Lovely Luton Airport - comic poem 157 by Angela Lansbury

Luton airport, control tower. Picture from Wikipedia.

Little Luton has an airport

Which makes you glad to get away

It's popular for short breaks, elsewhere 

But not a place to stay

When England's trains were striking

We were glad to arrive

Our lost luggage was hit by lightning

We were glad to be alive

I put on my reading glasses

And I squinted at the map

If our air fare is cheaper there

I admit we're going back 

Luton, Luton, hardly bigger than a crouton

Not so good you grin, not so bad you grieve

You are always glad to get there

But equally glad to leave.

You would not want to die there

Or even to be born

It looks average in sunshine

But really bad in a storm.

The British are cynics

Ironic, and moan

When they are far away

They say want to be home

Don't get me wrong

Although I complain

In a poem or song

I shall go there again.

After I'd parked

It was getting dark

But I found the seats

And a sandwich in Marks.

Avocado in brown bread

Nothing bad can be said

How to change what you think

Have a sandwich and a drink.

-ends-

'Change' or 'reverse'? Reverse is more original. I changed the word change to the word reverse. But change has the right number of syllables. I changed the last line but one back to change.

A Gold-plated Necklace Of Words Comic poem 156 by Angela Lansbury - also known as Hazel Nutter

When you need a simple rhyme

There's no need to waste your time

Type synonyms and a Thesaurus

Roget's done the hard work for us

D'you need new words? Just look online

No need to spend a single dime

Synonyms crowd the thesaurus

Repetition needn't bore us

If syllables outrun your line

Count on your fingers, you'll be fine

Don't let all life's stresses gnaw us

When you're tired, write a chorus

When big news is all grime and crime 

Small positive words seem sublime

Good words open new doors for us

That's why readers all adore us

In the daytime, or after dark

Poets and speakers leave their mark

Life has found a new job for us

All our keen readers implore us

You do not need to waste your time

Wracking your brains to think up rhymes

Roget wrote in his thesaurus 

He's done all the hard work for us.

Each proud nation's patriots climb

Place ads at stations, flash flags and signs

Even those who never knew us

Send songs, hymns, and prayers, to us

Recycle, improve what went before

Words links chains, change people, add more

Thought and research prove chains are true

I'll pass these gold-plate words to you.

-ends

Photo of discarded, damaged, gold-plated tap, upcycled, glued, preserved, to make a glittery paperweight. 

Chains in a necklace was what I was thinking, not chains holding you down.

Life's Comic Train Journey Comic poem by Angela Lansbury, Poem 155

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As Busy As A Bee, Boasting of My Magical Book On Alliteration At Riotous Writers Summer School, poem 154

version 1

I'm sure you and beautiful Bea would like to be as busy as a bee

I've seen a lot of busy bees, but few as busy as marvellous me

 

I'm not busy like a has been, I don't dwell on what I might have been

I'm tutting, clearing up the typo mess I made, so silly spelling errors won't be seen

I'm angelic Angela, amazing and amusing 

I like planes and boats and trains, no camping, yes cruising

I like any kind of meeting which includes a lot of eating

I like chauffeurs and cooks, and those who buy my books!

I like to diet, because I don't want to die

From overeating at a meeting

Or dinner, when I try

Not to eat seconds every mealtime, every day

Instead a doggie bag, for a bitch's brilliant take away

I wrote Improve your English

I do not approve of Singlish

I used to be easy-going and obese

Now I'm thin as a thong, and I work, very long, 

As a volunteer, with grammar police

My book contains alliteration, 8

Plus assonance and rhyme 6

I'll teach you alliteration, 

Give me just five minutes of your precious, ticking time

I shall speak of dashing Dennis, 

And barmy, brainy Bill

Darling Denise who pays the club's food and drinks bill

Helped by our cook, generous, Gill

I shall go on and on about Johnson And Johnson and John

Add add Peter the painter to the metre

And because it's already after dark

I won't meet mysterious Marc in the park

I've joined generous Gerald and Jewish Julian

Pushed poor Pauline towards pretty Penny

Added Aunt Anita and cute Carolyn

And jubilant Julie and genuine Jenny

I've met most of the host of awesome authors

And heard lots of ingenious plots 

If I share alliteration with you,

We're both bound to make money, lots and lots.

If you have any questions

I'd be glad if you don't ask

Just buy and read my book

You'll absorb all, from that quick and simple task.

Goodbye. Goodbye to Gregory. My book's a very good buy

Buy it and you'll be as busy as a bee and start talking and twittering on just like me

Alliteration is a habit, once you try

Just read it, you need it - a great, good buy, a great goodbye.

Version 2 (Syllable count at end of each line)

Be like me, busy as a bee 8

No-one's busy like me

I'm not busy like a has been,

Shrug - what I might have been

I'm clearing the typo mess made, 

Spelling errors unseen

I'm your angelic Angela

Amazing, amusing

I like big planes, small boats, long  

Hate camping, love cruising

I love any kind of meeting

Which has  lots of eating

 I like chauffeurs, chefs and good  cooks

And those who buy my books

My new book's Improve Your English

I don't mention  Singlish

Once easy-going - and obese

Now I'm thin as a thong

As a volunteer I work long

With the  Grammar Police

My book contains alliteration, 8

Plus assonance and rhyme 6

I'll teach you alliteration, 

Give me five minutes time

I shall speak of dashing Dennis, 

And barmy, brainy Bill

Denise pays the club's food and drinks bill

Helped by our cook, generous, Gill

They'll go on and on, Johnson John

I see David but it's dark

Peter the Painter, add metre

Don't meet Marc in the park

I've joined Gerald and Julian

Pushed Pauline to Penny

Add Anita and Carolyn

Jolly Julie and Jenny

I've met hosts of awesome authors

Hear lots of clever plots

I'll share my rhyming tricks with you

Write songs, make money -lots!

If you've any burning questions

Keep silent, please don't ask

Just buy and find all in my book

Quizzes teach - easy task

Goodbye, my dear, it's a good buy

You'll talk in rhyme like me

Alliterations' a habit

Need it? Read it! Goodbye.

-ends-

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Dear Little Children, Trust Me . Comic poem by Angela Lansbury number153

Children learn when you pinch toy rabbits they squeak

They live forever, without food, many weeks

You can shout at a toy, but it never speaks

We search the wide world, but don't know what we seek

All the world's dear little children

Think the clouds and the sky hide a heaven

And after we die - as we all might - one day

We all go to heaven, not the other way. 

And all the good parents

That's me, them - and you

Won't spoil adult kids' fun and say it's not true

For that would cause a most dreadful to do 

And all the nursery's soft, cuddly bears

Give the impression that bears have blank stares

And love to be cuddled

No scientist cares, nobody dares

Yet one day kids ask why

Birds fly through the sky

I can't explain the thunder and rain

Or how a young pilot can fly a large plane

So we all pretend til the day that we die

With hopes flying high

All adults are children, so don't ask why

We pretend, we believe, you can see through the sky.

-ends-

copyright Angela Lansbury Monday 2nd August 2022