The Bathroom Speaks. Comical Poem 851 by Angela Lansbury.

 At night when I take a walk

I dream the bathroom fittings talk

The carpet feels my large warm feet

And comments every time we meet

Imagine fittings don't forget

But love visits and take a bet

'Our room's important, we shall see ...'

'Sh, here she comes to fondle me!' 

'Hooray, householder's coming back.'

'I bet she'll pee,' 'I bet she'll crap'

'The body parts we must not mention

But, ooh, we do love attention!'

'Toilet's important, crushes mush

And has a satisfying flush ...'

'Turn me, I'm ready, here, hot tap'

'Hooray, my turn, she's coming back.

'I'm pretty towel, lovely, soft'

'I'm toothbrush, please lift me aloft.'

'I'm toothpaste, over here, please.

I love it when I get a squeeze!'

'She done, hooray, we all feel rich'

'Lastly, it's me, I'm the light switch

Whether you're clean, or have been sick

I give a satisfying click'

'I hope you like our happy rhyme

Goodbye, householder, till next time!'

-ends- 

Every time I write a poem, I am so pleased with it. I think, all the other hundreds of poems might be forgotten, but this one will be repeated, remembered and repeated, and give pleasure for centuries.

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I'd love to have a comment from you. Who was it who said, 'writers ask for criticism, but all they want is praise'? 

I asked Gemini. It was W. Somerset Maugham in his 1938 book Of Human Bondage. He wrote: 'when people ask you for criticism, they want praise'.

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