Are You Average? Comical poem number 617 by Angela Lansbury

  When I first heard the word 'average'

I thought, neither good nor bad

When when I was told 'You're just average,'

I thought, not good, and I was sad

 

Then I learned average was middle

Of two opposite extremes

It was also called the median

Whatever median means

When you think of the body

We have ten fingers and ten toes

Two eyes and ears, and smiles and tears

One mouth, two lips, one nose

Most people have ten fingers

But everybody knows

Some off folk have one, or none

Where the lost ones went, no-one knows

The result is, you could say

The 'average' man has five

That's counting those born dead

A thousand years, as well as still alive

So am I brainy, above average?

Depends who you ask. Who knows?

Don't worry. I'm glad to say I've got

The average number of toes.

-ends-

Ten Fingers And Toes comic poem 214 by Angela Lansbury

 

Why do I have ten fingers?

Why do I have ten toes?

So do you, friend, so do you!

But why? Nobody knows!

Who don't we have a dozen?

I was asked by a small, weird cousin ...

Then we could divide them all by four

And the decimal system would be no more!

Japanese tea sets, have five cups

I used to wonder why

Until today I looked at my hand

Now I understand, at least I try

What if your fingers or toes are six?

That happens to a rare few

That gives them a different mix

Is maths easier for them to do, than for me and you?

What if we had eight fingers?

That would be quite strange

But we'd think that was normal

Everyuthing would be rearranged

Why are there severn days a week?

It's been that way for years

We've tried a four day week, I've retired

A lifelong weekend, no Monday tears

Somebody made a month 28 days

Skipped twenty nine, thirty, thirty one

Then they had to add a leap year

I could have told them it was wrong!

Back to the question of fingers and toes

Some start counting from one, with thumbs

But thumbs up is rude in some cultures

Starting small with pinkie is how it's done

Back to the question of having ten toes

Why we have ten nobody knows

When we all meet God, some little sod

Will ask, 'Why do we have ten toes?'

-ends-