In the Night comical poem 670 by comic and poet Angela Lansbury

When I get up in the night

I often feel that nothing's right

First my hair's tangled, and frizzy

Second, worse, I'm feeling dizzy

My husband won't allow a light

Complains and claims it wakes him up

I tripped, tipped my glass of water

Now drink, blind, from a stable cup

Tipped glass, andcup, cup and upright glass and cup. Photos by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Pains pull my shoulder, hit my hip

I've chewed dry lipstick off my lip

Secrets shared by my physios

Rest right leg, left foot, on pillows

***

When young I wanted a romance

A kind and handsome millionaire

Now that I'm old I do not care

And all I need is someone there

I had my chance, a millionaire

Short, ugly, bald, chest of white hair

He was deaf, half blind, wore a wig

His landscapred garden grew hard figs

Who cares if my hair was frizzy

Minutes after feeling dizzy

I'm glad to be back in my bed

It's best to have an empty head

***

Dawn, my hair's combed straight, not frizzy

Morning, I'm active, not dizzy

Next day, I've had a good night's sleep

Forget bad dreams I need not keep

Next day, nothing is what it seemed

Last night seems like a short, bad dream

The cup and glass are in their place

And you smile at my smiling face.

-ends-

My first version read

First of all my hair is frizzy, 

a minor mishap, which seems major to some, by day, but not night

secondly tangled is nearer the truth for me, and includes more people, although first of all is more conersational.

Pains in my shoulder and my hip

I changed this to pull my shoulder

Than I wondered if I could make an alliteration for hip

Yes hit.

Pains pull my shoulder, hit my hip

My first version read 

Forget dreams I don't wish to keep

The second revised version was

Forget bad dreams I need not keep

Forget dreams I don't wish to keep

?

The revised version is alliterative.

I changed I sometimes feel that nothing's right

to

I often feel that nothings's right

Less vague.

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Then read my other blogs on Travel and learning Spanish, and dress of the day about clothes for different activitie and altering last season's clothes to fit this season's weight and size.

The Tea In Your Coffee Cup comical poem 669 by comic Angela Lansbury

  The tea in your coffee cup

Is important, drink it up

Add some milk if it's too hot

Drink it quickly if it's not

The coffee in your tea cup

Is important, drink it up

The cups are neatly labelled

But temporarily disabled

I try to hide what is inside

It's not like coffee-tea on a plane

You drink that twice if you're insane

I never complain, but don't drink it again

-ends-

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All the world is mad comical song 668 by Angela Lansbury

 

Half the world is mad

The other half is bad

I'm looking for a sane friend

It's hopeless. I'm momentarily sad

Sev'ral decades before my time

Mad, smart women's fight won the vote

Some think black cats rule, ruin days 

What's superstition's antidote?

The streets are full of people who

Wear masks and scarves and funny hats

Religious, football, uniforms

Need ten outfits to join all that

Party politics divides them

Plus the graffiti on the wall

If my only friends were those who're sane

I'd have no friends at all

I understand teenagers

Who want to raise their voice

But I have to be quiet

I do not have a choice

I have friends of all religions

And skins of every hue

And every kind of politics

And superstitions too

Some think that God spoke to them

Some believe in the big bang

Some think home school, and no rules

Others that insulters should hang

Some won't eat pig, some won't eat beef 

Some won't eat lamb, some won't eat meat, 

No fish, raw fish, no milk, no eggs 

Be gluten free, no sugar, what's left to eat?

As for me, today's thoughts

Keep quiet is what life's taught

Hunters, don't show what you've caught

Or all your friendships come to naught

An theist, agnostic, or a humanist

A left wing, right wing, woke or communist

If I told my friends they are wrong

I'd never be kissed and never missed

So if you want to know what I believe

I believe there is no need

For me to stir the water

Upset your transgender daughter

And if I have a special diet

I shall try to keep quiet

Yet some things have gone the other way

I can say I'm dying and sick today

I can't fly the flag of my nation

But can mention menstruation

I don't know where this debate will end

But hope to keep all my batty friends

If I'd known my husband was a rocker

But next weekend was a mod

I'd have had tears, not fifty years

With one who won't believe in God

Because people who at first seem sane

Are secretly mad, but I don't complain

For though it drives me up the wall

If I stuck to the sane, I'd have no friends at all.

-ends-

FigTrees, Figs, Firs, Apples and Fig Leaves comical poem 667 by Angela Lansbury

 

Fig tree in zlondon, left. Apple tree right. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright. 

Our fig trees, firs, apples are big

Each day our fig tree grows bigger

Sadly the figs are hard to eat

But the leaves have lots of vigour

Stay calm, plants grow, do not panic

Online guides say we need to prune 

But to be truly organic

Only when we see the full moon

Meanwhile we have mountains of leaves

Which cause daily acute distress

 I'm a tidy person and grieve

At this woke unrecycled mess

But don't let dreams make gardeners grieve

Perfectionism sends distress

Be poisitve. We've big fig leaves

If we ever need a new dress.

-ends-

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New Year, Autumn, Chinese, Jewish, School and Uni comical poem 666 by Angela Lansbury

 In autmn time we celebrate

Diwali, Sukkot, far and near

In every country and Indian state

Chinese Mooncakes, Jewish New Year

New year for preschool and for school

New Year for university

We learn computers and futures

And how to spell Deepavali

The teacher in the modern school

Needs to show that she's not a fool

Know all the names, candles, handles

Know every religion, food and rule

Diwali's lights will fill long streets

Each culture has sweet food to eat

Jewish New Year, blow a ram's horn

Christmas means God's dear son is born

On Yom Kippur the fit will fast

They only say nay to food one day

Follow bible laws from times long past

Then mooncakes from websites far away.

On Yom Kippur we confessed our sins

October brings cooler weather

Halloween's bright orange pumpkins 

More to celebrate together.\

Autumn means shorter days, long night

So festivals fill streets with lights

To keep us optimistic, warm

We fill ourselves with sweet delights.

-ends-

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-

The Coffee In Your Coffee Cup - comical poem 665 by Angela Lansbury

 The coffee in your coffee cup

Is important, drink it up

Add some milk if it's too hot

Drink it quickly if it's not

Tea For Two In World War Two

In World War Two the Brits drank tea

This was the story Mum told me

Not tea bags dust, real tea leaf tea

Shops' pots of tea - cup two came free

Then when I reached the caffeine age

To gain courage to face life's stage

My habits turned another page

When coffee became all the rage

Now coffee is for connoisseurs

We have capsules, his and hers

Coffee shows class (we can't wear furs)

A drinker smiles like a cat purrs

We offer coffee when we meet

A proper coffee is a treat

The coffee bars offer a choice

Each customer has their own voice

Your name is written on the cup

Don't drink too fast but make it last

An interlude to boost your mood

The food of love, a fattening food.

A pattern is drawn on the top

Cut out caffeine, I ought to stop

Save money spent in coffee shops

Give coffee chocolates, that's the tops!

-ends-

Angela Lansbury. Copyright. 2025. Sept 25th

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Lost - But Found! comical poem number 664 by Angela Lansbury

 Yesterday we had a big loss

I'm trying to be pleased, not cross

I often find it seems the same

When something's lost, I get the blame

I keep hoping it's simply hid

I keep rewinding what we did

Check photos, phone shops, don't lose heart

Replay the day right from the start

We seemed to spend lots of money

In a delightful art-craft shop

Choose for me, next our small  honey

Then we both knew we had to stop

First buy - watercolour pencils

Then paper, a thick drawing pad

Then a putty rubber, eraser

The total sum was looking bad

We chose one thing, watching money

Just one thing more, it grew to four

One last thing, do me a favour

Small putty rubber, (eraser)

Four times seven is twenty eight

The assistant is working hard

Spending money's bad, yet great

Thank goodness we've a credit card

Do you want a bag? We disagree

My mistake, I thought it was free

Our friends have left, we must hurry

Where had they gone? Minor worry.

***

We'd checked the room of our hotel

Checked out. Trip over,  All seemed well.

One day later, unpacked at home

Our precious purchases? They've gone!

We both serched near, we both searched far

Not in my bag, suitcase, nor car

Not on my desk, under my chair

Hall, corridor, looked everywhere

I searched the web, hoped for a sale

Replace? Keep searching! Wrote email

Recorded message, use our web

Click send,  Type here, again it said!

For hours and hours I felt bereft

I wondered where it could be left

Left in the toilet I suspect

Our friend down south, she might collect

***

Next day, at last, thank God it's found!

His study floor it's run aground.

Lay hidden under something else.

What lesson for you? And myself?

Save yourselves from getting fraught

By recalling what you've been taught

Check which of you has bags, and where

Check table, under bed and chair

Stick address labels labels on each gift

Note where it is, each time you lift.

When you unpack, have a gifts place!

You'll save yourself a three-day chase

Nobody need apologise

Learn from mistakes, let's all be wise

Keep order, Calm down. Look around

Forget trouble. What's lost was found!

-ends-

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Also check books by Angela Lansbury poet on Amazon.co.uk  and Lulu.com

If you meet me and have one of my books with you I can sign it and write a rhyming couplet using your name, or the name of the person for whom you bought the book as a gift. 

Review from purchaser

I giggled a lot reading your book. 

Amparo, Harrovian Toastmasters International Speakers' Club, London.

Clocks, Locks And Socks comical poem 663 by Angela Lansbury Copyright

Watch to watch. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright. 

 Clocks, Locks And Socks comical poem 66 by Angela Lansbury

I yawn - put clock faces away

I'll treat late afternoon like night

I shrug, put watch and phone away

Later I'll turn night into day

Forced to get up when nature calls

I see it's three, it's not yet light

That's how I guess that it's still night

Don't turn on lights, just hold the walls

I feel awake, go back to bed

Silk pillow's waiting for my head

I yawn and sigh, kick off my socks

I know it's night, I don't need clocks

I yawn and sigh and sigh and yawn

Can't sleep - yet suddenly it's dawn

I turn over, then check the clocks

I've overslept, that is a shock

I hear the bell, I hear loud knocks

I find my shoes, hunt, seek my socks

Unlock, Parcels. I sign, re-lock

Not yet mid-day! Good news from clocks!

It's getting late, I'm short of time

Sorry, I must re-use old rhyme

No-one's ignored me if they mock

I've won more time, beaten the clock.

-ends-

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About Angela Lansbury

I have blogs on travel with angela, dress of the day, and this blog, Comic poems  Hazel Nutter, all on blogspot.

You can see and buy my books on Amazon and Lulu.com

My latest book published in 2025 is Embarrassing Moments by Angela Lansbury.

Time To Diet - A Distraction comical poem 662 by Angela Lansbury

First thing - I ought to weigh myself

It's up to me it's my own health

My buttons burst, I've split my skirt

I must admit it's me I've hurt

I know when I'm on a diet

Don't tell your friends, best keep quiet

Eat half or whole? You're in control

When faced with breafast's brown seed roll

 Is time an enemy or friend?

It warns, bad start, good - break time ends

The one thing dieters can't stop

Is time's march like a ticking clock

I have a hunch it's time for lunch

To chew, to chomp, swallow and munch

At waiting I'm still a beginner

I struggle to wait for dinner

If I can't wait I'll take a date

Next time my loot's a piece of fruit

A glass of water helps me wait

Weigh myself in my birthday suit

Open the fridge, I look for tea

A host of food is calling me

Until I see the warning clock

Slam the fridge door, this search must stop

Postpone pleasure, postpone sorrow

Once more, diet starts tomorrow

Once a sinner, now a winner

Just say 'no seconds' at dinner

Old friends praise me, "You look thinner!"

I've a secret, I won't keep it

Avoid trouble, don't eat double

Snacks?  Half a chocolate biscuit.

Brain and tummy, like dad and mummy

Fight over who will win this time

Wine? Just one sip, Water first. Win!

Let's fight off hunger writing rhyme.

-ends-

Version one of thi poem read I gihgt off hunger writing rhyme. I thought that was a surprise. I changed it to let's fight off hunger writing rhyme. More inclusive of the reader. A message. Now I'm wondering if the first version was more original. I have left the second version but added this note, so leave it to the poem reader or poem performer to choose.

Let's fight off hunger writing rhyme is also an instruction to yself in the future. Distraction. Distraction activity. 

The Missing Mouse comical poem 661 by Angela Lansbury Copyright

 

Something is wrong with this house

A mouse which nobody can see

I knocked it on the floor somewhere

And it's eluding me

I'm sure that I would be just fine

If somebody could redesign

A mouse, which falls a foot or two

Will quickly bleep, alerting you

Maybe I'll add luminous tape

So that the mouse cannot escape

You wonder how I found it

What we did to confound it

After I had looked everywhere

My husband looked under my chair

And guess what,folks

Yes, it was there.

So with this mishap in your mind

I'd be glad if you'd redesign

A mouse which you see day and night

And shouts, 'I'm on the left,' (or right)

When your prototype's reached its best

And you want to give it a test

I will drop it right behind me

Dear friends, you know where to find me.

I'm on the floor

In my own house

I'm looking for

A missing mouse.

-ends-

Darling Little Squirrels - Stop! comical poem 660 by Angela Lansbury

 

• Grey Squirrel on fence. Photo by Trevor Sharot. Copyright. 

Those darling little squirrels, cute

Were missing, never seen at dawn

They're back, cute, busy making waves

No - now they're digging up my lawn!

Now handsome is as handsome does

When my garden's their empty stage

Those heroes become villains when

Their actions put me in a rage.

All animals are friends or foe

Depending what they do to you

Depending where they and you go

The fashion, passion, what you know.

Some say that, 'They are troublesome

And when th,ey do their worst

Both they and their defenders

Are evil, and should be cursed'

While others say, 'Please let them be.

They were here first. They should be free!'

What's wrong? They're gone! Now you can see

Each five minutes life changes me.

-ends-

It's up to you, that's all from me.

 what will be will be.

Please share links to your favourite poems in posts on this blog.

I also have other blogs on blogspot.com on travel, and dress of the day.. My books of poems and on writing poetry are on amazon.co.uk and lulu.com

Why Should A Poem Be Serious? comical poem 659 by Angela Lansbury Copyright

Writer Angela Lansbury wearing black sheep apron. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.
 

Why should a poem be serious!

Should I be funny or not?

Comedians are popular

And they get paid a lot!

Newspapers are full of tragedy

My friend Sandra won't read news at all

I'm in need of distracting comedy

While listening for the emergency call.

When asked to dinner, what to do?

"What should I bring? Must bring something ...'

They smiled, "The entertainment was you!"

-ends-

Angela Lansbury copyright Oct 10th 2025

The Rain Is Waning comical poem 658 by Angela Lansbury

window on the rain. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright. 

 The rain's not waning

But I'm not complaining

I've heard all the keep healthy talks

That I ought to get out in the sun

Stock up on vitamin D in walks

But my vitamin D pills have been done

My positive thinking will harden

As soon as logic takes over

'though a thwarted suntan lover

I need not water the garden

The garden looks like I've bungled

The plants are growing apace

Not a garden, more like a jungle

The poor weeds are fighting for space

The rain cannot last for ever

Tomorrow we'll see sun again

When the sun stays out, threatening drought

We'll be longing for rain again.

-ends-

copyright Angela LansburyWed August 9th 2025

Writer's Lament comical poem number 657 by Angela Lansbury from Harrow Writers' Circle Archives

Cuckoo clock for cuckoo writers. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

The Writer's Lament

The deadline loomed, the brain was dumb

And inspiration would not come

But I won't admit that I am so dumb

When clocks says it's too late - work's suddenly done!

Angela Lasnbury

-ends-

I wrote that for the Harrow Writers' Circle Christmas party on December 20th 2001.

The Happy Sea's Shipwrecks comical poem 656 by Angela Lansbury

 I'm happy as the silver sea

Friends bring new happiness to me

I'm dancing like the tumbling waves

Like a lifeguard swims, free and brave

In winter travellers stay on shore

Lazy, till summer calls once more

A dog, cat, child, blind man can see

Who's brought purpose in life to me

Grandchildren end lonely misery

'though life's not always safe, pain-free

When I look in your lovely eyes

I see red earth, and bright blue skies

Sunmer sun, spring rain, winter snow

 The seeds we'll plant, water will grow

I'll teach you all the myths I know,

Tall palms grow fast,

The past won't last

Be patient, fruit at first grows slow 

We have a glowing group of friends

Ripples of goodwill never ends

We cut, and prune, and mow each hour

Dreaming of herbs, spices, flowers

Like a teenage couple glancing

A fairytale romance with dancing

Hold hands by bands, ballons, fir

Liqueur, bonheur and orchestra

Floating, glinting on sequinned sea

Wherever your float boat may be

Waves of joy bring you back to me

Vows like gems keep you happy

Like tourists surfing on the waves

Exploring vast inviting sea

Which pulls most hosts to safe sandy shores

Your shady haven, home with me.

But shores have rocks, you should expect

Don't shut your eyes, hope we don't see

Steer firm past pirates on shipwrecks

Who wish they'd sailed with you and me.

-ends-

A Spider's Web comical poem 655 by Angela Lansbury

What is the best spider catcher

A glass with stiff card below

I've a spider catcher with a sliding panel

And a hoover works well, but few know 

We can never catch all the spiders

That is the big surprise

I'm sure that ten more are born

Each time one of them dies

A spider's web, one spider?

There must be a tribe

On the bathroom ceiling

The car mirror, and many more besides

When you see those trailing strands

Littering your house

You can guiltlessly dispose of them

In the bin with the abondoned wasps' nest 

And the short-lived dead mouse

The web which is worth keeping

Is the one which looks like crochet

Better than your woven blanket

It catches the spider's dish of the day

You have to take sides

The spider or the fly

It's a bit like watching tennis

One will win, the other die

I dont mind at all

So long as the spider's very small

It's got such a pretty house of doom

Better than racing round the room.

I could waste half the day

Spraying, and reading cans of spray

Smart spiders wait 'til I'm in bed

Then, unseen, weave their pretty webs instead.

-ends-

Mother Moth comical poem 654 by Angela Lansbury

 At bedtime, we saw a moth

As everybody knows

Moths are very fond of

Eating holes in your best clothes

My husband was very cross, full of wrath

When he was dive-bombed by a moth

He tried to end both their troubles

Thinking one less moth was no world-shattering loss

But, I thought, though never taught,

A moth must have a mother

Children, and parents

Maybe a sister and a brother

Luckily, for me, so it seems

I soon fell asleep

No abstract worry

Could keep me from my dreams.

-ends-

Please share links to your favourite poems. 

If you like this blog, you might like my latest book, nw for 2025, entitled Embarrassing Moments. You can take a quick look and buy it on amazon.co.uk 

Dear Friendly Aspiring Poets - A Simple Task comical verse 653 by Angela Lansbury

 Dear Friends, Ill set you a simple task which has one aim

Write a couplet or verse which includes your good name.

My name is Angela and I'm happy to use it

My favourite saying is use it or lose it.

-ends-

Please share links to your favourite poems.

I have some chapters and poems in this anthology on writing compiled by Carolyn Street.

The Cure for Typos is Tea. Comical poem 652 by Angela Lansbury

 

What could go wrong?

I got up late. I need to state

That's why I made everybody wait.

When you're tired, mistakes don't take long.

I now know I'm not the only one at fault

We all make typos. When did I go to bed?

Today someone else has made a worse mistake 

Sent us white wine, instead of the ordered red.

I sang out of tune, a well known song.

It was karaoke. I got all the words wrong.

After all of my hype - oh

The first page of my book has a typo!

'Can somebody help me?

And not charge a fee?'

'Yes, I can help you -

If you can help me

'Can you proofread?

Say what I lack

I'd appreciate

Your feedback''

Your poem's sweet, short, succinct

But it would be neater

If it had less predictable rhyme

And found missing metre.

'Why is everyone so rude?

I'm sure that I've done something good.

You should encourage, not discourage!'

I'll dot the ayes and cross the tees and make a cup of perfect tea.

'Now you've offended me

I helped and got no thanks

I gave you feedback

But we've nothing in the bank

'If you didn't want help

Completing this task

You should not get offended

Or, you shouldn't ask.'

My first job is to like myself

The only way to help my health

I'm not a whining wino

My type's worst fault is a typo.

It takes a while to reconcile

Make myself and others like me

But we all feel better now

I've served and drunk a cup of perfect tea.

-ends.

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Busy Dizzy Days comical poem 651 by Angela Lansbury

First I make a shopping list

Keen that nothing should be missed

On my way to do the shopping

In a hurry, can't be stopping

 First I pass the lush green grass

Pause. Put my nose near a red rose

Stop to take a photograph

Smile at new neighbours, wave, joke, laugh

Window shopping, what is new?

In the shops, read each label

Find a bargain, if I'm able

Patiently, join a long queue

Back at home, I'm a winner

Arrived just in time for dinner

But I'm asked, 'What went wrong?

Why did you take so long?'

Tramp Davies wrote, 'What is life if full of care

You have no time to stand and stare?'

That's the thought of shameless, aimless young

I'm old, less time, more to be done

Rush. Make sure each day's got lots of value in it

I do not want to waste a precious minute

Then when I stare, I sort useful thoughts

Of what I should do with bargains I've bought

Is there anything I might be needing?

Does the garden need seeds or weeding?

Do I need cover to protect my knees?

Should I plant herbs, which attract birds and bees?

Do I want to dig dirty potatoes?

Better stick to quick growing green and red tomatoes

Photograph, sunlight makes trees dappled -

'Let's go out and pick some ripe apples!'

Save leftover food for another day

Turn the excess apples into puree

Brief stop for snacking on what I like most

Cheese and butter melting on hot seed toast.

Cheese and toast with coffee. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

***

Write, then. go out to enjoy today, 

Because tomorrow it might rain

Make another short list, start again

I'm busy writing, happy and don't need to explain.

-ends-

I changed 

then at last join a long queue 

to 

Patiently join a long queue.

The first version explains why I am late in the next verse.

The second version contrasts my dawdling with my husband's impatience to start dinner.

The toast (with mushrooms) was, in fact, breakfast. My picture shows toast with cheese for elevenses.

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. But my husband says, don't keep changing it. The flow is better with the first version.

Please share links to your favourite poems.

Holidays, Hotels, Homes, Husbands - The Opposite Of What You'd Expect comic poem 650 by Angela Lansbury

Pretty Riversides - Insects Beside

 The good is often bad and the bad's good

Things don't turn out the way you think they should

Those cute hotels perched by fly riversides

Attract unwary diners, backless brides

Attractive Perfume On Holiday

My flower perfume attracts mosquitos

In New Zealand as ev'ry Kiwi knows

You need to wear long sleeves and covered toes

Ugly, triple layer, repellent clothes

Homes By Sweet Streams

And if your house stands beside a sweet stream

Life's not the pretty dream which it might seem

It's dangerous to toddlers, backing cars

And drunks who walk out watching up there stars

Lovely Lakes - Fun For Dog Detectives

Rivers and lakes look lovely in the day

Until at night a car misses the way

Long after parents die, children dry tears

Dogs find six drowned wrecks, after sixty years

Growing Fig Trees - Like Jack & The Beanstalk

And my small fig tree which refused to grow

For years had only one small fig to show

Wrong kind of figs, small, hard, only for stew

Now giant fig tree shoves our home askew

Fruit - Tasteless Blueberries & Tasty Strawberries

The blueberries we think will be a treat

Have no taste, though they are easy to eat

Bright red strawberries are hard as we fear

Yet really tasty, one week of the year

Fruit - strawberries, raspberries and blueberries,. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Hopeless Or Helpful Husbands

I married late, I thought worst of the bunch

Grumpy husband, gave hugs, made lovely lunch

 The good is often bad and the bad's good

Things often don't end how you thought they would.

-ends-

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Do You Have A Butterfly Mind? Refuting an accusation, humorous poem 649 by Angela Lansbury

 

Butterfly. Free pic from 

 Do you have a butterfly mind

Leaving all the bad weeds behind

Some like to finish all they do

But others hop to something new

A butterfly mind's no disgrace

Pretty butterflies have their place

They do not touch the dirty ground

But fly about and hop around

Somebody once asked me, if I

Had a mind like a butterfly

The conversation wasn't of his choosing

I'd thought I was being amusing

It all depends on the time and state

But when I must, I concentrate

When all is done, one can move on

Divert or yawn when it gets late

A butterfly on plants or plates

Can fly over fences and gates

It's pretty, amusing, flies over walls

Better than being pretty dull.

-ends-

I meant to write a song comical poem/song 648 by Angela Lansbury

 I wrote a poem today

Cute, Clever. So what went wrong?

I wrote a poem today

But I wished I'd written a song

A funny poem can be a moment's fun

It's personal, when aimed at one

But a song can entertain the world

Brighten dim dawns, console setting suns

A simple phrase can become all the rage

Words which dance, leap off the page

I'd rather enhance, strut across a stage

Despite age, wave a mike, sing a song

One famed speech for an investiture

Inspires students of tender years

Calms fears, moves to laughter or tears

But a strong song adds emotional gestures

Songs evoke nostalgia, love and laughter

Provoke, stoke, stroke, prevent a murder

Songs entertain, drummed, hummed forever

Bring millions hope and lasting pleasure.

-ends-

Today and Tomorrow - editing yesterday's errors comical poem 647 by Angela Lansbury

Upside down out of date calendar on fridge. Photo by Angela Lansbury.

 Today and tomorrow, early and late

I'm ready to move on, please wait

I'm learning all the vital words

Spanish and Swahili, must be heard

The trouble is I contemplate

Am I the mistress of my fate?

Today I'm already too late

Today's poem will have to wait

I'm still correcting yesterday's

I went to bed expecting praise

I woke, and saw no comma, a space

Typos and erors all ove the place

I edit to set it all right

Pefecting what seemed right last night

I need to fix, mend, yesterday

Before I move on to today

Alas the clock said it was noon

And heading for the afternoon

I've sorted yesterday, moved on

Ready to start more things half done.

-ends-

The God I Wish For comical poem 646 by Angela Lansbury

Dove peace image free from Pixabay.

I hesitate to interrupt

I know the lord's busy because

You don't have time to think about peace

When you've got so many wars. 

I often think that books deceive

I don't believe all that I read

I only judge by what I see

And this is how it seems to be

The way I'd like the world to be

If I were you and you were me

One who would never desert me

One I'd trust to never hurt me

He deserves praise, in countless wasy 

He brightens days with the sun's rays 

He waters the buds and  flowers

Tireless for hours, with April showers

He also send the slippery snow

So I stay in, now that I know.

The one who made the birds and bees

I might believe did it for me

But, alas, I don't believe

He made tsunamis just for me.

I must admit that it's a puzzle

But as I my fruity breakfast guzzle

I do not pray, no sir, no Ma'am

If he wants me, he knows exactly where I am.

I brush these troubling thoughts away

The universe puzzles bigger minds

Which leave my mundance thoughts behind

I know more than the deaf and blind

Don't show others I'm in a tizzy

But, like the Lord, I must keep busy

And never ask which group has won

But keep creating, mend what's breaking, - carry on! 

-ends-

Embarrassing Moments Misunderstanding Language comical poem 645 by Angela Lansbury

Singapore's a country I really like

But I must offer a word of warning

They tell you to 'off' your phone, light, Mike',

Meaning turn, not carry. Is light dawning?

They called me he, when I think I'm a she

I waited for somebody else to speak

But they were waiting for the speaker, me

They beckoned. If not, we'd have waited a week.

In Mandarin, he, she and it are the same

So it's safer to say sombody's name.

They asked for my team when they meant my theme

What are tea trees? They mean three teas.

And pilots on Singapore flights

Just before they turn off all the lights

And wish you all a pleasant night

The pilot will wish you a peasant fright.

In England on our tiny island

I met a man who came from Thailand

He said he worked for the loyal bank

It took me a while to spot Royal bank.

Over in France, such a shame

We were confused by a hotel name

Why was Hotel de Ville closed?

It means the town hall, as each French person knows.

In France I was asked if I wanted some tea

So naturally, proudly, I said, 'merci';

I watched the tea strangely go

In French Please means yes, but Thank you means no.

-ends-

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I dream of Peace comical poem 644 by Angela Lansbury

Peace Monument, USA. Wikipedia.

 

I dream of a fast lasting peace

When former enemies shake hands

And common working, farming folk

Have marching, drumming, trumpet bands

And round the squares the banners wave

And kings pin mdals on the brave

From devastation good must come

When armies of young rebuild slums

Let's get the moguls to invest

New cities, railways, build the best

New skyscrapers will fill the sky

Over ashes, a new Dubai

Give all what quizzes say they need

Forgive gangsters for confessed deeds

Give workers long paid holidays

Workdays watch tennis, evenings, plays

The last thing done before we die

Is film ourselves using AI

Like new museums' holograms

Answer all questions on webcams..

-ends-

.https://www.ilholocaustmuseum.org/virtual-museum/

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https://comicpoemsbynutter.blogspot.com/2025/08/i-dream-of-peace-comical-poem-by-angela.html

New Look At Us Old Treasures comical poem 643 by Angela Lansbury

 I love old styles like art deco

The swirls and curls of art nouveau

The mirrows might show off-white teeth

But smiles hint layered wit beneath

My home's a store, chutney pleasures

I hoard hordes of games and treasures

Old gold, like jewels to behold

Old friends' names kept like Scrabble games

Old wonky drawers, parquet floors

Extending tables, solid doors

A garden where old roses grow

Dictionaries of words roots I know

No empty days, so much to do

More words creating something new

Wrinkles draw stories on faces

New shops, revive, open places

Roman stones found when we build new

Can the old folk be me and you

Grand children do not see grey hairs

But gladly climb the steepest stairs

Grandchildren glow and learn old games

And we remember old friends' names

We've read all books, know how to cook

And don't judge everyone by looks

Instead dress up when it's required

Effort ensures that we're admired

Retired, create, before expired

Share piled knowledge we've acquired

Though it's harder to push pedals

We display prizes and medals

Just like an old but comfy car

The world's amazed we drove so far..

-ends-.

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Performance Poets comical poem 642 by Angela Lansbury

 

Angela Lansbury with her 2025 book Embarrassing Moments. Left, Emma Purshouse, with her book It's Honorary, Bab, which I bought and she signed, and Steve Pottinger with his book Snapshots from the fall of home, which I bought and he signed. 

These people jump around the stage

And make their words leap off the page

They wave their arms, exuding charm

Extend alarm and life's choices in funny voices

With black and white looks

And red and black books

Beard, brunette, blonde, words stick like honey

Always say yes, do anything for money

Putting a new slant on old news

Guess which rhymes follow from old clues

Rainbows of fun flow like clouds across the blues

A heady mixture of truths, lies and surprise.

-ends-

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Opposites Attract omical poem 641 by Angela Lansbury

 Fruit is always good 

But biscuits are bad

Manics are happy

Depressives are sad

Opposites attract

Like us then when young

That's why we argue

Til everything's done

Some are astonished

And say, 'May I ask

How do you manage

To finish a task?'

We just struggle on

Each day's a surpise

When we see the world

Through another's eyes

You see only black

I see only white

You see only day

I see only night

You see it's all wrong

I say it's all right

That creates our strength

Gives us second sight.

-ends-

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Fruit For Tea comical poem /song 640 by Angela Lansbury

Fruit salad. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright. 

Early breakfast in pyjamas

Orange orange on a white saucer. Photo by Angela Lansbury.  Copyright. 

Oranges, and bananas

Yellow banana. Photo by Angela Lansbury.  Copyright. 

In the fridge what do I see?

Strawberries we save for tea 

What shall we have for our tea?

For our tea, for our tea

What shall we have for our tea?

Not today, On Sunday

I see big red strawberries

Strawberries, strawberries

I bit big red straberries

For my tea on Sunday.

Ripe red fresh fruit. Finest flavour in August in London. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright. 

What shall we have for our tea?

Not today. On Monday

We can have big raspberries

Raspberries Raspberries

Not for tea on Sunday

For our tea on Monday

What do you like? What do you say?

For our tea on Monday.

Big blueberries. Photo  by Angela Lansbury.  Copyright. 

Blueberries, blueberries

I love to see big blueberries

I'd like to eat big blueberries

For our tea on Tuesday

 Blackberries, blackberries

I see big blackberries

I would like big blackberries

For our tea on Wednesday

Red currants, red currants

I can see big red currants

Red currants on Thursday

For our tea on Thursday

.

Black currants, black currants

I can see big black currants

Black currants on Friday.

For our tea on Friday

Pitted Dates. Photo by Angela Lansbury.  Copyright. 

Figs and dates, on the plates

On the plates, By the grapes

Red grapes from La Fromagerie in London

. Photo by Angela Lansbury.  Copyright. 

I think we shall have to wait

For our tea on Saturday.

Cream from top of Jersey whole milk. Sold by Tesco in London. Photo by Angela Lansbury.  Copyright. 

On our birthday we add cream

Thickest cream you've ever seen

That is such a lovely dream

On next birthday we'll have cream

Toys' food's ready every dawn

For yellow teddy bears and a blue unicorn

Well give food them which gives them joy 

All the wooden and soft toys

For toy kittens and a puppy

Serve whatever makes them happy

Healthy food which does them good

On plastic plates, fruit made from wood

Artificial fruit. Fridge magnets. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright. 

For my breakfast what do I see?

I see big red strwberries

Maybe we should save them for tea

Big and small red strwberries.

We went out to pick the fruit

Green and red apples on the tree

Green apples on tree in garden. Photo by Trevor Sharot.  Copyright. 

In supermarkets and small shops

Bananas and raspberries - not chocolate drops

Durian is served in season

Banned on buses for a reason

They smell bad to somebody

Never mind, there's more for me.

I see figs and I see dates

In the bowls and on the plates

We will have fruit salad soon

On the table, served with spoons.

On my birthday I will choose

Fruit that's red or pink or blue

On my birthday I can choose

To share it with my friends and you 

I imagine thick white cream

What a lovely coloured dream

I imagine thick white cream

What a lovely coloured dream.

I will share it all with you

Green and yellow, red and blue

I will share it all with you

It's a dream which could come true.

I thought I'd share my thoughts with you

It's a dream, let's make it true.

Coloured fruit, in red and blue

It's a dream, let's make it true.

-ends-

This can be sung as a round for children, at a birthday party, in a classroom.

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Weird Noise - Was It A Ghost? Comical poem 639 by Angela Lansbury

 

Toaster. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Who should we all blame

When we smell burned toast?

A human being

Not a made up ghost

And when something 

Falls off a wall

It's just gravity, 

Not ghosts at all

And when you hear

Some creaking, late

You know you forgot

To shut the gate

And that strange noise

A kitchen cough

That is your fridge

Turning on and off

And clonking noises

Don't do a runner

You boiler needs

To see a plumber

And when I hear

A tap, tap, tap

I know I have

A dripping tap

And a funny noise

From the radiator

I must get around

To fixing, bleed, it later

Strange buzzing

Up in that lampshade

I sprayed the wasp

It hasn't stayed

You feel a chill - like a ghost?

You must be having a laugh

It just open doors and windows

Which are making a draft

My house is always

Alive with sound

But a sensible scientist

Is checking around.

'I've fixed all the problems

So you shouldn't complain

Then what's wrong now?

'It's eerily quiet again.'

-ends-

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I was rather pleased with the twist ending.