How Many Readers have I got? comic poem 410 by Angela Lansbury

Angela, Project evaluator at a meeting of a Toastmasssters International Club. Photograph by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

 

How many readers have I got?

Less than fifty, that's not a lot 

Oops, oh no, less should be fewer

I'm a re-reader, re-doer

Charlotte Bronte wrote just four books

She wan't known for her good looks

I've written more, how well I've done!

Though my best book counts buyers - none

Was it the book price or the size?

Was I too shy to publicize?

But I won't worry, nor be perplexed

When one book's done - on to the next!

Anne Frank's hidden diary, later unfurled

Now one of the best-sellers in the world

If you read this, what must I do?

Be proud of one reader, thank you.

-end-

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If I Were You, Fellow Traveller, comic poem number 350 by Angela Lansbury

 If I were you

I would speak Chinese

And not waste time

Saying thank you and please.

If I were the king

I'd make everyone speak the King's English

I'd ban Korean, and Greek

Bad Grammar, Creole, Russian, Vietnamese and Singlish. 

On second thoughts

We would learn Esperanto in school

An international language

Would be such a handy tool.

If I were you all the buses

And Sundays newspapers would be free

But f I were you

I would not be me

If I were a bee

I would make flavoured honey

Give beehives to every gardener and farmer

We'd all make lots more money

If I were a bird

I'd sing in tune, and parrot every word

Teacher's lessons repeated, re-heard

If I were not a bird-brained bird

If I were a horse

I would run fast of course

And neigh 'til I was hoarse

If I were an internet, animated, 3D horse

If I were a cat

I'd sleep on the mat

Catch mice as cat food, save money on that

If I were a cat

If I were a cloud

I could not laugh out loud

I'm sure it's not allowed

If you are a digital cloud

If I were a tree

How odd that would be

Much more animated than me

If I were overprinted on a 3D tree

If I were a fish

I'd swim in the pond or sea

Then be preserved in a car key ring

How lucky I am that I'm me.

Two colour suitcase in red and blue block colours. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

If I made travel goods

And make them all block colours

To go with matching clothes

Yes, I really would

If we had to start again

Maybe we'd all be men

All cocks and no hens

Pack unisex clothes, if we had to start again

Lastly, if I were you

That would never do

You know that it is true

For I'm me, and you are you

If you were in this room

And not just on Zoom

You could stand on the balcony

And watch tropical flowers bloom

Travel websites, now we've thought about it

Always tell the truth, I know you'll never doubt it

The museums closes Mondays, but on the web we travel far

Today I travel online, and love things the way they are.

-ends-

As the old Irish jokes goes, when asked the way, a bystander replied, 'If I were you, I wouldn't start from here.'

Following Rules comic poem 178

 Schools have rules and pools have rules

Even thieves and fools have rules

When to eat and when to sleep

Which rules to break, which rules to keep

When to say thank you and when to say please

Where to cough and how to sneeze

Rules to remember and rules to forget

And when you need to pay your debts

And how long should a poem be?

I think this is enough from  me!

-ends-

copyright Angela Lansbury 2023

Unrequited Love

Lost Love
by Angela Lansbury

You're just a happy memory
You found another somebody
You chose her and rejected me
Paths diverged for eternity

I had almost forgotten you
I made my life with someone new
I did what friends said I should do
Lived far away to erase you

So when you came and searched for me
My broken heart was mended, free
And I could smile, write hi, goodbye, and -
Thank you for the memory.

-ends-