I Must Protest comical poem 524 by Angela Lansbury

We've had Stop Oil

And Stop the War

I guess you've heard

It all before

Now Farmers  - should

Teachers deplore?

I wonder if

I should do more

I should explain

The simple facts

All want more pay

Service, less tax

I must protest

Not blocking roads

Not shouting, nor

Raising banners

I must protest

Not marching on

Nor screaming out

I've good manners

Ah counter. Angela Lansbury.

I must protest

Not throw hammers

I'll just correct

Others' grammars

I must protest

Life can't get worse

Drop punctua-

Tion nto verse.

I claim spell check

Should bear the bleme

Yet sometimes I

Miss spell my name

I shall not sing

Nor throw a fit

But at least, dears,

I've done my bit

I'll simply type

Out abc

Chant loud praise of

The dictionary

I can't do more

I've done my best

To help you laugh

Through today's test

Now that I've got it

It off my chest

We deserve drinks

A little rest.

-ends-

Moving Out, Moving On comic poem 359 by Angela Lansbury

What is in all those 200 boxes?

Eight years of living here and more before

There's ours, and mine, and his, and whose is this?

Moving, insurance, storage, cost us dear

I know that the right word should be dearly

Dear is an adjective, dearly's a verb, 

Clearly the word, but no time for grammar

Container leaves, LaLa courier van's heard

We've more to pack, our motorbike gets lunch

Sushi eaten sitting on a suitcase

We've more cardboard storage boxes to fill

Lined up outside our former now locked place

Where have your lovely bookcases gone?

The new renter's agent, smiling, stops, asks

I wish we could have been in touch with her

Maybe for friendly win-win deals or tasks

We paid to have new shelves towed, thrown away

I wish we'd had time to sell or leave them

We'd one month to cancel bills, pack, and go

Could not sell nor save the landfill from them

We've now moved in a serviced apartment

Busy with goodbyes and minor matters

We paid for a large place with a kitchen

Clean and neat 'til filled with all our clutter

We have to throw half six boxes away

Going home on a plane with three cases

Rescued my water jar from lobby niche!

(But later left milk in the hotel fridge!)

Three more hours packing on Cashew landing

Keep thinking, hoping, we've nearly done it

We are still packing, sealing, cardboard cases

Front door keys gone, but I need a toilet

Luckily curious residents pass

See suitcases piled in the downstairs hall

They stop to ask, 'Moving?' I answer, 'Yes.

May I use your toilet! Thanks!' 'Not at all."

I have to take off my shoes at their door

Protect from dirt their clean, cool, white tiled floor

I might not do this next year in Europe

But I know it's this way in Singapore

Their shoe rack has a handy seat on top

You sit to take off, or put on your shoes

Every day I travel I learn new ways

Some special, new, smart things to buy and choose

I just made brand new friends, hello, goodbye

Brief pleasures ease the pain of moving out

Pool, coconut palms, cockroaches, all end

We'll make new friends in the new place, no doubt.

-ends-

Copyright Angela Lansbury 2023. Please share links to your favourite poems.

Practising The Past - comic poem number 144 by Angela Lansbury

If you're having trouble

Grammar muddles your head

Here's a rhyme about time

Just recall what I said 

When we walked and we talked

All of yesterday

I thought of a way

To put troubles away

Five minutes ago

He said show what you know

About he said and she said

Just go with the flow

He said that you said

That I said that he said

That they said that we said

He never said what she said

But she said that you said

That I said that he said

That they said what we said

She never said what he said

I think now we agree

That yesterday we said

What he said she said

And she said that he said

The question is what we said

Not what he said and she said

But now that he's dead

Who cares what she said!

Now that we agree

On what he said and she said

The past is the past

So I'm off to bed.

Hammer Grammar - whilst swimming

Cashew Heights Condo Swimming pool Photo by Angela Lansbury.

You can begin

Thinking English

Whilst in the gym

Or whilst you swim

Whilst in the gym

Or swimming pool

You can repeat

Some simple rules

In the mirror

When in the gym

He looks at me

I look at him

She looks at her

Notes what she saw

Of what they did

And what they wore

While by mirrors

Keep fit or dance

Watch the teacher

Copy, one glance

It's so simple

My dearest friends

The subject starts

The object ends

I want to learn

I need a guide

A guide outside

A guide inside

The teacher's job's

To help you start

Get you going

To give you heart

But why should I?

Why should I try?

Must keep alert

Or I might die!

Don't fear, my dear

I'm glad you ask

'cos whilst I swim

I multi-task

Avoid deep water

Because my friend

I swim only

In the shallow end

Grammar lessons?

Because I think

Moving forward

Whilst in 'the drink'

In the drink is

A metaphor

Opens your mind

Opens a door

Similes use as 

Same as or like

I swim and learn

Fast, like I bike 

Alliteration's

Our last great thought

Remember what

Your teacher taught

Angela reading a poem, Be busy as a bee.

You just repeat

The first letter

Make your sentence

Sound much better

Like the sunlight

Twisting, turning.

Swimming slowly

Lovely learning.

-ends-