I Have To Start Somewhere comic poem by Angela Lansbury 187a

I turn on the Zoom

And what do I see?

Some funny faces

All looking at me!

Some sit in smart suits

And some look quite odd

But they stare at me

As if I'm a God!

Some are my old friends

And some must be new

Some look familiar

But I have no clue

 Some  people are hot

Some people are cold

Some wide-eyed, so young

Some wrinkled, gray, old

Some silent and shy

Sit back with clasped hands

Some bright, forward, bold

When asked, wave hands

One speaks upside down

Teeth glow in the dark

A dog in a mask

Drags  twins round a park

One poet's fat, in sparkling pink

One strokes a long, white divided beard

One is pouring a frothing drink

No, they're not, as weird, as I feared

I do hope, my darlings

I've caused no offence

I swear, I don't swear

That was not what I meant

That was not my intent

Some have been slimming

Just back from swimming

They shrug when losing

Smile wide when winning

I am not perfect

But have a good plan

When things go haywire

Change subjects, you can

Some leaders look warm

Some stay calm and cool

Some fine as wine, wise

Or well-meaning fools

I hear clocks ticking

I'll read you what's new

I have lots to say

My poems aren't few

Maybe you wonder

Where we are going?

Wait 'til I tell you

You've no way of knowing!

My words like balloons

Words float like bubbles

We're carried away

Forget our troubles

Word rivers flowing

Coming and going

We've so much to do

I reach out to you

I won't give you fears

I won't give you tears

I collect laughter

Joy heard through the years

Soon I must move on

Soon we'll all be gone

But in a small while

I'll leave - a big smile,

-ends-

The word leave in the last line is ambiguous. leave the room, but also leave behind warm, happy smile

My Funny Family (version 7) poem by Angela Lansbury

My Funny Family
by Angela Lansbury

My family is very strange
But they are extremely funny
Some of them are obscenely rich
Won't help us who beg for money

My mother talked for twenty years
But never stopped to pause for breath
Father always smiled and nodded
Nobody noticed he was deaf

Dear Mum didn't think it mattered
After we lost my mother, dear
I asked my widowed Dad, 'Tea? Tea?"
And realised he could not hear.

My uncle played the violin
Better than all, than me or you
Won scholarships, played on cruise ships
A fine player, but stone deaf, too!

Played for radio, BBC
A fine player, not one wrong note
He left me books on lip-reading
He'd been deaf as an old, dead goat.

Poor Uncle's toilet filled with weed
He had no cash for a plumber
Instead he taught one the trumpet
Yet the toilets stank all summer

My son says, "You're the weirdest one
'Cos you write comic poetry!"
I can't see why he thinks I'm odd
My family's more strange than me.

-ends.

 Copyright Angela Lansbury, May 12 2017.

Grammatically it should end more strange than I am but me rhymes. Poet's license.