Hearing Children Running And Screaming

 Hearing Children Running And Screaming

by Angela Lansbury

Small children love to jump and run

They won't stay still, running's more fun

They like to push, scream, splash and shout

They zig zag, bump, fall, leap about

They race and fall, parents don't care

Kids knock you down, they like to share

They do not speak if they can shriek

I'll die or go deaf by next week

Save sanity, observe these rules

Don't live beside an infants' school

Don't read beside a swimming pool

Save hearing, bruised limbs, with these tools.

Remember granny's old wise words

Kids look cute, seen, - not raced, nor heard!

I want to speak but hold my breath

I think their Mum and Dad are deaf.

-ends-

Useful Resources

https://simple.wiktionary.org/wiki/Wiktionary:Mai

https://www.wiki-calendar.com/

About the Author

Angela Lansbury is a travel writer and photographer, author and speaker, fashionista. Please share links to your favourite posts or one or more of the blogs

Books include Wedding Speeches and Toasts (Ward Lock/Cassell)

Quick Quotations (Lulu.com) 

travelwithangelalansbury.blogspot.com

dressofthedayangela.blogspot.com

https://comicpoemsbynutter.blogspot.com/

https://comicpoemsbynutter.blogspot.com/2020/12/how-to-write-christmas-card-poem.html

For one hour online individual tutorials or group workshops contact

annalondon8@gmail.com

How to write a Christmas card poem + Comic Poem No 131 Christmas Crackers

CHRISTMAS & ANNUAL EVENTS

 1 To write poems for cards in advance, select an occasion, or series of occasions, such as:

Anniversary, Birthday

Christmas, Belated Christmas

New Year

Religious Christian/Other religion such as Jewish Hanukah/Secular

Make a small file to store your first drafts. Write down rhymes or rhythms or free verse ideas.

...

ANIMALS, PEOPLE, PLACES, TRANSPORT

Animals/Birds🦊🦄🐔🐄🐑🐪🐘🐿🦕🐓🦃🦢🦜🦉🐧. 

Beloved Cats, Dogs naughty or missed, pets, annoying or cute.

Animals: flocks of sheep, manger, cows, sheep, donkeys👀

Domestic animals: birds, cats, dogs, rabbits

Reindeer

Transport: Sleigh, husky dogs, horses

Season: sun; snow; before and after.

Location: Middle East, Jerusalem 

Humans

Central People: baby Jesus/Jesus/ Mary💖

Visitors: three Magi, Shepherds, visitors, strangers, passers by

Garden, yard, trees, wood, forest✔

.....

FOOD, DRINK AND DINING ROOM

Food; Turkey 

Dessert: Christmas pudding, 

Tea time: Christmas cake, yule log, stollen, panettone

Wine: mulled wine, red wine, pink, white wine, bubbly, Champagne

Dinner, supper, midnight feast🎉

table, chair, tablecloth

buffet❤

feast

candle, candle light

...

SEASONAL CELEBRATIONS
Gifts: parcel, present, wishes🌹🎁

Photographs Merriment: jokes, laughter,

Go through a dictionary of synonyms to find alternative words.

For example, 

tree, forest, branch, leaves, wood, fir, pine, cones

adore, appreciate, cherish, love, lust, love, marriage, show affection, worship

donate, gift, give, loan, present, share

family, love, mate, kith and kin, extended family, brothers and sisters, in-laws, significant other, mother, father, Dad, Mum, granddad, grandmother, grandchild, son, daughter, sweetie, offspring descendants

Go through a rhyming dictionary to find rhymes:

For example:

bed, head, bedhead, red, read, said, 👍

angel, bell, dell, Del, fell, heaven and hell, sell, tell, well

all, ball, call, fall, gall, hall, mall, pall, small, tall

bring, ding, ringing, ring, sing, singing, wing, winging, queen, king😃

Christmas day, far away, bay, gay, hay, holiday, jay, lay, may, neigh, pay, ray, say, tray, way

be, yet to be, Dee, fee, free, glee, he, me, see, she, tea, tee, three, tree, we, Zee🌴☘

wreath, beneath, heath, teeth

gift, lift, miffed, rift, sift, 😍

live, forgive

mice, nice, slice, spice🥠🍿🍓🍏🥕

above, love💖

prove, smooth, soothe

bow, doe, foe, go, ho-ho, Jo, Joe, loh, low, mow, know, no, row, show, snow, tow, woe

fleece, peace, 💋

calm, harm

been, dean, Dene, jeans, teens, lean, mean, teen, green, queen, seen, screen, wean,

Cream, scream 

cope, dope, hope

awoke, bloke, joke, mope, nope, Pope, rope, soap, woke😊🎉

clappy, happy

clap, mishap, tap

go, know, mistletoe😜

heaven sent, ornament, well spent✔

beer, clear, fear, year💕

Read your poem to another person or two or three to get their ideas, objections and corrections and additions to the subjects, recipients, people and events described.

Look up other Christmas cards to see their messages.

Find your previous year's Xmas photo for inspiration.

Useful Websites

dictionary.com

https://messages.365greetings.com/

About the Author

Angela Lansbury is a travel writer and photographer, author and speaker, fashionista. Please share links to your favourite posts or one or more of the blogs

Books include Wedding Speeches and Toasts (Ward Lock/Cassell)

Quick Quotations (Lulu.com) 

travelwithangelalansbury.blogspot.com

dressofthedayangela.blogspot.com

https://comicpoemsbynutter.blogspot.com/

https://comicpoemsbynutter.blogspot.com/2020/12/how-to-write-christmas-card-poem.html

Christmas - Crackers!

by Angela Lansbury

When white snow paints rooftops and icy ground

When goodwill glitters grumbles all around

When sweet singing fills the frosty air

Ice skating, theatre, dark nights at the fair

When the golden bells are ringing

When the well-dressed choirs are singing

When people madly, badly dance in red and green

When parcels, ribbons, bows are seen

When the winter trees are green

Bright lights are white, or new and blue

When the seasons turn around

That's when thoughts turn from them to you

I think of a wide-eyed laughing child

I think of teens, parties so wild

I think of happy times we had

I think of you and I feel glad

Whether you're near or far away

Those best of times will always stay

That cinema inside I see

Re-plays happy days for you and me

So thank you for fond memories

For over-eating festive food, and sleeping after toasts with fizz

Our photos show the safety mask we know

Thoughts of bad and good old days make new days glow. 

TIME TO PLAN A POETRY YEAR! - Angela's Ten Commandments, Checklist for a poem or poem blog post

 

1 PICK A THEME

 Choose themes for the year, or a them for a blog or book on poetry. Philosophical, comic, historic, news and contemporary, famous people, politicians, presidents, anything you want to learn, anything you want to teach, recipes in verse. 

2 PLAN A REGULAR WRITING TIME

Write early in the day, at lunch time, or at night. You may be able to schedule publication of your posts. Where are most of your readers? In which time zone? Do you want to attract more of them? Or to target others?

3 PLAN A PLACE TO WRITE

A desk. A poetry notebook by your bedside. A poetry notebook in your pocket. Write the page numbers, titles, index, and your vital name and address or email in case you lose the book and want it returned.

4 CHOOSE A TITLE 

Have a page of titles. You could even write the titles for every month for a calendar, or every week, or every day of the years.

5 PLAN PRESENTING OR MARKETING

Read a poem at a meeting, as a time filler if the speaker is late.

6 Check syllable count

7 Check intonation

The most popular is dum dee dum dee

But if you start with the word a or the your sentence becomes dee dum, dee dum 

8 Move the drama to the start and end of each poem and verse

9 Surprise

10 CLARIFY AND FOCUS

If you have two stories, events, ideas, maybe you have two poem. If not, you need a link.

11+

Add facts or links. Author details. References. Credit to photographer for photos. 

Useful Resources

https://simple.wiktionary.org/wiki/Wiktionary:Mai

https://www.wiki-calendar.com/

About the Author

Angela Lansbury is a travel writer and photographer, author and speaker, fashionista. Please share links to your favourite posts or one or more of the blogs

Books include Wedding Speeches and Toasts (Ward Lock/Cassell)

Quick Quotations (Lulu.com) 

travelwithangelalansbury.blogspot.com

dressofthedayangela.blogspot.com

For one hour online individual tutorials or group workshops contact

annalondon8@gmail.com

New Poem Plans For The New Year - my Plans and Yours: Illustrations, Revisions and Themes

My friend Linda S writes poems to put in Christmas cards. The strange thing is that I consider this way beyond my capabilities, although I have written poems on all sorts of subjects. If you wrote a couple of poems every day for a year, by the time it gets to Christmas, you would have at least one couplet which you could use in the year's Christmas card. 

What have I don for myself and you in December 2020?

In December 2020 I have revised my comic poetry blog. I added a picture to start every poem. That was my main objective.

ILLUSTRATIONS I had three choices.

1 Add any picture which fitted the theme. Use Wikipedia for out of copyright pictures.

2 Spend time hunting for a cartoon.

3 Take a photo from around the house. For example, for a suitcase to fit a poem on packing lists.

However, whilst adding the illustrations, I read through each poem, and decided to check the syllable count of the poems

REVISIONS

1 I added an extra verse to poems of two verses to make the classical form of three.

2 Except limericks. I am thinking about making limericks into groups of three with a link between the theme of the three.

3 I checked the posts which had fewer readers and made the title more catchy.

4 I moved the best lines to the end of each verse to make punchline effect.

MORALE

1 At first it was disheartening to see how many poems needed fixing. However, it was heartening to realise that I can see how much progress I have made in writing poetry and creating blogs over the past year.

PLAN

Now I am much better placed to write a ten commandments of writing poetry or a checklist for homework when I teach.

STORY MEMORY

I remember coaching a pupil to write a ballad for her homework. First we both looked up ballad in different dictionaries.

Then I asked her to find a theme. She was blank.

So I suggested she wrote down ten ideas. I suggested three or four. Books. Computers. Trees. Birds. Cooking. Zoos. She chose cooking and computing. I told her to look around the room and pick eight more words. Desk, Pen kettle and so on. She wrote ten.

As a teacher and home tutor I am not allowed to do her homework or course work. She had to make all the decisions.

She chose computer. I was surprised. Rather modern for a sonnet.

But it was her choice, her creation, her homework. And she had to write about something about which she felt enthusiastic.

The result she created was just so-so, in my opinion. But we had fulfilled the objective. Get the homework done. Her mother could not help. Her mother spoke English as a second language.

Before the lesson, neither the mother, not the pupil, nor I (!) knew or remembered the two classical forms of sonnets.

I had not realised how simple a sonnet was to write. Just three four-line verses, ending with a couplet.

Imagine my surprise and joy when the next week the mother thanked me because her daughter's poem was top of the class! The poem was entirely the girl's own creation. All credit for the poem went to her.

I had simply shown her the steps to take. Check the sonnet form. Choose a subject. Write a grid for the poem form on the page. Approve or revise the titel. Eliminate repeated words unless you are using them for effect. Clarify and add detail. Find alliteration. Check syllable count. Read aloud to check rhythm and readability.

An hour's effort to complete the draft with crossing out. Another hour routine to present it properly. She went home and rewrote it or typed it so the teacher could read it, adding her name and the date. So, I reckon an hour to write my first draft poem. Another hour to illustrate, add references, check spellings and typos.

But all credit for the teaching went to me. Before the lesson started, she didn't even know what a sonnet was.

What had I gained? from that lesson, I had earned money for the hour's lesson. I had learned to write a sonnet. I had a pupil who was happy to come to the lesson, because I solved her puzzle, her problem. The mother was satisfied with money well spent, homework done, and daughter an achiever.

And I had learned how to write a sonnet.

What have I gained from a year writing poetry, and three sessions of on and off days revising the poetry blog?

Now I must write a sonnet for New Year's Day 2021. I must also prepare a plan for the year. A poem a day. But I mustn't waste time. No need to waste time. I often write a poem whilst swimming or travelling to and from the pool. In the UK in the car there and back. In Singapore waiting for the lift.

What have you gained?

1 Amusement from reading poems.

2 Insight into how it is done.

3 The possibility of starting or improving your own poetry writing.

4 A plan or scheme to write to time, every day, or every morning,

5 A plan for a theme through the next year. Such as poems on the seasons or weather. Or the political news of the day. Events. People. Philosophy.

6 The chance to help others by helping your children or grandchildren, teaching pupils.

7 Help choosing a teacher to help your children write creatively for fun, or do homework.

8 A chance to find me or another (such as me) to help you complete tasks in good English or write creatively for fun.

9 Finally, an opportunity to use the suggested skills on proof-read, or edit a publication of poetry or prose.

10 Useful lists of resources.

Useful Websites

dictionary.com

songwritingacademy.co.uk/international-songwriting-conference-2018/

https://www.thesaurus.com/

https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wiktionary

https://www.wiki-calendar.com/2021-calendar

About the Author

Angela Lansbury is a travel writer and photographer, author and speaker, fashionista. Please share links to your favourite posts or one or more of the blogs

Books include Wedding Speeches and Toasts (Ward Lock/Cassell)

Quick Quotations (Lulu.com) 

travelwithangelalansbury.blogspot.com

dressofthedayangela.blogspot.com

Her Name Was Becky, she wasn't a techie - comic poem by Angela Lansbury

 

Her name was Becky; she wasn't a techie

She wasn't a fool, 'cos she went to art school

She wore a short dress - it was such a success

No boy could resist when that girl did the twist!

Her ear-rings shook, long - she could do nothing wrong

Black eyes, her face pale, one ex-boyfriend on bail

But what did he break? She claimed, 'just a mistake'

She got in a muddle, lost keys, such trouble

Yet she smiled, easy-going, always such fun

She quoted her Mum - 'there's someone for everyone'

She was my best friend, but, all good things must end

She married young. Why?  Had had a baby begun?

She did well for herself, found a millionaire

He was short and bald, she chopped off her long hair

I often wish I could find her, somehow

Bohemian Becky - please - where is she now?

-ends-

Based on my friend Cynthia. She went to art school. She had short hair and long dangling ear-rings. In the Swinging Sixties. We travelled to Greece, Turkey and Israel together. She married young. We lost touch.

About the Author

Angela Lansbury is a travel writer and photographer, author and speaker, fashionista. Please share links to your favourite posts or one or more of the blogs

Books include Wedding Speeches and Toasts (Ward Lock/Cassell)

Quick Quotations (Lulu.com) 

travelwithangelalansbury.blogspot.com

dressofthedayangela.blogspot.com

Gotta Get A Hat

 If you want to get attention

You have to get a stunning hat

Like Ascot hats with a big brim

To make chattering classes chat

If you're a super sporty type

Wear your favourite baseball cap

Not to opera, on the bus

So cool! There's nothing wrong with that

I'm not a sporty type, but fat

And so I wore a swimming cap

And posed beside a diving board

And asked a stranger, "Take a snap!"

If a lawyer goes slightly bald

Or silver grey, somewhat thinning

He's lost his comb, left wigs at home

A big hat's a bold beginning

I was partying New Year's Eve

Alas, I dropped my Covid mask

So I grabbed a spare Santa hat

And hoped no-one would know or ask

In olden days top hats looked tops

Paper hats from crackers were free

Streakers used hats for picnic pee

Teens in toy hats acted as cops

A hat brim shields you from the sun

You must admit big hats are fun

When a dicey courtship's begun

Wear your best hat - the race is won

So now we've had this little chat

Goodbye - may I borrow your hat?

-ends-

I changed the end from fetch my hat, which adds a note of finality, to the humorous end. 

Useful Websites & Resources

https://simple.wiktionary.org/wiki/Wiktionary:Mai

https://www.wiki-calendar.com/

About the Author

Angela Lansbury is a travel writer and photographer, author and speaker, fashionista. Please share links to your favourite posts or one or more of the blogs

Books include Wedding Speeches and Toasts (Ward Lock/Cassell)

Quick Quotations (Lulu.com) 

travelwithangelalansbury.blogspot.com

dressofthedayangela.blogspot.com

https://comicpoemsbynutter.blogspot.com/

https://comicpoemsbynutter.blogspot.com/2020/12/how-to-write-christmas-card-poem.html

For one hour online individual tutorials or group workshops contact

annalondon8@gmail.com

At The Wedding - A Parent's View

My goodness - they have filled the room

With exes of the bride and groom

I've got a lot that I could say 

But they would wish I'd stayed away

I could say that she's been around

I could say he's hard to tie down

I could say, I really worry

I could ask them, what's the hurry?

I could say, yes, she is a dear

You should have married her last year

I could have asked, what took so long?

Those ons and offs!  Now, what went wrong?

They won't let me give a speech

At top table we're out of reach

Our chief job is to sit and smile

Not tell the bride to run a mile

I sat and read the seating list

I've noted all the good  friends missed

But out of that small, happy crowd

When they said their vows, who laughed so loud?

 I saw the tall, wheelchairs, the small, 

The old, the young, the thin, the fat, 

That girl who wore the biggest  hat, 

The usher with no tie, nor hat 

They say our son is quite a catch

They don't say my hat doesn't match

It's what it is, not what it ain't

Because the room's too hot - I faint

I sit down. But soon recover

Looking pale like a grandmother

Our minister, we'd two, now one

Just carries on until he's done

We've donned finest hats and dresses

For two hours forget all stresses

A voice declared them man and wife

In other words, you're stuck for life

We're off to lunch to eat our fill

Just pay the bill, son, change your will

You two are now hitched up for life

Politely called a man and wife

The best man, who should be on guard

To stop a fight, is trying hard

Best man's a Dad and looking thin,

 His girl's had five - they live in sin

Thee best man wore a funny hat

He stood up, his first joke fell flat 

He hints secrets he'll never tell

Unless he's drunk - let's wish them well!

The groom is swaying, too, I think

He must have had too much to drink

He's lots to hide from his new bride. 

Her parents, and exes beside 

I've got so much I want to say

I'll leave it till another day

I won't tell them all that I know

I'll never say, I told you so.

She chose to forsake all other

Mother, father, sister, brother

He never heeded our advice

Although we told him once, then twice

Once married, he will quickly find

His wife will want to change his mind

On everything he thought was right

What he buys and does, dawn 'til night

Yet she will think the same is true

Once being wed's no longer new

Though two can live as cheap as one

To overspend's now twice the fun

I'm not sure which one's the winner

Just McDonalds making dinner

I'm sure they'll muddle through somehow

Best news - it's not our problem now.

Photos show us in our glory

That picture tells half the story

The photos show how glad I feel

Her lot, like ours, not down at heel

There's no cost for simply bedding

But you need cash for a wedding

The newly-weds to work must set

To pay off all their wedding debt

I hope their marriage lasts a year

So I'll retire and disappear

We've a spare room, with junk, at home

If they want me, I'll Answerphone

Being a mother was quite tough

But I've survived hurdles and rough

I've done enough. But I can't quit -

They'll soon demand I babysit!

A wedding proves what we all know

All that can go wrong will do so

I hope that you'll give me applause

Was our wedding like yours - or worse than yours?

-ends-

Angela Lansbury Nov 15 2020

Poetry Revision Notes

The first draft improved after i made every line eight syllables

I made each verse end with a surprise

I changed 'and one or two others beside' to the more specific 

Her parents, and exes, beside

I changed

Two can get twice as little done

Alternative endings:

Our wedding was the same as yours

Was our wedding the same as yours?

About the Author

Angela Lansbury is the author of 20 books, 10 by traditional publishers, ten self-published through Lulu.com the print on demand system.

Angela's books include:

Poetry Workbook - A handy book for yourself or a friend who is a poet, adult or schoolchild. The poems are amusing and there's a handy guide to all the formats, such as the two main styles of sonnet, the numbers of syllables in haiku, villanelles and so on.

In addition to other posts on this blog, please bookmark and share linkes with your colleagues and friends and family to the two  most written and most read of my other 20 blogs:

travelwtihangelalansbury.blogspot.com

dressofthedayangela.blogspot.com

The Washing Machine Cycles Round and Round

I really don't mean to be unkind

But is there a word for label-blind?

I'm so glad nobody sees nor knows

The machine is dirtier than the clothes!

 The washing machine whirls round and round

Whining ominous clinking and clanking sound

But clothes well-tossed, emerge clean, scrubby washed

Now I'll be in trouble if something is lost!

The hot drying's done before you can blink

I rescue the woollens before they can shrink

My husband's vest's white, the last one went pink

The thought's bad enough to turn me to drink!

The socks are mostly matched in pairs

The wash and I remove creased cash and hairs

I proudly pile all on kitchen chairs

And try to forget common washing scares!

Into the dirt the clean clothes drop

I've paired twelve torn socks but lost one sock 

The socks love playing hide and seek

When I'd hoped to have enough pairs for a week!

I found the missing sock later today

After I'd thrown its mate away

But washing's done, I feel a winner

I'm wearing clean clothes - and just spilled the dinner!

-ends-

Nov 15 2020 Sunday. Written by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

About the Author Of This Post, Angela

Angela Lansbury, travel researcher/writer and photographer, author and speaker. 

Author of Wedding Speeches & Posts, Etiquette for Every Occasion, Quick Quotations, Who Said What When?

You can contact Angela through Facebook, LinkedIn, and Braddell Heights Advanced Toastmasters on Facebook or Toastmasters Interntional.com find a club . Angela is a member of four Toastmasters Clubs and BHA IPP, Immediate Past President, and VP PR (Vice President Public Relations) for 20202-2021

Please share links to your favourite posts in

travelwithangelalansbury.blogspot.com

dressofthedayAngela.blogspot.com

A Poem For Those Who Protest They Hate Poetry

If you don't like no poetry
Turn away, say it's not for me
Poets are from both far and near
From Pam Ayers to revered Shakespeare

There's Keats, we quote him all the time
Red as a rose and Auld Lang Syne
Don't go on a poet's diet
Keep fit with couplets, just try it

Try writing couplets, laugh out loud
Yes, quickly entertain a crowd
If you hate songs and poetry
Happy birthday, not you, just me.
-ends-
copyright Angela Lansbury 2020 June 22

About the Author Of This Post, Angela

Angela Lansbury, travel researcher/writer and photographer, author and speaker. 

Author of Wedding Speeches & Posts, Etiquette for Every Occasion, Quick Quotations, Who Said What When?

You can contact Angela through Facebook, LinkedIn, and Braddell Heights Advanced Toastmasters on Facebook or Toastmasters Interntional.com find a club . Angela is a member of four Toastmasters Clubs and BHA IPP, Immediate Past President, and VP PR (Vice President Public Relations) for 20202-2021

Please share links to your favourite posts in

travelwithangelalansbury.blogspot.com

dressofthedayAngela.blogspot.com

How Many Laughs? (To Encourage Comedians)

How many Laughs?
by 'Hazel nutter'
also known as Angela Lansbury

Today I decided I ought to save
My great jokes to leave beyond the grave
If you can't yet sing, song-write or paint
No use dreaming what you could create

The only thing that we all can do
If we can't tell lies from what is true
When lawyers and tax split your pennies in half
The only thing you can leave is a laugh

How many laughs will you leave behind
Can you entertain the deaf and blind
The widow and the widower
The employee and the employer

The orphaned, lonely, or crowded out
The undecided and deeply devout
To entertain both him and her
And those confused but willing to share

Those who frown with pencil raised
And those who gush with endless praise
And those who curse, this isn't verse
And those who shrug, it could be worse

The paralysed and the amputee
Examiner and examinee
Not only them but you and me
Yes, we, often neglected, ordinary

How much time do you need to spend
Making sure that you don't offend
One puzzled, cross, glaring or staring
In the crowd of those gleefully nudging and sharing

Will you leave behind a simple snigger
A smile and nod - or something bigger
Repeating jokes often told before
But twisted to add a tickle more

A laugh as loud as a deep guffaw
That's sure to rise to a riotous roar
A joke winning friends, raising funds for a cause
Extended 'til givers give you applause

For children, toddlers, women and men
A joke once heard, often re-told, again
Which sends a smile to brighten a day
A smile which stays wide and won't drift away

I would love to be one of the best
I can't help smile when I think of Mae West
Her jokes are subtle, though slightly rude
Her jokes grow good health, they're mental food

How many laughs can you leave behind
Let them tumble joyfully out of your mind
Write, spread joy's what you're meant to do
The returning reader who laughs could be you..
-ends-
28 April 2020 

The Dorset Prayer Answered by Angela Lansbury (aka Hazel Nutter)

Della Galton asked for a Dorset song for her book. I wrote:
Here you are. I checked local landmarks and legends online. Here's an ancient Dorset song, from 8.50 April 21st 2020, by Angela Lansbury. It starts


:I went to St Catherine's Chapel,
For it's said she will answer your prayer,
'Please send me a husband, who's wealthy'
But only two poor men were there.

One of them said to me, 'Darling,
Why don't we go for a walk?
I'll take you to see the great giant -
Whose ample physique is carved in the chalk!'



I said, 'Sorry, dear, you're not for me
For you're poor as a little church mouse.'
To scare him away, I ended the day
At haunted Athel-hampton House!

Mother said, 'Our sensible God only helps
A person with skills who will help himself.
You can add up a bill and read lots of books
What else does a man need to share health and wealth?

'You're young and pretty but age fades your looks
What's missing, that's lasting? You must learn to cook!'
So off I went, to take cooking lessons
Guess who I married? I married the cook!

We went to the chapel to marry
'Cos Saint Catherine had answered my prayers
What's more she provided as witness
Those two ragged beggars, still hoping there.
-ends-
first draft, improved version will be added later.


Dorset