My goodness - they have filled the room
With exes of the bride and groom
I've got a lot that I could say
But they would wish I'd stayed away
I could say that she's been around
I could say he's hard to tie down
I could say, I really worry
I could ask them, what's the hurry?
I could say, yes, she is a dear
You should have married her last year
I could have asked, what took so long?
Those ons and offs! Now, what went wrong?
They won't let me give a speech
At top table we're out of reach
Our chief job is to sit and smile
Not tell the bride to run a mile
I sat and read the seating list
I've noted all the good friends missed
But out of that small, happy crowd
When they said their vows, who laughed so loud?
I saw the tall, wheelchairs, the small,
The old, the young, the thin, the fat,
That girl who wore the biggest hat,
The usher with no tie, nor hat
They say our son is quite a catch
They don't say my hat doesn't match
It's what it is, not what it ain't
Because the room's too hot - I faint
I sit down. But soon recover
Looking pale like a grandmother
Our minister, we'd two, now one
Just carries on until he's done
We've donned finest hats and dresses
For two hours forget all stresses
A voice declared them man and wife
In other words, you're stuck for life
We're off to lunch to eat our fill
Just pay the bill, son, change your will
You two are now hitched up for life
Politely called a man and wife
The best man, who should be on guard
To stop a fight, is trying hard
Best man's a Dad and looking thin,
His girl's had five - they live in sin
Thee best man wore a funny hat
He stood up, his first joke fell flat
He hints secrets he'll never tell
Unless he's drunk - let's wish them well!
The groom is swaying, too, I think
He must have had too much to drink
He's lots to hide from his new bride.
Her parents, and exes beside
I've got so much I want to say
I'll leave it till another day
I won't tell them all that I know
I'll never say, I told you so.
She chose to forsake all other
Mother, father, sister, brother
He never heeded our advice
Although we told him once, then twice
Once married, he will quickly find
His wife will want to change his mind
On everything he thought was right
What he buys and does, dawn 'til night
Yet she will think the same is true
Once being wed's no longer new
Though two can live as cheap as one
To overspend's now twice the fun
I'm not sure which one's the winner
Just McDonalds making dinner
I'm sure they'll muddle through somehow
Best news - it's not our problem now.
Photos show us in our glory
That picture tells half the story
The photos show how glad I feel
Her lot, like ours, not down at heel
There's no cost for simply bedding
But you need cash for a wedding
The newly-weds to work must set
To pay off all their wedding debt
I hope their marriage lasts a year
So I'll retire and disappear
We've a spare room, with junk, at home
If they want me, I'll Answerphone
Being a mother was quite tough
But I've survived hurdles and rough
I've done enough. But I can't quit -
They'll soon demand I babysit!
A wedding proves what we all know
All that can go wrong will do so
I hope that you'll give me applause
Was our wedding like yours - or worse than yours?
-ends-
Angela Lansbury Nov 15 2020
Poetry Revision Notes
The first draft improved after i made every line eight syllables
I made each verse end with a surprise
I changed 'and one or two others beside' to the more specific
Her parents, and exes, beside
I changed
Two can get twice as little done
Alternative endings:
Our wedding was the same as yours
Was our wedding the same as yours?
About the Author
Angela Lansbury is the author of 20 books, 10 by traditional publishers, ten self-published through Lulu.com the print on demand system.
Angela's books include:
Poetry Workbook - A handy book for yourself or a friend who is a poet, adult or schoolchild. The poems are amusing and there's a handy guide to all the formats, such as the two main styles of sonnet, the numbers of syllables in haiku, villanelles and so on.
In addition to other posts on this blog, please bookmark and share linkes with your colleagues and friends and family to the two most written and most read of my other 20 blogs:
travelwtihangelalansbury.blogspot.com
dressofthedayangela.blogspot.com
