Survival. Comical poem 877 by Angela Lansbury

 At eighty or ninety I still have my old fears

But my fears have helped me to survive all these years

I avoid all dangers, and people who bring tears

I'll tell you my secrets to help you live, my dears

When I was young and innocent  and dating men

If things didn't work out I could just try again

So I avoided rides in attractive, fast cars

And pranksters who told stories of their life on Mars

I have a worst scenario stored in my head

I don't want to die, but I want to die in bed

I can't say when I'll die, but I can tell you now

The ways that I won't die, because of my know-how

I'm not going to die surfing the high waves

I travel  round the world  but I'm not very brave

I'm not going to die bungy jumping off a sheer cliff

I've tried lots of sports, but I'll give that one a miss

 At eighty or ninety I still have my old fears

But my fears have helped me to survive all these years

I avoid all dangers, and people who bring tears

I've told you my secrets to help you live, my dears.

-ends-

Note on spelling

Bungee jump is the more common spelling globally, particularly in American English. Bungy jump is a very common spelling variant, especially in British, Australian, and New Zealand English.

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 Poetry Pets & Pests   A-Z  

Gives each animal’s characteristics, such as diet. 

 

Poetry Workshop   Workbook Write New Poems!  

Lulu ID 2228624 

ISBN 978-1-291-49752-6 

Seriously Funny Poetry 

 

We Saw A Dinosaur  

For children. Large size illustrated.

 

Writing Poetry For Fun 

 

Other books on embarrassing moments, etiquette, quotations.

Are You Well? comical poem number 718 by Angela Lansbury

Seven day pill box. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

'Dear, are you well?' It's hard to tell

Because I'm now old as the hills.

I must be ill. I take six pills.

I'm glad that I don't foot the bill

These pills are designed to protect

They do the job, yet one suspects -

More rashes, lumps and swollen necks

Alas, pills all have side effects

Each day pills taken heads the page

Each decade I reach a new stage

Chair yoga now is all the rage

I'm well, for someone of my age

When young, I would read long novels

Learning from others' active lives 

Now instead I read long leaflets

Which help me, I hope, to survive

I read and write a lot of wills

I read and pay a lot of bills

I climb chairs, not stairs and hills

Still read a lot - about my pills.

For my age I'm very healthy

From hypochondria not free

Teens take vitamins A to E

They multi-worry, just like me.

-ends-

Depicting others' lively lives 

was changed to learning from others' active lives.

Where is the humour here? I have tried to analyse the implications. For example, a lot of wills, could be others dying all around me, or indecisiveness meaning I keep re writing my will, which also implies I don't think I am well but I or others think I am dying and should make or revise a will.

It's a light hearted look at taking pills. 

The young also take a lot more pills than I did when I was younger.

We now take pills for everything, to stay healthy as well as vitamin pills.

I brought in an extra verse at the end about teens, and vitamin pills, to expand poem's audience.

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Drinks Good And Bad comical poem 539 by Angela Lansbury

 

Author Angela Lansbury with a glass of blush wine. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright. 

Drink's not neutral, a loaded word

Sounds very bad or really good

'You don't drink enough water, dear'

Or 'more alcohol than you should'

A vital drink is refreshing

Eases sports injuries and pains

Too much, even water, is bad

A little seems good and gives gains

What helps a hedgehog to survive?

Milk helps newborn babes stay alive

Champagne for new year, wedding toasts

On hot days water helps revive

Signs say bring water on the train

Carry a drink to run or walk

I don't think I need to explain

A drink, like tea, is shared with talk

I don't write this to earn a fee

Just to sip and smile, feel jolly

Merely to amuse you and me

While we drink our daily coffee.

-ends-

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