The Cup On the Saucer Went Round And Round THE FISH ON THE DISH. Comical dinner Table poem number 771 by Angela Lansbury

 

Round Nespresso saucer with square centre. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

I was inspired to write a parody of The wheels on the bus. But instead of simple repetition, for pre-schoolers, the poem took another direction. 

It became more like an ironic ballad. Such as, A hole in my bucket, Dear Liza. 

Another influence, is the exaggerated cautionary tale. For want of a nail the battle was lost.  Humorous examples are The Lion And Albert, and Matilda told such dreadful lies. 

My poem tells a tale of endless dining disasters, and constant disagreements. And how we tried to cope and cover up. 

I started with the title The Cup On the Saucer Went Around and \around, but changed the words 

THE FISH ON THE DISH

On the day we dined up in town

We arrived soon, late afternoon,

First had water, black or green tea

Hubby, rich son, wife, Teeny-tot, poor me

The balcony table was round

It was the largest one we found

But cutlery fell on the ground

With a dreadful, clattering sound

The cup's saucer was square on round 

The cup on the saucer went up and down

Up to my mouth, I made slurping sound

My husband's hand waved, 'Tone it down!'

's

My coffee was strong, it sat too long

My cream was white the sugar brown 

I twirled the spoon in my cup round

It made a dreadful squeaky sound

The water jug was passed around 

It got lost and was never found

Somebody must have put it down

On another table or on the ground.

The sugar lump bowl sent around 

I sighed, 'I've put on half a pound!'

I took two lumps, put a third down

Dad shook his head, tutted and frowned.

The mixed fish cake dish went around 

'Is this cod?' 'Salmon.' 'Tuna.'  'Trout?

'It's monster fish - it's been renamed

All doled from the same tin no doubt!'

To go with fish, the chips went round 

The tomato ketchup bottle went round

Dad shook it up, and down his shirt

He said short words, 'Fish!' I looked hurt

The plate of pizza passed around

So everybody took one slice

The pineapple pizza looked so nice

That I took two, nobody knew

The birthday cake had candle flames

The chef had mis-spelled both our names

I said, 'Never mind, Grandpa's blind, pass the cake around!'

The sponge, jam, cream all soon went down

(

The waiter said, 'Happy Birthday' to me

I said, 'It's our anniversary

For last week's birthday, an anniversary cake

'Sorry, Ma-am. A mistake.'  'Three mistakes!'

The box of chocolates passed around

But 'baby' knocked them on the ground

You can't eat chocolates when they fall.

(At home I washed and ate them all!)

I ordered coffee but got tea

I complained, 'both taste the same to me

Both taste like coffee-tea, the same

Where's the manager?' 'Gone home. Not to blame'

I asked, 'Why is this bill so large?'

They said, 'It's our high service charge,'

Son smiled, 'That's fine, I understand -

There's always something underhand.'

-ends-

True story: Our Happy Birthday cake was given to a couple celebrating their wedding anniversary at the Alpine Restaurant, (in Bushey, London) - which later closed down.

Coffee-tea was a story told about some airlines. I thought it was a joke. But somebody who worked in the industry said it was true, to save time. 

 (More verses later on salt, pepper, bread, olives, ice cream, coffee, juice, milk, sweets)

Make up tea or dinner related words.

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Much too long was a parody of all day long.