The Photo album comical poem 753 by Angela Lansbury

 Do you see that young man looking at me

That knowing look, of impish glee

You wouldn't believe the prizes I won

Such fun, you won't believe what I'd done

But now my lover has gone away

Old and bald, wrinkled and grey

I like to imagine him waiting for me

Impatiently, in purgatory

Now the men of my grand old age

Think that they are always right

And everybody else is wrong

They go out looking for a fight

Time moves on and life goes on

Maybe it's for the best, we wouldn't get on

And yet that photo tells the story

Of the joys of youth and our moment of glory

He made night day and he made day night

He made white black and he made black white

He made right wrong and he made wrong right

He made light dark and he made dark light

Do you see that young man looking at me

That moment caught by photography

Preserved as a permanent memory

Of the joy I was and will always be.

-ends-

Your Music Or Mine? Comical poem number 752 by Angela Lansbury.

 Everyone good loves music

It can soothe you when you're sick

All kinds of music win applause

But I like mine - yet you like yours

I like trad jazz, but you like new

I don't know what I'm going to do

But if you have bought my ticket

I have to pretend I like it

Conductor's baton, banging drums

Announce something important comes

The orchestra starts tuning up

Like strong black coffee in white cups

We wait for music to begin

Co-ordinating violins

The smart black of the dinner suits

The gentle tooting of the flutes

The player paused at the piano

Is that someone I'd like to know?

Or someone I'd not like to know?

If they don't go, then I might go

He hears a swaying symphony

I hear modern cacophany ...

At last, the interval, the bar

Rewards patrons who've travelled far

Americans on a great vacation

Start animated conversation

From food and drinks we make a choice

That's the best use of my small voice

When all the bridges have been burned

What are the lessons I have learned?

That happiness is just the trick

Of pretending you like the music

The friend's voice which I love to hear

The loved ones who I hold so dear

Alive, and smiling with me here

That's the best music to my ear.

-ends-

Inspection of Collection, M & S Dress. Comical poem 751 by Angela Lansbury.

I've clothes in every shade and hue

Red, orange, pink, purple, green, blue

In every style and kind of dress

From, Primark, Temu, M & S

From Ann Balon and Indigo Moon

They fill suitcases and the store room

Hung on hangers, folded on shelves

In the bedroom, bathroom, toilet as well

I've souvenirs from every place

Where suits, caftans and hats are made

Skiwear, tee-shirts, fake fur and lace

Tartan, polka dots, wool, silk, suede

I've button boxes, cotton and ribbon

Sequins, beads and elastic thread

On the floor, also overhead

On the chairs, even on the bed

I slit seams, cut, use safety pins

Every new use is a new win

Bid on ebay, save a dollar

Old toddler's skirt? A new collar!

I alter clothes, dye, cover stains

Like recycling, I take great pains

I love to count, and keep in order

Yes, you've guessed it, I'm a hoarder.

-ends-

Please follow my blogs and share links to your favourite posts.

Limerick to Limerick. Comical poem 750 by Angela Lansbury. Learning The Irish Language.

 

Travel to Limerick

Limerick is supposedly where the limerick was invented.

Limerick for Limerick by Angela Lansbury

The limerick came from limerick

Easy to write and read, it's quick

Where it started we can't be sure

Let's write, sing and drink some some

You'll laugh, and hic and never be sick

Of the laughs which come from Limerick.

You can learn or refresh Irish Gaelic on Duolingo and other online language courses. The Duolingo starter lesson, which is free, teaches you to say, hear and recognise, and read the words, tea, coffee, sugar, and, please.

Language

Bilingual Irish and English sign in Wikipedia article on language. Photo by Darren J Prior

To get you started, here are some easy words which are the same or almost the same:

Irish - English

banana - banana

bus - bus

cat - cat

camp - camp

fork - fork

lion - lion

mug - mug

English - Irish

banana - banana

bus - bus

camp - camp

cat - cat

fork - forc

lion - lion

mug - mug

Useful websites on Irish Language

duolingo.com

https://en.wikivoyage.org/wiki/Irish_phrasebook

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irish_language

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Lingui-Sticks-Language-Learning-Stickers-Educational/

translate google English-Irish Irish-English

Pronunciation in 3 Dialects, from Munster in the South to Ulster in the North

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X75ZGEytOJs

www.focloir.ie free dictionary English-Irish and Irish-English with pronunciation you can listen to

-ends-

Please follow my blogs on travel, dress and comical poetry, and share links to your favourite posts.

St Patrick's Day. Comical poem 749 by Angela Lansbury.

 

Expect celebrations near and far. In pubs such as Wetherspoons, green hats to be bought or given to patrons.

Customers wear green clothes and items with Irish words and jokes.

Trafalgar Square in the centre of London has music, dancing, and food to buy.

You can buy Irish items from supermarkets and party shops.

St Patrick's Day hats on Amazon.

Expect celebrations in pubs and major cities in the UK, USA, Australia and Singapore. Check your local newspapers, TV stations, the internet and YouTube and Wikipedia. In previous years cities in the USA have sold green drinks and Chicago even turned the river green. Expect worldwide jollity, and people singing in public and on public transport in London in the evening.

If you are entertaining, you can download suitable green borders and symbols for invitations and menus.

You can look for the tunes and words of popular Irish songs to play as background music at the start o meetings and meals and celebrations.

Celebrate St Patrick's Day 

by Angela Lansbury

St Patrick's Day the Colour green

Is on the pubs in every scene

The brightest green you've every seen

In drinks, on chairs, balloons and hair

The colours green, orange and white

Are sure to bring all great delight

Drinking by day, singing by night

And smiling all night til daylight

In some cities you see parades

New Yorker smile and wave all day

Singapore - hats given away

At pubs which wanted all to stay

Chicago turns its river green

And green drinks make the weirdest scheme

Different things in different places

Green on spectacles and faces

Ireland has a lucky shamrock day

Montserrat has a holiday

Each country celebrates its way

With bagpipes, harps, or dance all day

I see that opportunity knocks

Although I do not dye my locks

That would give all my friends a shock

I'll wear green ties, or frocks and socks

Afterward I'll store them away

And send emails in which I say

My box of Irish goods will stay

Locked in box rooms til Patrick's Day.

Green four leaf clover sandals. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright. 

Travel

For travellers, in addition to celebrations on the day, visits of interest include 

1 churches associated with St Patrick, and 

2 Guinness tours in Dublin, Eire, and London, England. 

You can learn or refresh Irish Gaelic on Duolingo and other online language courses. The Duolingo starter lesson, which is free, teaches you to say, hear and recognise, and read the words, tea, coffee, sugar, and, please.

Language

Bilingual Irish and English sign in Wikipedia article on language. Photo by Darren J Prior

Useful websites on St Patrick's Day

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It%27s_a_Great_Day_for_the_Irish

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Patrick%27s_Day

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irish_cream

https://opengatelondon.guinness.com/en/tours

Irish Language

duolingo.com

https://en.wikivoyage.org/wiki/Irish_phrasebook

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irish_language

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Lingui-Sticks-Language-Learning-Stickers-Educational/

-ends-

Please follow my blogs on travel, dress and comical poetry, and share links to your favourite posts.

What Do Words Mean? Comical poem 748 by Angela Lansbury.

 

What do daily words really mean?

Wales has one word for blue and green

You could translate both as turquoise

Translators spread visual joys

Eskimos have more words for snow

Renamed Inuit, there you go 

Dialects have, as they all know 

Ten to a hundred kinds of snow

Slush, powder, falling, icicles

Bikes, motorbikes, trikes, tricycles

Cakes, tarts, desserts, sweets, puddings, pies

Lies, half truths, polite words, white lies

Adjectives in front, French behind

Words help the deaf, songs hide the blind

Hard snow, soft sand, all kinds of touch

I didn't know I knew so much.

Alliteration, assonance, rhyme

Crosswords and Scrabble, great pastimes

Which fill with skill and give us pride

Sweep cobweb stress, words glow inside.

-ends-

Noise and Music. Comical poem 747 by Angela Lansbury.

Photo by Angela Lansbury.

 When you are young you dance and are bold

I heard you lose your hearing when you're old

But that doesn't cause me fear and spoil my joys

It makes appreciate every little noise

I heart the audience happily clap

The ticking clock, the dripping tap

The high voice child, the deep voice man

The train, bus, plane, car, van, coach, tram

The old may be stooped, frail and lame

But brighten when you call their name

Choose to be happy, it's a choice

The greatest joy - hear a friend's voice.

-ends-

Birthday Again. Comical poem 746 by Angela Lansbury.

 

May you live to be a hundred

May you live to see a hundred

People gather smiling at you

They can't go wrong singing a song

How old are you?

They haven't a clue

You look so young

You're so much fun

Fifty, sixty, seven, eighty

Each decade sound much more weighty

Years pass fast when you're having fun

I want to repeat twenty-one

As the candles burn

it's your turn

to blow them out

and give a shout

Thank you for your presence

Balloons and cards

Finding something nice to tell us

Really isn't very hard

What's the secret of living long?

Is it hiding or striding strong?

Eat good food or like a small drink

Exercise, or soothe what you think?

Think of flowers and butterflies

Cakes, balloons, candles in your eyes

Think of friends, laughter and Champagne

Have a great year, meet here again.

-ends-

Sun and moon like me and you. Comical poem 745 by Angela Lansbury.

 Some days we are like the great sun

Up early, creative, life's fun

Some days like the moon, routine groove

Yet love to hate to love we move

Like the sun, one arrives and drives

Makes sure the plants stay alive

The other like the moon reflects

And does what the other directs.

The sun goes down, moon turns around

 Neither makes any useful sound

Sun sets, disappears, like a busy wife

Back, large and bright, brings noisy life

Moonlight dark as a tree hollow

The sun goes hiding, dark at night

Yet morning's bright light tomorrow

Sunny photos, noon time shadow

No, no, no, don't say no, nor never

Like the sun and moon we'll stay together

We'll create our own good weather

Living, leaving joy forever.

-ends-

My Tooth's Life Expectancy. Comical poem 744 by Angela Lansbury

 

My dear friends, I must tell the truth

My problem is a broken tooth

A hole won't bite, it doesn't chew

It does no good for me, nor you

Lost molar teeth will not be missed

They do not stop you being kissed

They're not on anyone's wish list

But they bring business to dentists

The dentist smiles 'though I look glum

A root canal costs a large sum

You pay more if it's quickly done

You're sedated, so you can't run

 

Holes do not help you smile, you pout

Things could get worse, I have no doubt

Why does a loose tooth hang about?

I hope that it will not fall out!

I've searched around the internet

And haven't found the answer yet

Some of the options I have found

Best, composite filling; worst, a crown

Stop grinding teeth, what'll be will be

No alcohol, coffee, nor tea

Salt water gargle, soft as silk

And store the broken bit in milk

What more can I do, beside

Picking toothpaste with fluoride?

It's bad news my bones are crumbling

Life expectancy is tumbling

I asked a clairvoyant nearby

'How long before teeth and I die?

I'm eighty.' 'Twenty' was her reply.

'Good news,' I gasped. 'That's plenty!'

-ends-

Please share links to your favourite poems.

I asked a clairvoyant nearby

How many years

Cutlery And Kitchen Troubles. Comical poem 743 by Angela Lansbury.

Mismatched cutlery. Photo by Angela Lsnsbury. Copyright.

 If only knives and forks could talk

And say I'm here each time they walk

I carefully buy complete sets

But where I've put them I forget

The saucepans pile up on the floor

Until we can't reach cupboard doors

We both agree we don't need more

He loses lids, and then buys more!

And then we lose the toaster tongs

The bread is stuck, the meal's gone wrong

The toast is cold, I'm getting old

I wish food would do what it's told

We finish clearing, washing up

Too late I find my favourite cup

Why home cook? There's so much to do!

It tastes good, and makes us feel new.

-ends-

Please share links to your favourite poems.

The Best Bed. Comical poem number 742 by Angela Lansbury.

 

I sink into my lovely bed

Soft pillows welcome tired head

The firm mattress gives me support

Promotes constructive thought, I hope

Here I can stretch, wiggle my toes

Rotate my head, and rub my nose

My desk and chair it must be said

Great by day, can't compete with bed

One day you're born, sick, well, or dead

Meanwhile, enjoy breakfast in bed

A new mattress, but keep the frame

So your old bed fakes looks the same

Sort out ideas, yawn, plan schemes

With confidence realise dreams

Turn electric blankets off, on

Night clothes worn until seams torn 

Are sheets designed to cause a fight?

Pulled to the left and then the right

Although tucked in with all your might

Refuse to stay fixed all the night

Electric levers raise the foot

I lift my legs and exercise

One day we'll do it with AI

By voice, I hope no seeing eye 

The bedroom door can open wide

Or hide your precious things inside

Shut window, curtains, dress on door

Bookshelf, lampshade, shoes, carpet floor

The duvet warm where you can hide

The naughty thoughts you keep inside

A refuge for coughs, from the cold

Haven for couples, young and old

A place to lay small girls or boys

Hug mum then snuggle with soft toys

Enjoy deep sleep, then leap refreshed

Leave bed, see day, dress, be your best.

-ends-

Please share links to your favourite poems.