Inspection of Collection, M & S Dress. Comical poem 751 by Angela Lansbury.

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Indigo Moon jacket label above apron on desk chair back. Photo by Angela Lansbury.

I've clothes in every shade and hue

Red, orange, pink, purple, green, blue

In every style and kind of dress

From, Primark, Temu, M & S

From Ann Balon and Indigo Moon

They fill suitcases and the store room

Hung on hangers, folded on shelves

In the bedroom, bathroom, toilet as well

I've souvenirs from every place

Where suits, caftans and hats are made

Skiwear, tee-shirts, fake fur and lace

Tartan, polka dots, wool, silk, suede

I've button boxes, cotton and ribbon

Sequins, beads and elastic thread

On the floor, also overhead

On the chairs, even on the bed

I slit seams, cut, use safety pins

Every new use is a new win

Bid on ebay, save a dollar

Old toddler's skirt? A new collar!

I alter clothes, dye, cover stains

Like recycling, I take great pains

I love to count, and keep in order

Yes, you've guessed it, I'm a hoarder.

-ends-

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I Want To Live One Hundred Years comical poem 706 by Angela Lansbury

I want to live one hundred years

If doctors can't give three or two

I'd like to spend one more decade

With, or without, the help of you

I'd like to live one hundred years

Or even only ninety-nine

Like a leasehold that's getting old

Or long-term parking with no fine

I regret spending so much time

Trying to not to get frail nor ill

With vaccines, flu jabs and masks

Six different types of daily pill

If I live to one hundred years

Journals will ask how I survived

With broken bones, and broken teeth

They'll be surprised I'm still alive

I'm hoping to regrow my teeth

Chew well, look good - ribbon, bow, tie

 Smooth skin on top, cure all beneath

A smart hair cut before I dye.

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Humorous (not poetry).

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Homophones comical poem 678 by Angela Lansbury

 

I phoned home with my homophones

Words which homo sapiens says the same

But spells differently, spellers' hell

But great for teachers or you're into word games

Let us start with simple letter a

They English grey, USA gray

We pray we won't be anything's prey

But just be gay with friends who are gay

Hamlet said to be or not to be

He was not thinking of a bee

When we went out to have a wee wee

Some say pee, which sounds like pea

You need to see letter c at sea

C turns to s when you add e

I must confess I'm in distress

The English practise practice, a mess in the mess

The letter d appears in dye

You dye cloth black when someone dies

We all say aye when we agree

And it looks good in our eyes

F and ph both sound the same

Steve, Stefan or Stephen is his name

After the feast of Stephen

Out with Eve on Xmas Eve, even-ing

My friend Jorge like gorgeous George 

They gorge food on the gorge

The hair or the heir is in the air

Ere we're here on the weir

Flag of Wales

I've never seen hump-backed whales in Wales

We haven't take pails beyond the Pale

We left our hanger in the aircraft hangar

And drove to Bangor in a small old banger.

.

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There's the flee that flew

When I had the flu

The burnt hankies flew up the flue

There are two of them too