The Bigger Mouse Two-Timing Cat With The Second Home comic poem 630 by Angela Lansbury

Cat come to visit us. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

 

In my neighbour's conservatory we sat

Three ladies lunching having such a friendly chat

Creeping through the garden comes my neighbour's tabby cat

I adopted, she claims, this stray, hungry cat

I feed him each day, she joyfully says

At breakfast, the eating race, he's the winner

The other lady gasped, 'I'm shocked, not your cat!

He's mine, calls home promptly at nine for dinner!

The householder's husband, hears and sneaks outside

Pretends to do washing up, like a clean cat

'Cats and men are the same, two timers, I say,'

My two lady friends are laughing, flushed, blushing.

-ends- 

This is a revision of verse 508 called Catatonic.

Bigger mouse is a pun on bigamous.

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Reincarnated Birds comic poem 358 by Angela Lansbury

 

If I were reincarnated as a bird

I think that would be quite absurd

If my husband came back as a cats

That's ground for divorce -  what about that?

-ends-

Copyright Angela Lansbury

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The Dorset Prayer Answered by Angela Lansbury (aka Hazel Nutter)

Della Galton asked for a Dorset song for her book. I wrote:
Here you are. I checked local landmarks and legends online. Here's an ancient Dorset song, from 8.50 April 21st 2020, by Angela Lansbury. It starts


:I went to St Catherine's Chapel,
For it's said she will answer your prayer,
'Please send me a husband, who's wealthy'
But only two poor men were there.

One of them said to me, 'Darling,
Why don't we go for a walk?
I'll take you to see the great giant -
Whose ample physique is carved in the chalk!'



I said, 'Sorry, dear, you're not for me
For you're poor as a little church mouse.'
To scare him away, I ended the day
At haunted Athel-hampton House!

Mother said, 'Our sensible God only helps
A person with skills who will help himself.
You can add up a bill and read lots of books
What else does a man need to share health and wealth?

'You're young and pretty but age fades your looks
What's missing, that's lasting? You must learn to cook!'
So off I went, to take cooking lessons
Guess who I married? I married the cook!

We went to the chapel to marry
'Cos Saint Catherine had answered my prayers
What's more she provided as witness
Those two ragged beggars, still hoping there.
-ends-
first draft, improved version will be added later.


Dorset