Embarrassing Moments Misunderstanding Language comical poem 645 by Angela Lansbury

Singapore's a country I really like

But I must offer a word of warning

They tell you to 'off' your phone, light, Mike',

Meaning turn, not carry. Is light dawning?

They called me he, when I think I'm a she

I waited for somebody else to speak

But they were waiting for the speaker, me

They beckoned. If not, we'd have waited a week.

In Mandarin, he, she and it are the same

So it's safer to say sombody's name.

They asked for my team when they meant my theme

What are tea trees? They mean three teas.

And pilots on Singapore flights

Just before they turn off all the lights

And wish you all a pleasant night

The pilot will wish you a peasant fright.

In England on our tiny island

I met a man who came from Thailand

He said he worked for the loyal bank

It took me a while to spot Royal bank.

Over in France, such a shame

We were confused by a hotel name

Why was Hotel de Ville closed?

It means the town hall, as each French person knows.

In France I was asked if I wanted some tea

So naturally, proudly, I said, 'merci';

I watched the tea strangely go

In French Please means yes, but Thank you means no.

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Why Does The Garden Grow? Comical poem 581 by Angela Lansbury

 Tell us, why does the garden grow

I though I knew, but now I know

To make sure the retired don't shirk

Give us, retired, gardeners work

Some turn to crochet, knitting, beads

While others race to pull out weeks

We keenly watch for cuttings, seeds

Give sweet pea plants the drink each needs

Although we're told all bad things pass

We stick up signs, Keep off the grass

We build wind chimes to make kids laugh

Then sternly warn, stay on the path

When winter's gone, or summer's through

Find new essential things to do

Like cleaning moss from plants and stairs

And do repairs to musical chairs

A fallen fence, a crumbling wall

Busy God cannot do it all

He sends the rain but then will moan

'Just do the rest, folks - on your own!'

We check if posted vines survive

And if not thrive, just stay alive

To tell the truth, I don't tell lies

Most plants I see are a surprise

And though our old apple tree's rotten

We find forget-me-nots forgotten

See treats for eyes, my soul, your nose

Wild, keenly climbing, short-lived rose.

Grasshopper on orange rose, Hatch End, London, England. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

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