Tuesday, December 10, 2024

Quick Change From Zero To Hero comic poem 490 by Angela Lansbury

Angela Lansbury, in London, December 2024. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

From water to wine

From wine to water

In moderation,

Smiles, not loud laughter


There was some laughter

I learned a lot

From the new contacts

I have got


I have a lot

Of tales to tell

The best news is

That I slept well


From friend to lover

From drunk to sober

From youth to wisdom

I'm not hungover


From wake to stare

From now to where

From here to there

From table to chair


From walk to talk

From board to chalk

From reader to preacher

From learner to teacher


From search to mess

From shower to dress

From smile to kissed

From wrist to list


From what shall I say

To have a nice day

From inner swearword

To please go away


From a simple poem

To lots of knowing

From understanding

To telling and showing


From minus one

To starting snowing

From getting ready

To I'm not going


From late breakfast

To a late lunch

From Americanisms

To thanks - a bunch


To wondering whether

I'm wasting time

From checking my clock

Your time or mine


From ups and downs

To shrugging off pains

From smiles to frowns

Write down small gains


From getting a parcel

To thanks to send

From a stranger

To a new friend


From day to night

In winter time

The days are short

In a seasonal climes


Just when you bought 

Big winter boots

The garden shows

Small green spring shoots


From wondering what

Is round life's bend

From a quick start

To surprise sudden end.

-ends-




Friday, November 29, 2024

Talk About A Knife & Fork comic poem number 489 by Angela Lansbury


Don't be afraid of long menus

Or young waiters, arrive early

Ask for their help, make them feel good

They'll smile, chat, show teeth pearly


To those used to using chopsticks

Knives and forks are confusing cutlery 

Everyday layouts won't confuse the Brits

But silver service is a mystery


Each country has its own good rule

But it needs communication

To diners and new waiters

To avoid lots of confusion


 Let's talk about a knife and fork

The knife is on the right

The fork is on the left

The soup spoon's first, far right


Why is the knife on the right?

Easy to understand

Before forks were invented

Knives were gripped by your cutting, (fighting!) hand


Soup Course And Plate

The British eat warming soup first

(The Chinese eat soup last)

Soup spilt in laps mishaps the worst

Tilt plate away, danger is passed


Knife & Fork Position

You start from the outside.

Placed A-shape on plates is silent talk

Still eating, paused, might finish soon.

Next, the soup spoon and the tea spoon



Soup Spoons

A dessert spoon's large and oval

A soup spoon's deep and round

For both clear broth and thick soup

Don't slurp but sip without a sound 


Spoon sizes

Yes, the English soup spoon's bowl is round

In Europe that's unknown

Dessert spoon oval, tea spoon small

Coffee spoon smaller, should be shown 



The serving waiter's on diner's right

Another's clearing from the left

All silently, like ghosts out of sight

Waiting at distance, watching, deft


When you finish in England

Knife and fork together, upwards, on the plate

Silently says, 'Waiter, clear now 

We do not wish to wait!'


A chocolate comes with the bill

We hope that bill won't break our banks

Waiters smile, lead to the door

'Please come again,' bow, smiling thanks.

-ends-

Please share links to your favourite posts

Tuesday, November 26, 2024

Where Does A Poem Come From? comic poem number 488 by Angela Lansbury


Where does a poem come from?

It's not floating in the air

It's pushing to be written

I wake from dozing in my chair


A poem starts like a dream

Ready to be recollected

From a dictionary of ideas

To be sorted and selected


The dictionary's a house of words

Short? Long? words aren't all the same

Your choice, your voice calls to be heard

Rhyme and rhythm rule the game

***

Messages prompted by emotion

Advertising, propaganda

I frown and scratch my tangled hair

I yawn and scrawl, right-hander


I'm glad I learned to touch type

Thoughts rush like waves, like pop-up toast

Re-writing not just a hype

Re-typing's what I do the most


I have tools correcting spelling

Which keep checking while I am dressing

Whatever thoughts I'm selling

The computer helps compressing


And if banal words bore us

AI, yet to try, is on hand

Inspiration from thesaurus

Helps me, clarify, you, understand


Even without a reader

My effort's not diminished

I can show it to the world

As soon as I have finished


A poem is a joy, 

A comedy to share

To prove one has a heart.

To tell the world you care


To lighten, brighten up your day

A good poem's worthwhile

For both writer and dear reader

To provide a daily smile.

-ends-

Please share links to your favourite poems.


Thursday, November 14, 2024

Lost comic poem 487 by Angela Lansbury

 Where did I lose the thing I've lost?

I hope I'll find it - fingers crossed

Perhaps the object's in its place

And I'm the one confused and lost.

-ends-

Please share links to your favourite poems.


Description
Français : Fête de la musique 2019 à Genève. Objets trouvés : un petit chien en peluche « doudou », une pince à cheveux, posé sur un distributeur à sachets pour crottes de chiens « Caninette ».
Date
SourceOwn work
AuthorMHM55

Wednesday, November 13, 2024

A picture's worth a thousand words of poetry? Comic poem 486 by Angela Lansbury

 


A poem paints a picture, I wish

Is a picture's worth a thousand words?

You can recite with both your eyes shut

Ballads learned at school, so often heard


A sun, a moon, a bridge, two love birds

A plate, a cup, and a candle flame

A fairy, two witches, add a third

A banner, signature, famous name


Can I frame a poem in a border

Lines of pretty flowers, plants or leaves

Wild seas, letters, a leaning tree trunk

Like a scroll from a wave on high seas


I often wondered how to do it

Or create each picture in Powerpoint

With a background of waving colour

Tall, or wide, made on a Conva slide


Can I learn to illustrate poems

With charcoal sketches or news cartoons

Water colour, oil or acrylic

To silence the watching reading rooms


Then turn my poems into a book

With messages, traditional themes

That love conquers war, or even more

Rainbows of lasting peace, vivid dreams.

-ends-

Short Poems - comic poem 485 by Angela Lansbury

 

Medium size label. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

My shortest rhyme is it'll fit.

But too short's futility

Poems first need utility

Comic poems add wit


The Japanese write concise haiku

But I'll not inflict cuts on you

(I'm never quite sure what to do

Is the subject fiction? It sounds true.)


The haiku's beats are five and seven

But I'm at ease with 8,10, 11

Their poems speak of Spring, ponds, frogs

Not real life cities, fights, dead dogs


I'm a would-be doctor, poem nurse.

Try a long poem with short verses

A short poem with long verses

A simple couplet, ought to do it.


Why write short poems?

To save time

The reader's, writer's

Yours and mine


So, I'll try again, dear friend

Don't let work drive you round the bend

Bring all work quickly to an end

Remember to click done or send.


I must leave now or I'll be late -

Before I leave, in real life, wave

On some websites, with slides, click save

On blogger you must click update


But tell your listener what to do

A good reminder to self, too

And make the listener feel you care

Ask them politely, please share.


I am not tall, not tall at all

I don't climb walls in case I fall

A short poem sounds good to me

That size will suit me perfectly.


Each poem should be in three sizes

The longest one with twist end surprises

Small, medium or large? The buyer's call

Like shirts, it's not true one size fits all.

-end-

Please share links to your favourite poem.


Tuesday, November 12, 2024

Tick Tock comic poem 484 by Angela Lanabury

 Tick tock, like tinnitus, can you all hear

Christmas carols call like a ticking clock?

What is the date? Gift stocking can't be late

Dusk's dark as midnight - but it's only five


The elves and rheindeer grin on socks

To brighten up the end of year

All kinds of chocolates on the plate

And gifts galore to buy and give



Tesco gifts Grinchmas. Photo by Angela Lansbury.


I'm half asleep, and yawning, half alive

Santa's red and white hats fill tinselled shops

Wearing heavy, hooded coats, we still strive

To sparkle until winter flu strike stops.


Lights on lamp posts in Hatch End. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

White lights wound round lamp posts brighten our streets

Past pickpockets, join jolly shopping crowds

Shops fill with tempting chocolate Christmas treats

Dream of diet-free days when pud's allowed.


Tesco shopping at Clubcard prices for Curtis the Cavapoo plush. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.


In January masochists will go

To countries blessed with even worse, deep snow

Well after Fall, when snowflakes are falling

Sales start, ski brochure bargains are calling.


Christmas crackers give jokes, mottoes, and rhymes

While others fly to warmer, palm tree climes

I wrap like snowmen, wait for happy times

When wise, kind clocks leap forward to summer time.

-end-

Please share links to your favourite post.

Sunday, November 10, 2024

Why Not Try AI? Comic poem 483 by Angela Lansbury

 

Mobile phone case. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

Once we were scared by a mobile phone

But now we can't leave ours alone

We've loads of them throughout our home

Missed out year one - wish we had known 


How I wish we hadn't grumbled

Everything changed when prices tumbled.

We feel scared by all things new

AI can help to pull us through


At first AI was scary and

It frightened me a little bit

Covid made us leave friendly rooms

But now we meet the world on Zooms


Wiki tells us all we need to know

We travel, see zoos on video

We lost bank passwords and were skint

But now do banking with thumb print


Will AI steal our writing jobs?

Now microwaves replace gas hobs

Well, some things change while others last

Saliva tests reveal our past


Videos show us traffic jams

And hit and runs caught on dash cams

Door cameras say the mail's arrived

We can hear baby's still alive


We see our children learn at school

And check the fridge-freezer's still cool

Rush through stations to catch our train

Driverless wonders on time again


I shop online - can AI cook?

It can if I supply the book

If  AI warns of fire and flood

Robots rescue - that must be good


While everything has negatives

I'll focus on the positive

AI was sent from Gods above

To match make and find us true love.

-ends-

Please share links to your favourite poems.


Thursday, November 7, 2024

A Smile Baby poem comic number 482 by Angela Lansbury

Smile. Photo by Angela Lansbury.


Every baby needs a smile granny

Failing that, a smile nanny

Every grumpty granny needs a smile baby

Every grinning grandpa needs a listening baby


If you smile at a cry baby enough

They turn into a smile baby

If you smile at a smile baby enough

They turn into a smile child


If you smile at  a smile child enough

They turn into a smile teen

If you smile at a smile teen enough

They turn into a smile lover


If a smile lover smiles at others enough

They find another smile lover

If they smile at each other enough

They end up with a cry baby


But if they smile at a cry baby enough

It turns into a smile baby

If I write enough smiles for her and him

I'll end up with a smile poem.

-ends-

Saturday, November 2, 2024

Saving Space comic poem 481 by Angela Lansbury

 Gadgets designed for saving space

Are filling my over-filled place

I buy suitcases which expand

And scissors which fit both my hands



My problem is I cannot find

The white walking cane for the blind

The hearing aid, and my spare teeth

Are hidden somewhere underneath


I know I bought one, but forget

The secret place where it was set

To hide from burglars, book disguise

Will also hide it from my eyes


I've summer clothes and winter clothes

But in between ones, no-one knows

They're in a suitcase, on the floor

Or hiding, shy, behind the door


I need to find the bill for rates

I found the tea cups, lost the plates

I found the fork but lost the knife

Can't find tea spoons to save my life


I've fixed ten shelves onto the wall

But can't find anything at all.

I've put old leaflets in the bin

But more arrive - you just can't win.


I've folded big bags in small ones

Expanding bags - holiday fun

Old things bought last year now are missed

My shopping list - I've lost that list


What will they say when I have died?

Here's the whole life of this old dear

To sort it out will take a year

Throw it away - at least she tried.

-ends-

Copyright Angela Lansbury

Please share links to your favourite poems.




Thursday, October 31, 2024

Which picture is the real me? Comic poem 480 by Angela Lansbury

 

Angela Lansbury, caricaturist.

Angela Lansbury wearing green Xmaa tree headband.

Angela Lansbury with cat puppet and fabric snake.


Happy Birthday plate at restaurant. Angela Lansbury.

Angela Lansbury celebrating with rose wine.

Angela Lansbury wearing red Toastmasters International tee-shirt.




































 Which picture is the real me?
And do you see the me I see?
Pretty and young or wise and old
Careful, cautious, brash or bold?

Should I convey true me today
Or dressed up on a special day?
Can I perform in comedy
Still be taken seriously?

Should I be red and dressed for fun
Or white at night as game's begun
Then change into my dancing shoes?
It's marketing, choose gain not lose!

Should I hold up a microphone
And make sure that I stand alone
Hold a doll, a prop or puppet?
Add more photos, no, I'll stop it.

I'll add a book - do I need it?
If I show it, will you read it?
If I show it, will you buy it?
PR people say, yes, try it.

Or should I choose what makes me smile
Brings back a happy memory?
If you don't understand my choice
Nod and smile and write to ask me.
-ends-

My Oversize Shoes Have Fallen Apart comic poem number 479 by Angela Lansbury


Saved Inner Soles. Photo by Angela Lansbury. Copyright.

 My outsize red shoes have fallen apart

So what went wrong with them, where do I start?

I wore them yesterday every so brave

I hoard broken shoes, now what can I save?



The lining was leather, ever so thin

Synthetic tops cracked but red was a win

Animal lovers like shoes of plastic

What can I do with tiny elastic?


When I told my husband, what did he say?

The usual phrase, 'Just throw them away!'

I don't just save the world, I think of me

All odd things are useful one rainy day


That's why broken shoes are left on the floor

Or in the spare room, hide behind the door

I'm sure they are loved by shoe gods above

One day they'll revive, loved and worn once more..

-ends-

Today 31 October 2024) I went back through my list of poems on my blog on comic poetry and looked at the title of my poems to see which ones attracted attention and how I could make the titles more intriguing, surprising and humorous. I saw the poem entitled Suitcases, changed it to suitcase security, which was alliterative and slightly emotional. My third version of the title was Suitcase Insecurity. That is also a pun on insecurity about suitcases, and suitcases in Security.

My other thought was to move the photos so that each poem is headed by a photo instead of inserting the photo half way through the poem where the photo fits the verse subject. The picture at the start is attractive and makes a better layout if the poems are collected and turned into a book.