Money, more or less. Comical poem 735 by Angela Lansbury.

 

I wonder where my money goes

I'm careful when I buy new clothes

On ebay, sales, and discount stores

I find a bargain, then buy more

It's the same when buying meat

Spend less, but still one has to eat

Here's the answer to life's riddle

Some will fiddle, some shop in Lidl

Chocolates, everyone knows

Can be bought from good old Marks

A little luxury from Waitrose

Sequinned clothes, and Prosecco sparks.

-ends-

Please share links to your favourite poems.

About Angela Lansbury - my books of poetry

Poetry Pets & Pests

Angela's Alarming Animal poems

Poetry Workbook

 My latest book, Embarrassing Moments, is on Amazon, at a bargain price of well under ten pounds

My books are on Amazon.com, Amazon.co.uk, and Lulu.com

Take a look. You might like to buy one for yourself or a friend. 

See my other blogs on Travel, Wine and dine, and Dress of the day Angela. Please share links to your favourite blogs and posts.

Please follow me and share links to your favourite poems.

Truths Questioned In Second Childhood. Comical poem 734 by Angela Lansbury.

 When I was only eight years old

I discovered to my surprise

That the parents I had trusted

Had told me lots of silly lies

Firstly, a puzzle, something strange 

I learned when five, six or seven

Baby Jesus was born to mother Mary

By our father, Christmas, in heaven

We prayed, and wrote, to our father

Who lived most of the year up there

Not with horse power but reindeer

In December drove to malls here

Then, worse, my granny, dearly loved

Who when I looked could not be found

Wasn't in holiday heaven

But buried deep under the ground

But when I had reached eleven

I could clearly think and reason

Biology, geography

The sun, moon, stars - and the season

Just when I thought I'd sorted it

And saw summer was in July

But Australia, down under

Was upside down. No-one knew why

Now that I'm old I'm still confused

Why did dear God send coughs and colds?

Why do the Chinese speak Chinese

And not say thank you and yes please?

Why do we waste money on wars?

Why are some good people such bores?

Why do rich people like to camp?

Send answers on a postage stamp.

-ends-

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Dreaming Of Sequins. Comical poem 733 by Angela Lansbury

 

Sequins, large and small, pink and green. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

I'm dreaming of gleaming sequins

Sparkly and flashy, perky as robins 

As rich as fake furs and ermine

Clothes for kings, chaplains and captains

You have nothing to lose by taking a cruise

Just be quiet about your diet

Eat and drink anything you choose

The menu - and dress code, are today's vital news

Cruse ships with space for smart cabins

With basins and hooks for hanging up oilskins

Swim in for drink in, then discos and dancing  

Swing in for sit ins and join in loud sing-ins

Dressed for the buffet, and grand cabaret

Eat enough food to last seven days

Teens deserting jeans for muslin, jerkins, poplins

Feathers and flounces deserving of praise

Sweet demure virgins see kissing cousins

Clowns, harlequins, fancy dress  - dozens

Napkins in rings, blinis and gherkins

Chickens from kitchens, pumpkins, then muffins 

After dinner, shake and shimmer

Better than pink gin, you always win

Like music on a violin

Dance in a disco and you'll stay thin

'Where have you been?'

'I've been out shopping'

Woollens soft as lambskins

Purses tough as pigskin

Not thrown in dustbins

Rescued by ragged urchins

Not clothes for goblins

For their spells and wild sins

Swimming, leaping, diving like dolphins

Slip out of swimsuits, borrow safety pins 

Enjoying tiffin, argue about vaccines

Jasmin or lupin handwash, aromas, perfumes

Heady like mountains and fountains

Like sov(e)reigns paid gold sovereigns

More mood-lifting than aspirins

Soothing like wearing moccasins

A sparkling, flittering sequin

As helpful as a vitamin

Energises like an endorphin

A magic mental medicine

Feminine, masculine

Guarded by the faerie Queen

The gaudiest, and loveliest

Sequins I have ever seen

In blue, green, pink and magenta

Silver, gold, red and fuschia

Taste, smell, hear and see the pleasure

In sequin's electric treasure.

-ends-

I typed in sequins, origin of the word, and other words for sequins, then up popped a website giving words which rhymed with sequins. So many of them that I had to write a poem, only slightly absurd.

https://www.wordhippo.com/what-is/words-that-rhyme-with/sequins.html

Clothes For Valentine's Day. Comical poem 732 by Angela Lansbury

Name a few things you can't resist

Chocolates, roses, your hand kissed 

I'm excited seeing sequins

I'm delighted buying bargains

In romantic candle-lit rooms

Slowly breathing in heady perfumes

Sparkling water, wine or Champagne

Bubbles say I love you again!

If you still need a Valentine

Find one who wants to pass the time

Match-making at singles dinners

Propose marriage, wedding winners

One day this thought climbed in my head

At my age I ought to be wed

Dating singles was not fun

With number two practise wedding one

I must admit that I'm surprised

We're still here fifty years done

Although we argue every hour

We make coffee and carry on

The secret is to send good wishes

Hand-made cards and do the dishes

Good wishes to all Valentines

Hope yours will last as long as mine.

-ends-

I changed 

Hope yours will be as good as mine

to

Hope yours will last as long as mine

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The Bus Driver In The Rain. Comical poem 731 by Angela Lansbury

Open top hop-on Hop-off Bus big-bus.com  and National Express intercity coach on a rainy day.

I'm waiting, in rain, for a bus 

It seems like waiting bloody hours

Long enough to wilt my flowers

Chat to strangers, don't make a fuss. 

I never moan nor do I cuss. 

It's not a late plane, just a bus

Great colour, yellow, blue or red

So I'll think happy thoughts instead.

Hello, here comes my lovely bus

It's such a beautiful big bus

I smile at all glum bus drivers

They and I are all survivors

Traffic jam delays, driving rain

Despite bus lanes, each day's the same

So, don't waste time in complaining

Work, smile all day, go round, again.

The best passengers say, 'Thank you

Driver!' You would never believe

How many, cheery, wave and smile

'Bye, bus driver!' as they leave.

-ends-

Money Secrets Revealed: comical poem 730 by Angela Lansbury

New hats and clothes give us a thrill

Our heart sinks when we see the bill

Money comes in, quickly goes out

Like sweet honey, won't hang about 

Window cleaners give house a fizz

No point in taking references

On every count they're bound to fail

They gladly tell shock tales of gaol

The government and common man

All follow one same simple plan

Here's a clue into what they do

Spend! Me first, family - last you

Glum accountants keep our accounts

Warns we, and they, spent large amounts

'The world's debts will end in sorrow.' 

'Spend today - we'll die tomorrow!'

-ends-

Please share links to your favourite poems.

About Angela Lansbury - my books of poetry

Poetry Pets & Pests

Angela's Alarming Animal poems

Poetry Workbook

 My latest book, Embarrassing Moments, is on Amazon, at a bargain price of well under ten pounds

My books are on Amazon.com, Amazon.co.uk, and Lulu.com

Take a look. You might like to buy one for yourself or a friend. 

See my other blogs on Travel, Wine and dine, and Dress of the day Angela. Please share links to your favourite blogs and posts.

Please follow me and share links to your favourite poems.

My Sequin Trail: comical poem 729 by Angela Lansbury

I bought a silver sequin skirt

To match my smart red sequin top

I planned to sew more on a hat

I ordered more in a job lot

I did not need them, for I found

My skirt dropped sequins on the ground

I could not stop the moulting top

From growing sequins like snowdrops

My skirt's dropping glinting sequins 

In every room where I go

If I commit the smallest crime 

The dumbest detective will know

Like Greek myth creatures in a maze

They'll follow all my dozy ways

In restaurants, malls and small shops

More well-dressed ladies also drop

On New Year's Eve, in discoteques

Plus places you would not expect

Teens seek attention on the trains

Like rainbows in drains when it rains

I've found them near, I've found them far

I've picked them up, stored in a jar

One day I'll have a great selection

In my precious free collection

I'll sew them on new clothes to wear

On caps and boots - braided in hair

Sequin delights I love to share.

So passers-by will stop and stare

They're colourful, washed clean, and free

Mirror the happy soul in me

Like dogs which stop to sniff a tree

Each tiny colour waves at me.

-ends-

Please share links to your favourite poems.

About Angela Lansbury - my books of poetry

Poetry Pets & Pests

Angela's Alarming Animal poems

Poetry Workbook

 My latest book, Embarrassing Moments, is on Amazon, at a bargain price of well under ten pounds

My books are on Amazon.com, Amazon.co.uk, and Lulu.com

Take a look. You might like to buy one for yourself or a friend. 

See my other blogs on Travel, Wine and dine, and Dress of the day Angela. Please share links to your favourite blogs and posts.

Please follow me and share links to your favourite poems.

I'm Glad I Wasn't There: comical poem 728 by Angela Lansbury

 I'm glad to say I wasn't there

When the hairdresser cut your hair

When bin men forgot to empty the bin

When the lounge ceiling fell in

I wasn't there when the British empire ruled

I hadn't even started school

I wasn't there in World War two

So I have got no beef with you

I'm glad to say I don't do law

Though I will witness what I saw

Not much happens and so I win

A day of peace in my kitchen.

-ends-

About Angela Lansbury - my books of poetry

Poetry Pets & Pests

Angela's Alarming Animal poems

Poetry Workbook

 My latest book, Embarrassing Moments, is on Amazon, at a bargain price of well under ten pounds

My books are on Amazon.com, Amazon.co.uk, and Lulu.com

Take a look. You might like to buy one for yourself or a friend. 

See my other blogs on Travel, Wine and dine, and Dress of the day Angela. Please share links to your favourite blogs and posts.

Please follow me and share links to your favourite poems.

Readers and Doers: comical poem number 727 by Angela Lansbury

 Some folks don't buy books for themselves

To give themselves a laugh or lift

They just by books at Christmas time

For children and neighbours as gifts

They never read to help themselves

Ask a chemist of doctor for health

Why pay, the NHS is free

And use a bank if you have wealth

The cleaner never reads my books

Nor asks me, 'What is life's meaning?'

She simply asks, 'When am I paid?'

Then gets busy with the cleaning.

-ends-

About Angela Lansbury - my books of poetry

Poetry Pets & Pests

Angela's Alarming Animal poems

Poetry Workbook

 My latest book, Embarrassing Moments, is on Amazon, at a bargain price of well under ten pounds

My books are on Amazon.com, Amazon.co.uk, and Lulu.com

Take a look. You might like to buy one for yourself or a friend. 

See my other blogs on Travel, Wine and dine, and Dress of the day Angela. Please share links to your favourite blogs and posts.

Please follow me and share links to your favourite poems.

Night Noise, In Bed, In My Head comical poem number 726 by Angela Lansbury

 Today, not guilty, glad to say

Last night not me who was snoring

Some else suffered from a cold

I was awake - bed was boring

So I leapt from my comfy bed

Thoughts circling round my useful head

I worried we'd be sick, late, broke

I gave the snorer one more poke

Sudden silence - did he survive?

If not, my fault he's not alive

Will he wake, accusing, angry

Or just like me feeling hungry

I'm sleep deprived, early rising

Run to the tempting computer

But better write in a notebook

Escape time waste advertising

Ads promise you the quickest route

Last week's destination station

Reveal last one sales, and scandals

In a far off island nation

The latest perfect remedy

If my long straight hair were frizzy

Ten things which could kill everyone

If you're feeling fine or dizzy

Five things everyone ought eat

Over-weight? Or constipated?

Must see the world's top ten hotels

Loved loyal dogs, under-rated

I must not use the computer

There's too much depressing bad news

A million men, shouting marching

In 1600, the brave few

I've finished my pointless poem

Time to go back to my cold bed

I need more sleep, for energy

Too much to do, in my full head

My eyes are shutting, while sitting

So I'll flop down and try to sleep

Ignoring the gentle snoring

In my own dream, vivid but deep

I'm yearning for breakfast, morning, 

But my brain's busy and buzzing

We're working honey bees in hives

But here's a good sign - I'm yawning

I'm too busy to seek out gods, 

And ask them, 'What am I here for?'

I know. Fate gave me lots of jobs 

I've made today's long list of tasks.

-ends-

About Angela Lansbury - my books of poetry

Poetry Pets & Pests

Angela's Alarming Animal poems

Poetry Workbook

 My latest book, Embarrassing Moments, is on Amazon, at a bargain price of well under ten pounds

My books are on Amazon.com, Amazon.co.uk, and Lulu.com

Take a look. You might like to buy one for yourself or a friend. 

See my other blogs on Travel, Wine and dine, and Dress of the day Angela. Please share links to your favourite blogs and posts.

Please follow me and share links to your favourite poems.