What If: comical poem by Angela Lansbury number 723

When you are tired your mind plays tricks

Tormented by broke things to fix

Thoughts run, stumble, in a hurry

Drag a big file labelled worry

 

What if I went to bed tonight

Unwashed, but never woke up?

What if there were small but deep holes

Inside every glass and tea cup?

Who would make the breakfast for us

Do washing up? Should I prepare? 

Just my husband. Why should I care?

Not my problem. I won't be there.

What if there were poisons

In all chocolate, sweets and cakes?

A tragedy for you and me

Like fake sugar. But we'd lose weight.

What if the day after I died

None of my great poems were read?

I would never know and grieve

I'd be dead, at peace, empty head

But my dear mother always said

Don't cry for strangers far away

Don't make yourself unhappy, dear

Leave yesterday, enjoy today

Think: what if I were praised? Famous?

What if I made a million smile!

Then writing this one ten a.m.

Would all have been really worthwhile

What if I found my dried up pen

Years on, and read this all again

And said, gosh, was this really mine?

I was already clever then!

What happens later, no-one knows

I'll leave behind such pretty clothes

Satins and silk, ribbons and bows

A garden with a perfumed rose

So I shall write about delight

Before I quench the bedside light

Rest in the darkness of kind night

Help my eyes close in soft repose.

-ends-

I changed the line

I was rather clever back then

to read

I was already clever then.

I changed daylight to bedside light. 

I changed 

Let my eyes close in sweet repose

to read

Help my eyes close in sweet repose.

About Angela Lansbury - my books of poetry

include  Poetry Pets & Pests

Poetry Workbook

 My latest book, Embarrassing Moments, is on Amazon, at a bargain price of well under ten pounds

My books are on Amazon.com, Amazon.co.uk, and Lulu.com

Take a look. You might like to buy one for yourself or a friend. 

See my other blogs on travel, wine and dine and dress of the day. Please share links to your favourite blogs and posts.

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Your Poetry and Public Lending Right - comic poem number 205

You write and write and write and write

But did you write away your rights?

I often suffer sleepless nights

Wondering how to right my rights. 

But writers aren't left in the lurch

You simply do straightforward search

And then you find to your delight

A list of all your copyright.

To be eligible for public lending right, UK, you must be registered on the title page. No use being listed under a poem or at the start of a chapter in an anthology. For more information on how to promote your books (for fame or fortune) if you are at the Writers' Summer School in Swanwick, come to my one hour session on marketing books on Sunday.

Useful Websites

https://www.bl.uk/plr

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Wild Otters Seen In Singapore Comic Poem 168 by Angela Lansbury

 

Wild Otters Seen in Singapore

Comic Poem 168

By Angela Lansbury

 

[10:30, 26/03/2023] Angela Lansbury BA Hons:

 

The otters came to eat pond fish

All three of them, a family

Large fish, carp, are a tasty dish

‘Chase them off!’ “Rather you than me!’

 

The guards ran up, they shouted loud,

The otters scarper, we're a crowd,

A dead fish thrown into a bin

Pristine, curved eye - and fanned out fin?

 

But stiff, still, with a gaping mouth?

‘Don't eat it, it will make you ill !’

‘What’s to be done? High barriers?

Tough love - big otter carriers!’

 

Although our link with nature’s lost

‘We must think of safety, of health

The condo must count costs, what’s lost

Consider all, not just oneself.’

 

‘No matter what we did, or saw

Call the Otter Society

Today hang back, obey the law

Let them act - with propriety

 

‘Block the canal, their route, but do

Let raging water filter through …’

Then we won't see, another night,

Such charm, delight, and fright, excite.

 

Copyright Angela Lansbury

 Photo from Wikipedia article on otters.

Local Report on otters which seem to be smooth coated otters.

https://eresources.nlb.gov.sg/infopedia/articles/SIP_2022-10-25_110749.html

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Your Box of Odd Socks (Comic poem 137)

 You're not alone in having odd socks

I, too, have a box of odd socks

I feel so sorry, they look so forlorn

I'm sure they were twins when they were born

But now I am wondering what to do

I've found a few which are nearly new

I know that I'll find the other, one day

After I throw this one away

Sometimes you've thrown the worn sock away

But kept the one which has seen better days

Sometimes one's under the washing machine

Or found inside shoes which needed a clean

There should be a swap box for odd sox online

So you could match your odd socks with mine

You've kept my odd sock from two years ago

Found under your sofa - now we know!

Alas some odd socks have lost their elastic

Some are stained, although made from plastic

Some are shapeless, covered in balls

I can clean them with tape, then they'll wipe down the walls.

Regarding odd socks, one joy I must share

Those who worry like me, those who really care

There's no greater delight, by day or by night

Than sorting odd socks and finding a pair.

I have good reason to not throw away

November 18th will be odd socks day.

-ends-

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Missing_sock

Sock clips

https://www.sockclip.com/

Buying Odd Socks

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Adult-Unisex-Socks-Value-Pairs

/comicpoemsbynutter.blogspot.com/

https://www.ebay.co.uk/sch/i.html?_from=R40&_trksid=p2322090.m570.l1313&_nkw=odd+socks&_sacat=0

I've got bills to pay

I've got bills to pay
comic song by Angela Lansbury

I've got bills to pay
Yes, I've got bills to pay
There's only one thing I can say
Honey, I've got bills to pay

You're not the kind romantics sigh on
But you're the one that I rely on
Because I've got bills to pay
Yes, I've got bills to pay

You ask me if I care
Yes, I've got a lot to share
Seeing you has made my day
Because I've got bills to pay

I love the way you do accounts
And you earn such large amounts
And you pass some crumbs my way
When I've got lots of bills to pay

Yes, what gives me great delight
And what helps me sleep at night
Is the lovely things you say
When I've got bills to pay

They ask what I see in you
And they ask me what you do
The only thing that I can say
Is you earn a lot of pay

There's a lot that I could say
About the way we pass the day
But what's important is you help
When I've got bills to pay.

I would love to reward you

With a gold coin or two

Instead I've chocolate gold coins

I hope that that will do.
-ends-
Words composed whilst listening to the song Lay The Blanket On The Ground sung by Billo Jo Spears. I was working on the principle that you make a song more immediate and original if you simply take comedy and song themes from observation of life.
Copyright Angela Lansbury, 2017