Friday, April 10, 2026

Preventing And Moulding Mold. Comical poem 764 by Angela Lansbury

THEN

A single widow in the Fifties

A refugee, from Germany

Europeans daily open their windows

She opened widows for fresh air


Had tea outside in the open air

Left beds and chairs with space below

Advantages we did not know

Left a mould-free flat to her heirs


NEXT

We bought a dehumidifier

Put in storage, listed in stock

Plugged it in to check it's working

Soon filled with water! What a shock.


NOW

Well after the Millennium

The occupants had changed again

Two bedrooms, a family of five

Suffered mould, that was a surprise


The law has changed yet again

A child's death govenments mention

The landlord must: fix problems fast

Advise tenants on prevention


CAUSE - OBSERVATION - EVIDENCE

The cause of mould is no mystery

Water, in the buildings' history

Black ceilings, gutter leaks overhead

Skirting boards - rising damp - flower beds


Builders long gone have done their best

Walk round, observe, an easy test

Blocked drains and flooding bring more pain

Report quickly and do your best


You breathe out water when you breathe

Rain water pours down ivy leaves

You exercise, cough, blow your nose

Wash up the dishes, bedding, clothes


Every adult, child and cat

The umbrella, raincoat, rain hat

Around the bath, under the bathmat

Around the sink, the dripping tap


You're spreading water everywhere

Every time you wash your hair

Every time you flush the toilet

Under the rim, how often d'you clean it?


You shut the windows when it's cold

Windows steam up, water makes mould

The mould will give you colds and coughs

Asthma, worse, carries small kids off


OUTSIDE

A damp course, horizontal line

Walk outside, foot high, you'll see it

Unless the plants touch bricks above

Gardeners should cut, agree it


What is the cause, you must decide

Is it from outside, or inside?

Warn landlords, don't delay 

If left too late, more cost to pay


INSIDE - CURES

Proverbs say, stitch in time saves nine 

Is all that mould their fault - or mine!

Even though nobody's looking

Put lids on saucepans when you're cooking


Duvets and cushions away from walls

Clothes in cupboards in a basket

Buy a wall moisiture detector

Is it too much to ask it



I known skiers keep warm in snow

So warm clothes are the way to go

Save money to dispel the gloom

Heat up the person, not the room


Dress for the outside, take a walk

Even the old won't feel the cold

But what if you lot only slouch?

Electric blankets for the couch


INDOORS CAUSES

You breathe out water through the night

Open the windows in daylight

And keep them open half an hour

Before, during, after a shower


Either banish water, or make spills vanish

Those wet clothes on the radiator!

Kettles, covered coffee cups, big dinners

A warning sign, misted windows and mirrors


From hot countries, other nations

Aren't prepared for so much rain

Causing so much condensation

Global warming, yet more rain


Double glazing, central heating,

Extended families, big meetings

Instead of people living alone

MOH, and working from home


INDOORS CURES

We can't fix the sloping grounds

Rebuilding walls costs thousands of pounds

But now we're wiser, now we know

The simple answer, open the window.

 

-ends-

Easy rhymes, observation, observe.

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