above

World War Three is bigger than me

WhatsApp friends promise prayers, love.

I've got water, coffee, caffeine

Paracetamol, codeine, Cal

-cium, laxatives, Thyroxine

Notes to tell doctor when I've been

I've trained myself to swallow pills

By taking huge gulps of water

If I sit still, don't move an inch

My life's full of joy and laughter.

-ends-

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A & E & Me comical poem 613 by Angela Lansbury

I'm sitting in the A and E

Accident and Emergency 

An ambulance transported me

What will they do? Just wait and see

They have to take a lot of notes

Which have to pass from hand to hand

Before they give pain's antidote,

I'd like to hear a marching band

I'd like to hear a country song

Or watch a joyful travel show

"When will a see a doctor here?"

The nurse tells me, "I do not know

'Because even if you were first

If someone serious comes in

The doctor has to see them first

And most of our short staff are missing.'

It's gone midnight, I ought to sleep

Why is this room not dark?

Other patients chat loud all night

First thing wrong at Northwick Park

I have to say breakfast was good

Fruit! Banana's my preferred food

Easy to eat and not much mess

A quick relief for my distress

Two pregnant women vomiting

At breakfast time, not the best thing

The only good thing I can see

Is others are worse off than me

Back home with pills and into bed

A soft pillow under my head

What did I learn at A and E?

Good to be home, good to be me.

-ends-

Glittering Raindrops - Something Good Lives On comical poem 612 by Angela Lansbury

Angela Lansbury with umbrella in Singapore. Photo by Trevor Sharot.

Even when the rain never stops

You can see glitter in raindrops

There's something on sale in the shops

Reformed burglars and hero cops

In summer butterflies flutter by

Not worrying when they will die

Birds don't complain they're scared to fly

They don't waste time like you and I

I'm not looking for sympathy

I know others are worse than me

There's plenty who are stuck in bed

And millions more who've been long dead

I sew badly though I'm all thumbs.

Dumiddy dum Dumiddy dum 

Dumiddy dum Dumiddy dum 

The good news is that prunes are plums

Something good lives on

When the roses have fallen

Something good will come

Though right now the baby's bawling

Remember, remember

Roses last until September

Even if the snow's knee high

One day in grey sky December

Though you're not yet a millionaire

Your broken comb grows more hair, 

And you got the wobbly chair

Whose fault you've no clean clothes to wear?

Your umbrella broke in the pouring rain

Your torn jeans have torn again

But feeding triplets is a pain

And that's why you should not complain

You were serenaded with the wrong song

The freshly cooked food takes far too long

Some-one else fell for a con

Yet something good lives on

Though you write hit songs

But no one pays nor knows nor cares

Your hopes are sinking, more each hour

Like your bad investment shares

Something good lives on

And I wrote you this awful song

I promise it won't last too long

Yes, some small hope lives on

There's something simple all can do

Those mad as me and daft as you

Despite all lies one thing is true

One day each year the skies are blue

Something good lives on

Even in the silliest song

Something good lives on

Even when most answers are definitely wrong

Even if your joke falls flat

Or you trip on a not flat mat

Or a dirty puddle grabs your hat

And nine odd socks are in a muddle -

Something good lives on

Even when it all looks bad

There's no point in being sad

There must be one thing makes you glad

Something good lives on.

Today I'd rather not be me

I fumble like I bungle bee

I'm useless as a fallen tree

And yet, I'd rather still be me

There's one good thing to always say

Nasty thoughts please go away

I'd rather have a happy day when

Something good lives on.

-ends-

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How To Be The Worst Man comical poem 611 by Angela Lansbury

 How to be the worst man

The worst groom and worst bride

We can all give advice on this

And a lots more beside

How to be the worst website

How to have the worst night

Start by reading the book's last line

How not to lose money, do accounts or write

How not to burn the toast

Or hurt the people you love most

How not to fall off a wall

How not to do anything at all.

There is a simple easy way

To not do any painful task

Stay at home. Don't wear hearing aids

And hide behind a big blue mask.

-ends-

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The Password Game comical poem number 000, actually 610, by Angela Lansbury

Fingerprint scanner. Wikipedia.

 

Today we're going to play

The password game

On all the websites worldwide

The rules are just the same

Don't use the word passport

And do not use your name

To order food for dinner

You must be a password winner

I can't understand why

Some teenage whiz

Doesn't have a team of hackers

To tell me what my password is.

I dream I'll make my fortune

At least achieve modest fame

With this little poem called

The Password Game

But if I die tomorrrow

I realise with sorrow

My words won't be seen nor heard

If no-one has the password.

-ends-

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I have blogs called Travel,with angelalansbury dressofthedaywith angels. And twenty books about writing poetry, pets and pests, dating, and quick quotations, and How To Be The Best Man, on Amazon.com and lulu.com I am also on Facebook and LinkedIn and all over the net. You might find about 1 lucky people with the same name as me on websites, so add the wrods travel, poet, London, Ssingapore, Toastmaster, until you recognize my photo which is o several of my poems. Happy hunting and poetry writing and reading.

A Drink Is As Good As A Wink comical poem 609 by Angela Lansbury

 

A sparkling drink's  good as a wink

It makes you say - um - what you think

The trouble is, when I've had fizz

Gee and tonic, I feel, gee whizz

When one Champagne goes to my head

I can't rmember what I said

No matter what we say and do

I hope the same applies to you

The trouble is - can't remember

But if a bystander's sober

They'll still remind me what I said

Next September, and October!

I make sure I am sitting down

I can't lurch, sway, or fall at all

If there's no writing on the wall

Next day I can deny it all

I stick to one drink, maybe two

Reject a third, I always do

When waiters re-fill glasses up

I'll pour mine in my coffee cup

Once when my date declined to drink

'I'm driving' - I began to think

I'll stay sober as my great-aunt

I poured my wine into a plant

No point in drinking when I'm home

No chats nor quips when I'm alone

But if I wrote poems when drunk

Next day I'd know what I had thunk.

-ends-

You Know, I Know comical poem 608 by Angela Lansbury

 

Angela Lansbury wearing her DIY 'You Know No! hat brim. Photo by Angela Lansbury.

You know what annoys me

And never overjoys me

When a train is going slow

And I overhear, 'you know?'

There's only one thing I know

Which is they don't know

They keep saying, you know

You know it annoys me so.

-ends-

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Another Nonsense Song, comical 607 by Angela Lansbury

Angela Lansbury and Big Max at BCB bar and beverage show in London. Photo by Angela Lansbury.

 What can I write about

The tension or moan or shout

Why I wear my hats piled high

Why skyscrapers touch the sky

Why don't all cockroaches die

Is a half truth half a lie?

Why don't we have green sky?

First chicken pie then apple pie

Nonesense is gone sense

The French must have bon sense

Con men make con sense

The Chinese have wan sense

Nonesense is trivial fun

Nonsense is convivial fun

The sauce on life's serious bun

Jelly bullets in a joke gun

When ou have dropped a vital file

The tenion in a toppling pile

A raised eyebrow, a twisted smle

Like sugar lumps from Taate & Lyle

When you cn't decide what to wear

It leads you left and everywhere

A way to halve and share your cares

Investing in profitable shares

Nonesen, nonsense, is easy to write

You can do it in the middle of the night

No matter if it makes no snese in morning's light

A nonsense poem is always right.

-ends-

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Write A Nonsense Song comical song 606 by Angela Lansbury

 Let's all write a nonsense poem or nonsense song

Write a lot of nonsence, you can't go wrong 

Don't offend by being political

Don't confuse by being analytical

Have nonsense at the start and nonsense  at the end

That way you'll make a lot of nonsense friends.

You won't make pence, you won't make cents

People will tut and say you don't make sense

It won't make lunch or pay the rent

But you'll make a lot fun talking nonsense

You need a silly rhythm and a silly rhyme

And an urge you can't suppress to waste your time

Wasting time.photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright. 

But if you cause a smile or laugh 

With no evil intent

You have done us all a favour talking nonsense

No one cares what you meant.

-ends-

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