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The Coffee In Your Coffee Cup - comical poem 665 by Angela Lansbury

 The coffee in your coffee cup

Is important, drink it up

Add some milk if it's too hot

Drink it quickly if it's not

In World War Two the Brits drank tea

This was the story Mum told me

Not tea bags dust, real tea leaf tea

Shops' pots of tea - cup two came free

Then when I reached the caffeine age

To gain courage to face life's stage

My habits turned another page

When coffee became all the rage

Now coffee is for connoisseurs

We have capsules, his and hers

Coffee shows class (we can't wear furs)

A drinker smiles like a cat purrs

We offer coffee when we meet

A proper coffee is a treat

The coffee bars offer a choice

Each customer has their own voice

Your name is written on the cup

Don't drink too fast but make it last

An interlude to gboost your mood

The food of love, a fattening food.

A pattern is drwan on the top

Cut out caffeine, I ought to stop

Save money spent in coffee shops

a coffee chocolate, that's the tops.

-ends-

Angela Lansbury. Copyright. 2025. Sept 25th

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Lost - But Found! comical poem number 664 by Angela Lansbury

 Yesterday we had a big loss

I'm trying to be pleased, not cross

I often find it seems the same

When something's lost, I get the blame

I keep hoping it's simply hid

I keep rewinding what we did

Check photos, phone shops, don't lose heart

Replay the day right from the start

We seemed to spend lots of money

In a delightful art-craft shop

Choose for me, next our small  honey

Then we both knew we had to stop

First buy - watercolour pencils

Then paper, a thick drawing pad

Then a putty rubber, eraser

The total sum was looking bad

We chose one thing, watching money

Just one thing more, it grew to four

One last thing, do me a favour

Small putty rubber, (eraser)

Four times seven is twenty eight

The assistant is working hard

Spending money's bad, yet great

Thank goodness we've a credit card

Do you want a bag? We disagree

My mistake, I thought it was free

Our friends have left, we must hurry

Where had they gone? Minor worry.

***

We'd checked the room of our hotel

Checked out. Trip over,  All seemed well.

One day later, unpacked at home

Our precious purchases? They've gone!

We both serched near, we both searched far

Not in my bag, suitcase, nor car

Not on my desk, under my chair

Hall, corridor, looked everywhere

I searched the web, hoped for a sale

Replace? Keep searching! Wrote email

Recorded message, use our web

Click send,  Type here, again it said!

For hours and hours I felt bereft

I wondered where it could be left

Left in the toilet I suspect

Our friend down south, she might collect

***

Next day, at last, thank God it's found!

His study floor it's run aground.

Lay hidden under something else.

What lesson for you? And myself?

Save yourselves from getting fraught

By recalling what you've been taught

Check which of you has bags, and where

Check table, under bed and chair

Stick address labels labels on each gift

Note where it is, each time you lift.

When you unpack, have a gifts place!

You'll save yourself a three-day chase

Nobody need apologise

Learn from mistakes, let's all be wise

Keep order, Calm down. Look around

Forget trouble. What's lost was found!

-ends-

Please share links to your favourite poems from this blog.

Also check books by Angela Lansbury poet on Amazon.co.uk  and Lulu.com

If you meet me and have one of my books with you I can sign it and write a rhyming couplet using your name, or the name of the person for whom you bought the book as a gift. 

Review from purchaser

I giggled a lot reading your book. 

Amparo, Harrovian Toastmasters International Speakers' Club, London.

Clocks, Locks And Socks comical poem 663 by Angela Lansbury Copyright

Watch to watch. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright. 

 Clocks, Locks And Socks comical poem 66 by Angela Lansbury

I yawn - put clock faces away

I'll treat late afternoon like night

I shrug, put watch and phone away

Later I'll turn night into day

Forced to get up when nature calls

I see it's three, it's not yet light

That's how I guess that it's still night

Don't turn on lights, just hold the walls

I feel awake, go back to bed

Silk pillow's waiting for my head

I yawn and sigh, kick off my socks

I know it's night, I don't need clocks

I yawn and sigh and sigh and yawn

Can't sleep - yet suddenly it's dawn

I turn over, then check the clocks

I've overslept, that is a shock

I hear the bell, I hear loud knocks

I find my shoes, hunt, seek my socks

Unlock, Parcels. I sign, re-lock

Not yet mid-day! Good news from clocks!

It's getting late, I'm short of time

Sorry, I must re-use old rhyme

No-one's ignored me if they mock

I've won more time, beaten the clock.

-ends-

Please share with friends, family and colleagues the links to your favourite poems in the posts on this blog.

About Angela Lansbury

I have blogs on travel with angela, dress of the day, and this blog, Comic poems  Hazel Nutter, all on blogspot.

You can see and buy my books on Amazon and Lulu.com

My latest book published in 2025 is Embarrassing Moments by Angela Lansbury.

Time To Diet - A Distraction comical poem 662 by Angela Lansbury

First thing - I ought to weigh myself

It's up to me it's my own health

My buttons burst, I've split my skirt

I must admit it's me I've hurt

I know when I'm on a diet

Don't tell your friends, best keep quiet

Eat half or whole? You're in control

When faced with breafast's brown seed roll

 Is time an enemy or friend?

It warns, bad start, good - break time ends

The one thing dieters can't stop

Is time's march like a ticking clock

I have a hunch it's time for lunch

To chew, to chomp, swallow and munch

At waiting I'm still a beginner

I struggle to wait for dinner

If I can't wait I'll take a date

Next time my loot's a piece of fruit

A glass of water helps me wait

Weigh myself in my birthday suit

Open the fridge, I look for tea

A host of food is calling me

Until I see the warning clock

Slam the fridge door, this search must stop

Postpone pleasure, postpone sorrow

Once more, diet starts tomorrow

Once a sinner, now a winner

Just say 'no seconds' at dinner

Old friends praise me, "You look thinner!"

I've a secret, I won't keep it

Avoid trouble, don't eat double

Snacks?  Half a chocolate biscuit.

Brain and tummy, like dad and mummy

Fight over who will win this time

Wine? Just one sip, Water first. Win!

Let's fight off hunger writing rhyme.

-ends-

Version one of thi poem read I gihgt off hunger writing rhyme. I thought that was a surprise. I changed it to let's fight off hunger writing rhyme. More inclusive of the reader. A message. Now I'm wondering if the first version was more original. I have left the second version but added this note, so leave it to the poem reader or poem performer to choose.

Let's fight off hunger writing rhyme is also an instruction to yself in the future. Distraction. Distraction activity. 

The Missing Mouse comical poem 661 by Angela Lansbury Copyright

 

Something is wrong with this house

A mouse which nobody can see

I knocked it on the floor somewhere

And it's eluding me

I'm sure that I would be just fine

If somebody could redesign

A mouse, which falls a foot or two

Will quickly bleep, alerting you

Maybe I'll add luminous tape

So that the mouse cannot escape

You wonder how I found it

What we did to confound it

After I had looked everywhere

My husband looked under my chair

And guess what,folks

Yes, it was there.

So with this mishap in your mind

I'd be glad if you'd redesign

A mouse which you see day and night

And shouts, 'I'm on the left,' (or right)

When your prototype's reached its best

And you want to give it a test

I will drop it right behind me

Dear friends, you know where to find me.

I'm on the floor

In my own house

I'm looking for

A missing mouse.

-ends-

Darling Little Squirrels - Stop! comical poem 660 by Angela Lansbury

 

• Grey Squirrel on fence. Photo by Trevor Sharot. Copyright. 

Those darling little squirrels, cute

Were missing, never seen at dawn

They're back, cute, busy making waves

No - now they're digging up my lawn!

Now handsome is as handsome does

When my garden's their empty stage

Those heroes become villains when

Their actions put me in a rage.

All animals are friends or foe

Depending what they do to you

Depending where they and you go

The fashion, passion, what you know.

Some say that, 'They are troublesome

And when th,ey do their worst

Both they and their defenders

Are evil, and should be cursed'

While others say, 'Please let them be.

They were here first. They should be free!'

What's wrong? They're gone! Now you can see

Each five minutes life changes me.

-ends-

It's up to you, that's all from me.

 what will be will be.

Please share links to your favourite poems in posts on this blog.

I also have other blogs on blogspot.com on travel, and dress of the day.. My books of poems and on writing poetry are on amazon.co.uk and lulu.com

Why Should A Poem Be Serious? comical poem 659 by Angela Lansbury Copyright

Writer Angela Lansbury wearing black sheep apron. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.
 

Why should a poem be serious!

Should I be funny or not?

Comedians are popular

And they get paid a lot!

Newspapers are full of tragedy

My friend Sandra won't read news at all

I'm in need of distracting comedy

While listening for the emergency call.

When asked to dinner, what to do?

"What should I bring? Must bring something ...'

They smiled, "The entertainment was you!"

-ends-

Angela Lansbury copyright Oct 10th 2025

The Rain Is Waning comical poem 658 by Angela Lansbury

window on the rain. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright. 

 The rain's not waning

But I'm not complaining

I've heard all the keep healthy talks

That I ought to get out in the sun

Stock up on vitamin D in walks

But my vitamin D pills have been done

My positive thinking will harden

As soon as logic takes over

'though a thwarted suntan lover

I need not water the garden

The garden looks like I've bungled

The plants are growing apace

Not a garden, more like a jungle

The poor weeds are fighting for space

The rain cannot last for ever

Tomorrow we'll see sun again

When the sun stays out, threatening drought

We'll be longing for rain again.

-ends-

copyright Angela LansburyWed August 9th 2025

Writer's Lament comical poem number 657 by Angela Lansbury from Harrow Writers' Circle Archives

Cuckoo clock for cuckoo writers. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

The Writer's Lament

The deadline loomed, the brain was dumb

And inspiration would not come

But I won't admit that I am so dumb

When clocks says it's too late - work's suddenly done!

Angela Lasnbury

-ends-

I wrote that for the Harrow Writers' Circle Christmas party on December 20th 2001.

The Happy Sea's Shipwrecks comical poem 656 by Angela Lansbury

 I'm happy as the silver sea

Friends bring new happiness to me

I'm dancing like the tumbling waves

Like a lifeguard swims, free and brave

In winter travellers stay on shore

Lazy, till summer calls once more

A dog, cat, child, blind man can see

Who's brought purpose in life to me

Grandchildren end lonely misery

'though life's not always safe, pain-free

When I look in your lovely eyes

I see red earth, and bright blue skies

Sunmer sun, spring rain, winter snow

 The seeds we'll plant, water will grow

I'll teach you all the myths I know,

Tall palms grow fast,

The past won't last

Be patient, fruit at first grows slow 

We have a glowing group of friends

Ripples of goodwill never ends

We cut, and prune, and mow each hour

Dreaming of herbs, spices, flowers

Like a teenage couple glancing

A fairytale romance with dancing

Hold hands by bands, ballons, fir

Liqueur, bonheur and orchestra

Floating, glinting on sequinned sea

Wherever your float boat may be

Waves of joy bring you back to me

Vows like gems keep you happy

Like tourists surfing on the waves

Exploring vast inviting sea

Which pulls most hosts to safe sandy shores

Your shady haven, home with me.

But shores have rocks, you should expect

Don't shut your eyes, hope we don't see

Steer firm past pirates on shipwrecks

Who wish they'd sailed with you and me.

-ends-