Events And Password Barriers comic poem number 417 by Angela Lansbury

 I'm hunting for my event

I wonder where the people went

I wonder where the login went

A brand new code has been sent

Am I needed half past ten

Opens at nine, leave coat and then

A breakfast for the lucky few

Who know what websites want you to do

The PR girl is looking fraught

With unclaimed freebies she has bought

She wonders where all the press went

They'vre hunting for her event.

A website is your buiness page

A website is your business stage

I wish I didn't have to say

Three passwords, then I've gone away

I might come back another day

When my frustration's gone away

You ask me, dear, where we all went

To some friendly login event.

-ends-.\

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Mosquitos, what everybody knows, comic poem 416 by Angela Lansbury

 As everybody educated knows

I don't like fleas, big bees, wasps nor mosquitos

I don't like to see bites on my fingers

Nor my face, legs, body, back or toes

I do not like to hear them flying past

A sudden silence fills my mind with dread

I don't like them flying, living, dying

I'm not even keen on them drop dead

I don't like them flying around my house

In the kitchen, shower, bath, near the bed 

I don't like one anywhere near me here

I fondly wish them somewhere else instead

If they are gone tomorrow we'll forget

On bad days, things could be worse, they're a curse

Each job, ask or task could be much worse yet

By adding in bites from a mosquito.

Now I've sprayed away, is there any good

When you hear that whine, droning mosquito? 

I've no measles chicken pox, polio

Shingles, meningitis, no tests - I know

No harm from friendly spiders, helpful bees

Good! Not meningitis nor impetigo

No rashes, scorpions nor a hornet

It's just the buzz - of losing a mosquito.

Windows are open, hope it won't take long

Before enemy number one has gone

Then I can sing a happy, cheerful song

About the right to right a dreadful wrong.

-ends-

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Anti-fly comic poem 415 by Angela Lansbury

 What am I angrily against?

I am anti all biting flies

I sat saerching the 'net for help

Wearing double heavy disguise

I didn't find any answers

But left with bites on my hands 

And more on both sides of my legs 

The one thing left, my useless eyes.

Whilst I'm a peace-livng person

Who wild-life lovers rely on

I'm still not terribly keen on

A flea, crocodile or lion

You may still be wondering why

I wnn't say I won't hurt a fly

If useful fly spray came my way

I'd certainly like to try one

Flay and Wasp Killer spray. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

I'm not into eating insects

Wish they felt the same about me

I don't want a fly in my soup

And I don't want to be its tea

Whatever bit me in the night

You must admit, with sympathy

In this war I am in the right

The fly, or flea, started this fight

So far this game's one up to them

I beg them, don't do it again

I've zinc ointment, but start to scratch

I must admit I've met my match

I itch. I'm cross.  if I catch one

I swear it's biting days are done

With a spray, or iron, be gone

There's no more fun until - I've won.

-ends

Every Flower Has A Happy Hour comic,happy poem 414 by Anggela Lansbury

 

Y

Here's something new you need to know

In gardens funny flowers grow

Buttercups, dots, shiny yellow

Won't spoil green lawn, make a meadow

Dandlions are soup, not weeds

Every plant can fulfil needs

Giant sunflowers, from small seeds

Shoots grow fruit, apples will feed

Fruits art from Home Food on Facebook.

Tiny daises, giant roses

Pick the flowers, present posies

You can pick them, have no fear

Cut them down, then more appear

\

In winter time they disappear

But they come back again next year.

Cheer the elderly or ill

Tall orchids on the windowsill

Some flowers exude sweet perfume

\Which wafts across to fill the room

Helps you relax and breathe in deep

Flowers grow while you're asleep

They seek the sunlight, lean drunk in rain

A second season, can't complain

Dead head those you think are dead

The bulbs next season flower again

Where do autumn flowers go?

In winter time they hide from snow

All wise five-year-olds soon know

Next spring more bright blooms will grow

Garden flowers, red and yellow tulips, on my windowsill. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Some are red and some are white

Some fold up to sleep at night

Ltft up joyfully in daylight

Promise all will be all right.

Flowers last a week or two

But when they fade, don't feel blue

It's not the fault of me and you

That is just what flowers do

Yellow tulips in the garden in London spring 2024. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Flowers rise and flowers fall

Climb keen to cover broken walls

Every colour gives a silent call

I love each one, I love them all.

-ends-

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Flowers, purples, red and yellow, in a windowbox, The Broadway, Hatch End. London. England. Photo by Angela Lansbury.

The Cost of Lost - and Found comic poem 413 by Angela Lansbury

Magnifying glass. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Why does a worker turn up late

Assisted by a toothless mate

The one with a hole in his sock

Yet solves the problems of the block?

The window's stuck, you see this catch

Oh, no - I left it on the latch

Now he and I can both explain

We do not need his help again

Just when you reach the doctor's door

Your pain is troubling you no more

How often troubles go away

No matter what the helpers say

Kind amaterurs are everywhere

But even when they simply stare

The help is floating in the air

It lands on you when help is there

'This is the port I thought I bought

From the estate of the late Mr Bates'

''Can you help me look for my book?

You must have moved it!' It's lost. He's cross.

'This cork is tough,' and I'm feeling rough

I'm running for the train but I'm late again

We've lost the keys and can't be pleased

I've lost the slide, looked far and wide

My mind is turning round and round

I sing it and search in Sound Hound

She's not on the list, how can she be missed?

This is the game, mis-spelled the name

Copied from an email, where it is short

Felt fraught, so glad that error's caught

The email's gone, what could go wrong?

I can't remember the name of the song

It's going to be one of those days

I sent Chinese condolences - for a birthday

The thing he'd lost was black, not white

We found it hiding in plain sight

I respond at once when he gives a shout

We were perplexed by the bottle topper

Try heat, or seal, to release the stopper

Now can you help me get the stuck cork out?

***

After former friend had too much to drink

I heard and  I saw the way she swore

I think I heard  this had happend before

Instead say 'sugar', or 'funny', make more

I need to keep mind in good health

You can often solve a problem yourself

This is the problem, we explain, again

The answers appear like sun after rain.

All day we're feeling sad and perplexed

We've solveed one problem - then up pops the next.

A verse's extra syllable - again

Simple, lengthen all lines from eight to ten.

-ends-

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Hidden Words Revealed comic poem 412 by Angela Lansbury

Magniying glass on dictionary of new words. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

 Words should always reveal

But they sometimes conceal

Now I have forgootten

The meanig I'd hidden

Now I must convess that

I'm in such distress that

If you have clearly seen

what you think that I mean

There are messages you must not send

And loan words which you must not lend

Like in French saying Le Weekend

In case you offend all your friends

You know more than the poet

If that's so you should show it

By writing down new words

To show what you just heard

With some innuendo

To rise to crescendo

There are some things you should

Other which I don't want to know

Your problems with your mental health

I wish you'd keep them to yourself

And if you want to change your sex

And leave your poor parents perplexed

Or change your country or your faith

I'm glad that' I'm not in your place

Words keep changing and so we try

To make our elders wonderi why

The British gay, American guy

And God be with you's now goodbye

I used to worry about Bombay

It's now Mumbia, Beijing, Peking

Constaniple, Instnbul, I don't want to look a feel

Is using AI really cheating?

I still get cross about fewer and less

When foreign students make a mess

Don't call them foreign, or he or she

I wonder what the've calling me?

What can I send the birthday boy

To not give anger, only joy

Once pink for boys, but now it's blue

Not flip flops, thongs, nor brand name shoes

I won't send poems, only floers

But they bothered me for hours

Eigh's lucky, you must avoid four

Wait, even numbers, there's lots more

Some like even, others odd numbers

Like four letter words, make grammar blunders

Red means we're lovers, lllies for the dead

Was it something that I said?

Mustn't say you're thinner or fatter

Shrug it off, spelling doesn't matter

Take out commas, they confuse

Plurals have a lot to lose

There's Thai silk, and faux leather

Sometimes I wonder whether

My pre-loved, worn once clothes were ever loved

By triplets below or someone above

Don't leave yourself or your  reader disayed

By word games which we all have played

Frankly, I've had enough trouble today

Reading the label on my marmalade.

-ends-

Someone above I originally meant one God, but the meaning could be you have inherited never worn clothes fro the clearance f the house of someone who died.

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One Word - love comic poem 411 by Angela Lansbury

Happy Birthday plate at restaurant. Photo by Trevor Sharot. Copyright.

I've just one word

Which I'll repeat

At home, in bed

And in the street

When I'm moody

Look black as coal

You make me whole

You lift my soul

Sometimes you ask

What's here for me?

If you feel sad

I'll set you free

But I am sure

That's you'll soon see

That I love you

And you love me

When I'm moody

And black as coal

You make me whole

You lift my soul

That's why you are

My better half

When I am cross

You make me laugh

You've just one word

Which you repeat

At home, in bed

And in the street.

What is that word

Like sun above

A simple word

That word is love.

-ends-

I watched the Eurovision contest. They brought back three members of once winners ABBA. THye have a one word name.  Easy to type and say. Their hits were easy to sing along to and remember. One or two word ditles. Waterloo. Dancing Queen. Positive, triumphant messages.