I was inspired to write a parody of The wheels on the bus. But instead of simple repetition, for pre-schoolers, the poem took another direction.
It became more like an ironic ballad. Such as, A hole in my bucket, Dear Liza.
Another influence, is the exaggerated cautionary tale. For want of a nail the battle was lost. Humorous examples are The Lion And Albert, and Matilda told such dreadful lies.
My poem tells a tale of endless dining disasters, and constant disagreements. And how we tried to cope and cover up.
I started with the title The Cup On the Saucer Went Around and \around, but changed the words
THE FISH ON THE DISH
On the day we dined up in town
We arrived soon, late afternoon,
First had water, black or green tea
Hubby, rich son, wife, Teeny-tot, poor me
The balcony table was round
It was the largest one we found
But cutlery fell on the ground
With a dreadful, clattering sound
The cup's saucer was square on round
The cup on the saucer went up and down
Up to my mouth, I made slurping sound
My husband's hand waved, 'Tone it down!'
's
My coffee was strong, it sat too long
My cream was white the sugar brown
I twirled the spoon in my cup round
It made a dreadful squeaky sound
The water jug was passed around
It got lost and was never found
Somebody must have put it down
On another table or on the ground.
The sugar lump bowl sent around
I sighed, 'I've put on half a pound!'
I took two lumps, put a third down
Dad shook his head, tutted and frowned.
The mixed fish cake dish went around
'Is this cod?' 'Salmon.' 'Tuna.' 'Trout?
'It's monster fish - it's been renamed
All doled from the same tin no doubt!'
To go with fish, the chips went round
The tomato ketchup bottle went round
Dad shook it up, and down his shirt
He said short words, 'Fish!' I looked hurt
The plate of pizza passed around
So everybody took one slice
The pineapple pizza looked so nice
That I took two, nobody knew
The birthday cake had candle flames
The chef had mis-spelled both our names
I said, 'Never mind, Grandpa's blind, pass the cake around!'
The sponge, jam, cream all soon went down
(
The waiter said, 'Happy Birthday' to me
I said, 'It's our anniversary
For last week's birthday, an anniversary cake
'Sorry, Ma-am. A mistake.' 'Three mistakes!'
The box of chocolates passed around
But 'baby' knocked them on the ground
You can't eat chocolates when they fall.
(At home I washed and ate them all!)
I ordered coffee but got tea
I complained, 'both taste the same to me
Both taste like coffee-tea, the same
Where's the manager?' 'Gone home. Not to blame'
I asked, 'Why is this bill so large?'
They said, 'It's our high service charge,'
Son smiled, 'That's fine, I understand -
There's always something underhand.'
-ends-
True story: Our Happy Birthday cake was given to a couple celebrating their wedding anniversary at the Alpine Restaurant, (in Bushey, London) - which later closed down.
Coffee-tea was a story told about some airlines. I thought it was a joke. But somebody who worked in the industry said it was true, to save time.
(More verses later on salt, pepper, bread, olives, ice cream, coffee, juice, milk, sweets)
Make up tea or dinner related words.
Please share links to your favourite posts.
Much too long was a parody of all day long.
