Dear Friendly Aspiring Poets - A Simple Task comical verse 653 by Angela Lansbury

 Dear Friends, Ill set you a simple task which has one aim

Write a couplet or verse which includes your good name.

My name is Angela and I'm happy to use it

My favourite saying is use it or lose it.

-ends-

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The Cure for Typos is Tea. Comical poem 652 by Angela Lansbury

 

What could go wrong?

I got up late. I need to state

That's why I made everybody wait.

When you're tired, mistakes don't take long.

I now know I'm not the only one at fault

We all make typos. When did I go to bed?

Today someone else has made a worse mistake 

Sent us white wine, instead of the ordered red.

I sang out of tune, a well known song.

It was karaoke. I got all the words wrong.

After all of my hype - oh

The first page of my book has a typo!

'Can somebody help me?

And not charge a fee?'

'Yes, I can help you -

If you can help me

'Can you proofread?

Say what I lack

I'd appreciate

Your feedback''

Your poem's sweet, short, succinct

But it would be neater

If it had less predictable rhyme

And found missing metre.

'Why is everyone so rude?

I'm sure that I've done something good.

You should encourage, not discourage!'

I'll dot the ayes and cross the tees and make a cup of perfect tea.

'Now you've offended me

I helped and got no thanks

I gave you feedback

But we've nothing in the bank

'If you didn't want help

Completing this task

You should not get offended

Or, you shouldn't ask.'

My first job is to like myself

The only way to help my health

I'm not a whining wino

My type's worst fault is a typo.

It takes a while to reconcile

Make myself and others like me

But we all feel better now

I've served and drunk a cup of perfect tea.

-ends.

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Busy Dizzy Days comical poem 651 by Angela Lansbury

First I make a shopping list

Keen that nothing should be missed

On my way to do the shopping

In a hurry, can't be stopping

 First I pass the lush green grass

Pause. Put my nose near a red rose

Stop to take a photograph

Smile at new neighbours, wave, joke, laugh

Window shopping, what is new?

In the shops, read each label

Find a bargain, if I'm able

Patiently, join a long queue

Back at home, I'm a winner

Arrived just in time for dinner

But I'm asked, 'What went wrong?

Why did you take so long?'

Tramp Davies wrote, 'What is life if full of care

You have no time to stand and stare?'

That's the thought of shameless, aimless young

I'm old, less time, more to be done

Rush. Make sure each day's got lots of value in it

I do not want to waste a precious minute

Then when I stare, I sort useful thoughts

Of what I should do with bargains I've bought

Is there anything I might be needing?

Does the garden need seeds or weeding?

Do I need cover to protect my knees?

Should I plant herbs, which attract birds and bees?

Do I want to dig dirty potatoes?

Better stick to quick growing green and red tomatoes

Photograph, sunlight makes trees dappled -

'Let's go out and pick some ripe apples!'

Save leftover food for another day

Turn the excess apples into puree

Brief stop for snacking on what I like most

Cheese and butter melting on hot seed toast.

Cheese and toast with coffee. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

***

Write, then. go out to enjoy today, 

Because tomorrow it might rain

Make another short list, start again

I'm busy writing, happy and don't need to explain.

-ends-

I changed 

then at last join a long queue 

to 

Patiently join a long queue.

The first version explains why I am late in the next verse.

The second version contrasts my dawdling with my husband's impatience to start dinner.

The toast (with mushrooms) was, in fact, breakfast. My picture shows toast with cheese for elevenses.

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. But my husband says, don't keep changing it. The flow is better with the first version.

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Holidays, Hotels, Homes, Husbands - The Opposite Of What You'd Expect comic poem 650 by Angela Lansbury

Pretty Riversides - Insects Beside

 The good is often bad and the bad's good

Things don't turn out the way you think they should

Those cute hotels perched by fly riversides

Attract unwary diners, backless brides

Attractive Perfume On Holiday

My flower perfume attracts mosquitos

In New Zealand as ev'ry Kiwi knows

You need to wear long sleeves and covered toes

Ugly, triple layer, repellent clothes

Homes By Sweet Streams

And if your house stands beside a sweet stream

Life's not the pretty dream which it might seem

It's dangerous to toddlers, backing cars

And drunks who walk out watching up there stars

Lovely Lakes - Fun For Dog Detectives

Rivers and lakes look lovely in the day

Until at night a car misses the way

Long after parents die, children dry tears

Dogs find six drowned wrecks, after sixty years

Growing Fig Trees - Like Jack & The Beanstalk

And my small fig tree which refused to grow

For years had only one small fig to show

Wrong kind of figs, small, hard, only for stew

Now giant fig tree shoves our home askew

Fruit - Tasteless Blueberries & Tasty Strawberries

The blueberries we think will be a treat

Have no taste, though they are easy to eat

Bright red strawberries are hard as we fear

Yet really tasty, one week of the year

Fruit - strawberries, raspberries and blueberries,. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Hopeless Or Helpful Husbands

I married late, I thought worst of the bunch

Grumpy husband, gave hugs, made lovely lunch

 The good is often bad and the bad's good

Things often don't end how you thought they would.

-ends-

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Do You Have A Butterfly Mind? Refuting an accusation, humorous poem 649 by Angela Lansbury

 

Butterfly. Free pic from 

 Do you have a butterfly mind

Leaving all the bad weeds behind

Some like to finish all they do

But others hop to something new

A butterfly mind's no disgrace

Pretty butterflies have their place

They do not touch the dirty ground

But fly about and hop around

Somebody once asked me, if I

Had a mind like a butterfly

The conversation wasn't of his choosing

I'd thought I was being amusing

It all depends on the time and state

But when I must, I concentrate

When all is done, one can move on

Divert or yawn when it gets late

A butterfly on plants or plates

Can fly over fences and gates

It's pretty, amusing, flies over walls

Better than being pretty dull.

-ends-

I meant to write a song comical poem/song 648 by Angela Lansbury

 I wrote a poem today

Cute, Clever. So what went wrong?

I wrote a poem today

But I wished I'd written a song

A funny poem can be a moment's fun

It's personal, when aimed at one

But a song can entertain the world

Brighten dim dawns, console setting suns

A simple phrase can become all the rage

Words which dance, leap off the page

I'd rather enhance, strut across a stage

Despite age, wave a mike, sing a song

One famed speech for an investiture

Inspires students of tender years

Calms fears, moves to laughter or tears

But a strong song adds emotional gestures

Songs evoke nostalgia, love and laughter

Provoke, stoke, stroke, prevent a murder

Songs entertain, drummed, hummed forever

Bring millions hope and lasting pleasure.

-ends-

Today and Tomorrow - editing yesterday's errors comical poem 647 by Angela Lansbury

Upside down out of date calendar on fridge. Photo by Angela Lansbury.

 Today and tomorrow, early and late

I'm ready to move on, please wait

I'm learning all the vital words

Spanish and Swahili, must be heard

The trouble is I contemplate

Am I the mistress of my fate?

Today I'm already too late

Today's poem will have to wait

I'm still correcting yesterday's

I went to bed expecting praise

I woke, and saw no comma, a space

Typos and erors all ove the place

I edit to set it all right

Pefecting what seemed right last night

I need to fix, mend, yesterday

Before I move on to today

Alas the clock said it was noon

And heading for the afternoon

I've sorted yesterday, moved on

Ready to start more things half done.

-ends-

The God I Wish For comical poem 646 by Angela Lansbury

Dove peace image free from Pixabay.

I hesitate to interrupt

I know the lord's busy because

You don't have time to think about peace

When you've got so many wars. 

I often think that books deceive

I don't believe all that I read

I only judge by what I see

And this is how it seems to be

The way I'd like the world to be

If I were you and you were me

One who would never desert me

One I'd trust to never hurt me

He deserves praise, in countless wasy 

He brightens days with the sun's rays 

He waters the buds and  flowers

Tireless for hours, with April showers

He also send the slippery snow

So I stay in, now that I know.

The one who made the birds and bees

I might believe did it for me

But, alas, I don't believe

He made tsunamis just for me.

I must admit that it's a puzzle

But as I my fruity breakfast guzzle

I do not pray, no sir, no Ma'am

If he wants me, he knows exactly where I am.

I brush these troubling thoughts away

The universe puzzles bigger minds

Which leave my mundance thoughts behind

I know more than the deaf and blind

Don't show others I'm in a tizzy

But, like the Lord, I must keep busy

And never ask which group has won

But keep creating, mend what's breaking, - carry on! 

-ends-

Embarrassing Moments Misunderstanding Language comical poem 645 by Angela Lansbury

Singapore's a country I really like

But I must offer a word of warning

They tell you to 'off' your phone, light, Mike',

Meaning turn, not carry. Is light dawning?

They called me he, when I think I'm a she

I waited for somebody else to speak

But they were waiting for the speaker, me

They beckoned. If not, we'd have waited a week.

In Mandarin, he, she and it are the same

So it's safer to say sombody's name.

They asked for my team when they meant my theme

What are tea trees? They mean three teas.

And pilots on Singapore flights

Just before they turn off all the lights

And wish you all a pleasant night

The pilot will wish you a peasant fright.

In England on our tiny island

I met a man who came from Thailand

He said he worked for the loyal bank

It took me a while to spot Royal bank.

Over in France, such a shame

We were confused by a hotel name

Why was Hotel de Ville closed?

It means the town hall, as each French person knows.

In France I was asked if I wanted some tea

So naturally, proudly, I said, 'merci';

I watched the tea strangely go

In French Please means yes, but Thank you means no.

-ends-

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I dream of Peace comical poem 644 by Angela Lansbury

Peace Monument, USA. Wikipedia.

 

I dream of a fast lasting peace

When former enemies shake hands

And common working, farming folk

Have marching, drumming, trumpet bands

And round the squares the banners wave

And kings pin mdals on the brave

From devastation good must come

When armies of young rebuild slums

Let's get the moguls to invest

New cities, railways, build the best

New skyscrapers will fill the sky

Over ashes, a new Dubai

Give all what quizzes say they need

Forgive gangsters for confessed deeds

Give workers long paid holidays

Workdays watch tennis, evenings, plays

The last thing done before we die

Is film ourselves using AI

Like new museums' holograms

Answer all questions on webcams..

-ends-

.https://www.ilholocaustmuseum.org/virtual-museum/

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https://comicpoemsbynutter.blogspot.com/2025/08/i-dream-of-peace-comical-poem-by-angela.html

New Look At Us Old Treasures comical poem 643 by Angela Lansbury

 I love old styles like art deco

The swirls and curls of art nouveau

The mirrows might show off-white teeth

But smiles hint layered wit beneath

My home's a store, chutney pleasures

I hoard hordes of games and treasures

Old gold, like jewels to behold

Old friends' names kept like Scrabble games

Old wonky drawers, parquet floors

Extending tables, solid doors

A garden where old roses grow

Dictionaries of words roots I know

No empty days, so much to do

More words creating something new

Wrinkles draw stories on faces

New shops, revive, open places

Roman stones found when we build new

Can the old folk be me and you

Grand children do not see grey hairs

But gladly climb the steepest stairs

Grandchildren glow and learn old games

And we remember old friends' names

We've read all books, know how to cook

And don't judge everyone by looks

Instead dress up when it's required

Effort ensures that we're admired

Retired, create, before expired

Share piled knowledge we've acquired

Though it's harder to push pedals

We display prizes and medals

Just like an old but comfy car

The world's amazed we drove so far..

-ends-.

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Performance Poets comical poem 642 by Angela Lansbury

 

Angela Lansbury with her 2025 book Embarrassing Moments. Left, Emma Purshouse, with her book It's Honorary, Bab, which I bought and she signed, and Steve Pottinger with his book Snapshots from the fall of home, which I bought and he signed. 

These people jump around the stage

And make their words leap off the page

They wave their arms, exuding charm

Extend alarm and life's choices in funny voices

With black and white looks

And red and black books

Beard, brunette, blonde, words stick like honey

Always say yes, do anything for money

Putting a new slant on old news

Guess which rhymes follow from old clues

Rainbows of fun flow like clouds across the blues

A heady mixture of truths, lies and surprise.

-ends-

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Opposites Attract omical poem 641 by Angela Lansbury

 Fruit is always good 

But biscuits are bad

Manics are happy

Depressives are sad

Opposites attract

Like us then when young

That's why we argue

Til everything's done

Some are astonished

And say, 'May I ask

How do you manage

To finish a task?'

We just struggle on

Each day's a surpise

When we see the world

Through another's eyes

You see only black

I see only white

You see only day

I see only night

You see it's all wrong

I say it's all right

That creates our strength

Gives us second sight.

-ends-

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Fruit For Tea comical poem /song 640 by Angela Lansbury

Fruit salad. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright. 

Early breakfast in pyjamas

Orange orange on a white saucer. Photo by Angela Lansbury.  Copyright. 

Oranges, and bananas

Yellow banana. Photo by Angela Lansbury.  Copyright. 

In the fridge what do I see?

Strawberries we save for tea 

What shall we have for our tea?

For our tea, for our tea

What shall we have for our tea?

Not today, On Sunday

I see big red strawberries

Strawberries, strawberries

I bit big red straberries

For my tea on Sunday.

Ripe red fresh fruit. Finest flavour in August in London. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright. 

What shall we have for our tea?

Not today. On Monday

We can have big raspberries

Raspberries Raspberries

Not for tea on Sunday

For our tea on Monday

What do you like? What do you say?

For our tea on Monday.

Big blueberries. Photo  by Angela Lansbury.  Copyright. 

Blueberries, blueberries

I love to see big blueberries

I'd like to eat big blueberries

For our tea on Tuesday

 Blackberries, blackberries

I see big blackberries

I would like big blackberries

For our tea on Wednesday

Red currants, red currants

I can see big red currants

Red currants on Thursday

For our tea on Thursday

.

Black currants, black currants

I can see big black currants

Black currants on Friday.

For our tea on Friday

Pitted Dates. Photo by Angela Lansbury.  Copyright. 

Figs and dates, on the plates

On the plates, By the grapes

Red grapes from La Fromagerie in London

. Photo by Angela Lansbury.  Copyright. 

I think we shall have to wait

For our tea on Saturday.

Cream from top of Jersey whole milk. Sold by Tesco in London. Photo by Angela Lansbury.  Copyright. 

On our birthday we add cream

Thickest cream you've ever seen

That is such a lovely dream

On next birthday we'll have cream

Toys' food's ready every dawn

For yellow teddy bears and a blue unicorn

Well give food them which gives them joy 

All the wooden and soft toys

For toy kittens and a puppy

Serve whatever makes them happy

Healthy food which does them good

On plastic plates, fruit made from wood

Artificial fruit. Fridge magnets. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright. 

For my breakfast what do I see?

I see big red strwberries

Maybe we should save them for tea

Big and small red strwberries.

We went out to pick the fruit

Green and red apples on the tree

Green apples on tree in garden. Photo by Trevor Sharot.  Copyright. 

In supermarkets and small shops

Bananas and raspberries - not chocolate drops

Durian is served in season

Banned on buses for a reason

They smell bad to somebody

Never mind, there's more for me.

I see figs and I see dates

In the bowls and on the plates

We will have fruit salad soon

On the table, served with spoons.

On my birthday I will choose

Fruit that's red or pink or blue

On my birthday I can choose

To share it with my friends and you 

I imagine thick white cream

What a lovely coloured dream

I imagine thick white cream

What a lovely coloured dream.

I will share it all with you

Green and yellow, red and blue

I will share it all with you

It's a dream which could come true.

I thought I'd share my thoughts with you

It's a dream, let's make it true.

Coloured fruit, in red and blue

It's a dream, let's make it true.

-ends-

This can be sung as a round for children, at a birthday party, in a classroom.

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Weird Noise - Was It A Ghost? Comical poem 639 by Angela Lansbury

 

Toaster. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Who should we all blame

When we smell burned toast?

A human being

Not a made up ghost

And when something 

Falls off a wall

It's just gravity, 

Not ghosts at all

And when you hear

Some creaking, late

You know you forgot

To shut the gate

And that strange noise

A kitchen cough

That is your fridge

Turning on and off

And clonking noises

Don't do a runner

You boiler needs

To see a plumber

And when I hear

A tap, tap, tap

I know I have

A dripping tap

And a funny noise

From the radiator

I must get around

To fixing, bleed, it later

Strange buzzing

Up in that lampshade

I sprayed the wasp

It hasn't stayed

You feel a chill - like a ghost?

You must be having a laugh

It just open doors and windows

Which are making a draft

My house is always

Alive with sound

But a sensible scientist

Is checking around.

'I've fixed all the problems

So you shouldn't complain

Then what's wrong now?

'It's eerily quiet again.'

-ends-

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I was rather pleased with the twist ending.

Exercise - comical poem by comical poem 638 Angela Lansbury

 

Walking Frame.  Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright. 

I got up from my wheelchair

and used my walking frame

I nearly fell over.

Who can I blame?

Tell someone in a wheelchair

That they need to exercise

Expect to get a glare or two

From incredulous eyes

After two weeks in a wheelchair

I found I'd put on weight

I walked at night to the bathroom

Next day I got up late

I have to get back on my feet

For ten seconds or more

I promise I'll do more next week

I might walk as far as the door

I did exercise while in my bed

Rolled my shoulders, rocked my head

I lifted my feet in the sky

And waved both hands to say goodbye

The physio said

When you're sitting in your seat

I want you marching

Both your feet

Life is what it is

No point moaning

You'll be happier

Creating seratonin

I've followed their instructions

To the letter

Now I deserve

To get better.

But if I don't

What can I say?

Whether walking, sitting, standing

Lucky you. Have a nice day.

-ends-

Confession time. The first verse was added to my poem about exrcise and a wheelchair because I had a picture of a walking frame.

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Buy, sell, swap, recycle comical poem 637 by Angela Lansbury

 In large firm with many accounts

Some customers owe large amounts

Some people shrug about their debts

And hope the world will just forget

I always like to pay my way

Don't say I'll pay another day

I like to see numbers look neat

And that I stand on my own feet

So often when the urge has gone

It's time to pass old craftwork on

Give ski boots, lilos, high heeled shoes

Gain a wheelchair, what good news

But I have learned don't lend nor borrow

Owing money brings you sorrow

If you give someone what they lack

Earn kudos, don't expect it back 

In our street we have a whatsApp

People say what they'll give away

A useful way to clear your clutter

If you don't earn it doesn't matter

We clear out old baby clothes

And each year kids want different toys

Get rid of things which you can't sell

Musical toys which just make noise

Put surplus apples in a box

Make pairs of puppets from odd socks

Donate a bench to view the docks

On an old t-shirt paint a fox

So much to do now I'm retired

I wake each day with ideas fired

Recycle paper, in its place

An empty box makes a crayon case.

.

Emptly chocolate box from France made into a crayons case. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright. 

We give somebody what they lack

We don't earn, but we don't pay tax

Just drop it round, no need to pack

Friends give to us - and we give back.

-end-

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