I Must Tell You My Mad Dreams. Comical poem 737 by Angela Lansbury

 I dreamed I was on a busy holiday

When I was still at home

I dreamed of a joyful crowded wedding

When I slept in silence all alone

I dreamed of a giant puzzle

Where I solved all the clues

I dreamed of worldwide peace songs

When all the papers tell bad news

I dreamed of jolly conversations

With my parents now long dead

I have a cinema play non-stop films

Inside my tiny, muddled head

I dreamed I wrote a library

I wrote only twenty, plus unpublished books

I dreamed I'd filled a chocolate shop 

Although I almost never cook

I dreamed the clouds became balloons

Which filled a rainbow sky

Thousands of joyful running children

We both smiled, I don't know why

I woke and he told me his dream

He was proud to tell me nonsense

So now I've told all my mad dreams

My gift to the world, a recompense.

-ends-

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About Angela Lansbury - my books of poetry

Poetry Pets & Pests

Angela's Alarming Animal poems

Poetry Workbook

 My latest book, Embarrassing Moments, is on Amazon, at a bargain price of well under ten pounds

My books are on Amazon.com, Amazon.co.uk, and Lulu.com

Take a look. You might like to buy one for yourself or a friend. 

See my other blogs on Travel, Wine and dine, and Dress of the day Angela. Please share links to your favourite blogs and posts.

Please follow me and share links to your favourite poems.

What If: comical poem by Angela Lansbury number 723

When you are tired your mind plays tricks

Tormented by broke things to fix

Thoughts run, stumble, in a hurry

Drag a big file labelled worry

 

What if I went to bed tonight

Unwashed, but never woke up?

What if there were small but deep holes

Inside every glass and tea cup?

Who would make the breakfast for us

Do washing up? Should I prepare? 

Just my husband. Why should I care?

Not my problem. I won't be there.

What if there were poisons

In all chocolate, sweets and cakes?

A tragedy for you and me

Like fake sugar. But we'd lose weight.

What if the day after I died

None of my great poems were read?

I would never know and grieve

I'd be dead, at peace, empty head

But my dear mother always said

Don't cry for strangers far away

Don't make yourself unhappy, dear

Leave yesterday, enjoy today

Think: what if I were praised? Famous?

What if I made a million smile!

Then writing this one ten a.m.

Would all have been really worthwhile

What if I found my dried up pen

Years on, and read this all again

And said, gosh, was this really mine?

I was already clever then!

What happens later, no-one knows

I'll leave behind such pretty clothes

Satins and silk, ribbons and bows

A garden with a perfumed rose

So I shall write about delight

Before I quench the bedside light

Rest in the darkness of kind night

Help my eyes close in soft repose.

-ends-

I changed the line

I was rather clever back then

to read

I was already clever then.

I changed daylight to bedside light. 

I changed 

Let my eyes close in sweet repose

to read

Help my eyes close in sweet repose.

About Angela Lansbury - my books of poetry

include  Poetry Pets & Pests

Poetry Workbook

 My latest book, Embarrassing Moments, is on Amazon, at a bargain price of well under ten pounds

My books are on Amazon.com, Amazon.co.uk, and Lulu.com

Take a look. You might like to buy one for yourself or a friend. 

See my other blogs on travel, wine and dine and dress of the day. Please share links to your favourite blogs and posts.

Please follow me and share links to your favourite poems.

If Only Food Were Salesmen 717 comical poem by Angela Lansbury

Hot crumpet with melting butter. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

 If only food could sell itself 

I wonder what my food would say?

I'm an orange,  juicy fresh peach

Dark chocolate brightens your day

I'm the reddest ripe tomato

I'm horseradish white as the moon

Avocado, baked potato

I was a plum, I'm now a prune

I'm the best almond marzipan

I'm pistachio baklava

I'm the frozen roll-out pastry

Make pies and tarts, no palaver

I'm the bulbous, blackest berries

I'm green crisp apples on long stalks

I'm the reddest, sweetest cherries

Grape vines climbing, they walk, don't talk

I'm grainy, tasty French mustard

Currant buns, muffins mothers make

I'm pudding with pooling custard

I'm tasty, iced, fruit birthday cake.

I'm the coffee served with thick cream

I'm pretty pictures drawn in foam

Lick the plate, then eat After Eight

Freedom plus fine flavours at home.

-ends-

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Dreamy Travel Tales comical poem 710 by Angela Lansbury

Angela wearing I love London tee-shirt. Photo by Trevor Sharot. Copyright.

 I wish you a hundred happy twist tales

Steering the finest ships with the highest sails

From America to Kiwi land via Welsh rarebit Wales

Little lifeboats stocked with caviar and snails in red pails

Small steam trains passing playgrounds on signposted trails

Ships cause the envy of Nessie, jumping dolphins and whales

Islands where each meal feast is an ice carving surprise

Chocolate chicken and dinosaur pies

Giant chocolate-covered strawberries win first prize

Drones over domes carry you and me on easily

To castle towers with turrets, a fantasy

Beyond the wild Dalmatian dreams of Disney

Pearl-white opal silk clouds over silver seas

Where we sip Champagne froth and peppermint teas

Admiring rose roses and avocado trees

Coloured maps like solved crossword clues

Where skies are perfect blueberry hues

Waterfall music mountains make dreams come true.

-ends-

Do You Often Sit On The Fence? comical poem number 621 by Angela Lansbury

The Fence. Photo by Trevor Sharot.

Do you often sit on the fence

 Is it hard to make up your mind?

Do you wear one red and one green sock

When caught, pretend you're colour blind

When sandwiches are egg or cheese

You buy or make both, can't decide

Always buy clothes in both colours

Resulting in bills you must hide

Buy things you don't need in the sales

Buy birthday gifts for siblings, doting

And just in case, a dozen pails

Can't decide when you are voting

Buy wall to wall carpet, than add mats

Exercise lots but eat red meat

Regret lost birds but still keep cats

Take seconds, watching what you eat

Play the radio when it's quiet

I don't mean to be unkind

Eat chocolate when on a diet

Maybe you have a butterfly mind.

Do you suffer from indecison

You're dying, dementia, getting old

Does endless debating cause derision

It's a common, sickness, we're told.

-ends-

Tick Tock comic poem 484 by Angela Lanabury

 Tick tock, like tinnitus, can you all hear

Christmas carols call like a ticking clock?

What is the date? Gift stocking can't be late

Dusk's dark as midnight - but it's only five

The elves and rheindeer grin on socks

To brighten up the end of year

All kinds of chocolates on the plate

And gifts galore to buy and give

Tesco gifts Grinchmas. Photo by Angela Lansbury.

I'm half asleep, and yawning, half alive

Santa's red and white hats fill tinselled shops

Wearing heavy, hooded coats, we still strive

To sparkle until winter flu strike stops.

Lights on lamp posts in Hatch End. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

White lights wound round lamp posts brighten our streets

Past pickpockets, join jolly shopping crowds

Shops fill with tempting chocolate Christmas treats

Dream of diet-free days when pud's allowed.

Tesco shopping at Clubcard prices for Curtis the Cavapoo plush. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

In January masochists will go

To countries blessed with even worse, deep snow

Well after Fall, when snowflakes are falling

Sales start, ski brochure bargains are calling.

Christmas crackers give jokes, mottoes, and rhymes

While others fly to warmer, palm tree climes

I wrap like snowmen, wait for happy times

When wise, kind clocks leap forward to summer time.

-end-

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Any Other Nname? comic poem no 393 by Angela Lansbury

Chocolate at Luton airport. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

 Chocolate by another name

I wonder would it taste the same?

Excreta by another name

I wonder, would it smell the same?

Yet Marilyn, they changed her name

Madonna, would she sell the same?

The PR team, are they to blame?

New married name? What a shame 

Don't judge a book by its cover

Cover designer, send another

Interior design, why bother? 

A birthday suit to suit your lover

A poem by another name

Would it attract more

Or just the same?

How long can we play this game?

Sometimes it's right, sometimes its wrong

Sometimes the singer sells the song

Sometimes it yo-yos, yeah, ding dong

Arctic? Nirvana? Or Hong Kong?

Can you renew a famed dictator?

Who's the manager, who's the waiter?

Would my name change change my fate? Or

Should I wait? And change it - later!.

-ends-

Copyright Angela Lansbur. Wed 27 March 2024.

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Birthday Girl & Boy, To The Restaurant comic poem 391 by Angela Lansbury

This weekend I'm the birthday girl

You should indulge my every whim

Next weekend is our son's birthday

When that weekend revovles round him

I have a hair band for my hair

A tee-shirt with balloons to wear

A badge which shouts, they've let me out

So everyone knows I'm about

I mentioned birthday, when booking

Will they bring a lighted candle?

May I bring in a huge balloon

Or is that too much to handle?

I'll fuss about where I am sat

Will you dim lights and then march in?

Loan me a  funny birthday hat?

Videos are ads, big win-win!

I'm wondering what I should bring

My phone will play happy birthday

Should my group sing, or will you sing?

A gift photo would make my day

They used to give free birthday cake

But nowdays we get one slice

Caterers save lots of money

If in the price, less fat is nice.

My name in chocolate on the plate

Whisper and give the host a wink

And free chocolates, that would be great

And free Champagne, or nightcap drink

Well, if you just leave us alone

I promise I shall not complain

I've chocolates and drink at home

But don't expect me back again.

-ends-

Copyright Angela Lansbury

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Food Addiction comic poem 220 by Angela Lansbury

 Interlude on Food 

Don’t tell me that eating food’s an addiction

You will add to today’s friction - and fiction

I eat to live and I live to eat -

But the internet says give up chocolate and meat

Why am I so obsessed with food?

Because food does me good and improves my mood

When I am late or in a bad state

I can cheer myself up with a big box of chocolate

I like two big portions of roast potato

Can I compensate with one sundried tomato?

I love spuds baked, mashed, chipped or sauté 

Give me potatoes, any way, every day

Alas, the weighing machine’s news is sad

It tells me the truth and I am not glad

That ice cream and chocolates will bring me more sorrow

If I leave my diet, again, ‘til tomorrow.

-ends-

Angela Lansbury copyright Saturday September 9th 2023

Swimming, Slimming and Winning comic poem 186 by Angela Lansbury

 

At nine in the morning I ran off to swim

In the hope that it would make me slim

To compensate for last night's chocolate sin

My virtuous smile means I've won a win-win

While you sit, solid at your computer

Hoping it won't damage your future

Just tap your feet, so when we meet

Mutual congratulations can begin.

We both will say, 'You do look slim!'

A win for two is a win-win.

-ends-

Copyright Angela Lansbury 2023 Sunday April 23rd

My Diet to Save My Life by Angela Lansbury, comic poem 165

 For Carolyn’s Diet anthology

My Diet to Save My life

by Angela Lansbury

You are what you eat.

You are what you don’t eat.

Angela Lansbury

Poem

The Desperado Diet

By Angela Lansbury

When you find your buttons popping

You need large clothes with batwing sleeves

Clearly, it’s time to go shopping

For loads of shredded lettuce leaves

I used to dream of chocolate

Bread puddings and roast potatoes

With focus I can concentrate

On cucumber and tomatoes

We could have a lot of laughter

Full of fruit and drunk on water 

Look like my mother or daughter

Pictures show before and after.

-ends-

Photo of salad ordered at Gotti restaurant, Singapore. Photo y Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Biography of Angela Lansbury

Angela is a contributor to books compiled and edited by Carolyn Street

Authenticity and Us - Angela Lansbury’s chapter on Authentic Writing For Your Audience

Fear and Us - Angela Lansbury’s chapter on How To Unblock Writer’s Block

Grief and Us - Angela Lansbury’s chapter on Coping with Bereavement and Depression.

Angela has a blog called Dressofthedaywithaangela.blogspot.com which shows more than 500 outfits.

She has also written a book called How to Get Out of The Mess You’re In

Another Cockroach On The Floor and a Spider's Web Over The Bed

Another Cockroach on the Floor and a Spider Over The Bed
a lament by Angela Lansbury

I am barefoot in the bathroom
There's a cockroach on the floor
Which is worse, running or still -
Between me and the door?

If there's one thing I don't like
It's a spider on the bed
I'm sure its bad for flies
But now it hurts my head

Right now things would be better
If one of us were dead.

When I see a spider's web

Lurking empty overhead

I wonder where the spider's gone

It's bound to show, before too long

If I stay still and look around

Inspecting walls, ceiling and ground

Brooches shaped like beetles I don't like a bit
What use is a cockroach, a mosquito-ridden lake
Though I'm prepared to eat a pig-shape chocolate
And I've had round salmon-pink 'steak' from a cut-up snake

But another thing I don't like at all
Is ants on a table or desk
Although a gecko which eats them is useful
Up the wall, like me, devouring pests

We have filled the floor with insect traps
We're choking on insect spray
It's another day in the tropics
But neither they, nor I, will go away.

I read somewhere that cockroaches

Have survived a million years

Frankly a single insect, now

Is enough to tug at my fears

I can throw it through the window

Pretend I did it a favour

I didn't kill it - it might come back

Thinking I am its saviour.

-ends-

A Royal Wedding - Admiring A Princess's Fairytale Dress

A Royal Wedding - Admiring A Princess's Fairytale Dress
by Angela Lansbury

Behind the barrier, I'm pulled in my place
Keen to peep at that pretty, princess face

I smile, showing braces on my gap teeth!
But my closed-mouth crowd photo brings relief

Let's hope her dazzling dress fits the fine scene
I won't wear my faded, stained and torn jeans

Her stylish hair's swept back, pinned hat in place
I'll cut my jagged fringe, hiding my face

She should dress conventionally, more or less
Outclassing my new, dear, M & S dress

I trust that she wears matching lace beneath
Bringing a fussy, matching prince no grief

She's changed religion, nationality
One must please the public - and reach royalty

I won't copy her if she changes sex
Not the whole long list the long-left expect

Don't show crossed teeth, cross-eyes, hair in a mess
But poised, perfect, pristine, designer dress

In grand, old-world, dusted horse and carriage
A modern, TV, sub-titled, marriage

She can't smile more excitedly than me
High on chocolate, pre-runs runs, re-run fun - on TV.

-ends-
Copyright Angela Lansbury 30 March 2018
Anticipating the royal wedding of HRH Prince Harry and Megan Markle at Windsor on Saturday 2018

From left: Megan Markle and HRH Prince Harry. Photo from Mark Jones in Wikipedia.

The Diet Poem by Angela Lansbury

The move which was my worst mistake
Was taking that third chocolate cake
I'm often told, I'm sure it's true
That dieters should stop at two

For health, I eat brown bread with seeds
Jacket potatoes fill other needs
They provide me with vital vitamin C
My favourite foods are lunch, dinner and tea

I want to be healthy, wealthy and strong
But at mealtimes we don't get along
People stare at my plate too long
And tell me what I'm doing wrong

Some choose drink to drown their sorrow
Some parachute for escapist thrills
Some take drugs, others vitamin pills
But I eat like there's no tomorrow

For I have found life's greatest treasure
I have found a lifelong pleasure
Although Champagne's a welcome drink
Flowers or chocolate - what do you think?
-ends-
copyright Angela Lansbury 2107