Knock, Knock, Who's There? Comical poem 736 by Angela Lansbury.

Knock-knock, knock-knock, knock-knock - 'Who's there?'

It's a stranger, better beware

A single, couple, plain, but odd

I do not wish to change my God

Don't get me started, not today

Although in debates I'm hearty

I don't want to change, with strangers 

My secret vote for my party

I won't tell if I like vegans

Or choose kosher or halal meat

I don't want to buy fruit or fish, 

Or to reveal which food I eat 

I am not keen on trick or treat

Please don't knock on the locked front door

Then run away, it makes your day

It's fun, until you see a gun

Angela Lansbury with the Singapore flag. Photo by Trevor Sharot.

In Singapore it is not allowed

To go around knocking on doors

Laws scared me, my first year out there

Thirty years on, I give applause.

-ends-

The Dolls' House comical poem 522 by Angela Lansbury

Fisher Price vintage dolls' house. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Why are some people scared of a tiny mouse

But feel in control of s small dolls' house?\

Is it becuase owners feel in control

When the dolls stay put and fulfil their role?

Dolls do what you want, don't say a word

Never the slightest objection is heard

They stand in the kitchen or lie in the bed

They are not alive but they're never dead

They don't move out or leave you ever

A doll is a friend who lives forever.

-ends-

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Ten Would-be Writers by Angela Lansbury

Ten newbie writers, backed against the wall
If they had too much to drink,
The tipsiest might fall
Leaving nine scared new writers, backed against the wall

One would-be writer fancied cosy crime
Did too much research, so now he's doing time
Climbed the highest mountain, so he had a nasty fall
Leaving eight scared new writers, backed against the wall

Eight dropped out of poetry and went to write a song
Severn was left wing and went to right the world's wrongs
Number six tossed dice and wrote a convoluted plot
Five co-authors, wrote five suspects and four endings they forgot

One slept on the floor, he was number four
A mystery writer vanished, that left only three
One would be writer ran off to reality TV
One writer left, one reader stayed - two, only you and me

I've been writing my first novel twenty years or more
I'm no longer a newbie, I'm the one you saw before
Why aren't you writing? Don't be a zero
Write me praise and thank yous and you will be my hero.

-ends-
Copyright Angela Lansbury