Do you sincerely look your age
When you're out having too much fun?
When you're so drunk you tell your age
Kind strangers lie - 'You look so young!
'Your birth certificate told lies!'
You know you're old when your dog dies
When grandpa dies and no-one cries
Great grandchild shrugs, the widow sighs
Babies are born wrong years and days
Babes should smile, sleep all the time
They don't behave in baby ways
Ungrateful, cry all night, wake, whine
Some of them look like old bald men
When you undress them, fountains go
Some babies small like opium dens
How would I know.! Just guessed - don't know
Then when teens grow and want a drink
They lie about their real birth age
They do not look the age you think
Drive, accidents, get in road rage
Then when they reach the age of thirty
People say they still look twenty
When they reach the age of forty
People say they look like thirty
When they reach the age of fifty
Nifty people say, you look forty
When they reach the age of sixty
People say you look like fifty
When you reach your seventies
People say you look like sixty
If a few do not believe it
They never say it's like it is
Then when you reach seventy nine
You're still having a great time
But when you reach the age of eighty
Your new stage is 'past my bed time'
Sadly the mirrors do not lie
And you do not fit in your clothes
Too fat to walk, belly balloon
Or skeleton thin, gone 'too soon' friends die
Your hair falls out, your legs give out
You need to wear reading glasses
You grow deaf, people say, 'Don't shout'
Younger folk stop making passes
And ageless singers who took drugs
Have faces like maps, full of wrinkles
Now look like bugs living in fugs
Can't keep it up, keep needing tinkles
Fond grandchildren will run away
When they need you on reaching teens
It's time they heard what you should say
But you daren't tell them what you mean.
-ends-
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