Thursday, March 5, 2026

My Tooth's Life Expectancy. Comical poem 744 by Angela Lansbury

 My dear friends, I must tell the truth

My problem is a broken tooth

A hole won't bite, it doesn't chew

It does no good for me, nor you


Lost molar teeth will not be missed

They do not stop you being kissed

They're not on anyone's wish list

But they bring business to dentists


The dentist smiles 'though I look glum

A root canal costs a large sum

You pay more if it's quickly done

You're sedated, so you can't run

 

Holes do not help you smile, you pout

Things could get worse, I have no doubt

Why does a loose tooth hang about?

I hope that it will not fall out!


I've searched around the internet

And haven't found the answer yet

Some of the options I have found

Best, composite filling; worst, a crown


Stop grinding teeth, what'll be will be

No alcohol, coffee, nor tea

Salt water gargle, soft as silk

And store the broken bit in milk


What more can I do, beside

Picking toothpaste with fluoride?

It's bad news my bones are crumbling

Life expectancy is tumbling


I asked a clairvoyant nearby

'How long before teeth and I die?

I'm eighty.' 'Twenty' was her reply.

'Good news,' I gasped. 'That's plenty!'

-ends-

Please share links to your favourite poems.


I asked a clairvoyant nearby

How many years

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