Tea For Three With Me: comical poem number 722 by Angela Lansbury

Breakfast

Traditional English breakfast

Porridge oats, sugar or honey

Then baked beans, egg and bacon grill

Hotels give this thrill, for money

For daily grub go to the pub

Avoiding big hotels' big bills

Choose sausages and black pudding

Fried potato, and tomato

Lunch

For lunch you could choose a Scotch egg

Sardines on toast, a healthy fish

Fish and chips is what we like most

Sundays Yorkshire pud with beef roast

If you're adding roast potatoes

Careful. You'd better keep quiet

Please don't spoil my good gourmet day

By reminding me to diet

For weekday lunch we have salad

And smoked salmon in a bagel

Supermarket sushi, garlic

We buy half price when we're able

Tea

Each afternoon we stop at four

Or four thirty, or even five

By which time we're yawning and tired

Need food and drink to stay alive

Tea time in London"s any time

No longer always Earl Grey tea

We drink hot coffee, apple juice

Lemon, ginget or mint for me

 If you've never had hot crumpets

Your gourmet life has not begun

If you"re offered two with butter

Please don't stick to half or just one

Scones feature in Cornish cream tea

Spread thick cream, then strawberry jam

Some say you should put jam on first

Avoid arguing, if you can

We sometimes choose a restaurant

But most of our food's home made

We make brown bread with seeds and nuts

Seville oranges marmalade

We clear the table, wash the dishes

And load the dishwashing machine

It does a very good job

Of keeping our plates sparkling clean

Dinner

Then it's time to lay the table

And get ready for dinner

For me, it's brussels sprouts

Chicken and chips is a winner.

Plates of steak, add English mustard

Chocolate pudding, with custard

Christmas pudding, then easter eggs

Build balloon tums and tree trunk legs

Tea Tomorrow

I hope you'll come to tea with me

But I must tell you with sorrow

I ate the last baklava and chocolate

My fruit diet starts tomorrow.

-Ends-

Please follow me and see my blogs on travel, dress, comical poetry, wine and dine, dress, and share links to your favourite poems and posts.

Poem: Raisin Children

Raisin Children 

By Angela 

 Years ago the day started with bacon and egg 

If you wanted some more you did not need to beg 

A big breakfast's a dream, 

in our new healthy scheme 

Hotel buffets, tut-tut, cost a fat arm and leg 

 Thank you, darling, for starting our breakfast with fruit 

As a sat in my silk wrap and clean birthday suit 

For more, "seconds?" we plead, as we lick the last seed As pleased picking out nuts as pirates listing loot 

A big spoon makes your milky porridge go faster 

A small spoon makes your dwindling porridge go laster 

How much food do you need? 

No, it isn't just greed 

Food is fun - plus emotional sticking plaster. 

 copyright Angela Lansbury Jan 4th 2017 

Just in case anybody missed it, there's a pun on raising children and raisin children, children raised on raisins, the modern fad for fruit and nuts. 

Costing an arm and a leg, meaning a lot of money, is also taken literally to mean making you fat. 

I hope you enjoy the alliteration: big breakfast, seconds and seek, pleased picking and pirates, listing loot, small spoon, food and fun, seconds and seed. 

Also notice assonance and rhyme: silk and milk, egg and beg and leg, dream and scheme, buffet and tut tut, buffet and fat, sat and wrap, plead and seed, need and greed, faster and laster, and plaster.