Bird Songs, Cats And Dreams comical poem 593 by Angela Lasnbury

Why do I hear a bird chirping

When outtside, and in, it's still dark

That bird transforms our small garden

Into a great safari park

I ought to buy binoculars

And cameras with night vision

Until it's caught on camera

Big cat reports cause derision

I dream I'll run a business

Printing tickets, selling honey

Drive visitors on a lawnmower

Making a lots of easy money

At four a.m. I hear bird song

I relax, happiness abounds

I ought to sleep, sleep rights all wrongs

I promise shortly I'll lie down

My happiness would be complete

If I could eat and not grow fat

Hear bird song all day, all around

And never see black lurking cats

But joyful bird song's so cheerful

It proudly spreads its joy around

I wish earlier I'd not seen

A feather lying on the ground

Feather in garden. Photo by Angela Lansbury.  Copyright. 

Why do we love the fox and cat?

 Here's a fact you can rely on

Nervous, kind folk will fear for deer

Whilst stoics shrug, cheer the lion.

'Don't interfere, let nature be,'

My ruthless husband said to me

It's easier to nod, agree

And wear leather, feathers, drink milk

I wonder what that bird is singing?

Mourning morning rain, fearing black cats

'Let most live, love, fly away

When one's lost, don't think, speak of that!'

Each day some die, others are born

My job's to bring the world great joy

Enjoy each minute that you have

Each precious bird, cat, girl and boy

So, when you can, enjoy your rest

With confidence face every test

Each day given shares some heaven

In each cloud, sun, day, see the best

Enjoy the rain, enjoy the sun

Think of the smile, think of the fun

Then when your happy day is done

Be glad of all the good you've won.

-ends-.

Please share links to your favourite poems.

Angela Lansbury's books of poems, collections of quotations and other books, are on Lulu.com, Amazon.com and amazon.co.uk

Anti-fly comic poem 415 by Angela Lansbury

 What am I angrily against?

I am anti all biting flies

I sat saerching the 'net for help

Wearing double heavy disguise

I didn't find any answers

But left with bites on my hands 

And more on both sides of my legs 

The one thing left, my useless eyes.

Whilst I'm a peace-livng person

Who wild-life lovers rely on

I'm still not terribly keen on

A flea, crocodile or lion

You may still be wondering why

I wnn't say I won't hurt a fly

If useful fly spray came my way

I'd certainly like to try one

Flay and Wasp Killer spray. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

I'm not into eating insects

Wish they felt the same about me

I don't want a fly in my soup

And I don't want to be its tea

Whatever bit me in the night

You must admit, with sympathy

In this war I am in the right

The fly, or flea, started this fight

So far this game's one up to them

I beg them, don't do it again

I've zinc ointment, but start to scratch

I must admit I've met my match

I itch. I'm cross.  if I catch one

I swear it's biting days are done

With a spray, or iron, be gone

There's no more fun until - I've won.

-ends

Humorous Poets, Songwriters and Singers (alphabetical list) + Ode to Invisible Poems (Comic Poem no 128)

A song is a poem set to music for a voice using tones and rhythm as well as pauses.

Ayres, Pam

'I'd have taken more care of me teeth'

Lansbury, Angela

Ode To Invisible Poems

Guess - what would your writer really like to be? 11

Known for last words, a famous comic poet 11

Alas, jokes aren't allowed engraved on gravestones 11

So nobody sad could read it nor know it 11

So I'll hurry to write couplets on cloud nine 11

And hope a hurricane will swiftly blow it 11

So it travels like ballons around the world 11

When workshy, look from your window and know it 11

I'd like to write it quickly, flowing and quick 11

So the dumbest can read it, when sick, or thick 11

Ideas to copy, images to pick 11

Let's kick phrases about, like a Lego brick 11

When you're blue, in the pink, look up to white clouds 11

Be inspired when you're thinking of busy me 11

The dreamer who wrote invisible poems 11

Sardonic, comic, bucolic poetry.11

(I wrote this on Wednesday 13th April, 2022.)

Carrol, Lewis

'Say what you mean and mean what you say.'

Holloway, Stanley, reciting Albert and the Lion

'What do you usually pay?'

Lear, Edward

• There was an Old Man with a beard,
  Who said, "It is just as I feared!—
  Two Owls and a Hen,
  Four Larks and a Wren,
  Have all built their nests in my beard!"
  • Book of Nonsense, Limerick 1 (1846).

Lehrer, Tom

'The Catholics hate the Protestants, and Protestants hate the catholics, and everybody hates the Jews'.

McGonagal, William 

The Tay Bridge disaster

Milligan, Spike 

Gravestone message: I told them I was ill. 

Responding to WW2 question from Harry Secombe, 'Have you seen a cannon?': 

Spike: 'What colour?'

Nash, Ogden

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.

Shel Silverstein 

(Wrote the song A Boy Named Sue)

Sherman, Allan 

(Hello, mother, hello father, here I am at Camp Granada)

Useful Websites

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Humorous_poets 

http://www.shelsilversteinpoems.net/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriott_Edgar

Stanley Holloway reciting Albert and the Lion

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaw-savyK0s

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Tom_Lehrer

https://interestingliterature.com/2017/05/10-of-the-best-poems-about-insects/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ogden_Nash

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Humorous_poets