You Are Not Alone: comical poem number 720 by Angela Lansbury

Mobile phone. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

You are never alone if you have a phone

The family know you're out or at home

Laughing or griping, whatsapp sees typing

You're in the soup if you share with a group

When it's dark and cold and you stay in bed

Google can guess what is inside your head

You may feel fraught over what you have bought

More ads pop up, your food, drink and pets caught

If this surveillance drives you round the bend

Sometimes good surprises can make amends

AI can tell us how this poem ends

While we block enemies and follow friends.

-ends-

Anti-fly comic poem 415 by Angela Lansbury

 What am I angrily against?

I am anti all biting flies

I sat saerching the 'net for help

Wearing double heavy disguise

I didn't find any answers

But left with bites on my hands 

And more on both sides of my legs 

The one thing left, my useless eyes.

Whilst I'm a peace-livng person

Who wild-life lovers rely on

I'm still not terribly keen on

A flea, crocodile or lion

You may still be wondering why

I wnn't say I won't hurt a fly

If useful fly spray came my way

I'd certainly like to try one

Flay and Wasp Killer spray. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

I'm not into eating insects

Wish they felt the same about me

I don't want a fly in my soup

And I don't want to be its tea

Whatever bit me in the night

You must admit, with sympathy

In this war I am in the right

The fly, or flea, started this fight

So far this game's one up to them

I beg them, don't do it again

I've zinc ointment, but start to scratch

I must admit I've met my match

I itch. I'm cross.  if I catch one

I swear it's biting days are done

With a spray, or iron, be gone

There's no more fun until - I've won.

-ends

Soup Trick Limerick

There was a girl from Guadalupe
Who made the most delicious soup
She fed it to the local troops
So they were always cock-a-hoop
When they saw the girl from Guadalupe.

The proper way to write a hit limerick

Is to make the first line like the last

If you want to be read, repeated and heard

You need to observe how to order the words

The proper way to write a hit limerick.

You are never too tired, or busy, or sick
To spend a second on a limerick

It can hit heavy, wrong, long, like a dropped brick

Yet impress 'cause it's witty, often done slickly

Like life, love, and soup, short, over too quickly.

-ends-
Inspired by the word Guadalupe, a city in Mexico.
Angela Lansbury, copyright Wed Aug 28 2019.

Revised with two extra verses 27 November 2021

The word trick in the title is ambiguous. A trick is both a deceit and a clever, quick, successful action.