Jolly Obituary For Daddy comical poem 583. by Angela Lansbury

Netta and Albert Lansbury. Wedding Photo. 1943. Copyright Angela Lansbury.

I had a long and happy life

I had a short but happy wife

She always did her best for me

I had a lot of cups of tea

I had a lot of holidays

You like home when you've been away

I never had the I'm bored blues

I watered plants, mended old shoes

Every day I went out walking

I'm deaf, my wife did the talking

I got too tired to go to town

So I played bridge, actively, sitting down

All lives endure some sun, some rain

I think of sun and don't complain

I wish that I had died at home

I'm sorry to leave you alone

Others complain their life was tough

'though mine was good, I've had enough

If one's life is like a train

No need to do it all again

I don't want reincarnation

My train's reached its destination

Live in or let or sell my home

I won't know what's on my tombstone

I watched my diet, took my pills

A month is too long to be ill

I've done the washing, paid the bills

And everything is in my will

I've told you eveything I know

And so it's time to let me go

I had a short but happy wife

I had a long and happy life.

-ends-

Sums up what my father said in hospital. A practical man. Opthalmic optician. Born 1912. Died 2005.

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The Eulogy comic poem 505 by Angela Lansbury

 

Robbing Hood, illustration and photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

We're here to praise our darling son💪

Shot by a bad, dastardly one

Our son was always sweet and kind

Gave to the deaf, what he'd robbed from the blind

Although he never was in school 

Self-taught, street-wise, he was no fool

He had a house of guns and knives

His only motive saving lives

He was the most popular of the blokes

All danced with him when he showed them the ropes

His fingerprints showed he'd tightened them

But he'd only meant to frighten them

He'd killed ten people with one blow

A blow can kill, he didn't know

He'd spent time, too long, in detention

For - deeds which we'd rather not mention

The town's filled with his mourning chums

And a long line of single mums

He was a man who had a vision

Of going straight, for one day, when leaving prison

He led a short and happy life

Ten kids, six girlfriends and a wife

His kids will miss what they never had

The perfect, loving, anti-hero Dad.

-ends- 

Robbing Hood is a pun on the character of Robin Hood.

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