Who Needs Another Name? comic poem 394 by Angela Lansbury

An Indian said, 'I have one name

And all my tribe are just the same

Why do I need a second name?'

Aghast, I hurried to explain

I've researched and it seems to me

One name reflects your pedigree

The other your personality

Or what your family want it to be.

Wiki picture of twins

I think a dog needs just one name

But if you add the family name

On it's dog collar, or a picture frame

Is lost and found just the same?

I really don't know how to begin

How would you name, if you had twins?

Like the Chinese, call them one and two

Number one son? Yes that would do.

We like to add a family name

When a child is lost at the airport

We can call the name of the mother

That is just my first, and second thought

Historically they passed a law

To change from one name as before

So they could tax, count folks, find more

No second, same name, on the door

A million Mohammeds, a million Patels

Would cause lots of confusion

And lots of Mister Wongs in Hong Kong

Checking passports, no conclusion

In the modern world you see

You need two names, don't you agree

Don't end up all confused, like me

But have your own identity

But you will have a better life

If husband shares a name with wife

A proud family, share a name

Children and parents, just the same

Then strangers say, I knew your mother

I know your father

I've met you brother

Was she your sister? How we've missed her!

And if you do not like your name

Or want to escape your reputation

You have a second name to use

Did you like my explanation?

Did I fulfil your expectation?

A second name reveals your nation

You can copy the name of a film star

Add another name, you'll go far.

-ends-

Copyright Angela Lansbury 27 March Wed 2024

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A Writer's Big Decision comic poem number 338 by Angela Lansbury

 

A writer's one big decision

Is producing fact or fiction

Careful not to upset factions

Of well organized religion

when can you reveal a secret

When they'd said promise you'll keep it

Years later, when they're dead and gone

Surely you can speak up, move on?

Until you unexpected find

That distant folk are not so blind

For unaccountably they mind

Protecting what\s been left behind

They think of their reputation

Of their family and nation

Is it damaged beyond repair

We share our ancestors as heirs

So in the writer's anxious eyes

Is built the heaviest disguise

For no matter how hard one tries

The world fights over all your lies

And when you smiling read aloud

To entertain a happy crowd

Prepare, when cornered, what to do

When one demands, was that girl you?

Be honest, is that story true?

You can think and blink, um and ah

But saying no won't get you far

When you sell signed books in the bar

So here's the safest thing to do

You must pretend it isn't you

Set your wild plot up in the stars

Put your whole family on Mars

You can't defame the old, deceased

And at the very, very least

You can escape, and find release.

Pretend the villains wanted peace

Of course you pity those who hide

Of course you pity those who died

It's tempting to kill enemies

Wishful thinking is sure to please

However much the readers scoff

You can't kill hated villains off

That's not the clever thing to do

You need to save them for book two.

-ends-

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The Ark in the Park version 2

Noah started building his ark
All in secret, just for a lark
Near the dark woods and deep water
In a remote national park

But when building was nearly done
He grew tired of staying so mum
So called the family for fun
And said, "Let's take her for a run!"

They sailed around just as he'd planned
His boat, like a cruise ship, so grand
Unluckily when they reached land
The harbour master raised his hand

"You can't park that boat, not round here
It's far too large and far too near
I fear you'll cause an obstruction ..."
He stroked his chin in hesitation

Noah felt in pocket, no docket
But he had a gold coin or two
A bribe would get the man on side
He knew just what he had to do

He said, "You're good, but must act tough
Look, it's sunny, but waves are rough
We can't go, so could you move on?
Are these two, three, five coins enough?"

"The man looked over his shoulder
"Take them quick," said Noah, bolder
"Please be kind, don't raise the alarm
I promise, we won't do no harm

"We just need a lull in the storm
Good willing, we'll go in the morn
May I offer you tea inside?
Just take a look, have a free ride ..."

"No," said the man, "I must move on
Make sure by tomorrow you're gone."
Have a safe journey, wish you well
You ain't seen me. I'll never tell."

Waters rose. Noah slammed the door.
Stay or go? He still was not sure.
On balance, he thought, I'll wait, stay.
I've lost my map, don't know the way.

I'll get away with one more day!
Leave tomorrow, or two more days?
The sheep stop eating, the goats start bleating
What could he do? What should he say?

White, frothy waters splashed higher.
The sky grew grey. The drizzle was dire.
Mud sucked round - stuck in the mire!
Waves struck - the anchor floats away!

They drifted, circled days and days.
At last, dry flat land, they landed.
On a mountain top. "We're stranded!"
They all crept out and peered about.

Despite the flood, they're not alone.
They're in some other nation's home.
Dodos and dinosaurs are dead
Rabbits - and cockroaches - have bred.

Noah shows his boat, boasts his story
"Whales were huge, toothy sharks gory"
Lived on his tale 'til old'n' hoary
Found fortune, fame - eternal glory.
-ends-
Copyright Angela Lansbury. Sunday 18 August 2019.
I created version 2 by changing every line to eight syllables, adding some more thoughts, such as the number of coins and alliteration. I expanded the last couplet to four lines. I overwrote the first draft.

Then I read it to my husband.
However, my husband said he'd preferred the original version.

So I copied version 2, before saving it, reverted to draft in the hope of getting back version 1, saved version 2 as a new document. I went back to the (revert to draft) version 1 and made sure I had shortened it and recreated the the more conversational tone and uneven lines.

I would be interested to hear which version you prefer.  You need to read both versions twice. Why? Because if you read version 1 then version 2 you might prefer version one because on reading version two you have lost the surprise effect of reading it for the first time. 

The Ark In The Park version 1

Noah started building his ark
All in secret, just for a lark
Near the dark woods and deep water
In a remote national park

But when the building was nearly done
He'd grown tired of staying mum
He thought he would take it out for a run
And called the whole family in for some fun.

They sailed around just as he'd planned
Such a big boat, like a cruise ship, so grand
Unfortunately when they came into land
A 'busy' official held up his hand

"You can't park that big boat, not around here
It's far too large and it's far too near
I fear you will be causing obstruction ..."
He stroked his chin in meditation, hesitation

Noah felt in his pocket, but found no docket
Only a coin or two
A bribe would get the man on side
He knew what he had to do

He said, "You're a kind-hearted man, but have to be tough
Altough it seems sunny, the waves are too rough
We can't move off, can you move on?
Ahem - are these coins enough?"

"Well, I don't know ..." he looked over his shoulder
"Take it quickly," said Noah, now growing bolder
"Don't worry, I promise, we won't do no harm
Don't raise the alarm, in a lull between storms - we'll be gone in the morn.

"Are you sure you won't have some tea inside?
Have a look around, and come for a free ride ..."
"No, no," said the man, "I have to move on
But make sure by tomorrow you're gone."

The waters rose. Noah slammed shut the door.
Stay or go? He still wasn't sure.
On balance he thought he'd rather stay.
After all, he didn't know the way.

But the waters rose higher and higher
The weather was getting dire.
Muddy all round. Stuck in the mire.
A big wave struck and they floated away.

They drifted around for days and days.
Eventually they came to dry land and landed.
On the top of a mountain. A dry spell. they're stranded.
They all came out and looked about.

Despite the flood, they were not alone.
They'd landed in some other nation's home.
The dodo and dinosaur were both dead.
But the rabbits and cockroaches had secretly bred.

They had a big boat, and embroidered their story.
They lived on their fame - and eternal glory.
-ends-