What can a baby do for you? Comic poem 121

What can a baby do for you?

It cannot talk, that much is true

It can wriggle, it can scream

And smile at some deep, hidden dream

Every new parent wonders why

A baby's first word's just a cry

One day, I hope it's not too late

A baby will communicate

A robot will say if it's happy

Hot or cold, please change my nappy

I'm tired, I am about to die

I'm cross - but have no idea why

I want to sleep

Please go away

I'd like a hug

But not today

I know you

I've seen you before

I like to throw things

On the floor

I like this milk

Now give me more

I do not like this lullaby

I love Mum but do not know why

I like Mum and I like Dad

I like Babygrows and mittens

I like milk and I like kittens

All in all, life isn't bad

I like lying on the floor

When I can walk I'll do much more

What is a spoon for, and a fork?

I can't wait to walk and talk!

-ends-

Poem: Raisin Children

Raisin Children 

By Angela 

 Years ago the day started with bacon and egg 

If you wanted some more you did not need to beg 

A big breakfast's a dream, 

in our new healthy scheme 

Hotel buffets, tut-tut, cost a fat arm and leg 

 Thank you, darling, for starting our breakfast with fruit 

As a sat in my silk wrap and clean birthday suit 

For more, "seconds?" we plead, as we lick the last seed As pleased picking out nuts as pirates listing loot 

A big spoon makes your milky porridge go faster 

A small spoon makes your dwindling porridge go laster 

How much food do you need? 

No, it isn't just greed 

Food is fun - plus emotional sticking plaster. 

 copyright Angela Lansbury Jan 4th 2017 

Just in case anybody missed it, there's a pun on raising children and raisin children, children raised on raisins, the modern fad for fruit and nuts. 

Costing an arm and a leg, meaning a lot of money, is also taken literally to mean making you fat. 

I hope you enjoy the alliteration: big breakfast, seconds and seek, pleased picking and pirates, listing loot, small spoon, food and fun, seconds and seed. 

Also notice assonance and rhyme: silk and milk, egg and beg and leg, dream and scheme, buffet and tut tut, buffet and fat, sat and wrap, plead and seed, need and greed, faster and laster, and plaster.