Readers and Doers: comical poem number 727 by Angela Lansbury

 Some folks don't buy books for themselves

To give themselves a laugh or lift

They just by books at Christmas time

For children and neighbours as gifts

They never read to help themselves

Ask a chemist of doctor for health

Why pay, the NHS is free

And use a bank if you have wealth

The cleaner never reads my books

Nor asks me, 'What is life's meaning?'

She simply asks, 'When am I paid?'

Then gets busy with the cleaning.

-ends-

About Angela Lansbury - my books of poetry

Poetry Pets & Pests

Angela's Alarming Animal poems

Poetry Workbook

 My latest book, Embarrassing Moments, is on Amazon, at a bargain price of well under ten pounds

My books are on Amazon.com, Amazon.co.uk, and Lulu.com

Take a look. You might like to buy one for yourself or a friend. 

See my other blogs on Travel, Wine and dine, and Dress of the day Angela. Please share links to your favourite blogs and posts.

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The Cure for Typos is Tea. Comical poem 652 by Angela Lansbury

 

What could go wrong?

I got up late. I need to state

That's why I made everybody wait.

When you're tired, mistakes don't take long.

I now know I'm not the only one at fault

We all make typos. When did I go to bed?

Today someone else has made a worse mistake 

Sent us white wine, instead of the ordered red.

I sang out of tune, a well known song.

It was karaoke. I got all the words wrong.

After all of my hype - oh

The first page of my book has a typo!

'Can somebody help me?

And not charge a fee?'

'Yes, I can help you -

If you can help me

'Can you proofread?

Say what I lack

I'd appreciate

Your feedback''

Your poem's sweet, short, succinct

But it would be neater

If it had less predictable rhyme

And found missing metre.

'Why is everyone so rude?

I'm sure that I've done something good.

You should encourage, not discourage!'

I'll dot the ayes and cross the tees and make a cup of perfect tea.

'Now you've offended me

I helped and got no thanks

I gave you feedback

But we've nothing in the bank

'If you didn't want help

Completing this task

You should not get offended

Or, you shouldn't ask.'

My first job is to like myself

The only way to help my health

I'm not a whining wino

My type's worst fault is a typo.

It takes a while to reconcile

Make myself and others like me

But we all feel better now

I've served and drunk a cup of perfect tea.

-ends.

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Why Not Try AI? Comic poem 483 by Angela Lansbury

 

Mobile phone case. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Once we were scared by a mobile phone

But now we can't leave ours alone

We've loads of them throughout our home

Missed out year one - wish we had known 

How I wish we hadn't grumbled

Everything changed when prices tumbled.

We feel scared by all things new

AI can help to pull us through

At first AI was scary and

It frightened me a little bit

Covid made us leave friendly rooms

But now we meet the world on Zooms

Wiki tells us all we need to know

We travel, see zoos on video

We lost bank passwords and were skint

But now do banking with thumb print

Will AI steal our writing jobs?

Now microwaves replace gas hobs

Well, some things change while others last

Saliva tests reveal our past

Videos show us traffic jams

And hit and runs caught on dash cams

Door cameras say the mail's arrived

We can hear baby's still alive

We see our children learn at school

And check the fridge-freezer's still cool

Rush through stations to catch our train

Driverless wonders on time again

I shop online - can AI cook?

It can if I supply the book

If  AI warns of fire and flood

Robots rescue - that must be good

While everything has negatives

I'll focus on the positive

AI was sent from Gods above

To match make and find us true love.

-ends-

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Comic Poems And Songs Are Serious Work (Comic poem 124) by Angela Lansbury

 

I'm trying to do some serious work (10 syllables)

I'm writing a comic poem (8 syllables)

I need to put my talents to good use (10 syllables) 

And not be universe owing (8 syllables)

I promised I'd write a poem each day (10 syllables)

I admit it looks like lying (8 syllables)

Not want of pay made me give up (10)

But no readers. I stopped trying (6)

Compare a poem to a bank account (10)

One might be earning you nothing (8)

But one's potential is a huge amount (10)

Which one is it? I'm still guessing (8)

I could be filing tax, or cook dinner (10)

Cooking's tiring, tax makes me faint (8)

By not writing, I'm a fraud, a sinner (10)

Wasting time, watching drying paint (8)

What's a real job? A doctor or a nurse (10)

 Replies depend on who you ask (8)

What's hard work? Telling jokes? Driving a hearse? 910)

We learn skills, practise, do a task (8)

Today I planned shopping - I made a list (10)

My excuse was it was raining (8)

My train and song spotting skills were not missed (10)

I'm retired, no-one's complaining (8)

I'm asked by life coaches and speech makers (10)

Why are you wasting precious time? (8)

Who are givers, takers, or waste makers? (10)

Artists, where do you draw the line? (8)

Would God say, I gave you another day (10)

What did you do? Threw it away? (8)

Write of your homeland, if you're a native (10)

Write of travels, be creative (8)

Youngsters fail, pretend to be amateurs (10)

Time and doubts pass, then words don't hurt (8)

Authors are word traders, entrepreneurs (10)

Now I'm old, so I'm an expert (8)

I wrote, sang my song, for baby, Ava, (10)

She's wide eyed, pays with a big smile (8)

"Mama, dada! Grandma! Hello - bye-bye!" (10)

I starred, centre stage, life's worthwhile! (8)

-ends-

Written Wednesday evening 30th March 2022.

Revised Thursday morning 31st March 2022.

Copyright Anela Lansbury