Night Noise, In Bed, In My Head comical poem number 726 by Angela Lansbury

 Today, not guilty, glad to say

Last night not me who was snoring

Some else suffered from a cold

I was awake - bed was boring

So I leapt from my comfy bed

Thoughts circling round my useful head

I worried we'd be sick, late, broke

I gave the snorer one more poke

Sudden silence - did he survive?

If not, my fault he's not alive

Will he wake, accusing, angry

Or just like me feeling hungry

I'm sleep deprived, early rising

Run to the tempting computer

But better write in a notebook

Escape time waste advertising

Ads promise you the quickest route

Last week's destination station

Reveal last one sales, and scandals

In a far off island nation

The latest perfect remedy

If my long straight hair were frizzy

Ten things which could kill everyone

If you're feeling fine or dizzy

Five things everyone ought eat

Over-weight? Or constipated?

Must see the world's top ten hotels

Loved loyal dogs, under-rated

I must not use the computer

There's too much depressing bad news

A million men, shouting marching

In 1600, the brave few

I've finished my pointless poem

Time to go back to my cold bed

I need more sleep, for energy

Too much to do, in my full head

My eyes are shutting, while sitting

So I'll flop down and try to sleep

Ignoring the gentle snoring

In my own dream, vivid but deep

I'm yearning for breakfast, morning, 

But my brain's busy and buzzing

We're working honey bees in hives

But here's a good sign - I'm yawning

I'm too busy to seek out gods, 

And ask them, 'What am I here for?'

I know. Fate gave me lots of jobs 

I've made today's long list of tasks.

-ends-

About Angela Lansbury - my books of poetry

Poetry Pets & Pests

Angela's Alarming Animal poems

Poetry Workbook

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Happy Birthday, comical poem 538 by Angela Lansbury

Angela Lansbury's portrait on a birthday cake. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

 Happy Birthday! Darling. Happy Birthday!

I bet you know half of what I will say

If you have lived twenty to fifty years

You've outlived half of your friends far and near

If you have lived sixty to eighty eight

It's far too late to be told to lose weight

So, whatever your fate, please never curse

You already know that things could be worse

When you lie awake and worry at night

You know that I'm right - a mosqito bite!

Worse than news you saw, a faraway war

It's worse, that's the truth, losing half a tooth

When you reach ninety to one hundred years

Yesterday's troubles don't move you to tears

Whether good people go or bad ones stay

By ten you're in bed and they're far away

If you should reach a hundred and twenty

You'll have gained and lost friends, you've had plenty

No point in mourning the good who have gone

Smile at four-year-olds' birthdays, life moves on.

Because when you reach a hundred plus years

You've outlived most of the world far and near

But there's one last thing which seems rather nice

Everyone listens to your good advice

The question they'll ask, you always knew it

Is, dear one, tell us, how did you do it?

Don't admit that haven't done all that you should

No-one else was there - make up something good.

-ends-.

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The Magic Letter E comical poem 515 by Angela Lansbury

Magnifying glass. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

I love the magic letter E

Like digging with a trowel

The letter e does work for you

It changes every vowel

The magic letter E

Is friends with you and me

I sometimes wonder, hey

What does the E do to the A?

It turns hat to hate

Turns pet rat to rate

It turns at to ate

Turns my fat to fate

I sometimes wonder why

You use E after I

It turns lit to lite

But turns spit to spite

It turns Mick to Mike

It turns lick to like.

What does E do to O

I've tried so now I know

It turns ho into hoe

It turns do into doe

It turns to into toe

What does it do for you?

Turns US tru to true

A girl called Su will sue

A French cru for the crew.

And at sea you can see

To be or not to be a bee

It's helpful and it's free

That magic letter E.

-ends-

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Weekend Gift Poem by Angela Lansbury Comic poem 2

Let's write a poem every day
The five day week ends Saturday
Read words aloud, sweep stress away
Relieved from work, allowed to play

Yes, this week I've worked hard enough!
Thought seeking rhymes in brains is rough
What sounded swell is turning tough
Let purists, jurists, judgers scoff

For no poem arrives too late
Except through Competition's gate
Revised too much and missed their date?
Create word gems, a winner's fate

What better way to pass the time?
Each verse a ladder you must climb
A problem solved with each paired rhyme
In coldest climes, make warm sunshine

I'm sure to raise a laugh, or half
While bubbling rhymes in bubble bath
In sarongs, trot life's happy path
Sing, glad we've shared our small, sweet laugh

Dog-friendly big eyes greet a third
Like perfume sniffed, your whisper heard
Share rose drinks, fun, wit, the absurd
Paint great palm forests from pearl words

Words like ingredients in a cake
When sleepy, tail-wag words will wake
When lonely it's a hug, handshake
A poem's lick's a gift to take.

-ends-
Copyright Angela Lansbury Feb 1st 2014
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