Happy Birthday, comical poem 538 by Angela Lansbury

Angela Lansbury's portrait on a birthday cake. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

 Happy Birthday! Darling. Happy Birthday!

I bet you know half of what I will say

If you have lived twenty to fifty years

You've outlived half of your friends far and near

If you have lived sixty to eighty eight

It's far too late to be told to lose weight

So, whatever your fate, please never curse

You already know that things could be worse

When you lie awake and worry at night

You know that I'm right - a mosqito bite!

Worse than news you saw, a faraway war

It's worse, that's the truth, losing half a tooth

When you reach ninety to one hundred years

Yesterday's troubles don't move you to tears

Whether good people go or bad ones stay

By ten you're in bed and they're far away

If you should reach a hundred and twenty

You'll have gained and lost friends, you've had plenty

No point in mourning the good who have gone

Smile at four-year-olds' birthdays, life moves on.

Because when you reach a hundred plus years

You've outlived most of the world far and near

But there's one last thing which seems rather nice

Everyone listens to your good advice

The question they'll ask, you always knew it

Is, dear one, tell us, how did you do it?

Don't admit that haven't done all that you should

No-one else was there - make up something good.

-ends-.

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Stuck Behind A Bus comic poem 440 by Angela Lansbury

London open top guided tour bus. 2024. July. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

 

I was stuck, stuck behind a bus

Stuck behind a bus, stuack behind a bus

Bit I did not make a lof of fuss

Make a lot of fuss, make a lot of fuss

When you're stuck behind a bus

There's not much to discuss

No need to should and cuss

Behave like the rest of us

Things could be worse

No need to shout and curse

You could be a driver

Of a a big unwieldy buss

Only one driver

But a lot more of us

So be patient and wait

When you're stuck behind a bus.

-ends-

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A Pantoum Has Repeated Lines comic verse 348 by Angela Lansbury

 

A pantoum has repeated lines

You start and end it with line one

It saves the poet lots of time

It\s easy, looks smart, lots of fun.

You starts and end it with line one

Lines two and four in the next verse

It's like a wave, start and be brave

You need a strong line like a curse

Lines two and four in the next verse 

End with four verses, made from three

You need a strong line like a curse

It's easy friends, don't you agree?

End with four verses, made from three

It's easy, looks smart, it's good fun

It's easy friends, don't you agree

You start and end it with line one.

-ends-

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Photo of Angela Lansbury with large pencil.

Talk To Whom? Listen To Me!

 

Angela Lansbury <annalondon8@gmail.com>	00:53 (10 hours ago)
to me

A thousand people read my blog

And treat it like the word of God

The source of health, the source of wealth

'til they convert to something else

I make them vow that they'll come back 

Before I send them on their way

Yes, I've true words which must be heard

I'm never short of things to say

You can write your hopes on the train 

And pray to all gods on the plane

Your hope that you will land again

Pray to clouds for more or less rain

If your room, money, wife or life

Is muddled, mangled, in a mess

Why should the universe send help

It shrugs and won't care more, or less

You can talk to the sun, send mail

Write to Santa, sing to the sky 

Run down the street, stop passers-by 

And ask them why the end is nigh

Do no exaggerate your fate

Nor underestimate life's wait

Powerful praise can raise dim days

So do not curse the universe

In the tropics, see no seasons

Proves nothing's done, for good reasons

Then when I'm dead just talk to me

I promise I won't disagree

Every parent's a great teacher

Passing lies like a good preacher

All wise books, websites and pages

Knock down sages of past ages

Don't ask why? Why not? Do not ask

But every day, do each small task

Small troubles? Darling, you'll be fine

Big ones? Not me - call 999 

I shout to God, 'Don't let me die!'

I don't expect a quick reply

Just because I'm in a tizzy

Doesn't mean karma's not busy

Then when I'm dotty, deaf and blind

What can I hope to leave behind?

Framed photos all around the home

A message on a mobile phone

If I want immortality

My best hope's pretty poetry

To leave last words, witty, pearly

One must write one's last words early

Please, when I'm dead send me huge hugs

Warm wishes wrapped in Chinese rugs

Smile at the poster in my hearse:

Goodbye dear Queen of nonsense verse.

By now you have guessed my intent

To make sure you leave here content

Now's the time to state my mission

End works with a happy vision

If there were heaven, I'd be sat

With orchids on a golden throne

Eating bagels and smoked salmon

Smiling like a Cheshire cat.

-ends-

About the author

Angela Lansbury B A Hons ACG ALB PM5 EH5 DL5 VC5 
The Author of several books, including  Etiquette For Every Occasion. Wedding Speeches & Toasts. How to be the Best Man. Quick Quotations. Who Said What When.

Blogs travelwithangelalansbury.blogspot.com

dressofthedayangela.blogspot.com

translateforfun.blogspot.com

Braddell Heights Advanced Toastmasters Speakers Club Vice President Public Relations (VPPR), Previous President

Join BHA 1st Wednesday 7pm and 3rd Saturday 2 pm Singapore time 

Vice President Public Relations (VP PR) of Tampines Changkat Advanced;

Secretary of weekly online Singapore International Dynamic Toastmasters Speakers’ Club;

Member and past president of Harrovians toastmasters club, UK; Past member of HOD Toastmasters, London. Past member in Singapore of: Toastmasters Club of Singapore (TCS); Tiarel; and Senja Cashew.

More details from Toastmasters International find a club.

Regular attendee at annual Swanwick Writers’ School, England.

Regular attendee at annual Writers’ Holiday, Wales.

Contributor to poetry readings, and after tea courses on: Speaking On Radio To Promote Books; and Plots And Character.

Winner of many club and area speaking contests in the UK and Singapore.

Language advisor to Empire Toastmasters club in Indonesia.

Language and speech workshops in Singapore.

Speaker on radio and TV in England, Scotland, the USA, and Australia.

Compiler of a school course on public speaking for teachers to prepare pupils for school open days with attending ceremonies before government ministers, Singapore.

Former member of Harrow Writers’ Circle, London, and two writing groups in Singapore.

Angela is on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Pinterest, Twitter. She would be delighted to link up with new friends.

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